Choices
by eorocks
Summary: Elliot and Olivia have always been good about hiding their feelings from each other; but will they reveal their true feelings before it's too late and one of them makes a choice to leave the other behind?
1. Chapter 1

Here's a new story that's been running through my head. This is set in Season 7, probably pre Gitano. Kathy and Elliot are separated. I hope you enjoy it. I know not a lot of people like to write reviews, but they really encourage me to keep going…or not! Thanks!

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia walked into the emergency room at Mercy Hospital and was greeted by a number of familiar faces. That's what happened when you spent as much time here as she and Elliot did. The head nurse pointed her towards one of the examination rooms without even asking, and Olivia pushed her way through the door.

"I swear to God Elliot. They should give you a private room with how often you end up here." She said, shaking her head as she walked up to her partner propped up on the exam table.

The doctor turned towards her and Olivia was surprised by an unfamiliar face. "Mrs. Stabler?" he asked.

Elliot saw Olivia give the doctor a thin lipped smile; Olivia absolutely hated it when people assumed she was his wife, even though the thought of that always made him smile.

"Actually, no. I'm his partner. Detective Olivia Benson." She made sure she let him know she was a detective.

"Oh. I'm sorry. I just thought…" He smiled. "Never mind. I'm Dr. Collins. Adam Collins." He held out his hand, and then realized he still had latex gloves on and put his hand back down.

Olivia walked closer to the bed and put a hand on Elliot's arm. "How bad is it?" Elliot had taken a knife in his arm apprehending a suspect, and the ambulance had carted him away before she'd had a chance to catch up.

"It's just a flesh wound." Elliot said.

Olivia rolled her eyes and looked at the doctor. "How bad?"

He smiled at her. "It's more than a flesh wound. It took 9 stitches to close it up, but it didn't cut through any major arteries or muscle, so recovery should be relatively quick."

"At least it's your left arm El." Olivia said. "You won't have to requalify."

"Yeah, small favors. I'm still gonna be on ass duty though." Elliot grumbled. The nurse was placing a clean bandage over the stitches. "I'll be ready to go in a few minutes." he said.

The doctor looked over at her and nodded his head towards the door. "Can I talk to you a minute?" he said, and Olivia furrowed her brow, wondering what he had to tell her that Elliot couldn't hear. She looked at Elliot and saw he had a similar expression on his face.

"Um. Sure." She looked back at Elliot as she walked towards the door. "I'll be right back."

The doctor stopped just inside the door to the exam room and Olivia stood next to him, so they were both facing each other, their profiles to Elliot.

"Is something wrong?" Olivia asked, a slight sound of panic in her voice.

"Oh...no. Sorry. Nothing's wrong. I just wanted to apologize for before. I shouldn't have assumed…"

Olivia smiled. "It's fine. It happens. We're just used to dealing with the same doctors when we're here… and we're here a lot. I didn't mean to be so short with you. I was just worried about my partner."

"I understand. I _am_ new here. I just moved here from Chicago."

"Oh. Well, welcome to New York." She looked over at Elliot. He was watching the interaction between the two of them, eyebrows raised. She turned back to the doctor. "Is there anything else?"

"Yeah, so I don't really know anyone in town and I was wondering if I could call you sometime. Maybe we go out for dinner?"

Olivia was stunned. Did he really just ask her out? She hadn't been expecting that and she wasn't quite sure what to say. She looked back over at Elliot, who had a scowl on his face; almost as if he knew what was going on. She turned back to the Dr. Collins, really looking at him for the first time. He was a couple of inches taller than her. He had dark wavy hair and hazel eyes and Olivia found she was smiling back at him. "Um…sure. That would be nice." She pulled a business card out of her pocket. "I just have to warn you though; I've had more dates interrupted than I care to think about. Its part of the job…so don't take it personally if I can't make it or end up canceling on you."

Dr. Collins smiled, taking her card. "I promise I won't take it personally. I'll talk to you soon." He pushed the door open and walked out of the exam room and Olivia turned and walked back towards Elliot.

"What was that about?" asked Elliot as she approached.

"Nothing." said Olivia, shaking her head. "Just getting acquainted with the new doctor."

Elliot narrowed his eyes at her. "Getting acquainted?" He didn't like the sound of that. He had seen the way the new doctor was checking her out.

Olivia sighed. She didn't want to get into this with Elliot. He was so overbearing and overprotective sometimes. If she was honest, he was overbearing and overprotective most of the time. They had a very complicated relationship. They were best friends; probably closer than partners should be. But that was it. Despite what everyone else thought, they were not sleeping together. They had never even kissed. Hell, they barely even touched each other unless it was necessary. It was if they knew it was too dangerous…their feelings for each other lurked beneath the surface and they couldn't do anything that might blow their carefully constructed relationship out of the water.

"El, drop it." she said in a tone that let him know she wasn't going to put up with his questioning. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah. Help me with my shirt." he said as he climbed off the exam table. Olivia grabbed his shirt, and saw the slash and the blood.

"Are you sure you want to wear this?" she asked. They should get a budget for all of the clothes that got ruined by theirs' or someone else's blood.

"I don't really have a lot of options. I can't walk out of here without a shirt."

Olivia smiled. "I think there are some nurses out there that wouldn't mind." She wouldn't mind herself she thought, taking in the hard planes of his chest and his muscled arms. She'd had quite a few dreams starring Elliot Stabler with his arms around her; and there may have been other body parts involved as well.

"Yeah, well. Don't want to give them a cheap thrill." He reached for the shirt. "Are you going to help me or not?" His left arm was stiff and he wasn't able to get his arm through the sleeve.

"Fine. But you know, I'm really tired of picking you up from the emergency room." She said as she helped in get his shirt on. He stood there with his shirt hanging open.

"It's not _my_ fault Liv. What am I supposed to do? Let the perp go?" He motioned towards his shirt. "I can't button this up by myself."

Olivia rolled her eyes and stepped in to button his shirt. As she did, Elliot closed his eyes, enjoying the fact that she was so close. He loved her scent. He didn't know if it was her shampoo or soap or lotion or perfume. Maybe it was the combination of all of them…but it was a scent that was uniquely Olivia and when he got a chance to be this close to her, he inhaled it like a drug. He must have moaned a little because Olivia pulled back.

"Are you OK? Did I bump your arm?" She gave Elliot a strange look.

Elliot recovered quickly, opening his eyes. "No. I just…it hurts like a son of a bitch."

"OK you big baby. Let's get you home. Can you walk out to the car?" she asked.

"I might need some help." he said, wrapping his right arm around her waist.

"Uh-huh, sure you do." said Olivia, laughing as they walked out of the exam room together and headed for the car.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Olivia had dropped Elliot at his apartment and made sure he was settled before she headed back to her apartment. She looked at her watch and saw it was almost 11PM and sighed. She hadn't had dinner and she had to work tomorrow. Elliot was ordered to stay home for the next 2 days; he could return to desk duty on Friday. She hated working without him, so tomorrow was going to be a long day. She was getting ready for bed when she heard her phone ringing. She groaned, hoping she wasn't getting called in. Then she realized it wasn't Cragen's ring tone. She grabbed the phone and saw it was an unknown number.

"Benson." she answered, giving her customary greeting.

"Olivia?"

"Yes."

"This is Adam Collins."

Olivia smiled. The good doctor worked fast. "Hi."

"Hey, I know it's late, but I was thinking about dinner. I don't suppose you're free on Friday?" he asked.

Olivia hesitated a moment; she certainly didn't want to seem too eager. "Uh, yeah, I think that should work. I'm not on call this weekend, so I shouldn't get called in. The only potential issue would be if I caught a case and ended up staying late."

"OK. What time works for you?" he asked. "Is 7:30 too early?"

"No, that should be fine." Olivia said. "Just let me know where to meet you."

"Oh, I guess I thought I'd pick you up at your place."

Olivia didn't like to let anyone know where she lived; at least not before she got to know them a little better. And she wasn't sure she wanted him to pick her up at the precinct.

"Adam, I'd really prefer to meet you there, if you don't mind."

"That's fine. It's a date. I'll call you tomorrow after I make a reservation."

"Sounds great." Olivia said, and she meant it. It had been a while since she'd been on a date and the doctor seemed like a nice guy. "I'm looking forward to it."

She hung up and climbed into bed, smiling and looking forward to her date.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

When Olivia got to the station house on Friday morning, Elliot was already there. She saw a coffee and a muffin sitting on her desk. She smiled over at Elliot. "Thanks El." She sat down in her chair and took a bite of the muffin. "Mmm. You take such good care of me." she said.

Fin looked over at Munch. "How come you never buy me coffee and a muffin?" he asked.

"Cuz you don't look like Benson." Munch quipped and Olivia laughed.

"Thank God." said Fin. "I don't want Stabler staring at _me_ all day long."

"Hey." said Elliot, and Olivia saw him scowl at Fin.

"Leave him alone El. He's harmless." she said, taking another bite of her muffin.

"Yeah, yeah. Anything I need to know? Any new cases?" Elliot asked.

Olivia shook her head. "Nope. The last few cases we've had have been pretty straightforward, so not much to do except for the paperwork. So that's what I've been doing." She took a sip of coffee. "And I hope it stays that way today. I am _not_ working late tonight."

"Oh yeah? Got big weekend plans?" Elliot teased, knowing Olivia spent the majority of her time at work. And when she wasn't at work, she was at the gym, running errands or hanging out with Casey, Alex or him.

"Ah, you know. Just the usual." She wasn't going to tell Elliot about her date with Adam. She didn't want to get into it with him; he always got in a mood when he found out she was going on a date or had been on a date. "You?"

"I'm going to take Dick and Lizzie to a movie tonight but other than that, I don't have anything going on. Maybe we can get together and watch a movie tomorrow night? Order some Chinese?"

Olivia nodded. "Sounds good El." She looked back down at her paperwork and Elliot watched her. She was twisting a strand of her hair, and tapping her pen on her bottom lip. He loved watching her from across the desk; especially when she was caught up in her work and didn't notice the attention. He guessed he wasn't as discreet as he thought though, if Fin had called him on it. He watched as her phone buzzed; she had gotten a text message. She read it and smiled, texting something back. He didn't really think much of it until she got a few more messages. She had a little smirk on her face.

"Whose texting you?" he asked. She got texts from him and Casey and Alex, but she didn't normally text back and forth like this. And not with that little smile on her face.

She looked up at him. "What?"

"I asked who was texting you." he said.

"Why?" she asked. It really wasn't any of his business, but she saw suspicion in his eyes. Sometimes she hated the fact that they were so connected.

"Just wondering." he said. "I don't normally see you text that much."

"Hmm." she said, standing up and picking up her phone. If Elliot was going to spy on her, she would take it outside the squad room. When she was out of the squad, she dialed Adam's number and leaned against the wall in the hallway.

"Hey." she said when she heard him answer. They had been talking a lot since he had first called her on Tuesday night, and she was really looking forward to dinner tonight. "I can't really keep texting you back and forth today. It's really busy here today." she fibbed a little. "But I'm looking forward to seeing you tonight."

Elliot poked his head out into the hallway and saw Olivia leaning up against the wall. She was talking on the phone and smiling. He furrowed his brow, wondering who she was talking to. He saw her hang up the phone and he ducked back into the squad room and sat back down just as she walked in.

"Everything alright?" he asked.

Olivia smiled at him. "Couldn't be better." she said.


	2. Chapter 2

**It's always fun to start a new story and see what unfolds. Everyone seems to love a jealous Elliot. Thanks for your reviews!**

" _Everything alright?" he asked._

 _Olivia smiled at him. "Couldn't be better." She said._

EOEOEOEO

Olivia looked back down at her paperwork, but she could tell Elliot was still watching her. He knew something was up; after all, he was a pretty good detective. But she wasn't going to tell him. The truth was that she had waited months after his separation for him to reveal anything about how he felt about her; change the course of their relationship in the slightest bit. Well, she could argue that _maybe_ they spent more time together. Well, free time together. Prior to his separation, they had spent lots of time together but that was work time. And after their long days and nights of working cases, he typically went home to try to appease his angry wife and to see his kids. Now, he had free time on his hands and they would catch dinner or have a movie night. But nothing had changed as far as intimacy went. In fact, she could swear things had gone the other way. He used to lean over her desk, brush against her accidentally, sit close…a million little things during the course of the day to initiate some kind of physical contact. But now that she thought about it, those had become more infrequent. And she missed it because damn it, that was her chance to feel his hard body lean against her, see his icy blue eyes close to her and get a smell of the light aftershave he wore.

She looked up at him, slightly upset at the thought of it, and saw he was still staring at her.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing." He said, not bothering to look away.

"Eyes on your own paper." She said, with an edge to her tone. Olivia shook her head; he had such a cocky attitude all the time. Well, anyway, she was done with wondering about what/if, because it obviously wasn't going to happen and she had to move on. She had to convince herself that her feelings were nothing more than friendship. Enter…Dr. Adam Collins. He seemed like a nice guy and he was good looking…AND he was a doctor. No more cops or A.D.A.'s for her; she had dated enough of them in her lifetime. She and Adam had talked a little via text and on the phone over the past couple of days. Their discussion wasn't anything too deep, just chit chat about their days and those kinds of things, but she found herself looking forward to getting to know him better and she smiled again. She looked at her watch and saw they only had a few hours left in the day. She was leaving at 5, no matter what.

"Got a hot date tonight or what?" Elliot asked, annoyance in his tone. "That's like the tenth time you've checked your watch and you keep sitting over there and smiling."

"I can't smile at work?" she asked.

"No."

"Hmm." Olivia didn't offer up any additional information and just went back to work. She didn't dare look up because she knew he was probably stewing over there.

Elliot looked over at his partner and he was truly annoyed. Something was definitely going on; something she didn't want to share with him. Olivia shared a lot with Elliot; a hazard of spending roughly 12 hours per day with each other; but there were some things she kept to herself.

"You didn't answer my question." He said, not missing the fact that she had dodged it.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Just because I'm anxious to get out of here on a Friday night, it means I have some kind of plans? Maybe I'm just tired and want to go home and relax." She said, not lying but avoiding the truth instead.

Elliot narrowed his eyes. He was just about to push her again when his phone rang. Olivia smiled. "You'd better get that." She said, focusing back on the paperwork in front of her and silently thanking whoever had called.

She heard him answer 'Stabler' and then 'I'll be right down.'

When he hung up the phone, he looked over at her as she looked up. "Kathy dropped the twins off early, so I'm going to run downstairs to get them."

Olivia smiled. "Sounds good." She loved Elliot's kids and didn't get a chance to see them very much, so it would be fun to see the twins at least.

Elliot returned with the kids a few minutes later, and Liz ran over and gave Olivia a hug. "I miss you Liv." She said, keeping her arms around Olivia as she hugged her back. Dick just said 'Hi'. Since he'd hit 12, he wasn't really comfortable hugging her anymore and she understood. So she just said 'Hi' back and kept her arm around Liz.

Elliot pulled a couple of chairs over and they all got caught up and chatted until about 4, when Elliot decided they'd had enough.

"We'd better get out of here." He looked over at Olivia. "If the Captain's looking for me you'll tell him I left?"

"Of course." Olivia said. "Have fun tonight!" She called after them as they walked out of the precinct.

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia stepped out of the cab in front of the upscale Italian restaurant that Adam had chosen. After an hour of deliberation, she had picked a simple black dress. She wanted to look nice without being too dressy, so this sleeveless black dress was perfect. It went down just past her knees with a slightly flared skirt, so it wasn't too tight and didn't show too much of her legs. And it had a modest v-neck, so it wasn't showing too much cleavage. Her black and tan heels were a nice accent, and she thought she looked pretty put together.

Adam obviously agreed as he greeted her, giving her a once over as she approached, reaching for her hand, and giving her a small kiss on the cheek.

"You look beautiful." He said, smiling as she looped her arm through his and they walked into the restaurant.

"Thank you." She said, smiling back at him and taking the opportunity to let her eyes roam a little. She thought he looked amazing in his black suit and white button down shirt; even though it was simple, he looked good. He had opted out of wearing a tie, and she was glad or she may have felt a little underdressed.

The waiter seated them at a fairly private table for two, and as soon as they sat down, the sommelier brought a bottle of red wine to the table. "Your wine, Dr. Collins." He said, resting the bottle on his arm and presenting it to Adam.

Olivia raised her eyebrow at him. "Come here often?" she asked.

He blushed slightly and Olivia found that endearing. "Yes, this is my favorite restaurant. I can always count it on it to be good, so I wanted to bring you here." He nodded at the sommelier as he uncorked the wine. "I don't need the pressure of worrying about trying out a new restaurant AND having to be charming all evening."

Olivia laughed. She understood. People that thought dating was easy were crazy; especially first dates. There was a lot of pressure to be talkative but not overlay chatty, to know what to discuss and what not to discuss, to not spill food on yourself and a million other little things.

"I'm sure it's wonderful." she said. "It's hard to go wrong with Italian."

Adam lifted up his wineglass and Olivia followed suit. "A toast." he said. "To a beautiful woman and a beautiful evening." Olivia clinked her glass with his and took a sip. It was a little cheesy, but she appreciated the sentiment.

They looked over the menus while they discussed their days at work, and Olivia found out that Adam was actually an oncologist with a pretty regular schedule, but that he had been working in Emergency to get to know the hospital and the other doctors and nurses a bit. They were extra shifts that he took on and it was purely circumstantial that they had met a few nights ago.

"Typically I work days…cancer patients don't typically come in at midnight."

"Yeah, well I feel like I'm at Mercy all the time, day and night." said Olivia.

"With your partner?" he laughed and Olivia laughed with him.

"No, not always. But he does spend his fair share of time there." Olivia took another sip of wine. "Most often, I'm there with victims. And a lot of time, that's late at night or in the middle of the night. Rapists don't typically keep office hours."

"That must be rough. I don't know how you do it." Adam paused for a second. "As a matter of fact, I was surprised to find out that that's what you do. Being a cop is pretty dangerous."

Olivia raised an eyebrow at him. "You think I can't be a good cop because I'm a woman?" If this was his line of thinking, she was going to have to cut him loose already.

"No! I didn't say that. I didn't mean it that way." Adam put his hands up in a defensive gesture. "I mean it's a tough job for anyone. I couldn't do that every day."

Olivia looked thoughtful. "I guess, but I also couldn't watch people die of cancer every day. Different people have different reasons for doing what they do."

"And what's your reason for being an SVU cop?" Adam asked.

Olivia knew the question was innocent enough; he didn't know anything about her past. But she wasn't ready to tell him that yet. So she shrugged her shoulders slightly. "Being raped is one of the worst things that can happen to a person. No one believes you…it's the only crime I know where people wonder if you asked for it. I feel like I can empathize with the victims and be an advocate for them. I feel like I'm making a difference." She took another sip of wine. "There are always more rapists and pedophiles out there, but I'm making a difference for the victims."

Adam gave her a small smile. "I like that you're passionate about what you do. And even though I don't know you very well, I can tell that you probably do make a huge difference in the lives of lots of people. I respect that."

Olivia gave him a big smile. "Thank you."

Their dinner came and they continued to talk while they were eating. Olivia always enjoyed this part of dating; there was always so much to learn about the other person. She hated to talk about herself so she had been successful in getting Adam to talk about himself. She learned that he had grown up in the Chicago area with two older brothers and a younger sister, and that all of his family still lived in that area. His two brothers were married and each had children, and his sister was engaged. He didn't mention is own status, so Olivia didn't know if he was divorced or never married, but since he didn't offer up the information, she wasn't going to ask. She heard about medical school and his residency and why he'd moved to New York. Finally, Adam must have realized that all of the discussion had centered on him.

"So we've been talking for the last hour and I still don't know anything about you."

"There's not much to know." Olivia said, finishing her second glass of wine. "I was born and raised in Manhattan by my mother, and I've never left the city. I've barely traveled outside of New York. I've been a detective for 7 years, and all of those years have been in SVU. I work a ton of hours, which doesn't leave me much time for a social life. My social circle pretty much includes my partner, my two friends Casey and Alex, both of who are or were A.D.A.'s for the city, and occasionally some of the other detectives in the squad. And that's just if we're going to get some drinks. If I have any free time, I usually go home to sleep or go to the gym!" She watched as Adam poured some more wine into her glass. "It's not a very exciting life."

"Hmm. So tell me about your partner. Elliot, right?" Adam asked. "How long have you guys been partners?"

Olivia gave him a thin lipped smile. She didn't want to talk about Elliot. "We've been partners for 7 years." She wasn't going to offer up any information beyond that.

"That seems like a long time. Is that normal?" he asked.

Olivia shrugged. "I don't know. I guess it's kind of a long time. But the two other detectives in our squad, Fin and Munch, have been partners for 6 years, so I guess it's not all that strange." Olivia thought for a moment. "I guess people rotate in and out, so the fact that all of us have stuck with SVU for this long is probably the strange part. But it works for us."

"So you and Elliot are close?"

Olivia furrowed her brow. Was he trying to ask her something or was she just reading too much into his question? "Close? I guess. When you see the things we see every day, and when you rely on each other like we have to, you get close. We're very good friends."

"Is he married?"

Olivia was getting tired of the questions about her personal life; and especially about Elliot. She was a private person and she wasn't sure what was driving these questions. Was he sizing up the competition or just making small talk? She couldn't decide.

"He's separated right now, and he has 4 kids." She took a sip of wine. "I don't really want to spend my night talking about Elliot." she said, giving him a look that she hoped he interpreted correctly as 'move on'.

"OK, so tell me more about your family. Does your Mom still live here in town? Do you have any brothers or sisters?"

Olivia sighed. More topics she didn't want to discuss. Now she remembered why she hated dating. "My mother passed away about 5 years ago, and I was an only child." In her head she added 'that I know of… my father was a rapist so, hey, I could have more siblings out there!'

Thankfully, the waiter had chosen that particular moment to stop and ask about dessert. Adam looked over at Olivia.

"I don't know about you, but I'm full. But there's a wonderful coffee shop with some great desserts about 6 blocks from here. I thought maybe we could walk a bit and then get some coffee and dessert there. How does that sound?"

Olivia smiled. "That sounds great."

EOEOEOEO

Olivia excused herself to use the ladies' room before they left. When she was done, she checked her phone and saw it was almost 10PM. She couldn't believe they had sat and talked that long. She saw she had several text messages, all from Elliot. She sighed, and decided she would read them later. She walked back out to the table and found Adam waiting for her. She must have had a scowl on her face because Adam got a worried expression on his face when he saw her.

"Everything OK?" he asked.

"Oh, yes, everything's fine." She smiled.

Adam held out his hand, gesturing for her to go ahead of him. He walked up next to her and put his hand lightly on her lower back as they exited the restaurant. As they started walking, Olivia looped her arm through his and they started walking slowly down the street. As they walked, Adam started to ask Olivia about different restaurants and other spots he should go to, since he was new to the city. As they were talking, Olivia heard her phone ring. She ignored it.

Adam stopped walking. "Are you going to get that?"

Olivia shook her head. "No." The phone stopped ringing and they kept walking. It rang two more times before they reached the coffee shop.

"Maybe you should get that." Adam said, looking concerned. "It seems like someone's really trying to reach you."

Olivia sighed, knowing that Elliot wasn't going to give up. "I have a better idea." She fished her phone out of her purse and turned it off. "I'm not on call tonight, so there's no reason I have to have this stupid thing on." She shoved the phone back into her purse, and looped her arm back through Adam's. "Let's get some dessert."

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot got Olivia's voicemail for a third time in a row and hung up frustrated. Why wasn't she answering? He called a fourth time and it went straight to voicemail, which means she had turned her phone off. What the hell? Olivia always had her phone on. He wondered if he should be worried, and started to think about driving over to her apartment, when he was interrupted by one of the kids.

"Can we go get a slice of pizza?" Dick asked. "I'm hungry."

"You're always hungry" said Liz.

Elliot smiled at them both. "Sure, let's go." He would have to follow up on Olivia later.


	3. Chapter 3

Olivia and Adam walked into the small coffee shop and Olivia was surprised that she had never been there before.

"How do you know about this place?" she asked. "I've lived in New York my whole life and I've never heard of it.

"I had to do some homework to decide where to take you." he said. "I've only been in town a few months, but I found that Italian place through them and I've been there several times. So I trust them to recommend good places. They all recommended this one, but I've only been here once." He gestured towards a small table for two. "Why don't you tell me what you want and I'll go up and order."

Olivia sat down and looked over at the menu board. "I really don't want any dessert." She hesitated a moment. She really didn't want any coffee either; especially this late at night. But she didn't want to be rude and watch him drink coffee and eat dessert. "How about just a small black coffee." she said.

"No dessert? Really?" he smiled. "Are you sure about that? I'm not going to judge you. I have quite a sweet tooth."

"No, I'm really full. Coffee will be just fine."

"OK, but I'll get two forks." he said as he walked towards the counter.

Olivia watched as he walked up the counter and ordered their coffee and dessert. She was trying to decide how she felt about the evening so far. Adam was a nice enough guy. The evening had been pleasant, and she'd learned a lot about him. He had asked too many unpleasant questions of her, but honestly, how was he supposed to know all of the topics that were off-limits? That her life was littered with landmines; things she'd rather keep under wraps. She smiled thinking that if she had answered all of his questions with complete honesty, he probably would have gone screaming into the night.

He turned around at that moment and smiled at her, holding up a finger to let her know that he'd be back in a minute. She smiled back, assessing him once again. He was certainly good looking, as the woman taking their order would most certainly attest to, but she wasn't certain if she was attracted to him. She sighed deeply, knowing that her ability to be attracted to anyone else would always be hindered by her feelings for Elliot. She just had to learn to put that aside, and give Adam a chance. He certainly seemed to be enjoying the evening; she would know for sure if he asked her out again.

Adam had gotten their coffee and what looked like a rather large piece of cheesecake. He threaded his way back through the crowded tables balancing it all, and Olivia reached up and took the plate when he got close enough.

"Thank you." he said. "I thought for sure I was going to embarrass myself by dumping all of that on the floor or on myself." He sat back down and handed her a fork. "Can I tempt you?" he said, wiggling his eyebrows at her and Olivia blanched slightly. Elliot always wiggled his eyebrows at her when he made a joke; she wasn't sure she wanted Adam doing something that reminded her of Elliot. She recovered quickly, smiling as she took the fork from him.

"I might have a small bite."

They sipped their coffee and shared the dessert; Olivia had a few more bites than she had planned but it was really good.

"So, I know this is kind of quick… but would you like to go out again sometime?" Adam asked and Olivia could hear a little waver in his voice. She smiled inwardly, knowing how hard it must be to be the one asking. She didn't hesitate when she answered.

"I'd like that." She was rewarded with a big smile from Adam.

She was resting one hand on the table and Adam reached over and placed his hand over hers. "So…is tomorrow night too soon?" He asked, raising his eyebrows slightly in anticipation of her answer.

Olivia hesitated a second. She had made plans with Elliot, but if she was really going to get over him, maybe she should cancel in favor of going out with Adam again. She bit her bottom lip, trying to decide what to do, but realized she must have hesitated too long when he pulled his hand back.

"Sorry, I didn't meant to push." he said.

"No. It's not that. I have plans with some friends." In her mind she thought 'a friend'. "And I was just trying to decide if I could ditch them, but I really can't." Adam looked disappointed. "But I'm free on Sunday." she said, and Adam smiled back at her.

"Sunday it is." He pointed to the last bite of cheesecake. "Do you want the last bite?"

"No." Olivia said, shaking her head.

"OK." He said as he lifted the last bite to his mouth. "What do you want to do on Sunday?" he asked.

"I really don't care. Remember, I've lived here my whole life. What do you want to do?" she asked.

"How about we spend the afternoon in Central Park? You can show me around." he said. "Do you spend a lot of time there?"

"More than you know." she said, thinking about how many sex crimes took place there. "But not on a beautiful June day, so it sounds like fun." Olivia finished the last of her coffee.

"Ready to go?" asked Adam and Olivia nodded. They walked out of the coffee shop and started strolling down the street. Olivia looped her arm through Adam's again, and he grabbed her hand with his. "Olivia, I had a really good time with you tonight. I mean it."

"I did too." She laughed. "I mean it." she joked and had laughed with her.

"Can I see you home?" he asked as they approached a line of cabs.

Olivia hesitated. "Adam, please don't take it personally, but I've been a cop too long and I've seen to many things. I don't let anyone know where I live until we get to know each other a little better."

"Olivia, do you think I'm some kind of crazy stalker or something?" He stopped and turned to face her. "I'm not. I just want to make sure you get home OK."

"All stalkers say they're not stalkers Adam." she said and he frowned. "It was a joke." she said quickly. "But you forget that I _am_ a cop. I'm trained in self-defense and I'm armed. I can get home safely. I do it every day."

"You're armed? On a date?" he asked incredulously. He scanned her body quickly, as if looking for a weapon and Olivia blushed slightly as she thought of him thinking of places she could hide one.

"It's in my purse." she said and he looked up at her.

"Oh." He said, meeting her eyes again. "So does that mean you're going to meet me at Central Park?" he asked.

She smiled and nodded. "Yes, it does. I'm sorry, but that's just how it is."

"So how long before I pass the test and get to pick you up at home?" he asked.

Olivia shrugged. "There's no specific time table." she said with a small laugh. "We'll see how things go on Sunday." Olivia shuddered slightly; the evening air had cooled down and she was slightly cold.

Adam put his hands her upper arms and rubbed his hands up and down lightly, startling Olivia a little. "Are you cold? Do you want my jacket?" He dropped his hands and started to take off his jacket.

Olivia stopped him by putting a hand on his arm. "I'm fine. I'm just getting into a cab anyway."

"It's fine." he said, shrugging it off. "I'd feel better if you took it." He pulled it off completely and stepped a little closer to Olivia, wrapping it around her shoulders.

Olivia looked into his eyes as he did so, and almost took a step back when he invaded her personal space. She swallowed hard as he wrapped his jacket around her, thoughts of Elliot popping into her head. She bit her bottom lip and Adam hesitated, looking at her, almost asking for permission to kiss her. She knew if she waited another few seconds, he would step back. She took in a breath and shoved Elliot from her mind. She leaned in slightly and kissed Adam gently on the lips. She pulled back and he smiled. He put his hands on her hips and leaned in for another kiss; this one a little harder than the gentle kiss she had given him. She kissed him back; he lips tasting like coffee and cheesecake. It was sweet and gentle and when she pulled back, he stepped back and smiled at her.

He took her arm and led her to a cab, opening the door for her. She pulled away to step into the cab, but he held her arm briefly. He leaned in and gave her another gentle kiss.

"Good night Olivia." he said, and then he let her arm go.

She got into the cab. "Good night Adam." she said as he shut the door and the cab took off.

Olivia let out a big sigh as the cab pulled away. She had a million thoughts and emotions running through her mind as she drove home. She tried to think about Adam, and how nice the evening had been. Olivia had run the gamut when it came to relationships, from one night stands to longer term relationships, but the one constant had typically been that she was in control. So she had been a little surprised at Adam's level of comfort with her; how many times he had reached for her hand, when he had rubbed his hands up and down her arms, and when he had wrapped his coat around her, standing close enough to kiss. Maybe that's why she had kissed him first; to maintain that control. Kiss him before he kissed her. But then he had surprised her by moving in for another kiss and another before she got in the cab. She put her fingers to her lips. The kisses had been nice, but she hadn't felt any spark…

Olivia sighed and leaned against the back of the cab. Almost as soon as she had done that, they pulled up in front of her apartment. She paid the cabdriver and got out, letting herself into her building and then into her apartment. She dropped her stuff on the small table in the foyer and headed into the bedroom to change. When she was in her pajama bottoms and a tank, she headed back to the kitchen for a bottle of water. She remembered her phone was off, so she retrieved it from her purse and turned it back on. She saw four missed calls from Elliot, and several text messages. She also had a text message from Adam. She ignored the messages from Elliot and thumbed open the one from Adam.

It read. Thanks for a great evening. Please let me know you got home OK.

She smiled. What was it with men and their need to protect her? She was the one that was armed for god's sake. She hit REPLY and sent a message back. I'm home safe and sound. Thanks for dinner. I had a great time. See you Sunday. She hit SEND and closed the phone. She was tempted to look at the messages from Elliot, but decided that would wait until tomorrow. She was sure they were going to get her riled up; text messages laced with anger about why she wasn't answering. She would deal with those in the morning. She set her phone on her nightstand and crawled into bed.

 _ **I hope you're still enjoying the story. Please review! I like to hear what you're thinking.**_


	4. Chapter 4

Olivia woke up to a ringing phone and she groaned as she rolled over and looked at the clock. She saw it was 9AM, and she couldn't believe she had slept that late. She grabbed the phone and answered it.

"Benson."

"Liv. It's Casey. Are you still meeting me at the gym?" she asked.

Olivia groaned. She had forgotten about their plan to meet.

"Are you still _sleeping_?" asked Casey. Olivia rarely slept in, so Casey was surprised that she had caught her friend in bed.

"Yeah. But I'm going to meet you. 10, right?" Olivia mumbled into the phone, rubbing her hand over her eyes.

"Are you sick?" Casey asked, still surprised that Olivia was still in bed.

"No! I'm not sick. I just slept in. Give me a break."

"Late night?" Casey continued to pry. "Oh my God, is someone there? Did you bring someone home last night?" Casey and Olivia were good friends, and Casey knew that Olivia wasn't immune to an occasional one night stand. "Or are you seeing someone and not telling me?"

Olivia groaned. She loved Casey but she had an active imagination and sometimes she could have entire conversations by herself. "Case. Stop. I didn't bring him home with me."

"Him? You did had a date?! Who was it? Is it anyone I know?"

"Casey. I'm going to get up now and I'll meet you at the gym at 10." Olivia hung up the phone and climbed out of bed. She wasn't worried about Casey. They were good friends, and while Casey was outspoken and nosy, she kept information to herself. She wasn't a gossip and if you didn't want her to tell anyone, she wouldn't.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

The minute she got to the gym, Casey started pumping her for information and Olivia told her about how she met Adam and their subsequent date. They were working out on the elliptical, so they could still talk.

"Does Elliot know you're dating his doctor?"

"Adam is not his doctor Casey. He just treated him the emergency room."

"OK, does Elliot know you have a new boyfriend?" Casey asked.

"I don't have a new boyfriend Casey." Olivia said in an exasperated voice. "It was one date."

"You're not answering my question." Casey said pointedly. "So I assume that means 'no'."

"Elliot doesn't know everything about me Casey." Casey rolled her eyes and Olivia caught it. "What was that for?"

Casey shook her head. "Nothing." She knew better than to try to tell Olivia anything about Elliot. The two of them were so deep in denial, it was insane. Everyone around them saw what they refused to acknowledge. Casey had been really surprised when the two of them hadn't gotten together after Elliot's separation. She pointed it out to Olivia often, but Olivia always deflected the comments.

"Casey." Olivia said. She knew what Casey was hinting at. "I can have a private life."

"I didn't say anything." Casey paused and took a drink from her water bottle. "But if you think you're going to be able to keep a boyfriend a secret from him, you're crazy. You two can't keep anything from each other."

Now it was Olivia's turn to roll her eyes. "We have things we don't tell each other Casey."

Casey laughed. "Yeah Liv." She laughed because she knew the only thing they really kept from each other is how they really felt. "Whatever."

They were both quiet for a while. They finished up their workout and grabbed a smoothie at the juice bar. Casey piped up again. "So when are you going to see this guy again?"

Olivia smiled. "Tomorrow."

"Wow, that's fast."

Olivia shrugged. "He's a nice guy…."

"He's not Elliot."

Olivia shot her a dark look. "Drop it Casey. Elliot and I are partners and nothing more."

Casey held up her hands. "OK. Sorry Liv." She knew she had pushed Olivia too much. "Don't be mad."

Olivia sighed. "I'm not mad Casey." She knew that her relationship with Elliot was confusing to other people. Hell, it was confusing to her. But sometimes she just needed people to back off. "I have to go. I've got some errands to run." She stood up and grabbed her bad. "I'll talk to you later."

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia pulled out her phone and checked her messages. She remembered that she hadn't checked her messages from Elliot. She saw now that she had two new messages from him. She read through them and they were about what she expected. The first ones were just wondering what she was up to, but they ratcheted up to wondering why she wasn't answering and finally please to let him know she was OK. She flipped open her phone and dialed hit #1 on speed dial.

"Jesus Liv. Where've you been? I've been worried sick about you." Elliot said when he answered the phone.

"Hi to you too El." Olivia said, ignoring his ranting.

"Liv. What the hell?"

"Elliot. Calm down. I'm fine."

"Liv. I've been trying to reach you since last night. Why did you have your phone off? You never have your phone off. Why are you avoiding me?"

"Elliot. I'm not avoiding you. I turned my phone off and then I forgot to turn it back on. I just got out of the gym and remembered that I hadn't checked my message. I called you right away."

"Why did you turn your phone off?" Elliot asked, still sounding pissed off.

"I just wanted some peace and quiet. I wasn't on call." Olivia was getting annoyed. "El, I'm not one of your daughters. Quit grilling me."

Elliot let out a huge sigh. He was still annoyed with her but he also knew if he pushed her any more, she would hang up on him.

"Fine. I just wanted to know that you're OK."

"Well, now you know." She was on the steps to the subway station. "I'm headed down into the subway, so I might lose you."

He sighed again. He was really upset with her but he had to let it go. "Are we still on for tonight?"

"Yes El. I'll see you at 7. Gotta go." she said, hanging up. She was irritated with him questioning her, but only because she knew he was right. She would be livid if he did that to her. She ran her hand through her hair and sighed. What the hell was she doing? She was trying to move forward, with Elliot as her partner and her friend. Nothing more. But she shouldn't have ignored him. Sometimes she just got so frustrated with his overbearing nature, especially when it came to her.

She got to her subway stop and walked a few blocks to her apartment. She jumped in the shower and opted for something casual. She put on some dark gray leggings, a white t-shirt and a light grey, V-neck sweater that went down past her hips. She spent the rest of the day cleaning up her apartment, doing laundry and paying bills. By the time Elliot got there, she was feeling better about everything, and was looking forward to seeing Elliot. He was her best friend after all…

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot was looking forward to seeing Olivia. He was mad at her for not answering his messages, but he had to let it go. He wanted to enjoy this evening with her. He loved to spend time with Olivia away from the office. In the squad room, she was all business. Being a woman in the unit was hard, and she worked extra hard to be tough and proficient at her job. With the exception of her demeanor with victims, she could hold her own with any of the men in the squad, and they had a healthy respect for her. She had earned the nickname Badass Benson, although no one would dare call her that. But they all loved her to death, and would do anything for her. Olivia was the heart of SVU.

But outside of work, Elliot got to see a little of the feminine side of Olivia. She was a little 'softer'; just a little more vulnerable. And sometimes he was awed by this softer side. She smiled more and laughed more easily. He loved spending that time with her and it was during these times that he realized how much he loved her. Totally and completely loved her. He wasn't sure how she felt; he always hoped she felt the same way. But she never let him see it; he was never quite sure. And he was scared to tell her how he felt. Olivia wasn't really good at emotional intimacy. She never wanted to depend on anyone. And he didn't want to lose his partner He was afraid that if he was honest with her, she would run and he would lose her. So he waited and he watched for any sign that she wanted him to take things further. So far, he hadn't seen it. Bu he was waiting. He would wait forever if he had to…just to keep her by his side.

He knocked on her door just a little before 7. He had two food bags in one hand and a bottle of wine and a six pack of beer in the other, so he knock was somewhat muffled. When she didn't answer, he kicked the door lightly with his shoe. "Liv!"

"I'm coming! Hold on." Olivia said, pulling the door open quickly. "You don't have to kick the door in." She saw a big grin on his face and she paused, laughing at how comical he looked trying to balance everything.

"What did you bring?" she asked, taking the bags out of his hand.

"I didn't get a chance to ask you and I didn't know what you were in the mood for so I brought a little of everything."

Olivia knew he was referring to the fact that she hadn't answered his messages, but she ignored him.

"So I got Chinese and I got some ice cream." He kicked the door closed behind him and walked into the kitchen. "And I got beer and wine."

"Did you get a movie?" Olivia asked.

Elliot looked at her, furrowing her brow. "It's your house. You're supposed to get the movie." He opened the refrigerator and placed the six pack of beer inside. "Do I have to do _everything_?"

Olivia was glad to see he was in a good mood. She wasn't sure how he was going to act towards her when he showed up, since she knew he had been angry with her this morning.

"Yeah, I guess I dropped the ball. We'll have to watch something I already have or find something on TV."

Elliot groaned. "We've watched the movies you have so many times Liv…seriously. I'm not watching any of those again." He opened a beer and took a swig. He leaned against the counter as she started taking the Chinese food out of the bags. "You've got one job…"

Olivia rolled her eyes at him, and threw a fortune cookie at him. "You'll survive."

She pulled some plates down from the cupboard and they carried the food into the living room and settled on the couch. Elliot had brought a second beer in for himself, but Olivia nabbed it and took a big swig.

"Hey, that's my beer!" Elliot reached for the bottle but she pulled back and he missed, nearly toppling into her. Olivia took another big swig, nearly finishing it off.

"Oh, sorry." she said, handing the near empty bottle back to him. "I didn't realize it was yours." She laughed as Elliot put the near empty bottle on the coffee table. He grabbed her feet and pulled her towards him.

"You're going to pay for that Benson." Elliot started tickling her feet and Olivia was kicking and twisting, trying to get away from him, laughing as he continued the torture.

"El. Stop!" she said, gasping in between her laughs. She twisted hard and he let go, inadvertently letting her drop to the ground with a loud oomph. She let out a groan as she face planted into the carpet.

"Liv!" Elliot jumped up from the couch. "Liv. I'm sorry." He reached down and plucked her up off the ground, his hands on her waist. "Are you OK?" He set her on her feet and turned her around, and he could see she was still laughing, but holding her nose.

"I'm fine El. Does my nose look broken?" She tipped her face towards his and he leaned over as if to inspect it.

"It looks fine to me" he said, placing a gentle kiss on her nose.

Olivia gasped slightly. She hadn't expected that. She laughed uncomfortably and took a step back. "I'll get you another beer." she said, dodging into the kitchen before he could say anything. She took her time getting two beers, and opening them; she was trying hard not to read too much into Elliot's actions. But they never did stuff like that and she couldn't for the life of her, think of why he would do something like that now. 'Get a grip Benson' she told herself. They were just goofing off; why was she making such a big deal of it? She had always tried to over analyze every little thing Elliot said or did, trying to find hidden meaning. She had to stop that. She grabbed the two beers and headed back into the living room.

Elliot was sitting back on the couch, eating his food. He knew he had startled her when he had given her that little kiss on her nose; he honestly didn't know why he even did it. He looked up when she walked in and smiled. He loved seeing her like this. She looked amazing in her casual clothes. The leggings accentuated her long legs, and her sweater hugged her curves. Her hair was loose and wavy, and she wasn't wearing any make-up. She was absolutely stunning.

Olivia noticed Elliot staring at her. "What now?" she asked.

Elliot smiled. "Nothing. Just making sure your nose was OK."

"It's fine. It was my own fault." She plopped down on the couch and handed him a beer.

"Did you pick a movie?

"I told you Liv. I'm not watching anything you've got here." Elliot said, a serious expression on his face. "I don't want to watch another romantic comedy." He ate the last bite of his dinner. "Finish up and we're going to go down the block and pick a new movie. Together."

"You're so bossy Stabler." She ate a few more bites and noticed Elliot was opening his fortune cookie. It was a ritual for them to open them together. "Hold on. I have to get mine." She looked around but couldn't find hers. Then she remembered throwing one at him in the kitchen. She scrambled up and went into the kitchen, finding it on the counter. She walked back in and saw Elliot was already opening his. She opened hers and looked at him expectantly.

"Well, what does your say?" she asked.

Elliot got a mischievous look on his face. "It says GOOD THINGS COME TO THOSE WHO WAIT". He wiggled his eyebrows at her, and it reminded her of that moment with Adam last night. "What does yours say?"

She unfolded the little piece of paper. She read it quickly. "It says SOMETIMES YOUR PARTNER IS A PAIN IN THE ASS."

"Very funny Liv." Elliot laughed. "What does it really say?"

"It's dumb. It says YOU ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS LINGERING INSIDE YOUR HEAD. What the hell does that mean?" She threw the fortune down on the table, appearing to dismiss it, but in reality, it shook her a little. "Let's go to the store." She headed to the closet to get some shoes. She slipped them on as Elliot got up and headed to the door.

"What kinds of questions do you have in your head?" Elliot teased as they walked down the stairs to the lobby.

Olivia wasn't going to be baited into this conversation. "I'm wondering why my partner is such a pain in the ass." she said, slamming out the front door and heading towards the store, leaving Elliot to jog a little to catch up.

 _ **I hope you're still enjoying the story. Please review! I like to hear what you're thinking.**_


	5. Chapter 5

It was a beautiful evening out, and Olivia was enjoying the walk to the store. Elliot was walking close to her, and she almost wanted to reach out and take his hand. She looked up at him and could see that he was watching her, almost as if he could read her thoughts. She looked away quickly.

"So what kind of movie do you want to watch?" she asked, know what he was going to say. "And don't say horror." She hated horror movies.

"Horror."

"You know I don't like horror movies. Why do you always want to watch those?" she asked.

"Because I like how you curl up next to me when you're scared." he said teasingly, but it hit a little too close to home for Olivia. The fact was that she _did_ curl up next to him when they watched a horror movie. She took that excuse to melt into his hard body and inhale the scent of him; and now he had called her on it.

"Whatever Stabler." she said in a tone that let him know she wasn't going to bite. "We're going to pick a murder mystery or something like that. I can handle that."

They got to the store a few blocks away and finally agreed on a movie. On the way back to Olivia's apartment, Elliot's phone rang. He pulled it out and groaned. "I have to get this." The stopped and stepped off to the side to get out of the way of other pedestrians, and Olivia took a few steps away to give him some privacy.

"Yeah Kath." Elliot answered. He was listening to whatever was being said on the other end and Olivia could tell he was getting irritated. "What?!" he said loudly. "Kathy…" He was listening again. "No, I'm home." Olivia overheard him and gave him a look, annoyed that he was lying to Kathy about being with her. Annoyed but not surprised. "Yeah, I'll take care of it." He hung up the phone and looked over at Olivia. "Liv…"

Olivia shook her head. "You're canceling our plans." she said. It was more of a statement that a question. She was so done with him and his on-again, off-again relationship with his wife. "What does she need now? Lightbulb need changing?" She knew she sounded like a bitch; a jealous bitch, but she couldn't help it. It was more of the fact that he felt like he felt had to lie about where he was that annoyed her. She and Elliot had never crossed that line; she had done more to save their marriage than he had sometimes. And yet she knew that Kathy never believed they weren't having an affair. And it pissed her off because why had she been so virtuous, so righteous? If she was going to get blamed for ending their marriage, she should have gotten a good fuck out of it.

Elliot scowled at her. He had an idea of what she was thinking. "Liv. This is about Dick. Liz came home from a party and said Dick was there and that he was drinking heavily and that she couldn't get him to leave. Kathy's worried about him and wants me to go pick him up before he gets in trouble. She can't handle him anymore, especially if he's drunk."

Olivia's face softened a little. If he was anything, Elliot was a good father. A good father who felt like he had never been there enough for his kids. "I understand El."

"I'm sorry Liv." He looked at his watch and saw it was almost 9. How on Earth did Dick get so drunk so early in the evening? "I'm not sure how long this is going to take, but I imagine it might take a couple of hours. I have to drive out to Queens…"

Olivia interrupted him. "Go take care of your kids El. It's fine."

"Maybe when I'm done, I could stop back." Elliot said hopefully. He really wanted to spend more of the evening with her.

Olivia just looked at him, hesitating. "You know, it'll probably be really late. Too late to watch a movie." Elliot looked disappointed so she added. "Just text me when you're done and I'll see how tired I am, OK?"

Elliot nodded. "OK. Sounds good." The headed back to Olivia's and Elliot came up to get his keys. He headed for the door and looked back at her sitting on the couch, the carton of ice cream in her hand. "Sorry Liv." He sighed and headed out the door. "Lock the door behind me." he said, and Olivia rolled her eyes and smiled at him.

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia finished off half the carton of ice cream and put it back in the freezer. She had watched a comedy on TV, but was getting pretty tired. She looked at her watch and saw it was almost 10:30. She wondered where Elliot was right now. Probably back at his house; his old house; talking to Dick and Kathy. She pulled out her phone and checked her messages. She wasn't surprised to see she didn't have any. She thumbed open her messaging and pulled up Adam's number. She hesitated a moment before she started typing, not certain if this was a good idea. But she kept typing anyway. 'Hey. Just checking in. What time are we meeting tomorrow?' She hit SEND before she could change her mind. She wasn't going to change her mind about tomorrow, but she didn't know if she wanted to be the one to initiate contact with him, especially on a night she was supposed to have plans. She didn't want to appear needy.

It took less than a minute to get a message back and she smiled. She read the message. 'Hey yourself. You tell me what time works for you. Thought you had plans tonight?'

Olivia hit REPLY. 'I do have plans. Just wanted to check in. How about 1?' She hit SEND.

She got a response immediately. '1 is perfect. Can't wait to see you. Good night.'

Olivia smiled. 'Good night' She closed her messaging app and snuggled down on the couch, pulling a blanket over her and turning back to the movie on TV. She woke up to hear her phone buzzing and she looked at the time. It was a little after 11, and she realized she had fallen asleep. The message was from Elliot. 'Headed back. 30 minutes out. Still up?'

Olivia wiped the sleep from her eyes. She would love to have him come back, but she knew she wouldn't be able to stay awake. She hit REPLY. 'Sorry El. I fell asleep. Going to bed. Hope everything is OK. See you Monday' She hit SEND.

She didn't get a reply for a few minutes and she checked to make sure her message had gone through. She saw that it had, and just then, a reply came back. 'Sorry to hear that. I understand. Sorry about tonight. Good night'. She sighed and hit REPLY again. 'Good night El' She hit SEND, got up from the couch and turned out the lights, heading to bed.

EOEOEOEOEO

When Olivia woke up the next morning, it was raining and she groaned. So much for a beautiful summer day in Central Park. She got up and looked out the window. It was really socked in, and she didn't think it was going to clear up anytime soon. She looked at the time and saw it was only 7. She looked back at her warm bed, and couldn't resist climbing back in. She pulled the covers up and fell back asleep.

Olivia woke up to hear someone pounding on her door. She sat up and looked at the clock, wiping sleep from her eyes. She saw it was 9AM, and once again, couldn't believe she had slept so late. She stood up and headed for the door, hearing another knock. She looked through the peephole and saw Elliot standing there with a bakery bag and two coffees and a big smile. She opened the door.

"Good morning." he said, moving past her as she stood at the door. He took in her messy hair and the sleepy look on her face. "Were you still in bed?" he asked with surprise.

"El, what are you doing here?" she asked.

"I thought I'd make up for last night." he said, setting the stuff down on the counter and turning around to look at her. He leaned back against the counter, taking in her appearance. She had pajama shorts on and a dark blue tank top, but the tank top had ridden up showing a generous stretch of her stomach and her breasts were straining the fabric at the top. Her hair was messy and her expression still dazed from sleep, and he felt his stomach do small flips.

Olivia noticed him taking her in, and she crossed her arms over her breasts, feeling self-conscious. "Well, that's nice. But it wasn't necessary."

"It's the last I could do." he said, opening up the bakery bag.

Olivia nodded her head towards the bedroom. "I'm going to go put some clothes on." she said.

Elliot lifted a brow. "Don't have to on my account." he said, and gave her a little wink.

Olivia shot him a dirty look as she turned and went to the bedroom to grab some leggings and a sweatshirt, but inside she felt her stomach drop a little. Was Elliot flirting with her? She sighed. This was all so damned complicated. She whipped off her pajama shorts and pulled on her leggings from the previous night. She grabbed a hoodie and zipped it up over her tank top and walked back into the living room. Elliot had made himself at home on the couch, and had put the muffins he had brought on a plate. As she sat down, he handed her the coffee he had brought.

"Thanks El." Olivia took a sip, and was happy to see the coffee was still hot. "Be careful or you're going to spoil me." she teased. "And then I'll expect breakfast and coffee every morning."

He raised an eyebrow at her. "Liv, I _do_ get you breakfast and coffee almost every morning."

Olivia smiled. "I know, but not on the weekends." The moment those words were out of her mouth, she knew she shouldn't have said it. It implied something she didn't intend…or at least didn't intend to explore on this Sunday morning. And she wasn't sure how Elliot was going to interpret it. Of course, he interpreted exactly how she thought he would.

"Are you saying you want me to stay here with you on the weekends so I can make you breakfast?" He wiggled his eyebrows at her. "Because that could be arranged." he said, taking a bite of his muffin.

Olivia debated what to say next. This could easily turn into a discussion she wasn't prepared to have. It was almost as if Elliot was looking for an opening. But then she remembered her resolve; that she was going to get past her feelings and move on. He was just teasing and didn't really mean anything by it; he hadn't done anything to change their relationship and she had to recognize that this was just more of his continued flirting. And if he wanted to flirt and tease without taking it to the next level, she could give as well as she could get…just as long as it didn't get too out of hand.

She smiled with a devilish little smile and leaned towards him. She lowered her tone and said. "I'd love to invite you to sleep over El…" she noted Elliot was listening with interest. "But you always tell me how uncomfortable my couch is and I don't want you to hurt your back." She leaned back, noticing as his eyes narrowed. She smiled innocently back at him, and took a bite of her muffin.

Elliot leaned back and sighed. He liked flirting with Olivia and she flirted back, but somehow it never went to the next level. He looked over at her, and knew this wasn't the time or the place. He had told himself he would wait for her to give some indication that she wanted him to make a move, but she hadn't and he had to decide how to handle that. He had told himself he would be patient…but he didn't know how much longer he could do that.

"EL?"

Elliot brought his attention back to her and realized she must have been saying something. "Huh?"

"I asked what happened last night. If everything was OK."

"Oh, sorry. Yeah." And he launched into details of what happened with Dick the previous night. But as he was telling her the story, he was watching her and enjoying this comfortable companionship they shared. He could envision waking up with her every day and sharing coffee and breakfast and he knew he had to figure out how to make that happen.

 _ **I hope you're still enjoying the story. Please review! I like to hear what you're thinking.**_


	6. Chapter 6

_Hi! I am reposting this chapter because for some reason, only a part of it posted last night._

Olivia settled back on the couch, finishing her muffin and enjoying the coffee.

"Why does take-out coffee always taste so much better than coffee I can make at home?" she asked, running her finger lazily over the top of the cup. She leaned her head against the back of the couch and yawned. She looked over at Elliot; her head still back against the couch, and saw that he was watching her. She couldn't identify the look on his face and it surprised her. She thought she had seen every side of him; every mood. She watched as he moved his arm up, resting it on the back of the couch. His fingers rested close to her cheek, and she watched as he moved them slowly back and forth, almost as if he was caressing the couch. She watched, somewhat mesmerized by the action as he moved them back and forth, and she found herself wishing he would reach out and touch her. Caress her cheek; run his fingers through her hair. Her breath hitched slightly when he stopped and lifted them off the couch, wondering if he had read her thoughts. She moved her eyes from his hand back to his eyes, and saw a slight smile there. Maybe he _had_ read her thoughts. She bit her bottom lip, wondering if he was going to say something.

"You must really be tired. I thought I was going to hypnotize you for a moment."

Olivia furrowed her brow. That wasn't what she was expecting from him, especially with the flirting that had been going on since he got there. "I shouldn't be tired. Someone stood me up last night so I went to bed early." She lifted her head and pulled one leg out from underneath her, poking her toes into his thigh. He grabbed her ankle and stilled her leg, keeping his hand on her ankle. "Rainy days just make me lazy. If I don't have to go out, I'd rather not."

Elliot was running his thumb back and forth on her ankle; Olivia didn't think he even knew he was doing it. He smiled at her. "Lazy, huh? Well, we could watch the movie we picked out last night. I don't have any plans today."

Olivia pressed her lips together when he mentioned he didn't have any plans. Damn it. She had plans today. And now she was torn, because she really would have liked to spend the day lounging around with Elliot. But she had made plans with Adam. And she wouldn't break them; she had to see what was going to happen with Adam…she had to keep moving forward. But how was she going to get Elliot out of her apartment so she could meet Adam? She did not want to tell him she had a date.

"That would be great El, but I have plans." She was hoping he wouldn't press her on the details. "I'd get out of them if I could because staying in sounds so much better." She smiled back at him and leaned her head back against the couch. She was feeling particularly lazy today; she could have gone back to bed right now.

"Cancel them. You can always go shopping with Casey some other day." He raised an eyebrow at her.

"I'm not going to cancel El. That's rude." She didn't correct the assumption he made regarding her plans. She loved that he thought that if she wasn't with him, she was with Casey or Alex. That worked in her favor right now.

Elliot ran his hand up and down the lower part of her shin. "If you cancel, you can stay right here. I'll even throw in a foot massage." He moved his hand down to her foot, tugging her closer. Olivia untucked her other leg and stretched it out, and Elliot tugged her a little harder, causing her to fall back on the couch so that she was lying down. Elliot started massaging her foot and Olivia sighed.

"El. That feels wonderful." She closed her eyes. As he continued to massage her foot, Olivia let out a small moan, and she considered canceling on Adam right then and there. She knew Elliot had strong hands, but this was ridiculous. She felt her whole body relax, and her mind wandered to thoughts of Elliot's hands on her body, massaging her breasts, running his hands down her stomach, between her legs. She let out another low moan.

When Elliot heard her moan, he felt a jolt run through his body; a rush of heat to his groin. He looked over at her and saw her head was thrown back and her eyes were closed and he paused. Unbidden images flooded his brain…the low guttural tone made him wonder what she would sound during sex; her head thrown back as it was now, coming hard.

Olivia felt him pause; his hands tense, and she opened her eyes, embarrassed by her behavior. She pulled her feet out of his lap and pulled herself back to a sitting position.

"I guess I haven't had a foot massage in a while." she tried joking, but the tone of her voice was off and she got a strange look from Elliot. She realized belatedly that he was taking her statement as a euphemism, basically letting him know she hadn't had sex in a while. Now she was really embarrassed.

She got up from the couch, and grabbed the plate and her empty coffee cup. She walked into the kitchen and set them down on the counter. She leaned against the counter, trying to steady her breathing. She didn't know what her problem was. She was supposed to be working on her _friendship_ with Elliot. Not imagining his hands on her body. She shook her head, trying to clear those thoughts.

Elliot took a few minutes to calm himself down. Those moans of hers had gone to his groin and then she had basically told him that she hadn't had sex in a while and that only made it worse. After a few minutes, he walked into the kitchen.

Olivia was startled when Elliot walked into the kitchen. She hadn't even heard him. He set his cup down on the counter.

She gave him a thin lipped smile and Elliot could tell she was still bothered. He was wondering if that foot massage had really gotten her that riled up. He smiled a little; he liked the idea that he could affect her like that. Especially since she had affected him too.

Olivia watched the expression on Elliot's face. She knew he could tell he had shaken her and it pissed her off. He already had a big enough ego, and she didn't want to give him any more ammunition.

"Last chance." he said.

"Sorry." she sighed. "Rain check?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "We'll see. I might be busy." he teased.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "I'll take my chances." she said, moving away from the counter. "Now get out." she said, pushing him lightly towards the door. "I have to get moving."

"I'm going. Don't be so pushy." he said, heading for the door. He turned back before he walked out. "Should I pick you up tomorrow morning?"

Olivia shrugged. "Sounds good." Elliot turned back around to head out the door when he heard her call out after him. "And tomorrow I'd like a bran muffin."

Olivia looked at the time after Elliot left, and saw it was a little after 10. She walked over to the window to see if the weather was clearing at all. It was still pouring rain. She walked into her bedroom and picked up her phone. She didn't have any messages. She wondered if it was too early to call Adam to see what Plan B was going to be; she decided it was. She headed to the bathroom to take a shower. She would call him later.

EOEOEOEO

When Olivia got out of the shower, she dried her hair and pulled on some clean leggings and a sweatshirt. She picked up her phone and saw that she had a missed call and a voicemail from Adam.

' _Hi Olivia. It's Adam_.' She smiled at that because of course, she already knew that. ' _I guess our day in Central Park is ruined, so I called to see what you want to do. We can go to a movie, or to a museum, or to a play. Whatever you want._ ' He hesitated a beat in his message. ' _Or…um…well sometimes on rainy days I just like to stay in, so if you want to come over here, we could watch some movies and I'll make dinner for you_.' He rambled and she could hear the nerves in his voice. ' _But I don't want you to think that I'm…well, I mean I understand if you don't want to do that so it's up to_ ' The message cut off then. She didn't know if he had reached his time limit for the message or if he had accidentally hung up. She sat down on the bed and let out a sigh through pursed lips. Then she smiled because he sounded so damn nervous in his message and that was so sweet. Spending the day inside watching movies and having a home cooked meal sounded right up her alley. But she wasn't quite sure if it was a good idea to go to his apartment. She didn't really know him that well, and she didn't know what she would be implying by agreeing to go to his apartment on their 2nd date. This was reason #56 on the list of reasons she hated dating. It was just so complicated. This constant guessing at what the other person was thinking. She laughed inwardly. She guessed that meant she and Elliot had been dating for years.

She looked back down at her phone and hit CALL BACK from the voicemail message. Adam answered on the second ring.

"Hi." he said, his voice sounding like he was slightly out of breath.

"Hi. Did I interrupt something." she asked.

"No. No." he said, leaving Olivia to wonder what he'd been doing. "Did you get my message?" he continued.

"Yes." she laughed. "I'm glad to know that someone else is as lazy as me on a rainy day."

"So you want to come over?" he asked.

Olivia shifted uncomfortably on the bed. She had decided she wasn't going to do that, but frankly, nothing else sounded interesting to her today. "Well, that depends…"

"Olivia. I know it's kind of odd and I understand if you don't want to come over. I really do. And I just want you to know that just because you come over doesn't mean I'm expecting…"

Olivia cut him off. She didn't know him well enough to have this conversation with him. "I know Adam. I'm just trying to decide what I feel like doing." She looked out the window at the rain. She really didn't want to go out. She made a quick decision, realizing that if they were going to have a day just lounging around, she'd be more comfortable at her place. "How about if you come over here and we'll order in?"

"Are you sure?" she heard the skepticism in his voice. "I thought you didn't want me to know where you live."

She laughed. "Yeah, well I guess you're harmless enough. Just remember, I'm armed and trained in self-defense." And while she was teasing him, there was a part of her that wanted to remind him.

"OK. That sounds great Olivia. What should I bring?"

Olivia realized she didn't really have anything to drink in her apartment. "Um. I just have some beer and water and tea, so if you want anything else to drink, you could bring that. And I don't have anything to snack on." She paused, looking around. Her eyes landed on the movie she had picked out with Elliot. She knew she couldn't watch that with Adam. "And you may want to bring a movie if there's something in particular you want to watch."

He laughed. "OK, but are you sure you don't want to come over here? My fridge is full."

"I just haven't been to the store in a while." she said defensively. He didn't need to know that she practically _never_ went to the store.

"I'm just teasing you Olivia. What's your address?"

She rattled off her address and he said he'd be over around 1.

Olivia hung up the phone and flung herself back on the bed. She wasn't sure if it was a good idea to have Adam over or not, but it was done now. And now she had to decide what to wear. She wanted to be comfortable, but she didn't want him to show up with her wearing what could be construed as workout clothes or pajamas. She looked at the clock and saw it was almost 11. She was happy to see she still had a couple of hours until he got there because could use the time to clean up her apartment and finish getting ready.

 _Thanks for your reviews. Keep them coming! I'm going to try to update with another chapter yet tonight if I can…but it may be tomorrow._


	7. Chapter 7

_Here's the next chapter! I wonder what's going to happen with Adam! And will Elliot find out Olivia has a new man in her life?_

Olivia finally settled on wearing black leggings and a white tank top with a white, lightweight, long sleeved, V-neck sweater. It was long and went down past her hips, so she wasn't worried about the curve-hugging leggings _and_ it was very comfortable. She had cleaned up her apartment and had found a bottle of white wine that she threw into the refrigerator to chill. She went into the bathroom and took one last look in the mirror, fixing her hair and swiping on some lip gloss. As she was walking out of the bathroom, she heard the buzzer go off, announcing a visitor.

She pushed the button, releasing the secure lock on the entry downstairs, and walked towards her apartment door. It was only a few minutes before she heard a light knock and she unlocked and opened the door. She smiled when she saw Adam there; his arms were full and she could only see his face over the bags.

"Hi." she said. "Can I take something?" She reached out and took one of the three bags from his arms. He followed her in to her apartment and in to the kitchen, where he set the other two bags.

"Whew. Those were heavier than I thought." he said, smiling over at her. "Hi."

"What did you bring?" asked Olivia, not wanting to go digging through the bags.

"Well, I don't know what you like. I don't know if you like sweets or salt, so I brought both." He reached into the bag and brought out a bag of popcorn from a local popcorn shop and handed it to her. Then he pulled out some tortilla chips and some guacamole and salsa and set them down on the counter next to her. He reached into another bag and took out a small box from a bakery. He took the popcorn out of her hands and set it on the counter and handed her the bakery box.

"Open it." he said with a small smile.

She opened the white pastry box and saw four cupcakes nestled inside; different flavors and different designs. She groaned. "Those look sooo good." she said.

"Wait. There's more." He reached into the bag again, and Olivia was starting to feel like a child must feel on Christmas morning. "I thought you might have a sweet tooth." He handed her another small box, but this one was from a candy store in town. She opened it up and saw a dozen or so pieces of hand-made chocolates.

Olivia started laughing. "Adam, I can't possibly eat all of this!"

He laughed. "I know. You don't have to eat it all today, but honestly, I didn't know what you'd like." He reached into the third bag and pulled out two bottles of red wine and one bottle of white wine and set them down on the counter. "Just in case we get thirsty."

"You must have run all over town since you got off the phone with me. That's crazy!" she said, laughing as she pulled one of the chocolates from the box and took a small bite. "Hmmm. That's really good." She held her hand out with the box, offering it to him. "Take one."

"Nah, I don't have a sweet tooth. I'll stick with the chips." He pushed the box back towards her. "But I'm glad to see you are enjoying them."

"The problem is that I like both. And I try to keep from eating them or I have to spend extra time at the gym!"

Adam let his eyes graze over her. "You don't need to spend any more time at the gym." He smiled as his eyes reached her face again. "You look great."

Olivia bit her bottom lip slightly and then smiled. "Thanks." She set down the box of candy and pulled the empty bags off the counter, trying to busy herself after what felt like an awkward moment. Olivia didn't handle compliments well; especially those about her appearance. She folded the bags and put them in the cupboard under the sink.

"So what do you want to drink?" she asked, turning back towards him. She noticed he had worn dark wash jeans and had a white t-shirt on with a dark green V-neck sweater on; the green of the sweater made his green eyes appear darker. The sweater hugged his body and it appeared to her that he probably spent a fair amount of time working out as well.

He shrugged. "I'll have what you're having." he said. He walked back to the door, noticing it was still open. He closed it and toed off his shoes. He turned back towards the kitchen as Olivia walked out, carrying two bottles of beer and two mugs. He grabbed the beers from her and headed into the living room. "This is a nice place." He looked around. "Have you lived here a long time?"

"I have. I've just never had any reason to move. I always think maybe I should but what for? I don't need any more space. I'm never home. And this is reasonably close to the precinct." She sat down on one end of the couch and Adam took the cue and sat down on the other end. They both turned slightly so they were facing each other, but there was enough space between them so that they weren't too close.

Olivia leaned over and poured her beer into her mug and then sat back up with her beer in her hand. She took a sip and then set her glass back down. "I'm going to grab some of the food if you don't mind." She hopped up and walked into the kitchen, and Adam followed right behind her.

"Let me help." He grabbed the chips, salsa and guac and walked back into the living room, setting it on the coffee table. Olivia grabbed some plates and napkins and followed him, snagging the bag of popcorn on her way.

The both sat back down. Olivia turned back to Adam. "So tell me what you think about New York so far, and tell me about your job and how things are going over at Mercy."

He laughed. "That's a lot of ground to cover."

"I'm not going anywhere." said Olivia, opening up the bag of popcorn and settling in.

EOEOEOEOEO

Adam started talking and Olivia was really enjoying the conversation. He genuinely seemed like a nice guy, and Olivia was starting to wonder when the other shoe was going to drop. He never mentioned being married or divorced or widowed; and she couldn't believe he was still single. There must be something seriously wrong with this guy and she just wasn't seeing it. But for the life of her, she couldn't imagine what. Suddenly she realized that Adam had stopped talking and she focused her attention back on him.

"Am I boring you? I feel like I've been rattling on and on." he said. He must have noticed that her thoughts were elsewhere.

"Oh. No. Sorry. Something just popped into my head and I lost track for a second." She got up. "I'm going to get another beer. Do you want one?"

"Sure, but I have to use your bathroom. Where is it?"

Olivia poked her head around the kitchen wall. "Um. The only bathroom is through my bedroom." She pointed towards her bedroom door. "Through there." She didn't really like the idea of Adam traipsing through her bedroom but the man couldn't hold it all day. She pulled two more beers out of the refrigerator and opened them up, carrying them into the living room. She looked at her watch and saw it was already 2:30. They had been talking for an hour and a half already and she was surprised that the time had flown. She was also surprised that Adam hasn't tried to kiss her. He hadn't even moved any closer to her on the couch during their entire conversation.

He walked back into the living room and Olivia handed him his beer. "Are you ready to watch a movie?" she asked. She figured that movie time might equal some snuggle time and she was definitely OK with that. She had been staring at him for more than an hour and a half and decided she was more than ready to try kissing him again. Even though there hadn't been any major sparks on Friday night, she knew him better now and was definitely more interested.

"Yes, but you pick the movie. I didn't bring any." He looked down at the movie sitting on the coffee table and picked it up. "We could watch this one. I haven't seen it."

Olivia shook her head. It was the movie she and Elliot had picked out. "No. I just watched that one." she fibbed. "Let's pick something else." She headed over to the book case and started rattling off titles until they agreed on one. Olivia popped the movie into the DVD player and headed back to the couch. Adam had regained his original spot on the couch, but when Olivia sat down, she closed the gap between them and sat down right next to him. If he was surprised, he didn't show it. He lifted his arm up and put it behind her on the back of the sofa. Olivia picked up her beer, and extended her legs onto the coffee table, and Adam did the same. She hit PLAY and settled in to enjoy the movie.

They were about 30 minutes into the movie when Olivia hit PAUSE. "Sorry, I have to use the bathroom." She got up and used the bathroom. On her way back, she asked Adam if he wanted another beer and he raised an eyebrow at her.

"Are you trying to get me drunk?" he asked.

She laughed. "Three beers in three hours is going to get you drunk?" she asked. "I didn't peg you for a lightweight."

"Sure, I'll have another one. I can't let you drink me under the table." he said, smiling back at her. Olivia grabbed two more beers and headed back, sitting a little closer than she had before. She leaned into his torso a little more and she felt Adam's arm drop from the back of the couch slightly and he started to play with her hair. She smiled because it reminded her of going to movies with guys when she was a teenager. That game of initiating contact step by step. She hit PLAY and the movie started again.

They watched a little more of the movie and Olivia felt Adam's hand move from her hair to her shoulder, and he started gently rubbing the bar skin at her neck with his fingers. She leaned her head towards him a little, laying her head on his shoulder. After a few minutes, he ran his fingers underneath her sweater and toyed with the strap of her tank top. Olivia bit her bottom lip slightly, losing her concentration on the movie. She moved her right hand, which had been resting on her lap, slightly to the right, making contact with his upper thigh. She left it resting there, nestled in between their two legs. She lifted her head to look at him and realized he was looking right at her. He hesitated a beat, and then leaned in and gave her a gentle kiss. He pulled back, looking at her. Olivia closed her eyes and leaned in and he took that as permission. He kissed her again, pressing against her lips with a little more intensity, teasing her lips with his tongue. She opened her mouth slightly, and he ran his tongue lightly across her bottom lip until she opened her mouth wider. He devoured her mouth then, turning slightly and raking his free hand through her hair and pulling her face closer to his as their tongues tangled. They kissed for what seemed like forever, and Olivia pushed against his chest, wanting oxygen. He pulled back for a moment and she inhaled a deep breath, but then his lips were on hers again. He dropped his right hand from the back of her head, replacing it with his left. He wrapped his right arm around her waist and before she knew what was happening, he had pulled her onto his lap, forcing her to straddle him. She pushed back against his chest again, and he released her lips. He moved both hands up to her cheeks and caressed them.

"I've been wanting to do that since I walked in the door." he said.

Olivia shifted a little uncomfortably, trying not to let her lower body make contact with his. This wasn't exactly what she had intended. A little kissing was fine, but having him pull her over onto his lap was definitely moving things along a little quickly. And once again, she was reminded that she didn't really know him very well and that he was incredibly strong. He must have read her mind or sensed her discomfort.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to pull you onto my lap but it's a much better angle for kissing you." He held up his hands. "I swear." He smiled up at her, still caressing her cheeks.

She smiled back. She wasn't a prude for God's sake, and he hadn't touched any part of her body besides her face. And while she didn't want him to think she was easy…she also didn't want him to be constantly worrying about crossing the line. "You're right." she said, and now it was her turn to kiss him. She pulled his bottom lip into her mouth and he reciprocated, pulling her face close again and deepening the kiss. She felt his hands drop down to her waist, and then they were running up and down her back, over her clothes. He dropped his mouth down to her neck, kissing and trailing his way down to her collarbone. He kissed his way back up and found a sensitive spot beneath her ear and Olivia let out an involuntary moan as he sucked on that spot. She could feel his smile against her skin and she silently chastised herself to keep her moans to herself. She lolled her head back slightly as he continued to attack her neck and she felt his hands dig into her waist. She was running her hands up and down his chest and she could see that this was going to get very interesting very quickly.

Adam felt himself starting to get aroused. This woman was so unbelievably sexy and just a few kisses and the feeling of her body on him, underneath his hands, were sending him right over the edge. He wanted to run his hands underneath her sweater, touch that bronzed skin. He liked to think he had some self-control, but he could already tell that if he was going to have a relationship with Olivia, self-control was going to be difficult. He had to stop this now before it got to out of hand. He didn't want her to think that he had come over here just for sex. He didn't want to be pushy and make her think he was some kind of ass that expected her to sleep with him so quickly.

Olivia felt Adam pull back and put his hands on her arms, stilling them against his chest. "Olivia." he said, his voice slightly hoarse. She opened her eyes and looked back at him. "I…we need to stop." She furrowed her brow at him, because although she was hearing the words, she couldn't believe _he_ was the one saying them.

"What?" she asked before she could stop herself.

"If we don't stop this then I'm going to want a whole lot more and I don't think we're ready for that yet."

"Oh." said Olivia, and she felt like an idiot. Then she realized that he was the one that had started kissing her; he was the one that had pulled her onto his lap. Still she apologized. "I'm sorry."

He stopped her, tugging her arms back into his chest. He looked into her eyes. "No Olivia. I didn't mean I don't want to. God, if you only knew. But I don't want you to think I'm some asshole that just came over here to have sex with you. It's not like that. I really like you Olivia. I _really_ like you. You're smart and funny and beautiful. Amazingly beautiful and unbelievably sexy. I can see us having a relationship and so I just don't want to rush things. I don't want to mess up." He leaned in and kissed her gently on the lips. "OK?" He said as he pulled back.

Olivia couldn't believe what she'd just heard. Here she was, waiting for the other shoe to drop, and he'd surprised her with something like this. "OK." she said with a whisper. He pulled her close, and she rested her head on his shoulder. He ran his hands up and down her back and she smiled, letting her mind wander, trying to envision what a life with Adam could look like.

 _Thanks for your reviews. Keep them coming!_


	8. Chapter 8

_Thanks for your comments. People make me laugh because they are getting so upset. Anyone who had read my stories know that I am EO all the way…sometimes it just takes some time to get there. So thanks for sticking with the story._

 _EOEOEOEOEOEOEOEO_

Adam was running his hands up and down Olivia's back and she still had her head resting on his shoulder. She wondered what it would feel like to be snuggled up against Elliot this way; to have it be his hands on her body, and she stiffened. Where had that thought come from? Olivia pulled herself away from Adam, and stood up. "Um, I'm going to get a cupcake and something else to drink. Do you want anything?" she asked.

Adam shifted uncomfortably in his seat, worried that he had done something wrong. He had felt her stiffen beneath his hands. "Um, no. I'm good." he said, giving her a small smile.

"OK" Olivia turned around and walked into the kitchen. She grabbed the box of cupcakes, leaned against the counter and sighed. She thought back to the little make-out session with Adam. It had been nice to be kissed and held again. As he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close, she had melted into him, loving the feeling of having a man's arms around her. It had been so long. But then Elliot popped into her head and ruined the moment. How was she ever going to move on if she couldn't keep him out of her thoughts? And on top of that, poor Adam had no idea what had happened or why she had pulled away. He probably was thinking he had done or said something wrong.

She sighed again. This whole thing was messed up. Adam had told her he liked her. There were real feelings at stake here. Was it right for her to use him just to try to get over Elliot? She told herself she just needed to find someone else and she would realize her feelings for Elliot were unfounded. That they were just really close friends. That she could fall in love with someone else. But she had to admit, she hadn't felt any spark with Adam. She was trying to force herself to feel something…but it shouldn't be like that. So even if Elliot didn't want her, it was clear that Adam wasn't going to be the one.

She was deep in thought and was startled when Adam walked into the kitchen. She looked up, cupcake box still in hand.

"Are you trying to decide which one to have?" he joked, but the smile faded quickly when Olivia looked up.

Olivia tried to recover from her thoughts. She gave him a quick smile. "Yeah…" She held out the box. "Do you want one now?"

Adam shook his head. "No." He walked over and placed his hands on Olivia's upper arms. "Olivia, are you upset with me? I hope you didn't think I didn't want to keep kissing you and…" He ran his hands up and down her arms while he was talking.

"Adam. No. You didn't do or say anything." Olivia said, pulling out of his grasp. "I'm fine." She started walking out of the kitchen, the cupcake box in hand. "Let's just finish watching the movie." She didn't want to kick him out and she had to think about what she wanted to do.

Adam followed her, but put his hand on her shoulder as they got into the living room. "Olivia, I think I'm going to get going a little early." he said and Olivia turned towards him.

"You don't have to leave." she said. "At least stay and watch the rest of the movie."

Adam stood and considered her for a moment. He wasn't quite sure what was going on, but he could tell that something had changed in her mood and demeanor. "You know, I've missed about half of the movie already. I think I'm going to go."

Olivia gave him a thin lipped smile. "I'm sorry Adam." Olivia took a step towards him.

He smiled. "There's nothing to be sorry about. I'll take a rain check."

Olivia nodded. "That would be good." Olivia cringed inwardly; she really shouldn't be encouraging him but she still needed time to figure things out.

Adam took a step, closing the distance between them. He gave her a gentle kiss. "Maybe we can have dinner later this week?"

Olivia didn't comment and Adam didn't wait to get a confirmation as he leaned in and kissed her again. He headed towards the door.

"Wait, you should take some of the food you brought." Olivia said, following him to the door.

"No, keep it here. I brought it for you." He turned when he reached the door. "I'll call you tomorrow and we can pick a night for dinner."

Adam turned the knob and jumped back when he opened the door, startled to find someone standing there with his hand raised to knock. Olivia looked to see what had caused him to jump and saw Elliot standing outside her door with a take-out bag in his hand.

"Elliot?" she said, surprised to see him there.

"Dr. Collins?" Elliot said, an equally surprised look on his face. "What are you…?" His voice trailed off as he looked back and forth between the two of them. He took in Olivia's casual attire and took a step back as his mind grasped what was going on.

"Elliot, right?" asked Adam. He stuck out his hand. "Good to see you again." Olivia looked back at Elliot, ready to see how he was going to react. She saw him swallow hard and take Adam's hand.

"Um, yeah." Elliot looked over at Olivia and she could tell he was trying hard to control his facial features; she knew he would be mad that she hadn't told him she was seeing Adam. "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt." He looked over at Olivia. "I'll just thought maybe you hadn't eaten and I…" he thrust the bag at Olivia but pulled it back when she didn't take it. "I'm just going to go."

"No." said Adam, and both Olivia and Elliot looked at him in surprise. It was obvious to Olivia then that Adam had no idea about her and Elliot and the nature of their relationship and she was happy about that. She didn't want him to feel threatened by Elliot. "I was just leaving. We had to cut our afternoon short." He turned towards Olivia and gave her a kiss. "I'll call you tomorrow." He looked at Elliot as he passed by. "Good to see you again."

Elliot watched Adam as he walked down the hall and then turned back to Olivia. She was still standing in the doorway and she moved back to let him in.

Elliot walked in and tossed the bag of food on the kitchen counter. He turned to face her as she closed the door.

"You kicked me out of here because you had a date?" he said, his voice laced with anger. "I thought you were going shopping with Casey or Alex. You didn't tell me you were going on a date!" His tone escalated as he spit out the words.

"You didn't ask what I was doing." Said Olivia in a cool tone. "You just assumed." Olivia moved into the living room and Elliot followed her.

"And you didn't correct me."

Olivia shrugged her shoulders. "I can have a personal life Elliot."

Elliot gestured towards the door. "With him? You're dating him? He's my doctor for Chrissakes."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "He's not _your_ doctor Elliot. He's _a_ doctor. It's not like you see him on a regular basis." She sat down on the couch, exasperated with this conversation already.

"How long have you been dating him?" Elliot furrowed his brow. "Were you dating him before I went to the emergency room?"

Olivia could see that Elliot was trying to put all of the pieces together. "No. I met him when we were there. You met him the same time I did."

Elliot pressed his lips together. "So you've know him less than a week? And he's already over here at your apartment? And you're dressed like that?" He pointed to her.

Olivia looked down, frowning. "Dressed like what?"

"Like that!" He pointed at her again. "You're all casual, like in your pajamas."

"God Elliot. You're acting like I'm sitting here naked!" She grabbed the material of her sweater. "These are not pajamas. We were just having a lazy afternoon and I don't need to dress up for that."

"Well, you're awfully cozy with someone you just met. It was over a year before I ever set foot in your apartment and now he's over here in less than a week and you guys are all snuggled up together?" Elliot ran his hands over his face. He didn't like this at all. Why was she dating this guy and why hadn't she told him? What the hell did having a 'lazy day' mean? He thought back to the kiss the doctor had given Olivia at the door. "God Liv, are you already sleeping with him?" Elliot blurted out. As soon as he said it, he knew he had crossed a line with her. Hell, he had probably already crossed the line when he started questioning her but when it came to her…he just couldn't help it. And now she was going to kick him out.

Olivia stood up suddenly and walked up to Elliot. "How dare you!" She thrust her fingers into his chest to emphasize her point. "You goddamn bastard! Who the hell do you think you are?" She took a step back, still furious. "Do you want to know why I don't tell you about my personal life? Because this is how you act every goddamn time!" Olivia was yelling now, furious that Elliot would act this way; always acted this way. She whirled around and headed over to the windows, trying to calm herself down. She turned back around. "You don't get to question who I date Elliot. Or who I sleep with. You are my _partner._ Nothing more!" She turned back towards the window. "Nothing more." She whispered.

Elliot was caught off guard at her outburst. He had expected her fury, but he had also expected her to show him the door. He wasn't quite sure what to do now. He knew he was a bastard and he knew she was right; he didn't have the right to dictate any of that. He didn't have the right to stand in her way if she had a chance at a relationship, as he'd been doing all these years. He'd wanted to keep her for himself, but he saw now how selfish that had been, especially while he was married. And now he wasn't married, but he had missed his chance. She was seeing someone else now.

"Liv." He said quietly and she turned around. "I don't have any excuse." It wasn't an apology but it was the best he could do.

Olivia kept looking at him, expecting him to say more, but she could see the hesitancy in his eyes. It was obvious he was trying to decide what he was going to say next, and Olivia waited, wondering what he could possibly say.

"So…you like this guy?" he asked. The anger was gone, replaced with defeat.

Olivia furrowed her brow. That was not what she expected. She leaned against the windows, folded her arms, and sighed.

"I don't know." She said, realizing that in all honesty, she didn't really know how she felt. Adam was an escape plan…an escape from Elliot. She continued to look at Elliot and he just stared back at her. She wanted him to say something. She wanted him to tell her how he felt; if he felt anything beyond friendship for her. Talking about feelings and emotions have never been their strong suit. She didn't know if he had it in him to tell her. And she didn't know if she had it in her to tell him either.

"You don't know?" he asked. He seemed to be puzzled by her answer.

Olivia took a deep breath. "I've tried to tell myself that I do." She said. "I keep trying to talk myself into feeling something for him but I can't…." her voice trailed off. It was now or never. She looked back at Elliot and saw he was still staring at her intently. She took a few steps towards him and stopped. "Because he's not you."

 _Thanks for your reviews. Keep them coming!_


	9. Chapter 9

_Thanks for hanging in there with me. I know it's been awhile since my last update but I've been traveling too much. Here's the next chapter and I will post some more in the next 3-4 days! I hope you enjoy!_

From the end of the last chapter:

Olivia took a deep breath. "I've tried to tell myself that I do." She said. "I keep trying to talk myself into feeling something for him but I can't…" her voice trailed off. It was now or never. She looked back at Elliot and saw he was staring at her intently. She took a few steps towards him and stopped. "Because he's not you."

EOEOEOEOEOEO

As soon as the words were out of her mouth, Olivia wanted to take them back. She put her hand over her mouth, as if to keep more from leaking out. What was she thinking?

He was shocked at her words. He had been so focused on the fact that she was seeing someone else and that he'd missed his chance, that he wasn't sure he had heard her correctly. But the look on her face told him that he had. He had been waiting for her to give some indication that she might feel something for him, but he hadn't expected an outright confession like that. If that _was_ a confession. "Liv." he said, trying to collect his thoughts.

Olivia saw the shocked expression on his face and heard the uncertainty in his voice. _No. No. No_. She wanted to take it back. If he had any feelings for her, he would have told her already…she felt like an idiot. She turned around and walked back over to the window, resting her hands along the window ledge. "I didn't mean that." She said, her voice shaking slightly. "I don't know what I meant by that." But she knew it was too late; the damage was done. "Just…just go Elliot." She said softly.

"Liv." Elliot said again, and she could hear a question in his voice. She didn't want to turn around. She couldn't handle his rejection.

"Please. Just go." She whispered.

Elliot came up behind her and placed his hands tentatively on her shoulders…his touch light, as if asking permission to touch her.

"Liv." He ran his hands down her arms, taking a step closer and Olivia gave an involuntary shudder. She could feel his breath on the back of her head and she closed her eyes, relishing these few moments. They didn't touch; especially not like this, and it made her think that he was trying to soften the blow.

Elliot wasn't sure what to say to her. His mind was jumbled with everything he wanted to say and he couldn't quite sort it all out. He could feel her tense underneath his hands as he hesitated, and he knew he had to say something quickly; he could tell how much that admission had cost her and if he didn't say something soon she would misread him and push him away.

"Liv." He said again and mentally kicked himself. _How many more times could he just say her name?_ He let out a deep breath, one he hadn't even known he'd been holding. "I…"

Olivia shrugged his hands off her arms and spun around, pushing him back. He wasn't prepared and stumbled back slightly. She was so embarrassed now by what she'd said. It was clear that Elliot didn't even know what to say to her and she knew she'd put him in an awful position. "El…just go. Please."

Eliot looked at her face and could see a faint blush on her cheeks and her eyes were glassy, as if she were holding back tears. He took a few steps towards her and she stepped back, pace for pace, until she connected with the windows again. He closed the space between them.

"No." he said simply.

"Elliot. I don't know what I was saying but I'm sorry. Just…"

Elliot cut her off. "Stop it." He said.

"But."

"Liv. Stop." He looked down at his feet. "I don't even know what to say to you…there's so much I want to say."

"El…I didn't mean…"

Elliot looked back up at her. He cupped her face with both hands and stared into her eyes, his face inches from hers. "Stop talking Liv. I'm trying to tell you something…" he smiled. And then, because he couldn't seem to find the right words, he leaned in and captured her lips with his. The kiss was soft and gentle, and he relished the way her soft lips felt against his.

Olivia was tentative at first…he caught her so off-guard. Was this _Elliot_ kissing her? She couldn't wrap her mind around it. But as he started to pull away, she realized that Elliot was kissing her and she hadn't even registered it. It was something she had wanted for so long…and she never wanted it to stop. She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer, returning the kiss.

Elliot smiled against her lips and wrapped his arms around her waist, deepening the kiss. He pulled her bottom lip between his lips and sighed. He had longed to kiss Olivia for so long…and now she was kissing him back. He could barely believe this was happening. He teased her lips with his tongue and she opened her mouth, letting his tongue tangle with hers as her head knocked back against the window. He pulled one hand off her waist and cradled her head and he thought that if he died now, he would be a happy man.

Olivia let out a small moan as Elliot pressed his body against hers and she felt him shudder against her. She was glad that she was having the same effect on him as he was on her and she couldn't help smiling. Elliot broke off the kiss when he felt her smile and looked down at her, pulling back slightly, his hands on her waist.

"What are you smiling about?" he asked, a grin on his face.

Olivia shrugged her shoulders and looked up at him through her dark eyelashes, giving him a sultry smile. "So?" she asked. She couldn't believe this…five minutes ago she was certain he was going to tell her he didn't feel the same way, and now she could feel his excitement as he pressed his body against hers. She rocked her hips into him and lowered her voice. "You were saying?"

He narrowed his eyes, seeing a side of Olivia he didn't know very well. He could see that there was definitely a sultry, sexy side of Olivia and that he was going to be in big trouble. He pulled her away from the window and turned her around, pushing her back on the couch and climbing over her, caging her body on his hands and knees. He leaned in and kissed her once and pulled back. "What I was trying to tell you…" he leaned in and kissed her again…"is that I'm pretty sure…" he kissed her again. "That I am madly…" _kiss_ "deeply" _kiss_ "in love with you Olivia Benson." She gasped as the words came out of his mouth and he leaned in, delving his tongue into her mouth and lowering his body flush against hers. He held his weight on his knees and elbows as he devoured her mouth, and Olivia wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him closer. He released her lips as they gasped for air, and he dropped his lips to her neck, finding a spot beneath her ear that caused a moan to rip from her throat. Elliot felt that groan go right to his groin, and pushed his growing erection against her thigh, moaning against her neck. Olivia felt a jolt run through her own body and she smiled. She had imagined kissing Elliot so many times; had imagined something just like this. But her imagination paled in comparison to what she was feeling right now. Elliot loved her…What?! His words came barreling back to her. _Had he told her that he loved her?_

Olivia pushed against his shoulders. "Elliot. Stop." She said.

He muffled something against her neck, but kept kissing and teasing her neck with his lips and tongue.

"Stop." She said, a little more forcefully and Elliot pulled back with a confused look on his face.

"What?" he said, furrowing his brow.

"I said stop." Olivia said, pushing against his shoulders again.

Elliot got up quickly and sat down on the end of the couch as she scrambled back on the other end and pulled her legs towards her.

"I…I'm sorry. I got carried away…I thought…" Elliot was confused. She had been kissing him back and moaning in his ear. "Are you OK?"

"El, stop it. I'm fine. It's fine. I just…" her voice trailed off and she looked away from him.

"What?" Elliot asked.

"What did you say a few minutes ago?" she asked. Surely she hadn't heard him correctly.

"What?" Elliot was still confused about what was going on. Frankly, he body had pooled all of its' _resources_ elsewhere on his body and he was shifting uncomfortably on the couch, trying to hide his raging hard-on.

"I asked you what you said."

Elliot looked up at her and saw confusion in her face. He didn't understand why she would be confused. He'd been pretty clear. He pressed his lips together and thought about his partner; his best friend. She hadn't had a lot of people in her life that she could depend on. That had told her they loved her…and meant it. He knew those words meant a lot to her. He knew she trusted him more than anyone else in this world, and he had to make sure she knew that she could trust him with her heart.

He stood up and walked over to her, holding out his hands. "C'mere." He said. When she didn't move, he reached down, grasping her hands in his and pulling her up so she was standing in front of him. He reached out with his left hand, and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. He laughed. "If you knew how many times I wanted to reach over and tuck that damned hair behind your ear." He cupped her right cheek with his left hand and ran his thumb along her lower lip. "Or how many times I wanted to press my lips against yours…" He reached up and placed both hands on her shoulders, running his thumbs along her collarbone. "Or just touch you…" He took in a deep breath and let it out. "Olivia Benson. What I said was that I love you. I am madly, deeply in love with you and have been for a long time."

Olivia swallowed hard. Elliot had never been good with emotions; and the two of them had never been good about sharing their feelings about _anything_. And yet, here he was, telling her that he loved her…and had for a long time. She was almost dumbstruck and looked at his eyes. He was staring at her intently, and she could see nothing but sincerity there. She took a deep breath. "El…I…"

Elliot stopped her with a kiss; he knew how hard this was for her. "I know Liv. I know." He pulled her into an embrace, wrapping his arms around her and nuzzling his face in her hair. He placed a few kisses on the top of her head. "Just tell me you want to go forward. That you want to explore a future with me." He pulled back and looked back down at her and could see tears threatening her lower lashes. "Why are you crying?" he asked, suddenly alarmed that maybe he had said too much; that he had moved too fast.

Olivia sniffled, and swiped at her eyes. "I'm not crying." She buried her head in Elliot's chest. "I just can't believe this is real. I've been trying to tell myself that we're just friends and that nothing's going to change between us. That I had to find someone else to love."

Elliot pulled her back and looked at her again. "Why didn't you tell me? Or let me know how you felt?"

Olivia sat down hard on the couch and ran her hands through her hair. "El. You've been separated for months. I thought that if you wanted to change our relationship, you would have by now. So I thought maybe I had misread you and that you weren't interested in me the way I thought you were."

Elliot sat down next to her, laughing. "God Liv. Not interested in you? I didn't think you were interested in me. I never got any indication… I mean, we're close but hell, you put my marriage back together more times than I would have. So I thought maybe you were just…I don't know. A good friend and that I was out of my mind. I thought if you wanted things to change, you would say something or let me know somehow." He grabbed her hand in his. "When I saw you with Dr. Collins I almost lost it but then I thought…it makes sense. You're a gorgeous woman Liv, and he's handsome and a doctor. And I realized that I've been selfish all these years, trying to keep you to myself even when I was married. I didn't want you to date anyone else. I couldn't bear the thought of anyone else touching you. All I could think about was that you're mine Liv…" He looked down at their hands. "Can you forgive me for being such a selfish prick all these years?"

"Elliot…" Olivia said. Because even though she knew there was truth in what he was saying, she wasn't sure that it wasn't partly her fault too. She never let relationships get too far…she wanted someone else that she couldn't have.

He saw her hesitate. He pushed on. "But I have to say…." He paused. "I'm not sorry… because it means we're here now." He grabbed her other hand and pulled them both to his mouth. "Liv, I've loved you for so long and even though I haven't always been the best partner and friend, please tell me what we have a chance…that you'll give me a chance. I love you."


	10. Chapter 10

_Welcome back! I want to say thanks to everyone that was patient as I finished up one of my other stories. Now that it's done, I'm back to this one and will stay focused on this to the end. You may want to go back and read the story again, or at least the last chapter, so you'll get a feel_ _for where we left off. I had to! Thanks again for reading and please leave a review_.

EOEOEOEOEO

"Elliot. I want this…." Olivia started. She was still reeling from everything that had happened in the last few minutes. Elliot telling her that he loved her. Elliot kissing her. His hands on her. His obvious desire for her. It was like a dream come true. She'd let herself get caught up in it, but now cold, hard reality was setting in. What had she set in motion? "But…"

"Liv. No buts." Elliot said, frustration in his voice. He knew his partner well and he knew that right now, she was thinking about all potential repercussions, calculating risk. "Stop overthinking this!"

Olivia shook her head. "I'm not overthinking anything. I'm just being rational. Maybe there's a good reason we never took this step." She stood up and walked a few paces away from the couch. She turned back towards him. "We have to think about our jobs, your kids, your wife." _Shit. His wife_. "Elliot, you're still married." The thought came roaring into her brain and she felt a mix of guilt and fear. What if he went back to his wife?

Elliot stood up "I'm separated." he said quickly.

"But technically, you're still married."

Elliot closed the distance between them and placed his hands on her upper arms. "Olivia. Stop it." He rubbed his hands up and down her arms. "Just stop it. We finally had the courage to tell each other how we felt after all this time…and now you're already trying to run from it?" He pointed towards the couch. "Are you telling me that you don't want this? Because it certainly seems like you do…" There was no mistaking the passion in that kiss…in her reaction to his body against hers. But he knew that telling her that he loved her had scared her to death. He should have gone slowly…it was too much too fast. But it was out now; he couldn't take it back.

She took a step back, forcing him to drop his hands from her arms. She looked into his eyes, and bit her bottom lip with her teeth. She wanted this…if he only knew how much she wanted this. But he was her best friend. If things didn't work out between them, she would lose everything. Was it worth the risk?

She swallowed hard. "I'm scared El." she said softly. "I want…" her voice trailed off and she looked away. She turned her back to him; she couldn't look at him or she would break. She knew what she wanted, but she couldn't put voice to it. It made it so real. And if it was real then there was always a chance there would be heartbreak and disappointment.

Elliot came up behind her, and placed his hands lightly on her shoulders once again. He felt her body tense. "Liv. Just listen to me." He whispered. "I know you're scared. I'm scared too. But I've wanted this. I've wanted you. For a long time. I'm not in love with Kathy any more. I'm not going back. I didn't tell you how I felt because I wanted it to be right; for everything to be settled. But when you told me how you were feeling…Liv, I couldn't have been happier. I was never certain…I thought you felt the same way, but I didn't _know_. So I'm sorry if I came on too strong…if I scared you by telling you that I'm in love with you. But I am. I'm not going to deny it." He thumbs caressed her upper arms and he squeezed lightly, looking into her eyes. " I want to be right here. With you. I'm not going anywhere. And no matter what you tell me; no matter what you decide, I'm going to stay by your side. " He turned her around slowly, so she was facing him. He put a hand underneath her chin and tilted her face up towards his. "I'm never going to let you go. So I need you to decide. I need you to tell me what you want."

Olivia blinked rapidly a few times, trying to stave off tears that were threatening to flow. _Who was this_? She'd never seen this side of Elliot. This was more emotion than she'd ever heard from him in the past seven years. This tenderness…she wasn't used to it and it threw her a little. She saw the intensity and emotion in his eyes…and she knew that she was lost. There was no going back.

She parted her lips slowly…uncertain as to how to respond to that outpouring. Knowing she couldn't possibly say all the things she wanted to say. "El…" Elliot furrowed his brows and she could see that he was expecting her to retreat. To take the love he had offered and cast it aside. She looked into his eyes and took a deep breath, feeling as if she was about to jump out into an abyss. "El. I want this to work. I want _us_ to work."

Elliot let out a sigh of relief. He'd been so nervous that she'd push him away. That she'd spout off a million reasons why this wouldn't work and refuse to give them a try. He wouldn't have been able to take it. Even though he said he'd stay by her side, no matter what, he knew it would be difficult. Especially now that he'd kissed her…felt her body beneath his. This was about more than sex, but those few minutes had been heaven.

He took a step forward and reconnected, grabbing her around the waist and pulling her towards him. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her in tight against his chest, burying his face in her hair.

"God Liv. Thanks for taking a chance on us. I promise that I won't disappoint you."

Olivia said something but it was muffled against his chest. He loosened his arms a little and she pulled back.

"What did you say?" he asked.

"I said I can't breathe." she laughed. "You were holding me so tightly." She smiled. "When you said you were never going to let me go, I didn't realize you meant it so literally."

Elliot laughed…a great big, roaring laugh. After the seriousness of the past few minutes, he was happy to see that his Olivia was back. His laugh helped to diffuse the tension in the room, but now there was a new sense of awkwardness. Before, he had kissed her and it had come naturally. As had everything else that followed. But now, he saw Olivia looking at him, and he wasn't quite sure what to do. He wanted to kiss her again, but he knew they had a lot of things to figure out.

Olivia smirked, watching him. "So…" She snagged his hand and walked back over to the couch.

She sat down and Elliot sat a little ways away from her, turning so he faced her.

"So." he said.

She laughed. "What are you thinking about right now?"

Elliot swallowed, because he didn't really want to tell Olivia what he was thinking right now. Because he'd been thinking less than wholesome thoughts about his partner. Partner?

Olivia raised an eyebrow and smiled at him. "I don't think I want to know."

Elliot recovered quickly. "No. I'm just thinking. Well, now what? Are you my girlfriend? Do we go out on dates? I mean, where do we go from here?"

Olivia made a face. "I don't know Elliot. This is new to me too."

"Calling you my girlfriend sounds so…"

"High school?" Olivia offered.

"Yeah. "

"And as for dating… don't you normally date so you can get to know someone? I know everything about you El." Olivia laughed.

"So. We're not dating and you're not my girlfriend?" Elliot asked, a puzzled look on his face.

Olivia moved closer to him on the couch. "Yeah, that pretty much sums it up."

"But I get to kiss you and…" He couldn't say the words, but thoughts of making love to Olivia flooded his mind.

Olivia hesitated. She wanted Elliot to take her to bed, but she wasn't sure if tonight was the night. She wanted to take things a little slowly so she could adjust to this new reality.

Elliot noticed her hesitancy and he wanted to kick himself for what he'd said. He'd already scared her once with his proclamations, and although he didn't imagine Olivia was any kind of shrinking violet when it came to sex, he didn't want her to think that was all that he was after.

Olivia gave him a small smile. "Yes, you get to kiss me. And I get to kiss you. As for the rest…let's just see what happens, OK?"

Elliot closed the gap between them and grabbed her hands. "Liv. I didn't mean…I'm not trying to push. We'll take this at whatever pace you want. I'll follow your lead."

Olivia looked back at him. "El. There's something else."

Elliot braced himself. He could see by the look on her face that it was something big.

Olivia chose her words carefully. "I want to be honest with you." She looked at Elliot and saw he was listening intently.

"We have to be honest with each Liv. Or this isn't going to work." He meant what he said. They hadn't had the best track record with honesty in the past and it caused a lot of problems for them. If this relationship was going to have any chance, they'd have to work hard at it.

Olivia continued. "When you said you wanted me for a long time…well, I felt the same way. But you were married. It would have been easy to forget that." She looked at Elliot, willing him to understand what she was saying, but he just looked back at her, waiting for her to continue. She took a deep breath. "I never wanted to be the other woman El. I won't be. I've done that before…" Her voice trailed off, remembering back to an affair with a married man when she was much, much younger.

Elliot remembered the conversation they'd had about it…a comment in passing really. "Liv. I wouldn't have wanted that either."

"But you're still married Elliot. So technically…"

Elliot sat back, rocked by what she was saying. "So are you telling me that we can't move ahead until my divorce is final?"

Olivia ran her hands through her hair. "I don't know what I'm saying. I haven't thought this through Elliot." She stood up. "I wasn't exactly expecting all of this to happen today." She thought back to this morning and it seemed so long ago. Jeez. Just a few hours ago she was kissing Adam.

Elliot stood up and walked over to where she was standing. "But you're the one that told me how you felt first. If you didn't want this, then why did you tell me?" His voiced was slightly tinged with anger. He was frustrated and he looked down at the ground, trying to rein it in.

Olivia looked up at him. "Elliot. Look at me."

He looked up at her and she continued. "I just told you that I wanted this." She let out a sigh. "We've been dancing around this for so long. I've been thinking about it a lot since you've been separated. And today…it just came out. I saw the look on your face when you saw Adam, and I just wanted to let you know how I felt."

Elliot started to interrupt but she held up her hand. "Just let me get this out." She put her hands on his chest and looked up at him. "Elliot. I think I'm as madly in love with you as you are with me. When you kissed me…" She smiled. "Well, let's just say it was everything I imagined and more."

Elliot smirked and she slapped his chest playfully.

"I know I shouldn't have told you that." she joked. But then her face turned serious again. "But Elliot, I know how much your family means to you. I know you've stayed with Kathy all these years…and that its going to be hard to leave that behind." Her voice choked up a little. "I can't go into this not knowing…if we're together and then you decide to go back to her…it'll kill me Elliot." She shook her head. "You're all I have in this world El. I can't lose you. "

"Liv."

"I mean it. If I can't have you this way…if you're not certain…then I'd rather leave things the way they were."

Elliot reached up and cupped her face with his hands. "I've never been more certain Liv. This isn't a fling. I hope you know that." He leaned in and gave her a gentle kiss. "I'm going to talk to Kathy and I'm going to file for a divorce."

Olivia wrapped her arms around him and rested her head on his chest. He rubbed his hands up and down her back and nuzzled his face in her hair.

"I love you Olivia. We're going to make this work. I've never wanted anything as much as I've wanted this. I would never hurt you."

Olivia sighed. She wanted to tell Elliot not to make promises he may not be able to keep. But she kept silent. She was happy snuggled into his body right now. She felt content. She felt happy.

Elliot loosened his arms a bit and she pulled back and looked up at him. "So back to the conversation about kissing…" he started. He hand reached up and caressed her cheek. "I'm not sure what the rules…"

Before he could finish the sentence, Olivia had wrapped her hand around the nape of his neck and pulled his face to hers. She pulled his top lip between hers and tilted her head, trying to deepen the kiss. Elliot didn't need any more encouragement. He moved his hand from her cheek to tangle in her hair as he opened her mouth with his. He dipped his tongue inside her mouth and felt a tingle as his tongue touched hers. He wrapped one hand around her waist, pulling her body against his and devoured her mouth. He spun her around and started walking her backwards towards the couch. When her knees hit the couch, she fell backwards, losing contact with Elliot's mouth. Elliot tried to stop her descent but failed. She laughed as she looked at him standing there with a look of dismay.

"It seems to me like I've been here before." she say, a coy smile on her face.

Elliot's look of dismay turned into a crooked smile as he realized she was OK, and that she was teasing him. He saw the look in her eye and was hit again with the realization that there was most assuredly a sexy, sultry side of Olivia that he'd never seen before. He smiled broadly, looking forward to the moment when he'd get to see that passion directed at him.

Olivia held out her arm, and crooked her finger, motioning for him to join her. She never lost that devilish look in her eye and Elliot smiled. _She's going to be the death of me_. He climbed over her on the couch, bracing himself on his knees and his forearms and looked down at her, smiling up at him. _But I'll die a happy man._

e HeHe


	11. Chapter 11

Elliot was working hard to keep his hands from roaming…he was trying to focus on just kissing her, but he knew this was going to reach a point where he definitely was not going to want to stop. Olivia was moaning beneath him and he couldn't help but press his hard-on into her thigh.

He broke the kiss and dropped his face down to her ear. "God Liv."

Olivia shuddered as he whispered in her ear. God, she wanted him to touch her…everywhere. This was going to be a lot harder than she thought. She could feel the liquid heat between her legs, and when he pressed himself against her, she almost lost her resolve.

Elliot pulled back and sat up at the end of the couch, putting her feet in his lap. He sighed heavily and she sat up, scooting into the corner on the other end of the couch. Elliot looked over at her, and took in her messy hair and swollen lips. Her cheeks were flushed and she was breathing a little heavier and he smiled, knowing he had done that to her.

"God Liv. You're beautiful."

Olivia rolled her eyes, embarrassed by Elliot's words. "El…" she said, in a tone meant to tell him to knock it off.

"Hey" he said, reaching his hand out towards her. She took it and he looked at her intently. "I get to tell you things like that now." He smiled. "And I mean it. I've wanted to tell you that for a long time."

Olivia looked away. She had certainly had men tell her she was beautiful, but this was _Elliot_. She didn't know how to handle it.

He tugged at her hands and she fell towards him, and he pulled her onto his lap so she was sitting sideways. He wrapped his arm around her waist and kissed the top of her nose. "You're beautiful Liv." He reached up with his other hand and put it under her chin, lifting her face up so his eyes met hers. "And I'm going to keep telling you that."

She reached up and placed a hand on his cheek. "You're not so bad yourself." She leaned in and kissed him, shifting slightly in his lap. Elliot groaned and Olivia grimaced.

"Sorry." She climbed off his lap and settled on the couch next to him.

He stood up. "I'll be right back." He said, headed towards the bathroom. He had to get himself under control, and having her moving on his lap wasn't helping his situation.

Olivia watched him as he walked, noting his discomfort. She went into the kitchen and got two beers out of the fridge. Maybe they could watch a movie or a game or something. There definitely couldn't be any more kissing.

Elliot came back about ten minutes later.

"Everything OK?" Olivia asked, raising her eyebrows and handing him a beer.

Elliot nodded, smiling tightly. "Perfect." He took a big swig of beer and looked over at her and sighed. "Everything's great."

"Do you want to watch a movie or see if there's a game on?" Olivia asked.

"How about we go on our first official date. Let's go out and grab a bite to eat." Elliot said. He needed to get out of the apartment and get some fresh air.

"Actually, that sounds great." Olivia said. "I'm just going to throw some jeans on." She went in the bedroom and changed into her jeans. She went into her bathroom and fixed her hair and make-up. She came out of the bathroom.

"I'm ready."

The walked to a small diner that was close to Olivia's apartment and they enjoyed a quiet dinner. They'd eaten together a hundred times before, and this was no different. Olivia had worried that it would seem odd, but they fell into their normal banter and it was just nice to spend time together. When they were done, they walked back to Olivia's apartment, and Elliot snagged her hand as they walked. Olivia smiled up at him, amazed at how such a little thing like holding hands could be so wonderful.

When they got back to Olivia's apartment, Elliot walked her up to her door. She opened the door and waited for him to follow her in, but he stopped. He snagged her arm and she turned back towards him.

"You're not coming in?" she asked.

"I think I'm going to go." He said.

Olivia grabbed him around the waist and pulled him towards her, capturing his lips with hers. Elliot rested his hands on her waist, and then slid them up her sides until he had one hand cupping her head and the other dropped back to her waist. He drove his tongue into her mouth and Olivia moaned. He pulled back quickly and put his forehead against hers.

"I have to go." He said, his voice hoarse. "This is killing me you know."

Olivia smiled as she pulled away. "You think this is easy for me?" she said.

Elliot let out a breath through pursed lips. "No." He smiled at her. "Then I guess I won't be the only one lying awake tonight." He said, a smirk on his face.

Olivia gave him a mischievous smile. "I'll sleep just fine." She walked into her apartment and shut the door, leaving him standing in the hallway.

EOEOEOEOEO

When Elliot arrived at the precinct the next morning, Olivia was already at her desk. He set down a cup of coffee and a bag from the bakery on her desk, and moved around to his desk.

"Good morning." He said, as he sat down in his chair and took the top off his cup of coffee.

"Good morning." Olivia said, opening up the bakery bag. "What did you bring me today? Hmm. A blueberry muffin. My favorite."

"Just trying to start your week out right." Elliot said, giving her a quick smile. "How did you sleep last night?" he asked.

"Like a baby." She said, smiling sweetly. She was actually lying through her teeth, because it took quite a while to get thoughts of Elliot out of her mind and to ignore the ache between her legs. She was about to ask him the same thing when Fin and Munch walked into the squad room. That ended the conversation. One thing Elliot and Olivia had agreed on was that they were definitely going to keep this between the two of them. There was too much at stake and they had to be careful not to let anything slip.

They all grouped together and discussed a case that Fin and Munch had caught over the weekend. They were gathered around the board, while Fin filled them in on the vic and her description of what had happened.

They were interrupted by someone calling out Olivia's name. "Delivery for Olivia Benson."

Olivia stood up and saw a young kid with a flower delivery. She shot a quick glance at Elliot and then back to the flowers. "I'm Olivia Benson." The kid had her sign his clipboard and handed her the flowers. She set them on her desk and peeled back he wrapping, uncovering a dozen, long stemmed red roses.

"Whoa!" said Fin. "Someone's got a new boyfriend."

"A dozen red roses? He must have hit a home run this weekend." Said Munch, wiggling his eyebrows.

"Shut up Munch." Said Elliot, clearly annoyed.

"What?" said Munch. "I'm not shelling out that kind of money unless I get laid." He turned to Olivia. "Care to share the details?"

Olivia shot him a dirty look.

"What? I have to live vicariously through you."

Fin threw a wadded up piece of paper at Munch and Elliot told him to shut up again.

Olivia pretty much ignored them as she opened up the card.

 _Oliva. Thanks for a wonderful weekend. Looking forward to spending more time with you. Adam._

Olivia groaned inwardly. She'd completely forgotten about Adam. She sat down in her chair. She felt incredibly guilty. She had had Adam in her apartment yesterday afternoon. She'd been kissing him and making plans with him. And just a few hours later, she was telling Elliot that she loved him. She sighed. She felt horrible about how she had used Adam. She hadn't really intended to. She really was trying to move on. She had to call him.

She grabbed her phone and stood up. "I'll be right back." She said. She risked a glance at Elliot and saw a look in his eyes that she couldn't quite place. A mix of anger and jealousy? She wasn't sure.

"Going to call lover boy?" asked Munch.

"Shut up Munch." Said Fin and Elliot simultaneously.

Olivia walked out into the hall and dialed Adam's number. He answered on the second ring, and Olivia felt horrible when she heard the happiness in his voice.

"Hi Olivia. They must have delivered the roses." He said. "I hope you liked them."

"I did. Thank you. That was very sweet." She said.

"You're very welcome. So is there any particular night that works better for you this week?" Adam asked. "I found a new restaurant that I want to try."

"Adam…" Olivia started. "I'm really sorry, but…" This was harder than she thought it would be. She'd broken dates before; broken off relationships before. But this seemed different.

"If you can't go this week, I understand. Just pick a day and I'll be there."

God, he was making this even harder. "It's not that. I really had a good time with you Adam, but something's come up and I'm just not going to be able to go out with you."

She heard Adam hesitate on the other end of the line. "But I don't understand. I thought we were getting along great. Just yesterday…I mean, everything seemed fine when I left."

"I know. I'm sorry." Olivia didn't know what else to say. "I'm sorry."

"Can we get together and have a drink at least? Talk about this?"

"Adam. I don't think that's a good idea." Olivia said. Olivia saw Elliot poke his head around the door, one eyebrow raised. "Adam, I have to go. I'm really sorry." She hung up the phone and headed back into the squad room.

"Everything OK?" Elliot asked. He must have known she was talking to Adam.

She nodded. "I guess."

They rejoined the discussion about the case and Munch didn't say another word to her. She didn't notice until a little later that the flowers were gone.

EOEOEOEOEO

They'd been working through the case, and had divided up responsibilities. Elliot and Olivia were going to go and re-canvass the neighborhood.

"Do you want to grab some lunch on the way?" Elliot asked.

Olivia shrugged. "Sure." She smiled at Elliot across from her. She was surprised how easy it was to slip back into their normal modes at work. No one would have ever guessed that they'd been making out like horny teenagers on her couch last night.

They left the precinct and headed out. When they got to the restaurant, they ordered their usual and settled in.

"So." Said Elliot. 'I assume those flowers were from Adam?"

Olivia nodded.

"Was that who you were talking to in the hallway?"

"You'll make a good detective one day." Olivia joked.

"Funny." Elliot said, making a face at her. "So what did you tell him?"

"What do you think I told him?" Olivia asked. Elliot didn't say anything. He just stared at her. "I told him that I couldn't see him anymore."

"And what did he say?" Elliot asked.

Olivia shrugged. She didn't really want to get into this with Elliot.

"You can't tell me?" he asked.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "What does it matter?"

"What happened to total honesty?"

"Elliot. It doesn't matter. It's done." She saw he was still just staring at her. "He wasn't happy. He didn't understand what had changed since yesterday."

Elliot looked at her for a moment. "I bet. Did you sleep with him?"

Olivia was shocked by the question. "What?"

"It's not a tough question. He was over at your apartment yesterday."

"I just met him less than a week ago. It was our second date."

Elliot shrugged. "I don't know about your personal life."

Olivia shook her head. She was upset that Elliot thought she'd slept with Adam already, but she had to admit that she'd had the occasional one night stand. And she did keep the details of her personal life from Elliot. She herself had a hard time believing she'd been kissing Adam, and then a few hours later, she'd been kissing Elliot. She didn't really owe him an answer, but she didn't want to start things this way.

"I'm trying really hard to not be extremely pissed off with you right now." Olivia said, her hands flat on the table. "It's really none of your business, but I did _not_ sleep with Adam."

Elliot visibly relaxed. This morning, when the flowers had arrived, he had known they were from Adam. And he really hadn't thought much of it until Munch said something. And then it was all he could think about. He tried to talk himself out of asking her, but the thought wouldn't leave his mind. He pictured Olivia kissing Adam…maybe taking him to bed, and he couldn't stop himself.

"Liv. I'm sorry." He scrubbed his hand over his face. "I know it's none of my business but I just had to ask. I just had to know."

"Yeah? Well, don't get used to it. I'm not about to tell you my entire sexual history." She relaxed a little.

"I'll tell you mine." Elliot said.

Olivia laughed, because she knew he'd only ever slept with Kathy. "Somehow I don't think that's an even trade."

They finished up their lunch and headed out to get back to work.

 _Thanks for reading. Please leave a review. I love to hear your thoughts!_


	12. Chapter 12

_Hey everyone! Happy USA SVU Marathon day! Watching SVU all day and writing is one of the best things. Thanks as always to_ _ **writersrefinery**_ _for proofing this chapter and providing feedback on it before I posted it. I hope you enjoy!_

EOEOEOEO

They were headed over to the East Side to conduct their interviews when Elliot's phone rang.

"Stabler." He glanced over at Olivia in the passenger seat. "Oh. Hey Kath." He had left a message a little earlier, asking her to call him back. He wanted to try to get together to talk to her tonight if possible.

Olivia looked out the window, trying hard not to listen in. She felt a small wave of guilt wash over her, even though she know she hadn't done anything wrong. Well, hadn't done much. She _had_ kissed Elliot. But she hadn't slept with him. She blew out a breath through her pursed lips. She shouldn't have to make such distinctions…married was married.

She stole a glance over at Elliot. She certainly hoped he was going to talk to Kathy soon. She been having unwholesome thoughts about Elliot…not that any of those thoughts were new…but she honestly didn't know how long she was going to be able to hold off. She blew out another breath and worked hard at not listening to his conversation.

He hung up the phone and sighed heavily.

"Everything OK?" Olivia asked.

"Yeah." Elliot sighed again. "I'm going to talk to her tonight."

Olivia nodded, that small twinge of guilt still present. She took a deep breath. "El…" she said softly. "Are you sure?"

Elliot wished he could pull the car over and look at Olivia but they were stuck in traffic. He reached over and snagged her hand, hating the sound of uncertainty in her voice. "Liv. I'm sure. This isn't something new. This is something that's been happening for a long time, despite our unwillingness to see it. Or to do anything about it. But now that I know that you feel the same way. God Liv. I'm sure."

"OK." She said quietly, looking out the window.

They reached their destination about twenty minutes later and Elliot found a spot to park. The rest of the ride had been quiet and Elliot looked over at Olivia after he put the car in park. She was still looking out the window.

"Liv."

"Yeah." She looked over at him and gave him a small smile.

"What are you thinking right now?"

"I'm thinking about the case." She lied. She didn't want to tell Elliot that she was nervous about his conversation with Kathy. She knew that Kathy had always had her suspicions about their relationship, and she didn't know how the conversation was going to go.

"Bull."

Olivia sighed. Sometimes she hated that Elliot knew her so well. "What are you going to tell Kathy?" she asked.

Elliot raised an eyebrow at her. "I'm going to tell her I want a divorce. I already told you." He didn't want to tell Olivia about the hopefulness he'd heard in Kathy's voice when he told her that he wanted to talk to her. He could tell that Kathy was hoping he was going to tell her that he was ready to come home. If he told Olivia that…she'd push him to give it another try, despite what it cost her. Cost them.

"Are you going to tell her about us?" Olivia asked.

"Liv. I'm not going to change my mind." He tried to reassure her. But honestly he hadn't really thought about what he was going to tell Kathy. He was just going to have to see how it played out. It might be too much at once, but he also knew it would do any good to drag it out.

Olivia pressed her lips together and nodded. She wasn't sure she believed him. She knew Elliot believed in family…in his obligations. And that despite how much he claimed her loved her, there was always a risk that he would go back. That he wouldn't be able to go through with it. So she'd just have to wait to see what happened and try not to get her hopes up.

Elliot could see every emotion that crossed her face, but he also knew there wasn't anything else he could say to reassure her. He wouldn't be able to put her at ease until after he'd talked to Kathy.

The both got out of the car and started their work. Benson and Stabler once again.

EOEOEOEO

Elliot stood up from his desk and looked over at Olivia. "I'm headed out. Want me to drop you off?" he asked. The fact that he was offering to dropping of his' girlfriend' on the way to tell his wife he wanted a divorce made him feel a little twinge of guilt, but it passed quickly. His marriage was over.

"No." she said.

He had known she wouldn't accept. He wanted to ask her if he could stop over later, or at least give her a call, but Minch and Fin were still there. So he looked at her a few seconds longer, hoping she knew that he would be in touch.

"I'll talk to you later." She said, giving him a small smile.

EOEOEOEO

Elliot started his drive out to Queens, trying to decide how he was going to have this conversation with Kathy. He was also trying to decide where to have the conversation. If they talked at the house, all of the kids would be there, and he didn't want them to hear the discussion. Especially because he assumed that Kathy would be upset. But if they went out to dinner, then they'd be self-conscious of the people around them. He decided that he was going to be selfish son of a bitch as usual and suggest they go out.

He pulled up to the curb in front of his house and put the car in park. He sat there, looking at the house. He remembered when he and Kathy had purchased this house. He remembered bringing each of his children home from the hospital. He thought about backyard B-B-Q's, playing soccer and catch with the kids, hosting birthday parties and Thanksgiving dinners, Christmas morning. So many great memories. His family defined a big part of who he was. He thought about Kathy. He thought about the moment she had told him that she was pregnant, tears in her eyes as she asked him what they were going to do. Elliot hadn't hesitated. He had told her they were going to get married right away. He never even questioned it. He loved Kathy…he was excited about a family. He was never concerned about how they were going to make it. He would provide for his family. He would be a man and be responsible. And they had been happy here. Until Olivia came along.

It started slowly. When he'd been partnered with her, he had been nervous because she looked young and inexperienced. She was tall but lean; how was this woman going to be able to back him up? And he couldn't ignore the fact that she was stunning…and he just didn't know how that was going to play out in a unit like SVU. All the creeps and pervs. He smiled at the thought of her then. She was such a contradiction. He'd underestimated her toughness…she was a hell of a shot and he'd seen her fierceness on the street and in the interrogation room. But he'd also seen her use her beauty and charm against suspects, getting them to tell her what she wanted. And then her compassion…she connected with the victims like no other.

It was when all the sides of Olivia Benson started to show themselves that he'd probably started falling for her. Before he ever even knew it. Of course, it had made itself more obvious in later years, as they became so interdependent on each other that sometimes he didn't know how he'd ever survive if they had to be separated. Before he understood that he was falling in love with her.

He loved Kathy…he always would. But now he was _in love_ with Olivia.

He saw the front door open and Kathy stepped out on to the porch. He saw the worried expression on her face and realized he must have been sitting in the car longer than he thought. He opened the door and walked up the steps, putting his hand on her shoulders and kissing her on the cheek.

"Hey Kath."

"Long day?" she asked, assuming he was trying to decompress in the car after a long day.

He shrugged. "Same as any other."

She nodded, knowing he wouldn't tell her about his day even if she asked. He had always been committed to keeping his work life out of the house. She turned and walked back into the house, but stopped when Elliot hesitated.

"The kids are out. I had Maureen take them out for pizza and ice cream."

Elliot nodded and headed into the house behind her. They walked into the kitchen and Elliot leaned against the counter as Kathy opened the refrigerator. She grabbed a beer and handed it to Elliot and then grabbed a glass of wine from the counter. Elliot found himself wondering how many glasses she'd had before he got there.

Kathy leaned against the counter across from him, and he could see that she had lost the hopefulness he had heard in her voice earlier in the day. He knew she must have seen the look on his face as he came into the house. He wanted to say something, but he didn't know what to say to ease the blow.

"You're not ready to come home yet, are you?" she asked quietly.

The wording hit him hard. That word…yet.

"Kathy." Elliot dropped his head and sighed heavily.

"It's OK El. You know, if you need some more time." Kathy said.

Elliot looked up at her and saw that she was trying to smile. Now he really felt like an ass. She had no idea that he was about to pull the rug out from underneath her. His eyes darted back and forth between hers and he knew he had to just tell her.

"Kathy. It's not that I'm not ready to come home yet." He saw the smile drop from her face and she took another sip of wine and pressed her lips together, just staring at him. "I've been trying to sort everything out." He hesitated before delivering the final blow. "I…Kathy." He ran a hand over his face. "I'm not coming home."

Kathy visibly swallowed, wrapping one arm across her stomach and propping her other arm against it, holding the glass of wine. "For how long?"

Elliot shook his head. "I can't come home Kath. I've thought about it and I just need to move on."

Elliot saw Kathy's visibly blanch. He knows now that she hadn't been expecting that. She'd been expecting another delay…more reasons why he needed more time. But not that he wanted out. He pushed himself off the counter and started to move towards her but she held up her hand.

"Don't." she said. He could see she was trying to process what he was saying. He leaned back against the counter and waited while she collected herself. She wasn't looking at him; her eyes were focused on the floor. After a minute of silence she looked up at him and he could see her eyes were glassy.

"Move on? You're ready to move on?" She hissed. "What does that mean?"

"I think we should get divorced." He said quietly.

"I get that, but that's not what you said." Kathy said. "You said you were ready to move on." She set her mouth in a hard line. "Have you?"

"Have I what?"

"Moved on." She said, her voice escalating slightly.

"Kathy."

"Just answer the question." She yelled, a little hysteria in her voice.

Elliot just stood and looked at her, trying to decide how he was going to answer her. He obviously waited a few seconds too long

"Who is it?" she pushed herself off the counter and stared into his eyes. She repeated the question, her tone bordering on full hysterics now. "WHO IS IT?"

Elliot still couldn't answer her. He was watching her face…at the tears streaming down her cheeks and he shook his head. He couldn't say it. But he knew that she already knew.

Before he could react, she had thrown the glass at him. "You son of a bitch!" she yelled. She came at him then, fury in her eyes, and she slapped him hard across the face. Then she fisted her hands and pounded against his chest, crying and calling him a son of a bitch over and over again and he let her. He knew he had hurt her and he honestly didn't know what to say. She finally stopped and turned away, still sobbing.

Elliot put a hand out and reached for her as she walked away. "Kathy."

She whirled around to face him. "Don't touch me." She hissed. She walked back across the room and placed her hands palm down on the counter, straightening her arms. Her head dropped down and he could hear her crying.

Elliot didn't know what to say or do, so he waited her out. After a few minutes, she turned around to face him.

"All these years, I thought I was crazy. I knew what was happening, but every time I asked you, you _swore_ nothing was going on between you two!" She said. Her voice had an eerie calm to it, and that was almost more unnerving to Elliot. "Why do you think I asked you to get a new partner?" She shook her head. "I could see what was happening. And you let me think I was being neurotic."

"Kathy."

Kathy shook her head. "How long?"

Elliot got a confused look on his face. "What?"

"How long have you been sleeping with her?" She put her hands on her hips. "I have a right to know."

Elliot put up his hands. "No! Kathy, Olivia and I aren't sleeping together. We've never…"

Kathy interrupted him, a strangled laugh escaping. "Well, don't be surprised if I don't believe you Elliot." She shook her head. "Haven't you already lied to me long enough?"

Elliot took a step towards her but stopped. He could see she didn't want him any closer by her body language. "Kathy. I swear to you. I _never_ cheated on you. With Olivia or anyone else."

"She's been in our _home_. She's been at family events. She's helped out with the _kids_." Kathy ran her hands through her hair. "Oh my God. She was probably laughing at me the whole time. I'm here, taking care of your kids and your house, while you and Olivia are off having a good time." She moved over to the table and sat down in one of the chairs. "I've been such a fool."

Elliot moved over to the table and sat down across from her. "Kathy. No." he said quietly. "Never. Olivia respects you. She was always the one that sent me home to you…"

"Excuse me Elliot if I don't want to hear about how wonderful your girlfriend is." She put her head in her hands. "You know what sucks Elliot? I always liked Olivia. I still do. I'm just so mad at myself for not listening to that little voice in my head that told me something was going on." She looked up at Elliot. "For _trusting_ you."

"Kathy. I swear to you. I never lied to you. Olivia and I are partners. We never cheated…we never even considered it. It was just in the last day that we even talked about…"

Kathy stood up quickly, pushing her chair back. She put up her hand. "I don't want to listen to this crap anymore."

Elliot stood up too, and started walking towards her, his shoes crunching the broken glass. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you."

Kathy stopped and started at him. "Yeah? Well, you did."

"It wasn't going to work Kathy. We were headed towards divorce. That didn't have anything to do with Olivia."

Kathy gave him an incredulous look. "Do you really believe that Elliot? Because I don't." She put her hands on her hips. "Get the hell out. I can't talk to you anymore." She swiped her hands across her cheeks, wiping away the tears that were streaming down her cheeks. She turned around so she wasn't facing him any longer.

Elliot shook his head. He didn't know if what she said was true. Would he be getting divorced if it weren't for Olivia? There was no way to really know…he'd like to believe his marriage was ending because it had run its course. That they were married too young…had turned into different people…wanted different things. Those things were all true. But would have fought harder if he hadn't fallen in love with Olivia? He didn't know the answer to that. And he didn't know what to do right now. He didn't want to leave but part of him knew she needed some time.

"Kath…I'm going to go. But I want to talk some more."

"Just leave." She said, resignation in her voice.

"I'm sorry Kathy." He took a step towards her, resting a hand lightly on her shoulder. "You don't know how sorry I am that I hurt you." He stood there for a moment until she shrugged his hand off her shoulder. He hesitated a moment and then turned to leave. "I'll call you later." He said.

"Don't bother." She muttered.

He walked to the door and then turned. He saw her kneeling on the floor, cleaning up the broken glass. "I'll call you later." He said, and then pushed out the door.

Elliot got into the car and shut the door. He didn't start the car, unsure about what to do next. He knew he needed to leave before the kids came home. He didn't want to answer a bunch of questions when he didn't have the answers. And he knew he had to call Olivia. But he didn't know if he was ready to talk to her either.

He started the car and drove off, heading back towards the city. Luckily, at this time of the day, the worst of the traffic was headed out of the city. He made good time back to Manhattan, but he still couldn't go to Olivia's. He parked near his apartment and got out of the car. He leaned against the door, his arms resting on the roof of the car, and sighed. He didn't want to his apartment either; he didn't want to be alone. He was so confused. He pushed off the car and headed down the block. Maybe a drink would help him relax so he could figure out what to do next…

 _Thanks for reading! Please leave a review. I always love to hear from everyone and it gives me inspiration to continue._


	13. Chapter 13

_No preamble. Just enjoy!_

EOEOEOEO

Olivia was trying to stay busy with some paperwork she'd brought home with her, but she couldn't stop checking the time. Every time she glanced at her watch, only ten or fifteen minutes had passed. The last time she checked, it was almost 8, and she was really surprised she hadn't heard from Elliot. He had to have made it to Queens no later than 6, and she couldn't imagine that his discussion with Kathy had gone this long. She let out a sigh and headed towards the kitchen to pour herself another glass of wine. This was her third, but who was counting. She couldn't deny she was a nervous wreck. As much as she'd told herself not to get her hopes up…that Elliot might still decide to go back home if his Catholic guilt got the best of him… she was dying to see him walk through that door and tell her it was over for he and Kathy.

She leaned against the counter and took a sip of wine, trying to keep herself from texting him or calling him. She knew it was a bad idea. What if he was still at Kathy's? No…there was no way she could text him. She rubbed her hand on the back of her neck, trying to relieve the tension. Maybe she'd take a nice, long hot bath and try to relax.

EOEOEOEO

Elliot sat down on a stool at the bar. He'd been to this bar several times since he'd moved into his apartment. He'd even been here a few times with Olivia. The bartender recognized him right away.

"Hey Elliot. Ready for a beer?"

"Yeah Joe. It's been a long day." Elliot rested his forearms on the bar and leaned forward, feeling the stress of the day catch up with him.

"Where's that beautiful partner of yours?" he asked. "She makes all the guys here stay for just a little longer, and my sales go up." He winked at Elliot, but Elliot just ignored him. Joe raised an eyebrow but kept silent, pouring Elliot's beer. He set it in front of him and walked off to help someone else, leaving Elliot to brood in silence.

Elliot thought back to his discussion with Kathy. He was still confused about what had happened. Kathy was the one that had asked him to leave; told him to move out until he could figure out his priorities. She had told him that they had changed…both of them. She had told him she wasn't sure if she could go on with the way things were. That she needed more than to be a housewife and a mother, waiting for him to come home. He had been against it at first. It had been a big adjustment. He thought his family defined him and he felt like a complete failure. And yet, as time passed, he realized life did go on. He and Kathy had been amicable the entire time they were separated. He'd made time for the kids, going to dinners at the house and having them to his apartment. It had seemed like everyone was adjusting to the new reality.

So when had it changed? When did Kathy decide that they were going to get back together? When he spoke to Kathy this morning, she'd sounded so hopeful. Had he led her to believe that he was going to come home? Was there something he'd done or said that made her believe they could make a life together again? He had been so surprised when they were talking in the kitchen and she had asked if he was ready to come home yet. Looking back, he realizes that when she had asked him to leave and figure out his priorities, that maybe she had always expected that he'd come back. That he would decide his wife and his kids were his priorities. That he would leave SVU…find something else that would allow him to be home more. Leave Olivia.

Instead, he told her that he had chosen Olivia.

He knocked back the rest of his beer and signaled for another one. He put his elbows on the bar and buried his face in his hands. What the hell was he doing? How could he hurt her like that?

Joe slid another beer in front of Elliot. "Looks like you got something on your mind."

"Nah." Said Elliot, taking a long drink and emptying half the bottle.

"None of my business, but does this have anything to do with a certain long-legged, dark-eyed beauty I know?"

Elliot looked up at him, his eyes narrowing. What the hell did this guy know? He was just a bartender, and he and Olivia had been in here together only a few times.

Joe put his hands up, knowing Elliot's temper. "Like I said, none of my business." He pulled another beer out of the cooler and handed it to Elliot, seeing his was almost gone. "But I've seen you two together. Seems like…" Elliot's eyes narrowed again and Joe decided not to finish his sentence. "I'll just leave you to it." He said as he walked to the other side of the bar.

Olivia. _I'm in love with Olivia_.

He had always known there was something between them…he had always wondered if there could be more. He had always thought there could be, but he never believed Olivia would admit her feelings to him. And the fact that she had told him first…it surprised the hell out of him. That she would take that risk…potentially losing their partnership…their friendship. Without knowing how he would respond. Without knowing if he felt the same way. She wouldn't take those things lightly. She would have thought through all of it very carefully, weighing all of the pros and cons…always analyzing the potential repercussions. The fact that she had believed it was worth the risk spoke volumes. She believed in them.

He wanted her…in every way. He wanted to hold her. He wanted to spoil her. He wanted to be there for her at the end of every long day…every tough case. He wanted to wake up in the morning and have her curled up next to him. He wanted to sit across from her at breakfast and see her with her hair messed and no make-up on. He wanted to see her eyes dark with lust, and he wanted to hear her moan his name as he made her come.

 _Christ_. He could picture her as she lay beneath him last night on her couch. He could feel her respond to him…he could feel how their bodies fit together perfectly.

He took another long drink of his beer, almost draining the bottle. He couldn't get those images out of his head. He closed his eyes…he could picture her…her smile that lit up her face…her dark eyes watching him...those long legs as she strode next to him, always in sync with him. Their rhythm perfectly matched.

He emptied his beer and slammed the bottle down on the bar. He waved Joe over. "I need another one."

"Don't you think maybe you should head home?" Joe asked. Elliot had slammed those three beers pretty quickly, and while he was a big guy, Joe could tell her was not in a good frame of mind.

"Just give me another one."

Joe shook his head and opened another beer, sliding it across the open space on the bar. "OK, but you're not driving home."

"I walked. I just live down the block." Elliot put the beer to his lips and took a drink. He sighed heavily. He wanted to be with Olivia, but the guilt over hurting Kathy and his family was driving him to question whether or not he could leave them. He decided he might just need a few more of these tonight to end these torturous thoughts.

EOEOEOEO

Olivia soaked in the tub, closing her eyes as she listened to some soft music and smelling the scent of the candles she had lit. She took another sip of wine and thought about Elliot. She knew it had to be almost 9 by now, and she was trying to squelch the feeling of panic as time went on without hearing from him. She knew she had taken a big risk by telling him how she felt, but she felt she'd had to. She couldn't pretend any more. She didn't want to go through any more relationships…pretending to feel something when in fact, no one could take Elliot's place.

She wasn't surprised when he told her he loved her…she had thought he felt the same way. But she had been surprised at how quickly he'd agreed to ask Kathy for a divorce. She thought it was the right decision to refuse to go farther until he had filed…but now she was worried that he wasn't going to go ahead with it. And she wanted to make love to Elliot…at least just once. She knew it would be amazing. The way she felt when he had kissed her was indescribable and she knew their lovemaking would be like nothing she'd ever experienced before. Despite that…she knew it was smart to wait until everything was resolved.

She didn't know how she was going to react at the precinct tomorrow if she didn't hear from him tonight. There would be too many unanswered questions hanging between them, and even though they had agreed to keep their personal life out of the squad room, it would be difficult to work together. She took another sip of wine and closed her eyes again, trying to take her mind off Elliot.

She lounged for a few minutes longer, lathering her body and rinsing off. She finished her glass of wine and set her glass on the floor before she stood and grabbed a towel. As she was drying off, she snagged her phone off the bathroom counter just to make sure she hadn't received a call or a text. She pursed her lips together when she saw that she didn't have any new messages.

She was wrapping a white knit robe around her when she heard knocking at her door. She paused briefly, her heart in her chest…it could only be Elliot. She dropped the towel in her hand as she rushed to the door. She looked through the peephole and saw him standing there, his arms braced against the doorframe and his head down slightly. She unlocked the door and swung it open.

"Elliot."

He looked up and his breath hitched slightly when he saw her standing there. She'd obviously just gotten out of the shower…her hair was damp and her cheeks were flushed. He couldn't stop his eyes from taking her in…his eyes roaming her body. The short, cotton robe hugged her curves, and ended high on her thighs, leaving her long, tan legs exposed. His mouth went dry as he realized she was naked beneath and he felt his body already reacting to her. His eyes moved up to hers and he saw her watching him.

"Liv." He said, his voice a hoarse whisper. "Can I come in?"

Olivia hesitated. She was so relieved to see him, but she could tell he had been drinking. And she wasn't sure what to read into that…she assumed that meant tonight had been rough. She didn't know what that meant.

She swallowed hard. She was a little afraid to let him in. She didn't know where his mind was, or hers.

"Liv." He reached for her then, and stumbled slightly when he misjudged the distance. Olivia grabbed his arm and steadied him. He walked in and she pushed the door closed. When she turned back towards him, he reached for her again. He placed his hands on her shoulders and then slid them up to her cheeks.

"Liv." He cupped her face and leaned in to kiss her. His lips brushed gently against hers and Olivia closed her eyes.

"I didn't think you were coming back." Olivia whispered.

Elliot kissed her a little more deeply, threading one of his hands through her hair. He trailed his mouth down to her ear and rasped out. "I'm here."

Her back connected with the wall and Elliot moved back to her mouth, tilting her head and opening her mouth with his. He moaned as his tongue met Olivia's and she could taste the beer he'd obviously had tonight.

His hands ran over her shoulders and down her arms until the landed at her waist. He squeezed her lightly and then ran one hand along the tie of her robe until he reached the knot. He put his hand and tugged on it lightly, and Olivia placed her hand over his.

"Elliot" she rasped. It would be so easy to give in to what they both wanted, but this isn't how she wanted this to happen. Elliot was clearly drunk, and she didn't have any idea what had happened with Kathy.

Elliot dropped his mouth to her neck, and he placed small, open mouth kisses against her skin. "You taste wonderful." He mumbled against her skin and she closed her eyes. He was kissing and sucking and driving her mad…she could feel her body responding to his mouth and his touch. God, she wanted that mouth all over her body. She moaned and Elliot started to trail his tongue down towards her breasts, once against tugging at the knot of her robe.

"Elliot" She pushed against his head with her free hand. "Stop."

Elliot's mouth hummed against her skin and he didn't relent. He dropped his hand from the knot on her robe and trailed his hands down her hips until he reached the skin of her thighs. He let his fingers dance along the skin there before he spread his hands flat on her thighs, and slid them up, taking the robe with them.

Olivia moaned again, letting her head fall back against the wall and closing her eyes again. Elliot's hands were on her bare hips now and he started massaging the smooth skin there. His mouth moved back to hers and he pulled her hips towards him, pressing his arousal against her. The ache between her legs was undeniable and she knew it would be so easy to let Elliot take her. She wanted him to…but she needed to know what the future held for them. And Elliot was in no shape to have that discussion.

"El." She pushed at his shoulders. "Stop." Elliot either didn't hear her, or was ignoring her. She pushed against him harder and he stumbled backwards, losing all contact with her. He knocked into a small table, knocking some things to the floor and it was then that Olivia realized how really drunk he was.

He fell back against the wall opposite her and looked over at her as she stood staring at him. Her face and chest were flushed and she was breathing heavily. He tried to straighten up, steadying himself with his hands.

"Olivia." He rasped out. "I…God, I want you so much."

"Elliot. You're drunk." Olivia pulled her robe tighter around her, feeling exposed as she stood there.

"I'm not that drunk Liv." He smirked. "It's not going to be a problem."

Olivia shook her head. That ego. "That's not what I'm worried about." She pushed up off the wall and took one step towards him. "Is this how you really want this to happen?" she asked. She didn't know if she really expected him to answer, but the answer should have been unequivocally no.

Elliot stood in place, blinking a few times. He swallowed hard. She was so goddamned sexy standing there in that robe, and he could see how aroused she was. And he was hard as hell…was that a trick question?

Olivia was starting to get pissed off. He was clearly too drunk to think clearly. She took another step towards him. "You asshole." She pushed his shoulder and he fell back against the wall again. "I've been waiting to hear from you all night. Wondering if we have a future together. And you go to a bar and get drunk? And then you show up here, expecting me just to fall into bed with you?"

She stood staring at him and Elliot's mind was reeling from the change from just a few minutes ago. He'd been kissing her and he could tell she wanted him…but now she was yelling at him. He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts but all of his blood was pooled elsewhere and he couldn't think clearly.

"Elliot." Olivia said again. "Do you even understand what I'm saying?"

"Yeah." Eliot finally answered, even though the only thing he could focus on was her mouth…God he wanted to kiss her again.

Olivia shook her head. "I can't talk to you like this. You need to sleep this off." She was so frustrated, and so angry with him. She needed to know what was going on and he was in no shape to tell her. Between all of the unanswered questions…and her own aroused state…she knew she wasn't going to get any sleep tonight.

Elliot pushed himself off the wall and reached for her. "I'm sorry Liv. Don't be mad at me."

Olivia shrugged his hands from her shoulders. "You can sleep on the couch Elliot." She said. "Do you think you can manage that?" she asked. She turned her back to him and walked over to her closet. She pulled out a pillow and blanket and walked over to the couch. She looked over at him standing there and she knew he wasn't fully aware of what was going on. She shook her head, upset at how this night had turned out.

"Good night Elliot." She said. She went into her room and shut the door. She pulled on her pajama shorts and a tank top and crawled into bed. She heard him stumble into the coffee table and swear lightly. She heard his shoes drop on the floor and heard some other rustling around before it got quiet. And then she knew he had most likely passed out on the couch. She lay awake for another 20 minutes before she went out to check on him. She wasn't surprised to see that he was lying on the couch fully clothed, without the pillow or blanket she had left for him. She shook her head again and pulled the blanket over him. She was upset with him, but she didn't really know what had happened tonight that had sent him to the bar. She sighed and ran her hand through her hair. She leaned over and gave him a kiss on the cheek, and he didn't even stir.

"I love you El." She whispered quietly before going back to bed.

 _Thanks for reading! Please leave a review. I'll love you forever!_


	14. Chapter 14

_Hey everyone. Thanks for continuing to read. Luckily, I've been able to get some pretty regular updates out and I'll try to keep it up until this story ends. Thanks for your continued readership and your reviews._

Olivia tossed and turned, unable to get comfortable. Her mind was racing, wondering what the hell had happened tonight that had made Elliot decide to get drunk. It didn't bode well for them. If it had been an easy discussion with Kathy, he wouldn't have felt the need to drink.

She flipped over again and looked at the clock. She saw that it wasn't even 10 yet. No wonder she wasn't tired. She pulled a book from her nightstand and tried to focus on the pages in front of her…trying to stop thoughts about what could have been if she had let Elliot into her bed tonight.

EOEOEOEO

Elliot opened his eyes slowly, sensing something was off. He quickly realized that he wasn't in his own bed, and that he was fully clothed. He sat up, swiping one hand across his face as he swung his legs around. His legs connected with something solid and he reached out in the darkness to see what he'd hit. He realized it was a small table and his eyebrows knit together…he didn't have a table in his living room. He shook his head while rubbing his eyes, trying to clear the sleep from his system, but he groaned at the ache in his head. Slowly, the events of last evening seeped back into his consciousness. He remembered his fight with Kathy…and then he remembered heading to the bar. It got a little fuzzy after that. He sat a moment, trying to recall what had happened after he left the bar. Images started to filter in…a cab ride…Olivia answering the door….Liv in that curve hugging robe. His head snapped up as he remembered kissing her and pushing her up against the wall and… _Christ._ He was in Olivia's apartment. He was on Olivia's couch. It all came rushing back. She had pushed him off her. Told him to stop. She was angry.

 _Goddamnit!_ What had he been thinking?

The answer is…he hadn't been thinking. At all. He'd just been consumed with an overwhelming desire to see her. He'd fought with his thoughts all night at the bar, alternating between what he wanted and his sense of obligation. But in his drunken stupor, he'd let his want control him. And he wanted Olivia.

He put his head in his hands. He'd shown up here…hadn't told her a damn thing…and then tried to get her in bed. _What an ass_. Of course she had pushed him away. He was surprised she hadn't kicked him out completely. All this talk about it being about more than sex and what had he done? Pushed his way in, drunk off his ass, and pawed her like some horny frat boy.

God, his head hurt. And he had to use the bathroom. He glanced over in the direction of Olivia's bedroom. He knew her bathroom was through her bedroom, and he knew that there was no way he was going to be able to sneak through without waking her up. She was a cop for chrissakes. He pulled his phone out of his pocket to see what time it was. 445AM.

 _Great._

He debated leaving. Just get back to his apartment, use the bathroom, take some aspirin and go back to bed. But he knew he couldn't do that either. He had to talk to Liv before they went to work. He couldn't just sneak out in the middle of the night without seeing her. Without apologizing. Without telling her what happened. She'd needed to know.

He stood up…he didn't have any option but to try to sneak by her and get to the bathroom. He tried to walk up to her door as quietly as possible, but of course, he nicked another table and heard something clatter to the surface. _Damn it._

Her door was closed. He listened closely, trying to determine if he heard any movement from inside. Surely, the noise he was making had woken her up. She was a single woman, living alone…and a cop. She probably had her gun drawn. He paused, letting that thought sink in. Hopefully she remembered he was out here.

"Just come in Elliot." He heard her say in an annoyed tone. "I'm already awake."

Elliot pushed the door open slowly and had to cover his eyes as she snapped on a low light next to the bed. "Did I wake you?"

Olivia sat up in her bed, tucking the comforter underneath her arms. "What do you think?" She had a neutral expression on her face. "You're banging around out there. You don't think I'm going to wake up?"

"I'm sorry. I…" he gestured towards the bathroom, as if that explained his reason for waking her.

"Well, you don't need my permission." She said, lying back down and rolling over so her back was to him.

He hesitated a second. He wanted to say something but he really had to go to the bathroom. He moved over to the door and went in, closing the door behind me. After he finished and washed his hands, he opened her medicine cabinet to see if she had any aspirin. He wasn't surprised to see there wasn't much in there…typical Olivia. But she did have a large bottle of ibuprofen, so he popped open the cap and took a few.

He eyed her toothbrush…his breath was horrible after all the beers he'd had. But he knew that would _really_ be pushing it, so he grabbed the tube of toothpaste and squeezed some on his finger. He brushed it across his teeth and then spit in the sink. He splashed some cold water on his face and then looked in the mirror and sighed.

He was trying to decide if he should try to talk to Olivia, or if she would just shut him out. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. He had to try.

He opened the door quietly…he didn't want to wake her if she had fallen back asleep. He peeked into the room, and saw the light was still on. He hesitated after he walked back into the bedroom, watching her as she lay in bed. He could tell from her breathing that she was awake. He took a few steps towards the bed. "Liv?" he said quietly.

She didn't respond, so he took another step towards her bed. "Liv?"

She let out a heavy sigh. "What?"

He was going to ask if she was awake, but realized that was a stupid question. He hesitated before he spoke. He wanted to tell her everything that had happened…but he wasn't sure if she wanted to hear it. Especially at this time of the morning.

She rolled over slightly and turned her head to look at him. "What?"

Elliot took another step, so now he was just a couple feet from the bed. "Can we talk?"

Olivia rolled over the rest of the way, so she was lying on her back. She felt self-conscious with Elliot standing over her, so she sat up and scooted back against the headboard. She let out another heavy sigh. "What do you want to talk about?" she asked, crossing her arms under her breasts.

Elliot scrubbed his hands over his face. She wasn't going to make this easy on him. And his head was pounding. He needed coffee.

He nodded his head towards the kitchen. "I'm going to make some coffee." He wondered if she had any coffee in the house. "Can we talk out there?" He didn't think he could have this discussion in her bedroom. He needed to sit down, and sitting down next to her on the bed…especially with that curve hugging tank top she was wearing…was not going to happen.

That earned him another heavy sigh from her but she moved to get out of her bed, so he assumed that was agreement.

"Fine." She said. He could hear the anger in her voice as she moved past him. "You're lucky I have coffee in the house. Do you know what time it is?" She was really annoyed that Elliot had picked this time to have this discussion. She had barely slept at all last night…her mind running through a million different scenarios. So she was exhausted. And even though she knew they had to have this conversation before they went to work, she had hoped for just a little more sleep.

Elliot walked into the kitchen behind her. "Just show me where it is and I'll make it." He said.

She shot him a dirty look. "Just go sit down. You look like shit."

Elliot paused but didn't say anything. He'd been married long enough to know he was better off not saying anything. He turned and walked into the living room, claiming a spot on one corner of the couch.

Olivia stayed in the kitchen while the coffee brewed, so it was several minutes before she walked in carrying two mugs of coffee. Elliot tried to maintain eye contact, despite the amount of skin Olivia was showing right now. That tank top…her breasts straining against the fabric. And those long tan legs stretching out from those pajama shorts. He swallowed hard as she handed him the mug of coffee. He felt like a complete ass having those thoughts now. She sat on the other end of the couch and curled one leg beneath her. She grabbed the blanket and covered her legs, almost as if she could read is mind. Knowing Olivia, she probably could.

Once she had settled, she looked back over at Elliot. Her eyes looked back and forth between his, but she didn't say anything.

Elliot took a sip of coffee and then set the mug down on the coffee table. He looked over at Olivia and he could see how hard she was trying to keep her expression neutral. He didn't even know where to start with what he wanted to say to her. He decided he just had to start talking.

"Liv. I'm so sorry I barged in here last night." He kept looking at her, but she didn't say anything, so he continued. "And I'm sorry that I…" He motioned towards her, unsure of how to put words to what had happened. He thought about pushing her up against the wall…about having his hands on her bare skin…it all came rushing back in bits and pieces. "I mean…I'm not sorry for telling you that I want you." He scrubbed his hand over his face again. "I do want you." He groaned. This isn't coming out right." He shook his head. "Listen. I'm sorry that I showed up here drunk and that I had my hands all over you."

Olivia sighed. She couldn't hold back any longer. All of the questions that had been circling around in her mind since Elliot had shown up last night still needed to be answered. "What the hell happened last night Elliot? Why were you drunk in the first place?" Before Elliot could even respond, she launched into another tirade. "You show up here, kissing me and wanting to sleep with me. And I don't know what the hell is going on. Are you trying to have sex with me before you give me the horrible news that you're going back to your wife?"

"Liv. What? No!"

"Why else would you have felt the need to go get drunk last night? Why else wouldn't you have come over to talk to me?" She stood up. "If you're going to go back to your wife, just tell me. I'm a big girl. I can take it." She walked over towards the windows. "I didn't expect this to work out anyway." She wrapped her arms around her waist and leaned her head against the window.

Elliot stood up. "No. Liv." He walked up behind her and placed his hands lightly on her shoulders.

Olivia shrugged his hands off his shoulders and moved away from him, side stepping his body and turning back, taking refuge in her spot on the couch again. She tucked her knees up into her chest and wrapped her arms around them. "Just go Elliot." She didn't look at him. She had been telling herself not to get her hopes up…that these kinds of things didn't work out for her.

Elliot reclaimed his spot on the couch. "I'm not going anywhere." He dipped his head, trying to catch her eyes. "Liv, look at me."

Olivia slowly lifted her head and looked at him. He could see her eyes were glassy and he was sorry that he'd been the cause.

"I need you to listen to me. I want to tell you what happened last night." His eyes moved back and forth between hers, trying to gauge her reaction to what he was saying. She kept the same stoic expression, so he decided he was going to take that as acceptance.

He sat back and took a deep breath. "When Kathy called me back yesterday…after I had left her a message and asked if we could talk…I didn't tell you but she sounded so happy that I was coming over. I wasn't sure what that was all about but when I got there…well. She asked me if I was ready to come home."

Elliot saw Olivia pull her bottom lip into her mouth, biting down with her teeth. But she didn't say anything.

"I told her that I wasn't ready to come home. That I wasn't going to come home. And I couldn't believe it, but she seemed genuinely shocked. I was confused because she was the one that had asked _me_ to leave. She kicked _me_ out of the house." He swallowed and took a deep breath. "I told her I was ready to move on."

Olivia waited. She knew there was more. She wasn't sure if she wanted to hear it. She put up her hand, almost as a defensive gesture. "You don't have to tell me this."

"I want to tell you what happened. Why I ended up at the bar." Olivia didn't say anything else, so he kept going. "She asked me if I had already moved on. I couldn't answer." He ran a hand over his head. "But she knew." He whispered. "She knew."

Olivia' head jerked up. "What do you mean she knew?"

"She knew it was you. That I was in love with you."

"What did you tell her? Did you tell her that we never… That you never cheated on her?"

"Of course!" He hesitated. "But. She was upset Liv. She was really upset and I realized I really hurt her."

Olivia was nodding her head. "That must have been really hard."

Elliot shook his head. Olivia was always thinking about others…no matter the cost to her. "Liv. Just listen please. I need you to understand."

"I'm listening. I've been listening." Truthfully, she didn't want to listen to any more. She could hear the break in his voice and she knew that he was going to do the right thing. He always did the right thing. It was one of the things she loved about him. She wondered if she'd still be able to work by his side after she'd kissed him. Felt his mouth against her skin.

"Liv."

Olivia turned her attention back to him.

"She kicked me out of the house and I was just lost. I felt like such an asshole. I hurt a woman that had been a good wife and mother for over twenty years. I felt like I was such a selfish bastard. And I knew I had the potential to hurt you too. I just…I wasn't ready to talk to you yet. I had so many thoughts racing through my mind. So I went home." He let out a huge sigh. "But when I got home, I just didn't want to be alone. So I walked down the street and had a few beers. I tried to figure out what I should do. I tried to figure out what I wanted to do."

"El. It's OK." Olivia whispered, not trusting her voice. "I understand. I do. There's a reason we kept things the way they were for so long." She looked down at her hands clasped around her knees, not daring to look up at Elliot for fear some tears would escape her lower lashes.

"Liv. You're not listening to me." He moved over towards her on the couch, not invading her personal space, but moving close enough so she was forced to look up at him. "I'm here because I choose you. It wasn't even a question Liv. I'm done holding on to a marriage I don't want out of some sense of obligation. I love you. I want to be with you…if you still want me."

Olivia looked up, not quite believing what she'd heard.

"What?" she gasped, barely more than a whisper.

"Liv. My marriage is over. I'm in love with _you_."

 _Thanks for reading and please leave a review. I love to get the reviews from regular readers, but new readers are fun to hear from too!_


	15. Chapter 15

_OK this is your lucky day! I was able to get another chapter written today. I'm a little disappointed that more people aren't leaving a comment. I have no idea if people are losing interest in the story or not. Let me know!_

EOEOEOEO

Olivia could only stare at Elliot, trying to process what he said. Did he really just tell her that he was leaving his wife? That he was going through with the divorce? The internal voice in her head was telling her to move cautiously…that it was too good to be true.

"Liv? Say something." Elliot said, still staring intently into her eyes.

Olivia shook her head. "I don't know what to say."

Elliot leaned back. He didn't really know what to expect at this point. She was wearing that damn poker face and for once, he couldn't tell what was going through her mind.

Olivia ran her hands through her hair and sighed. "Are you sure?"

Elliot furrowed his brows together. "Of course I'm sure." He started to get worried. This could go two ways and right now, he didn't like the direction this was headed. He moved a little closer to Olivia and placed one hand over hers. "Were you listening to what I said?"

Olivia nodded. "Yes, I heard every word." She said softly.

"Then I don't understand. Did you change your mind about us?"

Olivia pressed her lips together. That was the million dollar question. Of course she hadn't changed her mind about that, but she also knew Elliot's sense of obligation to his family. And even though he was saying all the right things now, it was still too new. He had just talked with Kathy last night, and made a decision while he was drunk. He had shown up at her door last night, but she wasn't sure how much of that was lust vs. love. That didn't give her a lot of confidence that he'd thought it through completely.

"El. I told you how I feel. That hasn't changed." She bit her bottom lip and looked out the window. She could see the first signs of the sunrise start to light up the city. She took a deep breath. "I just think you need a day or two to think this through."

Elliot started to object but Olivia interrupted him. "Elliot. You had a fight with Kathy last night and you ended up in a bar. You come over here drunk and want me to fall into bed with you. Excuse me, but I just don't know that you were thinking that clearly last night." She reached out and grabbed his hand that had dropped from hers. "I just need you to be absolutely certain. I can't risk everything unless you're sure." She gave him a small smile. "A couple of days isn't going to make a difference. I'm not going anywhere."

Elliot squeezed her hand. "I don't need a couple of days to decide…"

"It's just a few…"

Olivia was interrupted by the ring of a cell phone. She raised an eyebrow, realizing it was Elliot's…and recognizing Cragen's ringtone.

"No. No. No." said Elliot, grabbing his phone off the table. "Not now." He let it go to voicemail.

Olivia raised an eyebrow. "Elliot! You can't ignore that. It means there's a victim out there." She stood up. "Besides, he's just going to call me next." Almost coincidentally, she heard her phone ringing in the other room.

"Liv." Elliot called after her as she moved towards the bedroom. "We need to finish this discussion."

Olivia pushed her way into her bedroom and snagged her phone. She heard Cragen on the other end.

"Olivia. Sorry to wake you so early, but we've got a victim over at Mercy. 17 year old girl. Mom woke her up this morning and noticed bruising and bleeding and brought her into the emergency room. I tried calling Elliot but he's not picking up."

"I'll get a hold of him. I'll be at Mercy in a half hour." She hung up the phone and sighed. She wanted to finish the conversation with Elliot but there was no way she was going to make a rape victim wait. She moved towards the door and leaned against the doorframe.

"El."

Elliot turned his head towards her.

"We have a rape victim at Mercy. I'm jumping in the shower."

"Olivia." Elliot stood up.

Olivia shook her head. "Go home Elliot. Get cleaned up and meet me at Mercy." She closed her bedroom door, leaving him standing in the living room. He scrubbed his hands over his face. He knew she was right. They had a job to do. But that didn't make it any easier.

EOEOEOEO

Elliot got to Mercy and found that Olivia was already in the room with their victim, talking her through the rape kit. He looked around, trying to spot the victim's mother. He found a nurse that pointed him in the right direction. He introduced himself and sat down, trying to find out what happened.

He finished talking to the mother and Olivia still wasn't out of the exam room. He wandered over and got a cup of coffee out of the lounge and then took a seat and waited for Olivia. He checked in with the Captain, bringing him up to speed on what they'd found so far.

"Sounds like we need to pick up the boyfriend." Elliot said and Cragen assured him that he was sending Fin and Munch out to do just that.

Elliot hung up the phone and looked at his watch. He had been at the hospital for almost three hours, so Liv had been here longer. He knew she should be wrapping up soon, and was hoping they could grab some lunch before they went back to the precinct.

It was just a few minutes later when Olivia emerged from the exam room. She leaned up against the wall and let out a heavy sigh. She rubbed one hand through her hair and looked over at Elliot to see he was watching her. She closed her eyes. It was always draining to listen to a victim's story and to walk them through the process of getting examined. And she was running low on reserves.

She pushed away from the wall and Elliot stood up.

"Fin and Munch are picking up the boyfriend."

Olivia nodded. "OK, let's go talk to him."

"Let's grab some lunch."

Olivia shook her head. "Let's just grab something on the way. We need to get back to the squad room."

Elliot put a hand on her arm to slow her down as she walked past. "Liv."

Olivia paused and looked back at him and then at his hand on her arm. He dropped it quickly.

"I just want to finish talking." He said.

Olivia shook her head. "Later Elliot." She turned around and headed down the hall.

EOEOEOEO

When they got back to the squad room, they found out that Fin and Munch weren't back yet. They laid out their lunch on their desks, and Olivia filled Elliot in on everything their victim, Hayden, had told her. Hayden had been out with her boyfriend, Jimmy Canton, and some of his friends at a house party. Jimmy got really high. She wasn't sure on what. He started in on her about the time she was spending with another male friend of hers and the fight escalated. He started slapping her around and then dragged her into one of the bedrooms and attacked her. He told her that he was her boyfriend and that he would show her that he should be man enough for her.

Olivia shook her head. "What I don't understand is that as I'm standing there and she's having a rape kit done, she's telling me that it's her fault. She didn't want to tell anyone what happened. Her mother dragged her into the ER." She looked up at Elliot as she set her sandwich down. "She wants to make sure we don't hurt him. She said she loves him." She let out a heavy sigh. "I'll just never understand."

"Hell of a way to show her he loves her." Elliot shook his head.

Cragen came out of his office, surprised to see them sitting there. "I though Fin and Munch were bringing in our suspect."

"They're not back yet." Elliot said.

Cragen leaned back against the edge of Munch's desk. "Why don't you fill me in?"

EOEOEOEO

Fin and Munch weren't able to track down Jimmy Canton, and they came back to the squad room around 5.

"We've got unis watching his apartment and his job. But he hasn't shown up at either." Fin said as he sat down. "But don't worry, we'll get 'im."

Olivia's phone rang and she picked it up. "Benson."

Elliot turned his attention back to the forms on his desk when he heard her hang up the phone.

"Our vic?" he asked.

"No, front desk. I have a visitor. They're sending him up." She said.

"Who?"

Olivia shrugged and smiled. "Maybe it's our suspect turning himself in."

Elliot shook his head. "Wouldn't that be nice?" He smiled back at Olivia, but Olivia saw the smile fade as she heard her name.

"Olivia?"

Olivia turned around and saw Adam standing there.

"Adam." Olivia said, surprised to see him standing there. She looked over at Elliot and saw him looking at her, a scowl on his face. She walked over to meet Adam as he walked into the squad room. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

He looked around the squad room. "Is there somewhere we can talk? Privately?"

Olivia looked around. "Um…" She motioned towards the conference room that they sometimes used for interrogation. "I guess we could go in there."

"After you." Adam said. She started walking and Adam followed close behind her. She risked a glance at Elliot as she walked by and she could see that his jaw was set in a hard line.

"Ah. Is this the boyfriend Liv? The one that sent the flowers?" Munch asked. "Aren't you going to introduce us?"

Olivia shot Munch a dirty look and kept walking. When they got into the conference room, Olivia shut the door behind him. She leaned up against the door and looked at Adam.

"Adam. What are you doing here?" she asked. "I'm working."

"I just needed to see you. I don't understand what happened between Sunday afternoon and yesterday? Did I do or say something wrong? Is it because I left?"

Olivia let out a heavy sigh. It seemed like so long ago that Adam had been at her apartment, but it was just a little over 48 hours. She thought about everything that had happened in that timeframe. No wonder she was exhausted.

"Adam." She said softly, tilting her head slightly to the side. "You didn't do anything wrong. Really. I just had a little time to think about it and it's just not going to work. I just…" she hesitated. She had been about to say that she didn't have time for a relationship, but she didn't want to lie. She sighed heavily. "The truth is that I have feelings for someone else. And I was trying to get over it by going out and getting into another relationship, but that's not fair to you."

"Oh. Well, I think we could work it out." He smiled. "I think we really clicked and I think we could make this work."

Olivia shook her head. "Adam…"

"Just…" Adam took a few steps towards her. "Just go out to dinner with me. Give me a chance."

Olivia rubbed her hand over her face. This is why it didn't pay to be evasive. "Adam. The truth is…the relationship I mentioned. It's not over." She wasn't sure if that was really accurate, since they technically she and Elliot weren't _in a relationship_ …but she was counting the past 7 years.

"Oh." He didn't say anything else. He just stood there looking at her. "Is it serious?"

Olivia pursed her lips together. "Adam. I'm not going to discuss that with you." She was not about to share any of that information with him, and she was wondering why he was so persistent. They'd only gone out twice. "I'm sorry but…" She really didn't know what else to say.

Adam stood in place and it looked as if he were trying to think of something else to say…to plead his case.

Olivia spoke up, interrupting his thoughts. "Adam. I really have to get back to work."

Adam nodded. "I understand. I'm sorry I bothered you at work. I just wanted to talk to you in person." Olivia nodded, unsure of what to say to that.

"Maybe I'll run into you sometime." He said. "And if things change…well, give me a call." He turned towards the door but he paused when he reached for the doorknob. "It was nice to meet you Olivia."

He opened the door, closing it behind him as he left. Olivia leaned up against the table, feeling badly about the entire situation. She was sure he was wondering what the hell he'd done to change things so quickly, so she hoped he understood that it didn't have anything to do with him.

She heard the door open, but breathed a sigh of relief when she saw Elliot walk through the door and close it behind him.

"What did lover boy want?" he asked.

Olivia shook her head. There was the overprotective, jealous Elliot she knew…

"Don't call him that."

Elliot shrugged his shoulders. "You were in here a long time." Elliot leaned against the door and crossed his arms. "I thought you already told him that you weren't going out any more."

"I did!" she said.

"Then why'd he show up here?"

Olivia sighed. "I don't know Elliot." She said, shaking her head. "He wanted to talk to me."

"He can't use the phone?"

"Why are you being like this? I can't control what people do." She walked towards the door, wanting to leave the room, but Elliot didn't move. She stopped a couple feet away and crossed her arms, mimicking him. "I'm done with this conversation."

"Did you sleep with him?"

Olivia groaned and threw her head back as she turned her back to Elliot and walked away from him. "I can't believe you." She braced her arms on the table. "We had this conversation."

"Well, why else doesn't he want it to end? Why is he being so persistent?"

Olivia spun around. "I don't know El. I didn't ask him. And I don't think he's being difficult. He just wanted to talk in person instead of over the phone. How in the hell do you take that to mean that I slept with him?" She marched up to him and poked her fingers into his chest. "I already _told_ you that I didn't. _AND_ it's really none of your goddamned business."

"I need to know if some guys' going to be stalking you."

"You really are unbelievable. Stalking me? You have an overactive imagination. I'm done talking to you right now." She moved towards him and the door and tried to push him aside. He grabbed her by her arm to try to stop her and she stopped and looked down at his hand as it held her in place. He quickly dropped his hand and she pushed past him, opening the door and slamming it behind her

 _Thanks for reading!_


	16. Chapter 16

Thanks to everyone for all of their comments and reviews. I really do appreciate. This next chapter was a tough one for me and I'm not sure why. It's especially long; although I'm not sure anyone will complain about that. Thanks so much to _writersrefinery_ for being my beta. I'm not sure this chapter would have been posted without her. And here we go…

EOEOEOEO

Olivia strode across the squad room towards her desk, passing Munch and Fin as she went.

"That guy didn't look very happy when he left." Munch commented. "Breaking hearts again Benson?"

Olivia shot him a dirty look just as Elliot came out of the conference room and stormed over towards his desk.

Munch looked over at Fin and Fin shrugged his shoulders. They were used to watching the battle between the two detectives, and they knew to keep their mouths shut. They did not want to get in the middle of it when these two were at it.

"Liv." Elliot said, standing at his desk, looking at her pointedly.

Olivia ignored him, logging on to her computer.

"Liv." Elliot said, a little louder this time. He started to move over towards her desk when Cragen came out of his office. Elliot stopped and turned to face him as he walked over to stand by Fin's desk.

"It doesn't look like our suspect is going to show his face any time soon. I told the unis to stay on it and call us if they see him. You might as well go home." He said, looking at the team. "I'll call you if anyone spots him."

"Sounds good to me." Olivia said, stacking up the folders on her desk and dropping them into her open drawer. She started gathering her things, purposefully avoiding Elliot's glare as he turned to face her. She stood and turned to Fin and Munch. "Have a good night. I'll see you tomorrow." She turned and started heading out of the squad room, but Elliot was close on her heels.

When she reached the elevators, Elliot caught up with her and grabbed her upper arm, curling his fingers around her bicep and holding her in place.

She turned her head and glared at him. "If you want to keep that hand..." She hissed at him as she looked down at his hand on her arm. "I don't know why you think you can keep _touching_ me all of a sudden." This was the second time in ten minutes that Elliot had grabbed her arm…and she didn't know what he was thinking. She could count her both hands the number of times he'd touched her in the past seven years…if you don't count the past two days. She had kissed him so now he thought he could just grab her whenever he wanted? She pulled her arm away and Elliot's hand dropped to his side.

"Jesus Liv. Just talk to me." Elliot said.

"I told you. I don't even know what to say to you right now. I'm so pissed off."

"OK. I get it. But."

"But what?" She turned to face him, noticing he didn't bother apologized for the things he'd said in the conference room. She didn't know why she was surprised. Typical Elliot.

Elliot looked around, making sure no one was listening to their conversation. "We need to finish our conversation from this morning."

Olivia looked at him like he was insane. He obviously didn't understand how angry she was with him. "So you think this is a good time to have this conversation? Because I have to tell you, your accusations and your display of petty jealousy aren't doing much for me right now. If this is how things are going to be…"

"No! Liv. Just…let's go to my place and we'll get some dinner and we'll talk." Elliot didn't plead for much but he wasn't going to let Olivia go home tonight without talking to him. There was too much at stake. He couldn't let this spiral out of control into one of their days long feuds. With everything that had happened in the past few days, he was feeling too unsettled. "Olivia. Please."

He saw Olivia's shoulders slump a little, and she turned back to face him. Elliot didn't plead very often. She pursed her lips together, looking back and forth between his eyes. "OK." she said in a resigned voice, the anger gone. Now she just sounded tired. "Don't make me regret this." She stabbed at the elevator button again, impatient at the time it was taking.

"Just let me get my keys." Elliot said, turning back towards the squad room.

Olivia shook her head. She was exhausted and still a little angry with Elliot. She needed a little bit of time to herself to cool off. "No." She said, a little more vehemently than she intended. She looked over at him and saw the surprise on his face. She let out a breath. "I just need a little time. I'll be over by 8." She saw the relief wash over him. The elevator doors finally opened and she stepped inside. She looked up at him before the doors closed. "And don't forget the dinner you promised."

A small smile crossed Elliot's face. That last line she threw at him as the elevator doors closed made him think that maybe…just maybe…everything was going to be OK. Everything had been so up and down in the past couple of days, he was a mess. But he had finally decided what he wanted…and he wasn't going to let her go without a fight.

EOEOEOEO

Elliot got home and didn't know what to do with himself. Olivia had never been over to his new apartment, and he looked around with an appraising eye. He picked up a few things that were lying around and then walked into the bedroom. He scanned the room and saw it was pretty picked up, and then his eyes landed on the bed. The thought crossed his mind that maybe he should change the sheets, but then he shook his head. _Get a grip_. He had to get those thoughts out of his mind. Because as much as he wanted Olivia in his bed, he needed her to understand that this wasn't just about sex. It was so much more. He took in a deep breath and let it out. But making love to Olivia…he had never wanted something as much as he wanted her. He swallowed hard as images of Olivia assaulted him. She would be embarrassed to know the number of times she'd had a starring role in his dreams, day and night. He scrubbed his hands over his face and pulled himself back from his thoughts. He looked at the bathroom. A shower was what he needed right now. A cold one.

EOEOEOEO

Olivia got home and dropped her things on the kitchen counter. She opened up the refrigerator and pulled out an open bottle of wine. She pulled a wine glass down from the cupboard and poured herself a half a glass. She headed for the bedroom, and locked away her gun. She headed for the bathroom, deciding a nice, hot bath was what she needed to take the edge off.

She took a sip of wine and thought about Elliot as the bathtub filled. She thought about everything that had happened over the past two days and found herself smiling. She lowered herself into the tub, leaned her head back against the edge of the tub and closed her eyes.

When Elliot didn't come over after talking to Kathy, she had pretty much resigned herself to the fact that he was going to move home. Family was so important to Elliot, and she knew his sense of obligation was strong. She only felt more uneasy when Elliot told her about the conversation with Kathy. He obviously couldn't stand the thought of hurting her.

Olivia took a sip of wine and thought about that. He couldn't stand the thought of hurting Kathy, but it was OK to hurt her? Of course it was…because she let him. Over and over again for the past seven years, they'd said horrible, hurtful things to each other. They'd avoided what was growing between them and it made them lash out at each other sometimes…purely in frustration. And Elliot knew she could take it…that she was strong…that she was used to disappointment.

Olivia sighed and took another sip of wine. The truth was…she was terrified of her feelings for Elliot. She'd never felt so much for someone…and she knew that with great passion comes the opportunity for real pain. It's why they never moved things forward. Better the pain of never knowing than the potential pain of losing each other…of it not working out.

Well. _Fuck that_.

Olivia's eyes popped open at the thought. She didn't know where it had come from, but just like that, it had popped into her head.

 _Fuck that!_ Ignoring her feelings had gotten her nowhere. She was Badass Benson. Strong. Fierce. She wasn't going to let love kick her in the teeth…make her afraid. She was done with that. That had gotten her nowhere. She was going to fight for what she wanted. And she wanted Elliot.

Suddenly, she couldn't wait to see him. She stood up and got out of the tub, drying herself off. She moved into the bedroom and opened up her closet door, looking for something to wear. She eyed her wardrobe…trying to decide what to wear. She smiled. Honestly, if things went the way she wanted them to, what she was wearing wouldn't matter. She pulled out a pair of tight fitting jeans and a t-shirt and went to her dresser. What she had on underneath would be so much more important. She dug through her underwear and bras until she found something she thought Elliot would like. She got dressed, did her hair and make-up and then stood back in the mirror and appraised herself. She left her hair loose and it was a little wavy from the dampness of her bath. She'd darkened her eyes a bit, and put on some lip gloss with a slightly red tint to it.

She went back into her bedroom and reached for her black boots. But at the last second, she grabbed a pair of spiky black heels…a pair of shoes she'd purchased on a whim and had never worn. She slipped them on to her feet and looked in the full length mirror. They made her incredibly tall…she would be the same height at Elliot now. She smiled. Good. That would put her on even ground. She knew Elliot probably didn't care in the least about the clothes, hair or make-up…but it all made her feel sexier and more confident. And she was going to need that confidence to stride in and tell Elliot exactly what was on her mind.

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia was ready to go and she looked at the clock. She saw it was only a little before 7, so if she left now, she was going to be early. Well, _fuck it_. That was her new mantra. If she didn't go now, she'd completely loose her nerve. She opened up her messaging on her phone and sent Elliot a quick text. She didn't want to catch him completely by surprise. She smiled. He was going to be surprised enough as it was.

" _Leaving now. Be there in 30_." She hit SEND, grabbed her keys and some cash and headed out the door. She only had to walk a block before she spotted a cab. Thank God, because she wasn't used to walking in spiky heels, and she'd gotten quite a few lascivious looks from some guys on the street as she passed by. She hoped Elliot had the same reaction.

She climbed into the cab and gave him Elliot's address. She realized she had only been to his building once, and had never been inside. Now that she had time to think, she could feel her nerves starting to surface in her stomach. She started to question herself then…but then cleared those thoughts from her mind. _Strong. Fierce_. She repeated that to herself a couple of times to try to make the nerves go away. The cab pulled up in front of Elliot's building and she paid the driver and got out. She stood in front of the door for a moment, realizing she hadn't checked her messages on her phone. She flipped it open saw a return message.

" _I'm here_." She laughed and flipped her phone closed. I guess that meant he was ready for her. If he only knew.

At that point, someone came out of the building, so she snagged the door. She looked at the mailboxes inside the lobby, not certain which apartment was his. She looked through the names on the boxes and finally found the one that said Stabler. 3A. She didn't see an elevator, so it looked like she would be climbing three flights of stairs in these shows. "Good thing I'm in good shape." She thought to herself as she started climbing.

She was on the third set of stairs when she stopped and took a deep breath. She knew Elliot would probably be standing at his door, so he'd see her as soon as she reached the top of the stairs, depending on the layout. She closed her eyes…she could do this. She wanted this. She smiled. It would be fun to see the look on Elliot's face. She started climbing again and smiled when she saw Elliot standing there in his doorway, just as she predicted. She cleared the last step and paused for a second…and Elliot didn't disappoint. She saw the surprised look on his face when he first saw her, but it quickly disappeared into a wide smile as he raised an eyebrow and took her in. He made no effort to conceal his blatant appraisal of her, his eyes moving slowly from her heels all the way up to her body until his eyes met hers. She managed to keep the smile off her face as she strode towards him. She pushed past him in the doorway. "Dinner ready?" she asked, moving inside.

Elliot followed her, inhaling that scent that was uniquely Olivia as she breezed past him. "Should be here any minute." he said. "You hungry?" He watched her walk past, her tight jeans snug against her ass and the black t-shirt hugging her breasts. And those heels. She already had the longest legs of any woman he knew, but in those heels. He couldn't take his eyes off her.

Olivia turned to face him and caught him staring at her. She tried not to smile, glad that she was having the desired effect. "Not particularly." She walked into the kitchen. "Got anything to drink?"

Elliot followed her. He was watching her carefully, uncertain of her mood. He couldn't quite figure it out. There was an air of nonchalance. An air of _I don't give a damn_. There was no hint of the anger she had harbored this afternoon…no hint of the doubt he'd seen the past few days. He eyed her warily…suddenly uncertain of where he stood. He could normally read Olivia…was tuned into her thoughts and her emotions. But right now, he couldn't and it was freaking him out a little.

He opened up the refrigerator. "I have beer. Or beer." He said, pulling out a bottle.

"Nothing stronger?" She pulled open one of the cupboards, looking for a bottle of something…anything. Her nerves were starting to show themselves again under Elliot's scrutiny and she hoped a shot of something would help take the edge off.

Elliot raised an eyebrow. Olivia rarely drank more than a few beers or glasses of wine. He'd never know her to drink hard alcohol…something he presumed was a result of her mother's alcoholism. He watched Olivia as she opened another cupboard. "Under the sink." he said. Olivia turned and opened the cupboard under the sink, eyeing a bottle of Scotch. She grabbed the bottle just as the buzzer sounded.

"There's our dinner." he said, moving towards the door. Olivia pulled a small glass down from the cupboard and poured herself some Scotch. She took a deep breath. She normally didn't drink the hard stuff but she didn't think beer was going to cut it.

"You want some?" she asked, as Elliot opened the door.

He looked over at her, standing with her hip leaning against the counter, the glass in hand. "Sure." He turned back as the delivery guy reached his door. He paid him, took the food and closed the door. As he walked back into the kitchen, he set the food down and Olivia handed him a glass.

She downed the drink like a shot, surprising the hell out of Elliot. She could feel the burn as it went down her throat, and she had to work hard not to cough. Elliot followed suit, downing his drink as well.

She grabbed the bottle and her glass and walked into the living room. She hoped Elliot would follow. She turned when she reached the couch, and was happy to see that he had, glass in hand. She poured herself another shot, and reached over to pour more into Elliot's glass. She looked around and saw a side table, so she set the bottle down there.

"So…we're going to get drunk?" Elliot asked. He had no idea what she was up to.

She wanted to say something in response; something profound, but nothing came to mind. "Shut up Elliot." She said and then a sly smile crossed her face. She reached out and clinked her glass against his. "Bottoms up." She tossed the drink back and Elliot did the same.

Elliot furrowed his brow. He didn't really think it was a good idea for either of them to keep drinking. Especially Scotch. They had a lot to talk about.

"Liv. I'm not sure what's going on here." He took the glass from her hand, and set them both down on the end table next to him. "But I don't think it's a good idea to drink any more of this." He gestured towards the bottle. "We need to talk."

Olivia shook her head. "No." She moved so she was standing in front of Elliot, moving so he turned with her, his back to the couch.

"No?" he asked, shaking his head. He eyed her again…she was certainly up to something.

Olivia lowered her head slightly and looked up at him through her lashes. Her lips curled into another sly smile. "No." She said again, shaking her head slightly and lowering her voice.

Elliot hesitated, unsure of how to respond. He felt a warmth spread through him like wildfire at the look in her eyes. It was almost predatory.

Olivia pushed Elliot in the chest and he fell backward onto the couch. "I'm done talking Elliot." she said. She leaned over, putting one hand on either side of his head, bracing herself against the back of the couch.

Elliot looked up at her in surprise. He'd never seen this side of Olivia...at least not directed at him. He had seen her flirt undercover…be suggestive with a suspect or a perp…but this sexual energy focused on him was something new. He swallowed hard.

"Liv." He said hoarsely. All logical thought left him as she leaned in, moving her legs on either side of him. His eyes left hers and moved to her lips. She was so close.

"You said to tell you want I want Elliot." she whispered. "But I'm not going to tell you. I'm going to show you." She moved even closer, her hot breath against his mouth and he legs tightening as she stood against his outer thighs.

Before Elliot could even process what she was saying, her lips were on his. He moaned at the sensation…her lips were soft as she pulled his lower lip between hers. Her hair fell loosely around her face, tickling his skin as she opened his mouth with hers. She deepened this kiss, tilting her head sideways and teasing his mouth with her tongue. Elliot moaned again and reached up, threading one hand through her hair, trying to pull her closer. She resisted his pull and he let go. She bit down lightly on his lower lip and then drove her tongue into his mouth. She wrapped one hand around his head and she was devouring his mouth. He tried to move his hands again. He was aching to touch her. But she pushed his hand away. She pulled her mouth from his, and peppered his jaw with small kisses. "No." she said in a breathy tone that went straight to his groin. Shit, he was already getting hard…and all she had done was kiss him.

She moved her mouth to the shell of his ear, and traced her tongue around it, biting lightly on his earlobe. Her breasts were rubbing against his chest and he resisted the urge to reach for her again. She was clearly in charge and he smiled at the thought. They push and pull in the squad room was one thing…but this was completely different. He shouldn't have expected her to be anything but bold when it came to sex either.

She let her tongue trail down his neck before she starting placing open mouth kisses there, eliciting a groan from him. She found a spot that made him groan even harder and she sucked and bit lightly, surely leaving a mark. She trailed her tongue back up to his ear. "You still want me?" she whispered.

 _Jesus._ A moan was all he could manage.

She pulled back and looked at him, that small smile still on her mouth. Elliot was certain that she must be able to see the lust in his eyes…feel the beating of his heart. If she bothered to look down, she'd see his obvious desire for her. He swallowed hard. That mouth. Her body. The husky tone of her voice. He could see he was in big trouble. He could see the fire in her now…the bold sexuality…and he knew this…Olivia Benson was pure sin.

Suddenly, he was done with her being in charge. He wanted to touch her…to taste her. He grabbed her arms, trying to pull her body down on top of his, but she resisted. He forgot how strong she was and he gave up, changing tactics. He pushed her up so she was standing straight up in front of him. She looked at him, her eyes narrowed.

"Take it off." he rasped, motioning to her t-shirt.

Olivia was startled by the sudden change in direction. "What?" she asked.

Elliot narrowed his eyes at her. "You heard me."

Olivia hesitated for a moment. Her instinct was to fight him…to fight for dominance. She had wanted to be the one to surprise him tonight. Show him how much _she_ wanted _him_. She eyed him…the lust evident in his eyes and his erection apparent in his jeans. She guessed she'd gotten her point across. But that didn't mean she still couldn't tease him a little.

Elliot could sense a slight change in her demeanor, almost as if she had made some kind of decision. He hoped he hadn't pushed her too far and cause her to storm out. She took a small step back and he started to panic. But then she reached for the hem of her t-shirt and played with the edge of it.

"This?" she asked quietly, slowly lifting the edge of the t-shirt just enough to show her flat, toned abs. "You want me to take this off?" She raised an eyebrow slightly before dropping the t-shirt. Her hands dropped to her belt buckle. "Or did you mean these?" She ran her hands along the edge of the belt, running her thumbs along the inside and pulling at the waistband.

Elliot choked slightly. She was going to kill him, slowly and surely. He sat up and reached for her, but she took another step back, causing him to miss her completely.

She shook her head and ran her tongue along her top lip. Then she sucked her bottom lip in between her teeth and leaned over slightly. "You're going to have to be more specific." she whispered and Elliot groaned again. She stood back up, hands on her hips, watching his reaction.

"Take them _both_ off." He managed to say, shifting on the couch as his erection strained against the fabric of his jeans.

Olivia looked at him, seeming to consider what he said. She smiled at him. A slow, mischievous smile.

"Do it yourself." she said as she straightened up. There was a challenge in her voice and she still had that sultry smile on her face.

The tone of her voice sent another jolt to Elliot's groin. He let out a sound similar to a growl and pushed himself up off the couch. She took a few steps back as he stood up. He took another step towards her, his eyes never leaving hers. She walked backwards slowly and Elliot kept pace…his eyes slowly roaming her body. She saw the predatory look on Elliot's face, and she shivered a little at the intensity.

She hit a wall and Elliot closed the space between them. He braced his arms on either side of her head and leaned in, capturing her lips with his. He trailed one hand down her arm until he reached her waist. He dropped his mouth to her neck as he pulled at the hem of the t-shirt. "I said take it off." He whispered. Olivia ducked beneath his arm and started moving back down the hallway.

"Where do you think you're going?" he growled at her, following her. She picked up the pace, slipping inside Elliot's bedroom seconds before him. She turned when she reached the bed, and Elliot pushed her backwards. She landed on her back and moved up on the bed. He wasted no time moving over her body, straddling her and seizing her wrists.

He held her wrists flat to the bed and dropped more of his body on top of her, bringing his mouth to her ear. "You want to play dirty? I can do that." He bit her neck lightly, eliciting a small sound from her, before he moved back to her mouth. He covered her mouth with his, delving his tongue inside as she pushed against him. Within seconds, she had relinquished the fight and her tongue was tangling with his and she was pushing her hips up against him, trying to increase contact. He pushed his lower body down against her, stilling her. He pulled his mouth away from hers and sat up slightly, moving back on her thighs and looking into her eyes.

"Now…that shirt is coming off." He continued straddling her legs, but moved further down. He lifted the edge of her t-shirt, placing a kiss on her stomach. Olivia felt her muscles tense as Elliot placed his hands on her waist and slowly pushed her t-shirt up, trailing his tongue up her abdomen. He hesitated when he reached the underside of her breasts. "Liv." He rasped, a question in his voice. He lifted his head and looked at her.

"Don't stop." Elliot's mouth against her skin was driving her insane. She could feel the liquid heat between her legs and she wanted Elliot's mouth on her breasts…between her legs. "Elliot." she moaned.

Elliot pushed the shirt up and over her head, tossing it aside. He groaned when he saw Olivia's breasts, barely contained in a sheer red bra, her peaked nipples poking at the thin fabric. He ran his hands underneath her breasts, and then up and over, feeling the weight of them in his hands. He ran his thumbs over her nipples, and her body jolted at the sensation.

"Jesus Liv." He mouth dropped to the swell of her breasts and he trailed his mouth down, teasing her nipple through the sheer fabric with his tongue.

Olivia started writhing beneath him as he continued to lavish attention on one breast and then the other. Olivia couldn't handle the sensations running through her body. She pushed her hips up into him again and pushed at his head with her hands. "Elliot." She rasped. "I can't…"

She couldn't finish her sentence as Elliot crashed his lips against hers again. She needs to feel him; she wanted his skin against hers. She pushed against him and he broke the kiss. "Stop." she said, and Elliot quickly pulled back, thinking she had changed her mind. She took advantage of his hesitation and pushed him over onto his back. She quickly straddled him, looking down at him with a big smile. "My turn."

She grabbed the hem of his t-shirt and pulled it over his head. She splayed her hands across his chest, and then moved her hands over to his shoulders and running her hands down his biceps. She squeezed lightly. She loved Elliot's arms…she knew how strong he was. As if reading her mind, he reached up and grabbed her arms, pulling her into another kiss.

Olivia pulled back again, sitting on him and grinding against him. She ran her hands up her stomach and over her breasts and Elliot groaned as he watched her. She moved back down his thighs and placed her hands on his belt buckle. She looked up at him as she slowly slid the leather out of the buckle. She ran her hand down the length of him through his jeans and he pushed up into her hand, moaning as she grasped him lightly. She licked her lips and reached for the zipper, watching him watching her as she pulled it down slowly. She reached inside his jeans, running her hand up and down his length. She moved off the bed, and tugged at his jeans, pulling them down his hips and down his legs. She crawled back up over his legs, and lowered her mouth against him through his black briefs. Elliot let out another loud groan and sat up quickly.

"Liv. I can't." He couldn't take Olivia's hands or mouth on him. He was working hard to keep control; he didn't want to embarrass himself. "You still have those goddamn jeans on." He reached for her but she slapped his hand away.

Olivia backed up and stood next to the bed. She reached for her belt and unbuckled it, pulling the leather slowly through her belt loops and throwing it on the floor. She unbuttoned her jeans and slowly unzipped them, her eyes never leaving Elliot's. His breath hitched as she pulled them open, revealing a small amount of red lace. She moved her hands around to her hips, slowly sliding the jeans down her hips. They pooled at her feet and she kicked off her heels and her jeans.

She looked back at Elliot and saw he was staring at her.

"Christ Almighty Liv." He swallowed hard…taking in her long, tan legs and the small patch of sheer red material at the top of her thighs. His eyes moved up her toned abs and back to her breasts…the sheer bra hiding nothing. He moved to the edge of the bed, and reached for her, wrapping his arms around her waist and burying his face in between her breasts. "I want to touch you everywhere…I want to taste you." He reached up and pulled down the straps of her bra, releasing her breasts. Olivia reached behind her and unclasped it, tossing it to the side. Elliot took one of her breasts in his mouth and Olivia let out a low moan.

"Elliot." she moaned, her legs buckling slightly. Elliot supported her with his arms and pulled her back on to the bed. He moved his body back over hers and looked down into her eyes. "I can't wait any more. You're driving me crazy." He leaned in and kissed her deeply. "You're so fucking beautiful." He ran a hand down her stomach and quickly moved down her body, cupping her over the sheer material. Olivia moaned and pushed her body into his hand. Elliot could feel how wet she was; the fabric was soaked with her juices. He slid one finger beneath the material, sliding it between her folds and knocking her clit, causing a guttural noise from Olivia. He slowly slid one finger inside her and Olivia threw her head back and moaned again.

"God Liv. You're so wet."

"Elliot." she rasped. "Please." She reached down and tugged at the waistband of his briefs. She pushed them down as far as she could reach and Elliot pulled them off. He snagged his fingers into the sides of her underwear and dragged them down her hips. He moved back down her body, pulling them off. As he moved back up her body, he spread her legs. He placed small kisses along her inner thighs and he felt Olivia shudder.

"Fuck El." Olivia tried grabbing at his head but he was too far away. "Enough of this. _Fuck me_."

Elliot almost came right then as she rasped out those two words. He trailed his tongue up her abdomen and over her breasts, finally bracing his body on his forearms. He moved her legs farther apart with his, and lined up at her entrance. He could feel the heat from her body and she pushed her hips up towards him, causing him to penetrate her slightly. His breath hitched and he looked down at her.

"Olivia." he whispered. "I need to hear you say it."

Olivia was momentarily confused about what he wanted her to say.

"Tell me yes."

"Yes." she whispered and Elliot pushed into her, groaning at the feeling of her walls around him. He stopped, feeling her body's resistance. He pulled out slightly, and then pushed in again, going deeper this time.

Olivia dug her nails into his shoulders as he pushed in deeper. He reached down and put his hand on her inner thigh, pushing her leg up and opening her up to him. He pulled back once more, and then drove in hard until he filled her completely. They both let out a loud moan simultaneously, and Elliot could feel her walls clench around him.

"OK?" he whispered.

"Oh yeah…" she moaned.

Elliot started moving and she thrust her hips to meet his. Her hips were narrow and he was buried deep inside her, and he moved slowly, not wanting to hurt her. Each time he thrust into her, he marveled at how perfectly their bodies fit together.

"Harder" she rasped and Elliot moved against her, increasing in speed and driving into her hard. He was knocking her clit with each thrust and she could feel the intensity building in her body. He was filling her completely; hitting a spot inside her that she didn't even know existed. She moaned loudly every time he thrust into her and while she had never been a screamer, she understood the reasons behind it now.

She raked her nails down his back and his ass, grabbing him as he thrust into her. Her words became unintelligible and finally came out as one long moan after another.

Elliot dropped his mouth to her breast, and bit lightly at one of her sensitive nipples. Her body jolted and her muscles clenched as he continued to tease her with his tongue. Olivia moved her mouth to his shoulder, trying to muffle the sounds she was making.

Elliot moved his mouth back up to her ear. "Come for me Liv. I can't hold on much longer." His mouth crashed down on hers, muffling her moans. He pulled away. "Fuck Liv." He felt her walls clench around him as her orgasm rolled through her body. She bit into Elliot's shoulder and he cursed as her entire body shuddered beneath him.

"Liv. I…" he started to pull out of her but she had her legs wrapped around him and she held him in place.

"No. Come inside me." she groaned and that was it for him. He couldn't hold out any longer as he spilled inside her.

"Liv. God Liv." He stilled as her walls continued to clench around him, feeling his release. He buried his face in her neck, thrusting into her a few more times before collapsing on top of her. He quickly tried to brace himself, knowing he must be crushing her, but she wrapped her arms around him and held him against her tightly. She kept her legs wrapped around his hips and he was completely cocooned by her…still buried deep inside her.

"Olivia." he whispered, wrapping his arms underneath hers and threading his fingers through her hair as he buried his face in her hair. "I…" He didn't even know what to say. He could barely believe he was even here, lying in bed with Olivia…

"I know." she whispered.

 _Whew. That chapter kicked me in the ass but I hope you enjoyed it_


	17. Chapter 17

_OK people. I'm worn out from writing this chapter too! Thanks again for all of your comments. I appreciate them. You can thank_ _ **writersrefinery**_ _for the extra smut in this chapter!_

EOEOEOEO

Elliot took in a deep breath as he nuzzled Olivia's neck. He inhaled deeply, feeling intoxicated. He reveled in the way she felt wrapped around him; all soft skin and curves. He threaded a hand through her hair, loving the feeling of her silky strands as they ran through his fingers. Her breasts were pressed tightly against his chest and he could feel her taking shallow breaths beneath him. "I'm too heavy." He whispered, pushing himself up on his forearms. "Let me up."

Olivia didn't want to let him go. It felt so wonderful having him so close. But she really couldn't catch her breath, so she loosened her legs that were wrapped around him, and he slowly pulled out of her. She gasped at the loss, and at the cool air hitting her sensitized skin.

Elliot rolled over on his back and pulled Olivia on top of him. She laid her head on his chest and stretched her body against his, their feet tangled together. She let out a sigh as he ran his hands down her body, sliding them over her skin until they reached her lower back. He paused and then continued until his hands were splayed across her ass and squeezed gently.

"Do you know how long I've admired your ass?" he said, laughing lightly.

Olivia laughed along with him. "How long?" she whispered. She wondered if he would actually tell her. If he told her, then he would be confessing so much more.

"A long time. Longer than you know."

He flattened out his hands and ran them slowly up her back, pressing lightly, as if he wanted to memorize every curve. His hands ran back down, slipping to her sides and moving down to the dip of her waist before resting on her hips.

"Perfect." He whispered, placing a kiss on top of her head.

"Hmm." Olivia murmured against his chest. "This is perfect."

Elliot smiled. That hadn't been what he'd meant, and he thinks she probably knew that and was simply deflecting the compliment.

"Liv."

"Mmmm." Her eyes were closed against his chest and she had never felt so completely sated…her muscles were completely relaxed and she thought she could stay pressed against Elliot's body forever.

"Hey." He pressed against her hips with his hands and she lifted her head to look at him. She pulled her arms up and crossed them on his chest, resting her chin there and looking at him.

"Hmm?" Her tone questioning.

"What changed?"

She raised an eyebrow in reply, not sure what he was asking.

"Tonight. What changed?" He had her attention now. "Because the last couple of days have been a rollercoaster. First you surprised the hell out of me by telling me how you felt. But then you pulled back almost immediately and I get tell that maybe you regretted telling me. I know you were unsure about what was going to happen, so I get why you told me you wanted to wait to…you know. Take things further. But then, I think you talked yourself into believing it wasn't going to happen. When we were talking this morning, I could see it in your eyes. You were going to deny it. You were going to tell me to go back to my family, despite everything." He trailed his fingers up and down her bare back, causing goosebumps to break out on Olivia's skin. "But then you show up here tonight and…" He swallowed hard and ran his hands back down her back until he cupped her ass again and pressed her against him. "Well, here we are."

Olivia lifted her head from where it had been resting on her arms, bracing herself against the muscles of his chest, arms still crossed. She shook her head slightly. "I was thinking about everything tonight when I got home. I thought about what you said to me…and I thought about what was the right thing to do."

Olivia closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. "And I decided I didn't want to do the right thing anymore." She paused. "I'm a fighter Elliot." She whispered. "I fight for everyone else. For the victims. For the families. For my friends. For you. But I never fight for myself." She opened her eyes and stared at him. "And I just realized I'm sick of that. It isn't working for me. Denying how I felt about you was slowly killing me. I knew that if you went back to your wife…I couldn't survive that. I couldn't live with that anymore."

"I was so afraid that you'd run away again…"

"I'm done with that Elliot." Olivia said determinedly. A sly smile crossed her face as she tried to lighten the mood. "You're stuck with me now."

Elliot laughed. "Damn."

Olivia slapped him playfully on his chest and started to push up against him. "I can leave if you want…"

Elliot pulled her body back against his, sliding his hands back down her arms and landing on her hips again. He pulled her against him again, sliding his hands over her ass again. "You're not going anywhere Benson."

Olivia arched an eyebrow at him. "Benson? I kind of thought maybe now we'd be on a first name basis." She ground her hips into his and he groaned slightly. "Especially since you have your hands on my bare ass."

Elliot laughed, massaging her cheeks. "It _is_ my favorite body part of yours."

Olivia raised another eyebrow at him, as if questioning the truth of that statement.

"OK, well, that may be a lie. There's actually quite a long list."

Olivia smiled. "I thought so. Don't think I haven't caught you staring at me over the years." She teased.

"As if you never checked me out." He said, wiggling his eyebrows at her.

Olivia rolled her eyes at him. "At least I was a lot more subtle." She rested her head back on her crossed arms.

"Mmm. If you say so." He ran his hands up her back again, but kept moving until he cupped her cheeks. "Liv." He rubbed his thumb over her lips and she closed her eyes and sighed.

"I want to tell you that I'm sorry."

Olivia's eyes popped open and she lifted her chin off her arms again to look at him. "Elliot Stabler is apologizing?" She joked. Even though she was poking fun at him, she was seriously surprised. Elliot never apologized for anything, and she thought back to everything that had happened since she'd arrived at his apartment. She had been the one to instigate everything. She couldn't imagine what he was apologizing for. "For what?"

"For what I said earlier. You know…for accusing you of sleeping with Adam."

"Elliot." The way she said it made him think that maybe she had lied to him before and he worked hard to keep a neutral expression on his face. "

"Are you trying to tell me that you did?" he asked, but quickly regretted it as he felt her body tense.

She closed her eyes for a second and then opened them again. "You've always had this jealous, overprotective streak in you. At first it was cute and I didn't mind. But as time went on, it got to be too much. I mean, honestly, what did you think? That I wasn't having sex with anyone for the past seven years?"

"Of course not." He said quickly.

Olivia gave him a small smile. "Really?" She said, tilting her head to the side slightly and raising an eyebrow at him. She sighed because she knew him and she knew that was exactly what he'd been thinking…hoping…despite how unlikely it was. She noticed that he had turned his face away from hers. She reached up and grasped his chin with her fingers, bringing his eyes back to hers. "Sometimes sex is just sex."

"Like Cassidy?" he offered.

Another small smile crossed her lips. Of course he would bring that up. "Yes. Like Cassidy. And others." She looked back and forth between his eyes. "But sometimes it's more."

Elliot heard the emotion in her voice when she said it. "And this is more?"

"Yes El." She whispered. "I hope you know that. I'm counting on the fact that you feel the same way."

"You know I do. I wouldn't be here if I didn't." He wrapped his hands back around her and pulled her tightly against him. Olivia lay her head back down on his chest. "This…with you. I've never felt like this. The way we fit together…it's like my body knows you. I feel like…" Elliot stumbled over his words. He had so much to say and he'd never been good with words or emotions. He kissed the top of her head. "I'm sorry. This isn't coming out right. I want to tell you…"

Olivia lifted her head and stretched out her arms, pulling herself up Elliot's body until her mouth hovered over his. She alternated between looking at his eyes and his mouth. "I know how you feel." She said. "Because I feel the same way." She gently grasped his bottom lip between hers, sucking gently. She released it lip with an audible pop. "But you know Elliot. I'm kind of worried about you." She ground her hips against him again and smiled at the effect she was having on him. "You have a naked woman in your bed and all you want to do is _talk_." She moved her legs to the side, straddling him and he gasped as his erection pressed against her entrance. She gave him a sultry look as she used her arms to push off his chest, sliding his erection into her. "And I didn't come over here to talk."

EOEOEOEO

Elliot woke up and found the spot next to him in bed was empty. He tried to shake the sleep from his head, worried that Olivia had left. He started to sit up when he heard water running in the bathroom, and he fell back against the pillows, relieved that she was still there. The bathroom door opened and Olivia emerged, running a hand through her hair.

Elliot took her in, his eyes roaming from head to foot as she walked towards the bed. He knew Olivia was a beautiful woman, but seeing her in the flesh, literally, was something else. Her dark, smooth skin, her full breasts, her flat stomach and her long, long legs. He marveled at all the ways she was different from Kathy from what he knew. Kathy was thin, angular, while Olivia was luscious…all curves. His sex life with Kathy had been pretty vanilla, and he was always sure to be gentle with her. But with Olivia…she had a body that was built for sex and fit perfectly with his. He could envision slow, gentle love making sessions with her. But he could also envision fucking her hard up against the wall. While Kathy was a passive and willing participant, it would be a constant fight for dominance with Olivia. He wanted to please her. He wanted to make her come hard against his hand…against his mouth…and with him buried deep inside her.

He shook his head as all of those images assaulted his brain. He was one lucky son of a bitch.

Olivia had stopped next to the bed and she had a bemused look on her face. "Jeez El. You'd think you'd never seen a naked woman before."

He realized he must have been staring a little too long, lost in thought. He swallowed hard and reached for her hands, pulling her down on the bed. He rolled her over on her back and he raised himself on his side, running his hand across her stomach. "You don't even know how fucking beautiful you are." He kissed her. "You're perfect."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "El."

"What? You've never had a man tell you that you're beautiful?"

"Of course. But this is just…I don't know. Weird." She tried to roll away from him. She didn't know why, but she did feel strange when he told her that. This was _Elliot. They didn't say things like that to each other._

"So I can have my hands and mouth all over your body and that's not weird. But I can't tell you that you're beautiful?" He ran his hands up her arm. "Do you know how ridiculous that it?"

"OK. You have a point. Now can we just drop it?"

Elliot laughed. "OK." He leaned in to kiss her again, his hand moving back towards her stomach. But Olivia pushed against his chest with her hands.

"Hey." She said, trying to sit up, but with no success as Elliot kept her pinned to the bed. She fell back. "As much as I'd like to stay in bed with you all night…you have to feed me. I'm starving. I never got that dinner I was promised."

He laughed. "You're right." He sat up and pulled her up with him. "Do you want to take a shower while I heat up the food that was delivered earlier?"

She shook her head. "No." She lowered her eyes, as if embarrassed. "I can smell you on me and I like it." She looked back up at him. "But can I borrow a t-shirt or something?" She climbed out of bed and retrieved her panties, sliding them up her legs. She turned to see Elliot watching her.

"That's about the sexiest damn thing I've seen." He said as he stared at her. "Tell me that you aren't wearing stuff like that to work every day."

She cocked an eyebrow at him. "Wouldn't you like to know?"

"You're killing me Liv. It's going to be hard enough to sit across from you now without having to wonder what the hell you have on underneath your clothes." He furrowed his brow.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "I guess you'll just have to use your imagination." She said, grabbing the t-shirt he offered. She pulled it on over her head, and dropped it down to the middle of her thighs.

He moved towards her and pulled her body against his. "I've been using my imagination for years." He gave her a broad smile. "And let me tell you. This is sooo much better."

Olivia slapped his arm playfully again. "You're a dope." She said. But inside she was reeling. Everything Elliot was saying and doing made her feel things she'd never felt before. She felt like she'd made the right choice. She was so glad she had gotten the nerve to come over tonight and let Elliot know exactly what she wanted.

Elliot turned and headed towards the kitchen, pulling her along beside him.

EOEOEOEO

Elliot was pulling the Chinese food out of the bags and dishing up some plates, heating them in the microwave oven. Olivia watched him. He had put on some running pants and a loose fitting t-shirt and she was amazed at how sexy he looked even fully dressed. She lifted herself up on the counter, her long legs dangling as she pulled the t-shirt down. Elliot watched her with amusement.

"Don't pull it down on my account." He smirked. He pulled one plate of food from the microwave and set it down next to her. "You going to eat right there?" he asked as he saw her pick up an egg roll and take a bite.

Olivia shrugged her shoulders. "I'm not picky. I'm starving."

Elliot pulled his plate from the microwave and stood across from her, leaning with his back to the counter. He grabbed a fork and started eating off the plate. He hadn't realized how hungry he'd been.

He stared over at Olivia, watching her as she picked at her food. He had always thought she was beautiful, but as he stared at her, he realized she was absolutely captivating. Her face was slightly flushed and her hair was a loose mess around her head. He watched her mouth as she took another bite of egg roll and felt a pang in his groin. Her mouth would be the death of him. He thought about her mouth on his…on his body and he stifled a groan. His body's reaction to her was immediate and he wondered if there would ever be a time when he would be able to look at her and not want to take her like he did now. He knew there would be but God…

He set down his plate of food and walked over towards her. She looked away from her plate and saw the look in his eyes and smiled. Seeing Elliot this way, his desire written on his face, in his eyes and in his body, caused her body to flush. She would never get tired of this.

Elliot pushed her legs apart with his body and rested his hands on her upper thighs, just above her knees. He squeezed lightly and then ran his hands up her thighs, taking the shirt with it until his hands were on her hips. He leaned in and captured her lips, a small growl escaping as he did.

"God. I'm never going to get tired of this." He murmured against her lips.

Olivia opened her mouth and Elliot wasted no time in deepening the kiss. His hands gripped her hips as he slid her body closer to the edge of the counter. Her breasts pushed into his chest as he wrapped one hand around her body and pulled her tightly against him. Olivia had her hands wrapped around his neck as they kissed hungrily.

He dragged his hands back down her hips towards her legs, running his fingers across the tops of her thighs. He let his thumbs slide towards her inner thighs, and felt Olivia's body tense underneath his hands.

"Relax." He mumbled against her lips as he continued to devour her mouth. Her breath hitched as he gripped her thighs and spread her legs wider. His mouth dropped to her neck as his fingers trailed across the front of her panties and he earned a low moan from her. He could feel how wet she was through the material and he slid two fingers beneath the sheer fabric. Olivia's head dropped back and knocked into the cabinets and Elliot's mouth left her neck. "OK?"

Olivia moaned, closing her eyes as Elliot's lips attacked her neck once again. His tongue trailed down to her collarbone. He pushed her t-shirt to the side, nipping and biting at the soft skin there while his fingers continued to rub her gently through her panties.

Olivia pushed her hips up, trying to increase the pressure of his hand on her. God she wanted him to rip her panties off and touch her…drive his fingers inside of her…

As if reading her mind, Elliot's mouth left her neck and he stood up. He pulled her closer to the edge of the counter and grasped Olivia's bicep with his hand. She opened her eyes and he could see the want there. He smiled, grasping her arm and pulling at it gently, pushing her back down on the counter. Olivia's eyes never left his as he cradled her head before it hit the counter. She swallowed hard as she lost sight of him…and then she felt his hands push her legs farther apart and she felt his hot breath on her core.

She moaned loudly as Elliot's hands trailed up, pushing her t-shirt up and grasping her panties. He put his mouth over her mound, sucking at her through the sheer material. Olivia bucked her hips up and Elliot slowly lowered her panties down her hips…then her legs. He dropped them on the floor and put her legs over his shoulders. He leaned in, letting his tongue trail over her folds. Then he trailed it back down, parting them with his tongue and finding her clit. Her hips bucked as he touched his tongue to her sensitive nub.

"Fuck!" she gasped, the sensations running through her already sensitive body threatening to overtake her already. "I'm..."

Elliot pulled back. "You're not going to get off that easy." he said and Olivia moaned.

"Goddamnit." she said in frustration as he placed small kisses along her inner thighs.

"Patience." he mumbled against her skin. He trailed his tongue along her inner thigh until he reached her core and he teased her with his tongue. He moved his fingers up to her entrance, and slid two fingers inside her. He felt her muscles clench against him and she groaned loudly, throwing her head back.

He ran his tongue back up to her clit and sucked and teased her while he pumped his fingers in and out. "Come for me Liv." he whispered against her and Olivia could feel the rush moving through her body. She bucked her hips up against Elliot's mouth and hand and he continued to drive his fingers into her and suck and tease her.

"Ohfuckohfuckoh…" Her entire body shuddered as her orgasm ripped through her and she pushed at Elliot's head, trying to stop the intensity moving through her.

Elliot pushed his fingers into her one last time and stood up, placing kisses along her belly as he held his hand against her. He felt her walls clench around him and he smiled, loving the way she reacted to his touch.

He looked up at her and saw she had opened her eyes and was giving him a hazy look. He smiled and pulled his fingers from her, dragging his hands to her thighs and lowering them from his shoulders.

"Jesus." Olivia said, closing her eyes again.

Elliot moved to stand between her legs again, reaching down to grab her upper arms and pulling her body to his again. He buried his mouth against her neck, kissing her as she rested against him.

Olivia couldn't seem to get control of her body; her orgasm had taken everything out of her. She allowed Elliot to hold her against him and she hummed lightly against his cheek. She could feel Elliot sucking and nipping at her neck and she knew he was probably leaving a mark. But she couldn't find any energy to push him away. She smiled against his cheek and wrapped her arms around his neck.

Suddenly, the front door opened and they heard "What the fuck?" They pulled back from each other quickly, and Olivia almost tumbled off the counter with the loss of Elliot's body against hers. He reached up and held her, still standing between her legs, as they both turned to see Dick standing there.

"Unfucking believable." He said as he stared at the two of them. Then he started laughing. "I should have known. It all makes sense now."

Olivia pulled herself farther back on the counter, tugging her t-shirt down her thighs and trying to distance herself from Elliot. She was mortified that they'd been caught in such a compromising position and by his son no less.

Elliot took that opportunity to step away from her and face Dick. "What are you doing here?" he asked, trying to recover from the shock of seeing his son standing there.

"I texted you Dad. I told you I was coming into the city and that I'd be here late." He said, anger in his voice. "But I guess you were told busy fucking your partner to get my text."

"Hey!" Elliot yelled. "Watch your mouth. You don't know what you're talking about."

"Really?" Dick raised his eyebrows, looking so much like his father when he did. He motioned towards Olivia, who was trying to make herself as small as possible on the counter. "She's sitting on your counter, half naked, with you all over her. I'd say I got it right." He looked up and down her body, making Olivia feel particularly uncomfortable. "I mean, I guess I can't blame you. She _is_ smoking hot."

Elliot took a step towards Dick and Olivia was afraid that he was going to smack him. She jumped off the counter and rushed over to where Elliot stood. She grabbed his arm. "El." She could see he was breathing hard, trying to calm himself.

"You apologize to Olivia." He said through gritted teeth.

"El…" Olivia started.

"No!" he barked at her, turning back to his son. "Apologize. Now."

Dick shook his head. "I'm not going to apologize to your girlfriend Dad. I'm not going to apologize for shit. Mom is home crying and you're here screwing your partner. You're such an asshole." He turned and marched back out of the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

Elliot turned and looked at Olivia, seeing the stricken look on her face.

"Go." She whispered. "Go after him."

"Liv."

"Go El."

Will you be here when I get back?" he asked.

Olivia shook her head. "No."

"Liv." Elliot pleaded.

"Go El. I won't be here, but I'm not going anywhere."

Elliot grabbed his keys and headed out the door after his son.

 _I know you're going to kill me for leaving it there but on to the next chapter.  
_


	18. Chapter 18

_No preamble. Let's just get to the story!_

EOEOEOEO

Olivia's legs still felt shaky after her _encounter_ with Elliot in the kitchen. Despite that, she moved quickly to the kitchen to retrieve her underwear, intent on getting out of there as quickly as possible. If Elliot did have any luck talking to Dick and bringing him back to his apartment, she did not want to be there.

She moved into the bedroom, looking for her t-shirt and her jeans. She found them and quickly pulled them on, looking at the mess they had made of the bed. She took a minute and pulled the sheets and comforter off the floor, pulling them up and making a half-ass attempt to make the bed. She contemplated changing the sheets…almost as if she was trying to cover up evidence of what they had done. She realized she didn't have time, she didn't even know where Elliot kept clean sheets, and covering up anything was ridiculous. She'd been caught with her pants down…literally.

She walked out to the living room, looking for the resto of her stuff. She found her shoes but couldn't find her keys. She tried to remember what she had done with them when she walked into Elliot's apartment, but her mind was all over the place. She hadn't exactly been focused when she walked in…and she wasn't any better now. She stopped and tried to think…and then remembered she had dropped them in the kitchen. She walked in, looking around, and finally saw they had been pushed up into the corner of the counter. She grabbed them and her mind flashed back to Elliot's mouth against her...and she shuddered. Later. She wanted to get home and then she could think about everything that had happened since she'd just decided to say _Fuck it_ and seduce her partner.

She didn't feel the doubt and regret that she was used to when she thought about Elliot, and she took that as a good sign. She headed out of the apartment and headed for home.

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot raced out of his apartment building and out onto the sidewalk. He looked left and then right, grateful that even though it was before 10, the streets weren't that busy. He spotted Dick on foot two blocks down, his backpack slung over his shoulder. He considered yelling after him, but figured he may take off. If he did that, he wasn't sure he would catch him. He took off running after him, trying to be as quiet as he could so he could catch up with him. When he was about a half block away, he called after him.

"Dick" he yelled. "Please. I want to talk to you."

He saw Dick pause, his legs tensed, as if deciding whether or not he was going to stay. Elliot reached him and put a hand on his shoulder. "Please."

Dick shrugged his hand off his shoulder and turned towards him. "I don't want to talk to you." He said, his tone still laced with anger.

Elliot looked at him and could see his eyes were glassy. Dick turned away from him and started walking down the street. Elliot took a couple of quick steps and walked alongside him.

"Please." He said. "Just come back to my apartment. It's late."

"I'm not going back there." He said.

Elliot knew he probably thought Olivia was going to be there.

"C'mon. Where are you gonna go?"

Dick shrugged his shoulders. "I'll figure it out."

"Dick. Please. Just come back with me. Just you and me. There's no one else there." He tried one last time. If he couldn't get him to come back with him, he would drive him home. He didn't want his 13 year old son wandering around Manhattan.

Dick glanced over at him for the first time. "Kicked your girlfriend out?"

Elliot didn't take the bait. He knew Dickie was hurt and was lashing out and he couldn't really blame him. He didn't know what Kathy had told the kids; if she had even said anything to them about a divorce. And even though he and Kathy had been separated for a while, it still must have been shocking to see him "involved" with someone else. Thirteen was a tough age for anyone to navigate, without all of this extra stress added.

Elliot risked putting his hand on Dick's shoulder again, stopping him in his tracks. "It's just you and me." Dick stared straight ahead and didn't say anything for a few moments, and Elliot didn't push. He figured it was just a good sign that he was listening. He saw Dick swallow hard and then turned towards him.

"I'm only coming back because I don't have anywhere else to go right now." he said. He looked up at Elliot, and he could see the anger and confusion in his face.

Elliot accepted his excuse, just happy that he was going to come back with him. He turned back towards his apartment, noting they were at least 6 blocks away now. He thought back to what Olivia had told him; that she was going to leave, but that she wasn't going anywhere. That gave him some measure of peace. He wanted to be able to focus on talking to Dick, and not have to worry that she was going to disappear on him. He would be forever grateful to her for understanding his need to talk to his son alone, and he hoped she'd had time to get dressed and out of his apartment.

They walked back to his building in silence, and Elliot could feel the anger radiating from him. He watched the sidewalk ahead, particularly as they got closer to his building, making sure they weren't going to run into Olivia as she left. He saw no sign of her and when they got to his building, they trudged up the stairs. When Elliot unlocked his apartment door, Dick hesitated. Elliot brushed past him and walked into the apartment, and then turned to face him. "No one's here." He said.

Dick stormed into the apartment past his Dad. "I don't want to talk to you." He said. "I'm just going to crash here and then I'll leave in the morning." He dropped his backpack next to the door and headed towards the bedrooms down the hall.

Elliot grabbed him by the arm. "No. We're going to talk about this."

Dick pushed his hand off his arm and turned towards him. "You can't make me talk to you." He yelled.

Elliot put his hands on his shoulders. "I know you're hurt. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He tried to get Dick to look him in the eyes, but his eyes were trained on the floor. "Just tell me what you're thinking. Whatever it is. I want to hear it."

Dick looked up at him. "You're such an asshole. How could you do this to Mom?"

Elliot sighed. He knew most of the kids would side with their mother. All of the years of working late, leaving early, missing events…he was paying the price.

"I know this is hard for you to hear, but you're old enough now to understand. Things between your mom and me have been tough for a while and that's why we decided to separate. We talked again just last night and I told her that I wanted a divorce."

"Because you're screwing Olivia?"

Elliot pursed his lips, trying hard not to react to his vulgarity. He knows Dick was trying to make him angry, but he was intent on keeping his cool and working through this. Before he could reply, Dick continued.

"I've always known." He said, a challenge in his voice.

Elliot wasn't sure what exactly he was referring to, so he kept quiet and let him continue.

"We could hear you guys fighting. Mom knew you were cheating on her."

"No! Never." He put a hand back on Dick's shoulder. "I never cheated on your mother." He decided not to focus on the fact that technically, he was still married, so he was cheating. But the intent was there…he was getting divorced. And he never cheated in the sense that Dick was suggesting.

Dick shook his head. "Then why was Olivia sitting on your counter with her underwear on the floor. Christ Dad. I may only be 13 but I can tell when someone's having sex."

"It's not like that." Elliot whispered, desperate to fix this with his son, but wanting him to understand.

"So what's it like Dad? Explain it to me. How long has this been going on?" He was yelling now and his face was red. "You're just going to give up your family…your kids! For a hot piece of ass?

Elliot was started again by his crude language. It was all he could do to keep his cool. He had his fists clenched at his sides. "I need you to leave Olivia out of this. This is between you and me."

"Hey. You're the one that brought her into this when you decided to leave us for her."

"Dick." Elliot pleaded. "I am not leaving you for her. Your mother and I haven't been good for a long time. You know that. You said yourself that you've heard us fighting." He sighed heavily. "I haven't always been a good husband and father, but I love your mom and I love you and your sisters. But none of us are happy with the way things are. Your mom deserves to find someone to make her happy."

"Like you have." He accused.

Elliot nodded. "I'm not going to lie to you. Olivia does make me happy." He reached out to grab Dick's arm but he moved back and didn't allow Elliot to touch him. "But you and your sisters are still my first priority. I'm not leaving _you_."

"Bullshit!" he yelled. "You're going to move on. You'll have a new family with Olivia and you'll forget all about us."

Elliot could see that his eyes were glassy and now he understood his fear and uncertainty. "Dickie." He whispered, using the name he used as a little boy. "No." He reached out and pulled him towards him, and this time Dick didn't resist. "No. I'm not going to do that." He pulled him into an awkward hug. "If anything, I want to figure out how I can spend more time with you. Make up for all of the time I missed while you were little." He pulled him into a full hug. "I missed so much and I'm sorry."

Dick pulled away. He was at that awkward age, stuck between boyhood and manhood, and Elliot understood.

"I don't know if I believe you." He said, his voice small. The anger was gone and Elliot could see the little boy in him.

"I understand. You don't have to believe me. I'm going to prove it to you." He said. "You and your sisters are my first priority." He dipped his head to capture Dick's eyes. "This job has taken a lot from me and I'm not going to let that happen anymore." He took a deep breath, knowing that what he was going to say next would tip the conversation one way or the other. "It's too late for me and your mom. But it's why I'm not going to let Olivia go." He swallowed hard. "At least, I don't want to let her go. So I need you and your sisters to work on accepting that." Dick's eyes moved up to meet his. "I love her."

Dick didn't say anything and Elliot felt a deep dread in the pit of his stomach. If his kids couldn't accept Olivia…if he was forced to choose…

He scrubbed his hands over his face. He was just going to have faith that he wouldn't have to make that choice. Life couldn't be that cruel. He looked over at his son, and saw that he was still looking at him. He could see the indecision on his face.

He spoke up quickly. "I'm not asking you to say anything right now." He sighed. "Just promise me you'll think about it and that we can work on our relationship."

Dick nodded. "OK." He said, his voice raspy.

"I'll talk to your sisters. I'm not sure what your mom has said."

"She hasn't said anything." Dick interrupted. "I didn't know anything until I walked in here." He gestured towards the kitchen and Elliot grimaced.

"I'm really sorry about that." He apologized again.

"You know what Dad. I'm really tired. I just want to go to bed." He said. Elliot could see the exhaustion on his face.

Elliot nodded. "Go to bed. We can talk some more tomorrow if you want." He moved to give him a hug but Dick turned away and walked down the hall towards the spare room. Elliot watched him go and thought over the conversation. While Dick wasn't ready to accept Olivia, it went about as good as he could have expected. Especially considering the situation.

He walked into the kitchen and saw the mess from dinner. He eyes the counter, his mind flashing back to Olivia writhing on the counter as she came against his hand and mouth. He was upset that Dick had walked in on them, but realized now it could have been so much worse. He leaned against the counter and ran a hand over his head. He was going to have to call Kathy and tell her what happened. He cringed inwardly. He didn't want to cause Kathy any more pain, but she would have to know what her son witnessed.

His mind drifted to Olivia. He wondered what she was doing right now. If she was re-thinking her promise not to go anywhere. He wanted to talk to her. He felt in his back pocket, reaching for his phone. He found it wasn't there and then realized he hadn't had it since Olivia had shown up at his apartment. He walked into the living room and saw it sitting on the end table next to the bottle of scotch. He sighed heavily. That seemed so long ago, but in reality, it was just a little over four hours ago. He scrubbed his hand over his face, grabbed his phone and sat down on the couch.

He wondered if she was sleeping, but then figured she wasn't. He opened up his messaging and sent her a text message, just in case she was. He didn't want to wake her with a ringing phone.

"Awake?" He hit send.

An answer came back almost immediately and he was surprised at the relief that flooded through his body.

"Yes. Can u talk?" Her message said.

He opened up the phone and hit #1 on speed dial immediately. She answered on the first ring.

"Hi." She said, her voice quiet. Elliot sighed, her voice sending a calm through him.

"Hi." He said.

"You OK?" she asked. He knew she wanted to ask him what happened, but that she wouldn't push him to tell her.

He glanced back towards the hallway, talking quietly in case Dick was still awake.

"Yeah. Dickie's here. Hopefully sleeping."

"Good." Olivia wanted to know more about what happened, but she was going to let him tell her at his own pace.

"He was upset." Elliot continued. "He said some pretty horrible things but mostly I just think he was confused. He didn't know that Kathy and I had talked about a divorce so he was a little shocked."

"I'm sorry El. I'm horrified that he walked in on that."

Elliot sighed heavily. "Yeah." He waited a beat. "I guess it could have been worse." He laughed a little and it startled Olivia, but eased the tension.

"El." She said.

"Well, it could have been." He said. "But once he got his anger out…I think it's going to be OK. Hopefully." He added. Frankly, he wasn't quite sure what to expect in the morning, but he was hopeful that they would be able to talk some more.

"The worst part is that I have to tell Kathy."

Olivia inhaled sharply. She hadn't thought of that. "Shit."

"Yeah. I have to tell her." He said.

"I guess you do." Olivia couldn't imagine that conversation and her heart went out to him. Suddenly her decision to show up at Elliot's tonight and set things in motion didn't seem like such a good idea after all. "I'm so sorry. I guess I didn't think this through…" she started.

"Don't." Elliot said. "Just don't." he knew what she was thinking. "I don't regret this Liv. Not for one second. And you promised me that you weren't going to leave."

"I know." She whispered into the phone. She'd been thinking about it since she'd been home and the truth was that she couldn't find it in herself to regret it.

"Promise me." He said, clearly not believing her.

"I already told you. I'm not going anywhere." She promised and she could almost hear an audible sigh over the phone.

"So…" Elliot said. He wasn't used to having long conversations with Olivia over the phone. Typically it was all business. Short and sweet. He wished she was there next to him.

"So..." she said.

"Is this where we have phone sex?" he asked.

Olivia laughed. "I don't think so." She said. "Haven't you had enough today?"

"Never Liv. I can never get enough of you." He said.

"OK. Well, you're going to have to try to get through the rest of the night without me." She said, glad for the break in the serious conversation.

Elliot sighed. "OK, but I'm not happy about it." He had a sudden thought. "What about tomorrow?"

"What about it?" she asked.

"At work. Are you…I mean…I assume we're just going to keep this between ourselves for now."

"God yes." She agreed.

"OK. And just so you know, I'm going to be wondering what underwear you're wearing underneath your clothes. So if I'm staring at you…"

"It will be just like any other day." She said, smiling as she said it.

"Liv." Elliot said, his voice quieting. "I love you."

"Good night Elliot." She said.

"Liv." He said. He wanted her to say it. He needed to hear her say it.

"I love you." She said quietly, and hung up the phone.

 _Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts!_


	19. Chapter 19

Hey there readers! Here's the next exciting installment! Just kidding. Hope you enjoy.

Elliot hung on to the phone, wanting to call her back immediately. He wished she was there with him. He would have loved to hold her in his arms and watch her sleep, her lush body curled into his. He thought about sleeping with her in his arms, waking her up gently in the middle of the night, and making love to her. Slowly learning her body this time. Hearing her moaning his name as she hurtled over the edge. He swallowed hard, feeling himself getting aroused at just the thought of her.

He opened up his messaging on his phone, sending her a text before he could change his mind. " _Really wish you were curled up here with me. I'm sorry things turned out this way. Not how I wanted to end the night_." He hit SEND, hoping he didn't sound like a complete sap. He and Olivia had never been comfortable sharing emotions or discussing personal topics. But now…there was so much he wanted to say to her.

He heard a buzz signaling an incoming message. He opened it up and read the message. " _Didn't know you were such a romantic Stabler._ " Elliot shook his head. He should have known better than to send a message like that to Olivia. Even though they had crossed all kinds of boundaries, they weren't going to change everything overnight. It would take time to learn how to communicate with each other like this. His phone buzzed again and he saw another message from her. " _I wish I was there too_. _Good night_." He smiled. OK. Maybe it wouldn't take that long.

After he read her message, he saw that he had other unread text messages. Sure enough, there were three messages from Dick reminding him that he was coming into the city to spend a few days with him, asking if he was home, and telling him he'd be there soon. And there was a message from Kathy asking him to confirm that Dick had arrived. Shit. If he'd heard his phone, he could have avoided this whole scene. But Olivia had caught him so off guard. _Jesus._ That was the understatement of the year.

He scrubbed his hands over his face, thinking about the call he had to make to Kathy. God, she was going to crucify him. Not only for what had transpired between he and Olivia, but also for having his son witness it. He sighed heavily, wondering if he should call her tonight or if it could wait until morning. He wondered if Dick had called his mom when he tore out of the apartment. He decided he hadn't, or he would have heard from Kathy. Or she would have shown up at his door, mad as hell.

He knew it was best to get this over with. He opened his phone and hit #2 on speed dial, not bothering to dwell on the fact that Liv was speed dial #1 and his wife was #2. The police shrinks would have a field day with that. The phone was ringing, and it had rung four times before he decided to hang up. She was obviously sleeping. He was pulling the phone from his ear when he heard her answer.

"Elliot?"

"Hey. Did I wake you?" he asked.

"Yeah. But I'm glad you called. Is Dickie there?"

Elliot sighed. "Yes, he's here. I'm sorry I didn't call earlier. He and I were talking and …." His voice trailed off. "I guess time got away from me."

"OK." Said Kathy. He could hear wariness in her voice and he knew he'd done a crappy job of disguising his distress at having to tell her. "Did something happen? Is he OK?"

"He's fine Kathy."

"But something happened to him?" She read between the lines, hearing what he wasn't saying.

Elliot sighed. "Well…"

"Elliot! What happened to him? Just tell me!" He could hear the fear in Kathy's voice. The fear of a mother that thought her child had been hurt.

"He's fine Kathy. He's not hurt. He just…well, I forgot he was coming and I didn't get his texts reminding me that he was coming."

"God Elliot. So he showed up and you weren't home? How could you forget he was coming to stay with you? He's your son. You can't make him a priority…"

Elliot tried to interrupt, not wanting to hear what a shitty father he was, at the same time he was wishing that was what had happened. "Kathy…just stop. I was here."

She stopped her tirade. "Oh."

Elliot took a deep breath and kept going. "Someone else was here too." Elliot didn't want to say her name, but it didn't really matter because she already knew.

"What?" He could hear the confusion in her voice. "What do you… _Jeez Elliot_. You mean Olivia was there with you?" He heard her voice break as she said it. "Oh my God…what did he…" she whispered. "What did he walk in on?"

"Nothing!" Elliot exclaimed, but he was lying and she knew it. Otherwise, he wouldn't be calling. There was silence and he knew he owed her an answer. "Just…." This was so fucking hard because he knew he was going to cause her more pain and he almost couldn't bear it. He knew they were getting divorced but she shouldn't have to hear this now. "We were kissing in the kitchen and he walked in." He thought about Olivia sitting on the counter, the t-shirt pooled high on her thighs, her underwear on the floor and scrubbed his hand over his face again. "He turned and walked out." He continued. "I caught up with him and we talked." He sighed. "I'm sorry Kathy. I never meant for that to happen. I didn't want him to find out about the divorce that way, but I had to tell him what was going on. I didn't know if you had said anything…"

"It was just last night Elliot!" she hissed into the phone. "You told me nothing had happened. That you weren't sleeping with her! You could have told me that you couldn't keep it in your pants and so I'd better tell the kids right away." The volume of her voice never increased, but he could her the anger growing. " _Chris_ t! I didn't know it was _my_ responsibility to tell them. It's something we should do together." Elliot could tell how upset she was because Kathy almost never swore, especially if it was breaking one of the Ten Commandments. He heard a sharp intake of breath and he knew something bad was coming. "You are such a lying bastard. How long?" She was back to a whisper.

Elliot didn't say anything. She had accused him of cheating on her before and he had been adamant that he hadn't. But the reality was that he had…he had been in love with another woman. He had an emotional attachment to Olivia; a woman that was not his wife. And no matter what he said, she wasn't going to believe that he hadn't been sleeping with Olivia all these years.

"Elliot." Kathy said, her voice even. That lack of emotion was startling after the tirade of emotion over the past few minutes.

"I told you that I haven't been sleeping with her."

Kathy caught him then. "Hadn't been…" Her voice trailed off. "I'm glad to see you waited so long after our talk." She hissed. "You son of a bitch." She said quietly, and hung up the phone.

EOEOEOEO

Elliot tossed and turned for the next several hours, thinking about Kathy and Olivia. He knew he'd hurt Kathy but there wasn't anything he could do about that now. He would try to talk to her today…to ease the sting. He had honestly not intended to explore this thing with Olivia like this. He'd expected to get divorced and then see where things lead. But that damn Dr. Collins with his eyes on her…his mouth on her. He didn't come this far to let her waltz off into the sunset with the handsome doctor. She was his.

He was startled when his phone rang and he grabbed it immediately, Cragen's familiar ringtone telling him their suspect had probably been seen.

"Stabler." He looked over at the clock and saw it was 2AM.

"We have a problem." He said.

"Our suspect?" Elliot asked, sitting up in bed.

"Yeah. We found him."

"And the uni's couldn't bring him in and lock him up until morning?"

"He's dead Elliot. I need you and Olivia over at the crime scene. I'll send you the address."

Elliot sighed. "OK. I'll get Liv and we'll be there." He hung up and swung his legs off the bed and dialed Olivia's number. It rang three times before she answered, and he found he was a little disappointed that she wasn't having trouble sleeping like he was.

"Benson." He heard her mumble.

"Liv. It's Elliot."

"I know. Is everything OK?" He smiled to himself, noting how little things had shifted now. Before, any phone call from him would be work related, but now…

"El?" he heard the question in her voice and he realized he hadn't answered her.

"Yeah. We got a victim."

Olivia groaned. "OK."

"It's Jimmy Canton."

"Shit." Olivia muttered.

"Yeah. Be there in ten."

He hung up, got dressed and started to rush out the door before he remembered that Dick was there. Damn. He went to the extra bedroom and opened the door quietly. Dick was sound asleep, sprawled across the bed. He shook him gently and Dick grumbled as he opened his eyes halfway. "What?" he mumbled.

"I got a call. I have to go in. Are you going to be OK here?" he asked.

"Yeah Dad. Whatever." He rolled over and pulled the blanket over his head.

Elliot hesitated, but thought he'd be OK. The apartment would be locked and he lived in a security building. He made sure Dick's cell phone was sitting next to him on the nightstand and that he left a light on in the hallway and the kitchen. He also left him a note, just in case Dick didn't remember him waking him up. He walked out and locked the door behind him.

He rolled up in front of Olivia's apartment building fifteen minutes and saw she was waiting for him on the sidewalk. She climbed into the car and immediately started giving him grief.

"I thought you said ten minutes." She joked. "It's been at least fifteen."

He chose to ignore her. "I hate it when you wait outside like that. It's 3 AM for chrissakes."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "I'm a cop Elliot. I'm armed. Did you forget?"

"No. I just…why take a chance? Just wait inside until I get here."

Olivia could hear the irritation in his voice, and she knew it wasn't because she was standing outside waiting for him. Something had obviously happened, because he never questioned her capability. He knew she could take out guys twice her size. So she assumed he was just in a piss poor mood and that it had something to do with his talk with Kathy.

She blew a breath out through her lips, ruffing her bangs. She was going to let it go for now, assuming he would tell her about it when he was ready. Driving to a crime scene probably wasn't the right time to have this conversation.

Elliot knew he was being an ass, but he couldn't help it. He was tired and upset and had a million other emotions wreaking havoc with his mind and body. He glanced over at her, and noticed she was staring out her side window, pointedly ignoring him. He sighed heavily, and reached over and placed his hand over Olivia's as it lay on her lap. She didn't respond and he let out huge sigh, starting to pull his hand away. But right before he did, he felt her grip his hand and give it a little squeeze. It was the reassurance he needed to get through the next few hours until they had a chance to talk.

The crime scene was an alley outside a bar that had seen better days. They arrived and saw that the ME, Melinda Warner, was already there. She turned to the detectives and gave them the information they need regarding manner and time of death. It appeared someone had beat the hell out of him and the cause of death was blunt force trauma to the head. It had happened sometime between 11 and 1, but no one had seen the body as it had been pulled behind a dumpster.

Elliot looked at Olivia. "This can't be a coincidence."

Olivia nodded, agreeing with Elliot. "Payback?"

"Payback." Elliot repeated with a heavy sigh. "Let's get back to the precinct and sort out a list of potential suspects. We can be reasonably sure it's not our rape victim. She's not big enough or strong enough to pull this off."

"I'll get the body back to the morgue and start looking for trace evidence. See if the perp left anything behind." said Melinda as she walked away.

Elliot and Olivia headed back towards the sedan. Elliot stood facing the car and braced his arms against the top of the door. "Can we stop at and get some breakfast? I'm starving."

Olivia pursed her lips together and nodded. It was only 5 AM and it was already turning into a hell of a day.

They drove to the precinct in silence and Elliot parked the car. They got out of the car and headed to a little diner a few blocks away, snagging their usual table.

The waitress brought them coffee as they settled into the booth, and they each placed their order.

Olivia watched Elliot's body language as he sprawled back against the fake leather seat, his arm resting along the top of the booth. She considered whether or not she should bring up the discussion with Kathy, but decided against it. She was so tired. She was sure she really wanted to hear it. It certainly couldn't have been good.

She'd kept going over it again and again in her mind last night, trying to decide if she should let Elliot go. But she couldn't find it in herself to regret what had happened. Elliot had told her that he loved her. He had told her that he was choosing her. And she promised she wouldn't run. And for once in her life, she was going to stand up for herself. She had to trust him.

She glanced over and saw that he was staring at her.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked, his voice almost a growl. He could see the wheels turning; her ability to overanalyze everything drove him crazy. He was almost certain that she had spent the better part of last night agonizing over the future…their friendship and their partnership, his wife and his kids…their jobs. It's what she did. He knew he shouldn't…she had been the one to tell him how she felt first. She had been the one that came to _his_ apartment and took _him_ to bed. But he couldn't get over the feeling that she was regretting it. That she was going to say it was a mistake.

"Not much." She said, shrugging her shoulders. She picked up her mug and took a sip.

"Liar."

She furrowed her eyebrows. _Was he trying to pick a fight_? Well, if he wanted to hear what she was thinking, she would tell him. She set her mug back down on the table. "I was thinking that the conversation with Kathy must have been difficult."

Elliot let out a strangled laugh. "Difficult?" He sighed heavily, his eyes dropping to his coffee mug. His arm dropped from the back of the booth and he leaned forward, staring into her eyes. "You have no idea." He paused a second. "I need to ask you something." He said. "And I need you to tell me the truth."

A mild panic filled Olivia…she couldn't read him right now and had no idea where this was headed.

"Are you sure this is what you want?"

Olivia's brows furrowed again. "What?" He had startled her with this question. Where in the hell had that come from? "Are you telling me that you don't?" Son of a bitch was going to back out. _She should have known. She should have known._

"You didn't answer my question." He said, his eyes never leaving hers. "I'm asking you if you've been thinking about all the reasons that this isn't going to work. Talking yourself out of this relationship."

"Why would you think that?" She was completely confused by his question. "I haven't done or said anything that would make you think that." The panic started to set in as she stared at him, trying to understand.

Elliot leaned back in his seat again. "I know how you operate Olivia. I know you've been thinking about it."

Olivia was dumbfounded. "You son of a bitch." She hissed at him. She leaned back against the bench and stared at him. "So what? Kathy put your balls through the blender and now you are going to go running home? And you want to make this my fault? You want to blame this on me running?"

"That's not what I…"

She stood up quickly, awkwardly trying to slide out of the booth, interrupting him. "No. Goddamn you. I knew I shouldn't have believed you." She could feel the pinpricks of tears at the back of her eyes and willed herself not to cry in front of him. She shook her head. "Well, lucky for you that you got to fuck me before you went back to your wife. That's what you always wanted isn't it? Now you don't have to wonder." She rushed past the booth and Elliot tried to snag her arm. But she evaded his grasp and rushed out of the diner.

Elliot slid out of the booth. He grabbed his wallet and threw some money on the table, rushing out after her. _How had this gone so wrong?_ He had just wanted to make sure she wasn't rethinking them…rethinking this. He wanted to reassure how. That the hell had happened?

He rushed out of the diner and looked left and right, but he didn't see her anywhere. Where had she gone so quickly? He leaned against the wall and took a deep breath. God, he had really fucked things up this time.

 _Thanks for your reviews._


	20. Chapter 20

_I really appreciate all of the continued comments and reviews. I hope you enjoy this next chapter._

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Olivia ducked into the coffee shop two doors down from the diner, and moved quickly towards the back. Luckily, it was early and the place was quiet, so the restroom was empty. She rushed in and locked the door behind her. She walked over to the sink, and braced her arms against it, rocking slightly on feet as she stared into the mirror. She was breathing deeply, willing herself not to cry. _I should have known. I should have known._ The words kept repeating through her head.

She was so disappointed in herself; in allowing this relationship to move forward before he was officially divorced. She had never meant to tell him how she felt…but it had just come out when he'd asked her about Adam. And despite the fact that he'd told her that he loved her too, she had told herself to move slowly. She told herself she wasn't going to sleep with him until he had those damn papers in his hand. Maybe longer. And then…damn it. She had foolishly decided to throw caution to the wind and say _fuck it._ She closed her eyes, wondering what had possessed her to do it when it went against her better judgment.

She saw him leaning over in the booth and looking at her with a look of uncertainty in his face… _Are you sure this is what you want_? She had known he had talked to Kathy. That they had probably argued about her…and about what happened with Dickie.

 _Are you sure this is what you want?_

The bastard was having second thoughts and trying to get her to be the bad guy. Hoping she would back out so he could go back to his wife. She swallowed hard, her anger building. Anger at Elliot for not knowing what he wanted. Anger at herself for believing that they had a chance.

Her phone buzzed in her pocket, but she ignored it. She knew it was Elliot. And she was not going to answer it. She reached over and turned on the faucet. She splashed some cold water on her face and sighed heavily. She had to head back to the squad room. She would have to face Elliot. She wasn't going to let him see that he had affected her. He hadn't. _Keep telling yourself that Benson_.

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot walked into the squad room and his attention immediately focused on Olivia's desk. It didn't appear that she had been in yet. He turned to Fin.

"Where's Liv?" he asked.

Fin gave him a puzzled look. "She's _your_ partner. Weren't you with her at the crime scene?"

Munch chimed in. "You lose her Stabler?"

Elliot didn't say anything. He strode over to his desk and pushed his chair back, collapsing into it. He pulled out his phone to see if she had answered any of his phone calls or texts. He knew she wouldn't, but he had to check anyway. _Where the hell had she gone_?

Cragen came out of his office and walked over towards Elliot. "Where's Liv?" he asked.

Elliot sighed. "She'll be here soon." He said, trying to buy some time.

"OK, well do you want to give me an update of what you found at the crime scene or do we need to wait?"

"I can give you an update." He stood up and walked over to the board, giving Cragen, Munch and Fin an overview of what they found at the crime scene. He was in the middle of talking through next steps when Olivia walked into the squad room. Elliot paused, watching her as she walked over to her desk and dropped her things in her drawer. She walked over to where the group was standing, pointedly not looking at Elliot. She could tell her was staring at her. She leaned back on Munch's desk, her arms crossed.

Cragen looked at Olivia and then back to Elliot. He could tell there was tension between them and he sighed. These two could fight with the best of them. He'd seen them cut each other to the bone, and then defend each other to the death in the next breath. When they were fighting, the situation was almost untenable, but they still managed to get the job done. He sighed, knowing there was nothing he was going to do about it. He looked back at Elliot. "Keep going."

Elliot finished up and Cragen handed out assignments, directing Olivia and Elliot to visit the close male friend of their victim. He looked at Olivia. "Is that going to be a problem?" he asked, raising an eyebrow as he spoke, then turning his attention back to Elliot.

Olivia shook her head. "No." Olivia pushed off Munch's desk. "No problem."

Elliot huffed and headed towards his desk. "No problem Cap'n."

Cragen looked back and forth between the two detectives, trying to decide if he should push it any further. He decided they would work it out like they normally did, sighed and walked back into his office.

Once he was in his office, Elliot looked over at Olivia. She was digging through her files, supposedly look for the name of the friend that their victim's boyfriend had been so bothered about.

"Liv." He said, trying to get her attention without Fin or Munch paying any attention.

She continued to ignore him, so he walked around his desk towards hers. "Hey." He said, in a loud whisper. "I need to talk to you."

"There's nothing to talk about." She said. She continued to look at the files on her desk and Elliot was getting frustrated.

"Olivia." He said a little more forcefully. "We need to talk."

She looked up at him briefly, her jaw set. "We have nothing to talk about."

"Are you kidding me?" He practically growled and Olivia gave him a sharp look, quickly glancing over at Munch and Fin. So far, they either hadn't heard them or were pretending not to. She looked back at him.

"Keep your voice down." She snapped, a little louder than she had intended, and this time she saw Munch's head pull up as he looked over at them.

She grabbed her badge from her desk. "Let's go." She said. She didn't really want to get into an argument in the squad room. They had agreed to keep their personal life separate from their work life, and here was Elliot blowing that to hell. She turned and headed for the lobby and the elevators. Elliot was just a step behind her and when they were out of sight of Munch and Fin, he grabbed her arm, turning her towards him.

If looks could kill, he would be dead. She wrenched her arm from his grip. "Don't touch me." She hissed at him.

"We're going to talk because that conversation this morning was bullshit." He grabbed her arm again and pushed her down the hall. He didn't know where they were going to go, because he'd have to go back through the squad room to get to the cribs or the locker room, and he couldn't risk anyone seeing them. Olivia was looking at him with a combination of embarrassment and anger, her eyes darting around as uniforms and civilians and others milled around them and he dropped his hand from her arm. They stood staring at each other.

"Olivia." Elliot said, a warning in his tone. He furrowed his brows. If she wasn't willing to go talk to him, then he was just going to talk her. "I don't know what the hell you thought I was trying to say this morning…"

Olivia cut him off. "What are you doing?" She scowled at him. She didn't want to talk to him and she definitely didn't want to have any kind of personal conversation in the lobby.

"I told you. We need to discuss this. I'm not leaving here until we do."

Olivia stared at him and could see the determination in his eyes. She knew he wasn't going to let it go. She let out a frustrated sigh. "Fine." Talking to him was against all her better judgment, but since she'd pretty much abandoned all reasonable thought when she'd seduced her partner, she figured what did she have to lose? He could rant and rave at her, get it out of his system and then they could get back to their jobs.

She turned and headed back into the squad room, pointedly avoiding a look at Fin or Munch as she headed for the stairs. She could hear that Elliot was few steps behind her, and when they reached the cribs, he shut and locked the door. She turned to face him, her arms crossed and her lips pressed together firmly. He looked at her, noticing her posture and the anger on her face.

He let out a huge sigh, trying to quench his anger. He knew that anger wasn't going to help the situation. He needed to be calm…rational. He clenched and unclenched his fists, nervous energy coursing through his body. When he finally felt calm enough, he looked back at her, noticing she hadn't moved.

"Do you want to tell me what happened in the diner this morning?" he asked quietly.

Olivia looked back and forth between his eyes, thrown by his calm demeanor. But she could see the anger below the surface, in the way the muscles in his jaw tightened. She closed her eyes and sighed heavily. "It's fine Elliot. It's my fault. I pushed you and you weren't ready. I knew better. I told myself to wait but I…" her voice faltered.

"What are you _talking_ about?" Elliot asked. "I don't know what you think I was trying to say this morning but whatever you think you heard…I just wanted to make sure you weren't rethinking the whole thing! I know how you Olivia. And I know that you've been thinking about this since Dickie walked in on us. I wanted to make sure that even though it's going to get complicated sometimes, you still want this!" He scrubbed his hands over his face. "Christ! Do you honestly think that I would sleep with you just to get it out of my system? Do you think that's what I wanted?" He was yelling now, despite his best efforts not to. "God Olivia. I _love_ you. I thought you understood that. I never would have…never." He turned around and slammed a fist into the door, startling her as the sound reverberated through the room. "Fuck!" He cradled his hand and Olivia cringed. She had seen him beat the hell out of all kinds of inanimate objects, trying to rid himself of the anger and frustration he felt, but she had never been the direct cause of it. At least not that she knew of. She watched him, unsure of how she was feeling…of what to say.

He whirled around, cradling his injured hand with his other arm. "Listen to me, because I'm only going to say this once. I'm not going back to Kathy. That's over. I love _you_. I want to be with _you_. And it pisses me off that you don't understand that. And that you would think that I would just fuck you just to check it off some bucket list." He took a few steps closer to her. "So you need to decide Olivia. Decide if you can get over whatever bullshit is running through your mind, telling you that this isn't going to work. Telling you that you don't love me too. Because I know that's a fucking lie. And _you_ know that's a fucking lie." Suddenly, his shoulders sagged. All of the anger drained from him and suddenly, he was just exhausted. "Why won't you just let us be happy together?" he whispered. "We could be happy." He dropped his hands to his sides and just stared at her.

Olivia swallowed hard. She knew the next move was hers to make. She looked at Elliot, and she could see the pleading in his eyes. She couldn't deny her feelings for him…she didn't want to. Despite all the voices in her head telling her that she could be hurt…that they could ruin each other…she had a fleeting thought that maybe they could make each other happy.

Elliot shook his head, noting her hesitation. She wasn't able to get out of her own way and let herself need anyone else. Her crazy, fucked up childhood had made her think she wasn't worth loving and he just hadn't been able to break through. He hadn't been able to convince her otherwise. He sighed. "OK Liv. I'm not going to fight you anymore." He turned his back towards her and headed back towards the door. He needed distance.

When he reached the door, he heard her move and he assumed she was leaving, trying to get distance from him as well. But suddenly, he felt her arms wrap around him and she buried her face between his shoulder blades. He was surprised and he hesitated a second before he grasped her hands with his. He didn't move; he didn't say anything. He just relished the feeling of her warm breath against his back and the pressure of her arms around him. He waited, not knowing what she was going to do or say.

"I love you." She murmured into his back and he felt something loosen inside of him. Something he'd been holding inside since she'd stormed out of the diner this morning. He grasped her hands with his and pulled them from his waist, turning around. Olivia didn't lift her head, but buried it in his chest as he pulled her towards him, wrapping his arms tightly around her and placing a kiss in her hair.

"I love you Liv." He ran one hand up her side until he reached her face. He caressed her cheek, and then rested his fingers lightly on her jawline. He lifted her face to his and looked into her eyes. "Forever." He placed a gentle kiss on her lips. And then she was reaching up with both hands, wrapping them around his neck and placing her mouth over his. She pulled his bottom lip between hers and bit it lightly before releasing it. Elliot threaded one hand in her hand, cupping the back of her head and deepening the kiss. His tongue slid into her mouth and she felt the now familiar jolt of desire course through her body and she found herself wondering if she would always react to his touch…his kiss…this way.

Elliot turned them and her back was against the wall, next to the door. He cradled her head but kept kissing her, his body pressed against hers, as he kissed her hard and deep. He heard a moan escape from the back of Olivia's throat, and it hit him between the legs. He pressed his body into her, giving her no relief from the hard wall, until he felt her hand on his chest.

"Stop." She tried to say as he continued to devour her mouth. She pushed against him and he pulled his mouth from hers. "They're going to be looking for us. We have…" she struggled to talk as she caught her breath. "We have a job to do."

Elliot took a step back, knowing she was right. They had agreed to keep their personal life out of the squad room. But looking at her standing there, her skin flushed, her breath heavy, her lips parted…he wanted to carry her over to one of the cots and take her. And he knew that it would always be like this for him now. This intense desire…this physical need to have her.

He closed his eyes. "I know." He sighed. "Just…Jesus Liv. Please don't walk out on me again like you did this morning." He swiped hand across his mouth. "We have to really work on how we communicate with each other because I can't take that." He moved closer to her again and kissed her gently. "I know it's going to take some time but promise me? OK?"

"I can't promise that." She said quietly, trying to be honest with him. She immediately saw the anger start to flare up again. She placed the palm of her hand on his cheek. "But I'm going to try."

Elliot sighed, knowing that was probably the best he could hope for. "Ok." He gave her a devilish smile as his hands dropped to her waist. The intensity in the room was stifling, and he tried to lighten the mood. "I think you owe me an apology."

Olivia seemed to consider him for a moment. They had always been great at fighting, but never very good at apologizing to each other. Maybe it was time to start. "I'm sorry if I overreacted this morning." She said.

Elliot shook his head. "That's not going to cut it Benson." He said, rocking his pelvis into hers. "You can do better than that."

Olivia raised an eyebrow at him, thinking he was damn lucky she'd even apologized. But she could play along. "Hmmm. What did you have in mind?" she asked, a small smile on her lips.

"Use your imagination Detective." He said, kissing her quickly one last time before he pulled open the door and headed out of the cribs, leaving her behind.


	21. Chapter 21

Hey everyone! Trying to get another chapter out before I fly off to London for a week. So here you go. I hope you enjoy! Thanks to _**writersrefinery**_ for "proofing" the smut!

EOEOEOEO

Cragen came out of this office and saw Elliot and Olivia coming downstairs from the cribs. He walked towards them as they walked towards their desks.

"I could have sworn I told the two of you to go talk to our victim over half an hour ago."

Olivia looked up at him, and found herself wishing she had bothered to glance in the mirror before she left the cribs. She reached up and smoothed her hair, hoping there was no evidence of what they'd been up to in the cribs.

Elliot raised his eyebrows, glancing quickly at Olivia and then back at Cragen. "We were just leaving." He said.

"What happened to leaving a half an hour ago when I told you to?"

Elliot raised one eyebrow and looked at the Captain. He was obviously pissed off about something, so he knew he had to tread carefully. 'Liv and I just had to clear up a misunderstanding before we took off." He knew that Cragen knew they were fighting. He would have been able to tell when Olivia walked into the squad during their meeting. And it shouldn't have been a surprise because they'd had their share of fights over the years. "But we're leaving now." He snagged the car keys off his desk.

Cragen shook his head. "Why rush out now? Get your asses in my office." He said, standing to the side and gesturing towards his open door.

Olivia chanced a quick glance at Elliot as she walked by him, and he fell in line behind her. When Cragen followed them in, he shut the door behind him and motioned for Elliot and Olivia to have a seat.

He sat down in his chair and steepled his fingers, looking back and forth between the two of them. He sighed heavily before he started talking. "I've cut you two a lot of slack over the years."

Elliot and Olivia stayed quiet, unsure of where this conversation was going.

"I don't know when you two decided that you could pick and choose which orders you were going to follow."

"We were on our way." Elliot started.

"That may be, but I'm sick of all of the crap the two of you are dragging into my squad room. I've put up with it because frankly, you're two of my best. But I feel like it's getting worse. And I'm questioning if it's impacting your job."

Elliot shook his head. "Cap'n. We were just leaving. Canton's dead…30 minutes isn't going to matter."

Cragen shook his head. "That's what I'm talking about." He pointed a finger at Elliot. "This cavalier attitude towards the victims. That's not you. You're too wrapped up in your own bullshit and it's impacting your ability to do your job. You don't get to delay going to interview witnesses or suspects or anyone else because you and Olivia have to work stuff out." He made air quotes when he said _work stuff out_. He leaned over his desk towards them. "If you two can't work together any more, then I'm not going to have any choice but to split you up." He leaned back. "Maybe I should have done it a long time ago."

Olivia's breath hitched and she wanted to look over at Elliot, but she didn't dare.

"No need to do that." Elliot said. "We know we've got a job to do." He looked at the Captain, his gaze clear as he watched him. Elliot was puzzled by the Captain's reaction, because he didn't think that they had done anything in particular to tip off the Captain. This minor delay in going to see their victim wasn't anything major compared to all of the other crap that had happened over the years, so he wasn't sure why the Captain was choosing this time to bring this up. He couldn't possibly know what had happened between him and Olivia…maybe he was just being paranoid.

Cragen looked back and forth between Elliot and Olivia. Olivia was looking down at her hands that were clasped together in her lap, but Elliot was watching him. He knew they were close. He always wondered how close. If they had crossed the line at some point. He worried that it was happening so gradually right under his nose that he'd miss it, and so he'd been extra vigilant. He didn't have any hard evidence that they had, but he had sensed a small shift; the tension between them seemed different. And well, here they were.

"Is there anything the two of you aren't telling me?" he asked. He knew they wouldn't confess to anything, but decided it was worth a shot. He wanted to see their reaction.

Olivia looked up at him and shook her head, her expression neutral. "No Cap'n."

Elliot nodded in agreement. "Nothing to tell. We just had a stupid argument and it's resolved and we're on the case."

Cragen leaned back in his chair, knowing they'd heard what he was asking. "Go." He said, dismissing them.

Olivia didn't look at Elliot as they walked out of Cragen's office.

"What did you two do now?" asked Munch, leaning back in his chair. "You two spend more time in Cragen's office than anyone else combined."

They both shot him a dirty look as they walked by, but they didn't say anything. When they reached the foyer, they looked at each other as they waited for the elevator. They both wanted to say something, but knew this wasn't the place. The elevator finally came and they rode down in awkward silence. When they finally climbed into the sedan and closed the doors, they let out a collective sigh of relief.

"Shit." Olivia said. "Do you think someone heard us in the cribs? Or saw us?" She knew that they'd been yelling…or rather Elliot had been yelling, and she wasn't sure how the sound carried. And then after the yelling...if someone had come up to the cribs, they may have heard or seen them. They hadn't exactly been paying attention to see if anyone had walked up to the door.

Elliot shook his head. "No. I don't think so. If Munch or Fin heard or saw anything, they would have given us shit for it for sure. And if Cragen had seen anything." He looked over at her. "We wouldn't be sitting here together right now."

Olivia looked at him, thinking through what he had said. "I guess you're right." She wasn't completely convinced. "Cragen definitely thought something was up." She said, looking back over at him.

"Yeah, that was definitely weird. But I think he was just fishing."

"I hope so." Olivia said. She settled back in her seat as Elliot started the car and they headed out to talk to Hayden.

EOEOEOEO

They had spent over an hour talking to Hayden. She'd been so upset that it had been hard to get any information out of her. Then they'd gone and talked to everyone at the party that had been there when the initial attack happened. It was after 4 when they finished up with all of the interviews, and they were both exhausted.

Olivia called the Captain when they left the last interview, bringing him up to speed. They hadn't been able to find the good friend of Hayden's that had been the object of Canton's rage, so they had a good feeling he was their guy. Olivia hung up the phone.

"Cragen told us to go home and start fresh tomorrow." She said.

"Sounds good to me." Elliot looked over at Olivia. "You as tired as you look?"

She nodded. "Yeah." She said quietly, dropping her head back against the seat.

"So…I should just drop you at home?"

"Yeah." She looked over at Elliot, thinking back to this morning in the cribs. She definitely wanted to pick up where they left off, but she was so tired, she honestly didn't know if she even had enough energy to walk up to her apartment.

As if reading her mind, Elliot piped up. "You know, if I wasn't so tired, I'd collect on your debt." He teased.

Olivia rolled her eyes. "Promises promises."

"Liv."

Olivia rolled her head to the side to look at him. "Yeah?"

"Maybe if you fed me a little, I could find some energy."

Olivia laughed, lifting her head from back of the seat. "Why doesn't that surprise me?" She smiled at the easy way they were teasing each other. This was all new for them, and she was amazed at how easily they had fallen into this.

"I can't help it. You're irresistible." He flashed a smile at her before he looked back at the road. They pulled up in front of her apartment just a half minute later. She opened up the door, but noticed Elliot hadn't turned off the car. She bent down and looked over at Elliot.

"You're not coming in?"

"I have to pick up Dick at 8." He said. "I don't want to rush out on you again." He said. He really wanted to go up with her, but they're first night together had ended in disaster, and he didn't want her to think that he was always going to be running out on her.

"It's just dinner El." She laughed at his presumption. "I don't care if you run out after Chinese food." She stood up and slammed the door, and smiled as Elliot turned the car off and got out of the car. He followed her up to her apartment and they pulled out the menus and picked something to eat.

"Go ahead and order and then make yourself at home." She said. "There's beer in the fridge. I'm going to go change." She headed off to the bedroom.

Elliot hesitated, wondering if she wanted him to follow her. He finally decided no. She had been clear about dinner…and hadn't made any suggestive comments as she headed towards the bedroom. He picked up the phone and placed the order. He reached into the refrigerator and grabbed two beers, opening them up and carrying them into the living room. He sat down on the couch, stretching his legs and taking a swig of beer. He toed off his shoes and put his head back on the couch, closing his eyes.

Olivia came out of the bedroom. She had pulled on some black leggings and an old gray hoodie that actually belonged to Elliot. She loved the feeling of it against her skin and she always thought she could smell him on it when she wore it. When she came around the corner, she took in the sight of Elliot on the couch, and she wondered if he was asleep. It still gave her a little jolt to see him here…like this. He'd been in her apartment before, but very rarely. This was definitely different and she smiled, thinking about the fact that this could very well be the beginning of many nights together. She walked quietly towards him, not wanting to wake him if he truly was sleeping.

As she neared the coffee table, she reached for her beer. But before she could grab it, Elliot's hand darted out and seized her wrist, startling her. "Jesus!" She cried.

Elliot laughed and let go of her wrist. "Asshole." She said, punching his arm playfully.

"Asshole?" He grabbed her wrist again, pulling her towards him. "Did you just call me an asshole?" He pulled her down towards him so she was bent over, and he grabbed her bicep with his other hand. "You're going to pay for that Benson." In one swift motion, he pulled her down on his lap, forcing her to straddle him. He reached around and cupped her ass, pulling her tight against him, before his hands slid up to her biceps, holding her in place as she struggled.

"Let me go." She said, laughing as he nuzzled his face in her neck.

"No." he said, almost in a petulant tone. "You called me a bad name and now you have to make it up to me." He placed open mouthed kisses along her collarbone. "Isn't that my sweatshirt?" He mumbled between kisses. She laughed but didn't answer. He kept placing kisses along her shoulder, pushing the heavy sweatshirt to the side, slightly off her shoulder.

His eyes flicked up to hers, and he raised an eyebrow at her. "Well, well. Aren't you full of surprises."

She looked up at him through her eyelashes. "I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about."

Elliot traced a finger down her chest until he reached the zipper. He grabbed the zipper pull and fingered it. "It seems to me that maybe…just maybe…you don't have anything on underneath this sweatshirt." He started to pull it down slowly, until Olivia put a hand over his, stopping him.

"I don't want to be responsible for you passing out due to lack of energy." She whispered, pulling his hand from her zipper and leaning in, placing a chaste kiss on his lips.

"Not going to be a problem." He growled at her, sliding his hands down her sides, gripping her hips and grinding her against him. Olivia closed her eyes and gasped.

"But I thought you said you needed to eat something…"

"Oh, I'm going to eat something." He whispered, sliding his hands back to the curve of her back. His words sent a small shudder through her body, but she laughed at his words.

"Nice."

"I've always been a smooth talker." He said, mumbling against her neck as kissed the soft skin there. He slid his hands into the waistband of her leggings and slid them down to cup her ass. He hissed and pulled away. "Jesus Christ Liv. You're not wearing any underwear either?" He rocked his hips into her while he pulled her against him again. "You are pure sin woman." He whispered.

Olivia ran her hands over his cheeks, and crashed her lips against his. She slid her tongue into his mouth and tangled with his, moaning into his mouth. She was still amazed at how little it took for Elliot to get her completely aroused. A few kisses…the touch of his hands on her skin…and her body responded immediately.

Elliot pulled his hands from her pants and slid them up her sides, under the sweatshirt. He pulled them out quickly, frustrated by the bulky material. He wanted his hands on her bare skin. He wanted to feel the weight of her breasts in his hands. He wanted to drive her mad with his tongue against her sensitive nipples. His fingers found the zipper again, and he pulled it down slowly, following the path of the zipper with his tongue. Olivia let her head fall back, relishing the feel of his tongue against her skin. She felt goose bumps break out as the cold air met her flushed skin and she groaned as Elliot took her breast into his mouth as he peeled the sweatshirt from her body. Once he had dropped it on the floor, he reached for her other breast with his hand, and squeezed gently, running his thumb over her sensitive nipple.

Olivia gasped. She was feeling a low burn in her abdomen as Elliot continued to drive her mad with his tongue and his hand. _Shit._ He was actually going to make her come like this and her breath hitched. Most men she'd slept with appreciated her breasts, but passed them quickly on their way to the main event. Little did they know they were one of the most sensitive parts of her body. And Elliot seemed to know exactly what to do heighten every sensation.

Olivia arched her back and clenched her thighs together. _Jesus_. She could feel the liquid heat between her legs and small shudders were starting to run through her body. She raked her fingers through the short hair on Elliot's head, wanting him to stop…but begging him not to.

"C'mon. Let go." Elliot whispered.

Olivia couldn't do anything but moan as the familiar rush started moving through her body. Elliot didn't relent until he felt the hard shudder of her body against his mouth.

" _Fuck_." She said as she clenched her thighs against his again and braced her hands against his shoulders. " _Fuck_."

Elliot smiled. Olivia didn't usually swear very often, but he was finding that she had the mouth of a sailor in the bedroom. When he had thought about Olivia in the past, he had always thought there was probably a wild side to her, so he wasn't completely surprised at her boldness…her blatant sexuality. And he loved it.

Olivia's heart had slowed down, and she leaned in and captured Elliot's lips with hers. She slid her tongue into his mouth, forcing Elliot's head against the back of the couch. She ran her hands down his chest until she reached the hem of his t-shirt. She tugged at it, breaking the kiss long enough to pull it over his head. She dropped her mouth to his neck, nipping gently at the skin, and then soothing it with her tongue. She slid down between his legs as she trailed her tongue down his chest, trailing her long fingers down his sides as she moved down his body.

Elliot's breath hitched as she circled his belly button with her tongue. She dropped her hands down to his thighs, and squeezed lightly. She moved her hand over his hardened length, rubbing him through his jeans, and Elliot thrust up into her hand and groaned.

"Liv." He said hoarsely as she continued to tease him with her hands. She looked up at him through her lashes and gave him a sultry smile before dropping her mouth against him. His body jolted as she pressed her mouth against him and he grabbed her shoulders, trying to pull her up.

"No." he rasped.

She pushed his hands from her shoulders. "Just paying up." She teased, unbuckling his belt and lowering his zipper.

Elliot shook his head. He wasn't going to be able to take it if she put her hands on him…much less her mouth. He felt like a teenager because but he was finding that when he was with her, he had no control. He hoped it was because this was so new…because he wanted her so much…that it would get better.

"No." he said forcefully, grabbing her wrists and pulling her up to him. "I can't handle that right now." He whispered as he drew her face close to his. "I _need_ to be inside you." He had told himself that he was going to let her set the pace…that he would be gentle with her. But right now, he couldn't.

He pushed her back but left her standing between his legs. She was watching him, wondering what he was going to do. He dropped his hands to her waist, dipping his fingers inside the waistband of her leggings and tugging them down to her knees. She gasped as the cold air hit her…and again as Elliot slid his fingers between her legs.

He grinned when he felt how wet she was, and he slid his fingers between her folds, sliding them back and forth. She gasped as his rough fingers slid against her sensitive nub, and again as his fingers teased her entrance. She tried to open her legs a little to accommodate him, but she was trapped with her leggings at her knees. She dropped her head back and moaned as he continued to slide his fingers back and forth, and then his fingers were gone. She lifted her head and looked down at him, and saw that he had lifted his hips and was pulling his jeans and boxers down over his hips. He put his hands back on her hips, pushing her away slightly so he could stand up. He came up behind her, running his hands around her waist, and then smoothing them up her abdomen until he reached her breasts. He cupped her breasts while placing kisses along her shoulder. Olivia leaned her head back against Elliot's shoulder, her arousal coursing through her body.

Elliot's hands left her breasts and he trailed his hands up to her shoulders. He ran his hands down her arms until he got to her hands. He grasped her hands in his and leaned over with his back against hers, forcing her forward. He placed both of her hands on the back of the couch, so her arms were outstretched, and pressed his hands on top of hers, letting her know he wanted her to stay there.

He leaned in and whispered in her ear. "OK?" He pulled back slightly. His hands left hers and trailed down her sides until he reached her hips.

Olivia could feel his erection against her ass, and she pushed back against him, letting him know she was fine.

Elliot hand slid down over her ass and then between the backs of her thighs, finding her entrance. He knew it would be tight with her legs bound by her leggings, and he slowly slid a finger inside. Olivia moaned, and pushed her hips backwards. She dropped her head between her outstretched arms. "Fuck El." She moaned. She wanted him inside her. This slow torture was killing her. She drew in a deep breath and pushed her hips back again. "Stop fucking around." She moaned.

Elliot pulled his hand from between her legs, and fisted his cock, lining it up with her entrance. He pushed in slowly, groaning at the sensation of her tight walls enveloping him.

Olivia pushed back again, forcing him in further, and Elliot grabbed her hips, trying to still her. " _Jesus_." He swore. She was so tight around him and he felt like he was going to come as soon as he was all the way inside of her. His fingers dug into her hips as he continued to push inside, and they both groaned at how deep he was.

Elliot was still, trying to maintain a sense of control as her walls continued to clench around him. His eyes trailed up her spine…her head was still hanging between her arms, and he could see the smooth, pale skin of her neck, her hair dropping down the sides of her face. He hoped she was OK with this position. He wanted to be deep inside of her.

At that moment, Olivia lifted her head and looked back at him. "Fuck! You have to _move_." She rasped as she tried to push back against him. Elliot smiled, grasping her hips and pulling himself backwards, almost pulling out of her completely before he slammed back into her. Her arms buckled slightly…she hadn't been prepared.

Olivia let out a loud groan in response, bracing her arms again. Elliot pulled back again, slamming back into her. With each thrust, Olivia let out a loud groan and a string of swear words mixed with his name. She met him thrust for thrust, pushing back at just the right moment. Her arms were starting to tremble and Elliot could tell she was close as her walls pulsed around him.

"El…I…shit…fuck…" Her entire body was starting to shudder and her arms buckled again. Elliot dropped one hand from her hip and slid it around her waist, holding her up as he continued to drive into her.

Olivia's entire body clenched as she felt her orgasm wrack her body and she let out a garbled sound, gasping for breath. She was clenching around him so tightly that it drove him over the edge and he pulled her tight against him as he released himself inside her. They stayed like that for a few minutes…trying to get their breathing and their bodies under control. Elliot pulled out slowly and pulled Olivia back into his body, wrapping his arms around her and resting his head on her shoulder.

"You OK?" he whispered.

She laughed. "Does it seem like I'm OK?"

"I just. Well, I know that's kind of…well…not the most intimate but…"

Olivia loosened his arms and turned around, wrapping her arms around him. "El. Don't worry. I'm not some teenager having sex for the first time. In case you haven't noticed, I'm rather enthusiastic when it comes to sex. And I trust you. If you do something I don't like…you'll know it." She placed a kiss on his jaw. "And there was absolutely nothing that I didn't like about _that_." She leaned in and whispered in his ear while her hand dropped and cupped him. "You were so deep inside me and I loved it."

Elliot's knees almost buckled. He wasn't used to talking about sex…at least not with someone he was actually having sex with.

He growled in her ear and was about to say something when the buzzer rang. Olivia laughed.

"Timing is everything." She reached down and pulled up her leggings and then reached for her sweatshirt. She nodded her head towards Elliot. "Better pull your pants up El. Dinner's here."

 _Please leave a review. I'd love to know what you're thinking!_


	22. Chapter 22

_Cheerio! I finished up this chapter in London today…so this is a multi-continental fanfic! Please let me know if you're still interested in the story. If so, I'll keep going. Thanks!_

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot grabbed his jeans and hiked them up and grabbed his t-shirt from the floor as Olivia headed for the door.

"I'm going to use the bathroom." He said as he headed in that direction. He closed the door and used the toilet. When he was done washing his hands, he looked in the mirror, bracing his arms against the counter. He let out a deep breath, thinking back to what just happened. _What was his problem?_ Olivia had asked him to come up for _dinner_. And he'd been on her in minutes. His lack of control around her surprised him. He'd been controlling the looks…the touches…for years. He'd kept his desire under wraps…controlled. This shouldn't be any different. Except now that he'd kissed her and touched her, his desire for her had been unleashed and he was completely addicted to her.

He let out a heavy sigh. He just had to learn to control himself. He had to let her take the lead. She had wanted to wait. When that had been blown to hell, he knew they should take things slowly. But then he'd practically attacked her the minute they'd walked in the door. Even though she didn't stop him, he felt like he should apologize.

Elliot walked back out of her bedroom, and saw she was unpacking the food in her kitchen. He came up behind her, caging her body with his and placing his hands on either side of her on the counter.

She looked back at him as she continued to unpack the food. She smiled. "Hungry?"

"Yeah." Elliot rested his chin on her shoulder. "Starving."

She had finished unpacking the food, but Elliot hadn't moved away from her. His body was up against hers and he had his cheek against her cheek. Olivia could tell her wanted to say something else, but she knew communication between them had never been easy. She bumped her butt back into Elliot. He wasn't letting her up. "Do you want to eat right here?" she joked.

"I just wanted to tell you that…." He hesitated. Apologizing had never been his strong suit. "I shouldn't have…"

"Stop." Olivia said, pushing back against Elliot so he was forced to stand up. She turned around to face him. "Whatever you're going to say, just don't."

"But you invited me up for dinner and I couldn't keep my hands off you for even two minutes."

Olivia shook her head and placed her hand on her right cheek. "El. Did you hear me say no?"

Elliot didn't say anything. He knew she hadn't. And she also knew she would have if she had wanted him to stop. It was just more of a feeling on his part that he was pushing her too hard too fast.

Olivia laughed. "What did I just get done telling you? If I didn't want to have sex with you, I would have said no." She ran her fingers down his cheek and rested her hand on his shoulder. "Plus, I can kick your ass any time I feel like you're not listening to me."

Elliot grabbed her around the waist and pushed her back against the counter. "I know." He looked back and forth between her eyes. "Olivia. It just scares me how much I want you. All of you. And I don't want to push you too hard. I don't want…"

"You don't want me to freak out like I did this morning." Olivia suggested.

"No!" Elliot said. "Well. Yes." He stood up and scrubbed a hand over his face. "This scares the hell out of me Olivia."

Olivia looked at him, waiting to see what else he was going to say.

"This _thing_ between us. It's just so… _much_." Elliot ran a hand over his head. "I don't even know what I'm trying to say. Except that if you leave me now, it'll kill me. And I just feel like I want you so much…in every way…mentally, emotionally, and physically. But I'm afraid that I'm going to scare you off with the need." He groaned and turned away from her. He was frustrated because he couldn't seem to find the right words to convey what he was trying to tell her.

Olivia moved up and slid her arms around his waist, resting her head against his back. "I know. I feel the same way. And it scares the shit out of me El." She whispered. "But you're not pushing me. If you remember, I'm the one that came over and seduced you. I'm not quite sure why I have to keep reminding you of that." He placed his hands over hers and squeezed lightly, and she could feel a small laugh in his belly but he kept it inside. "And I'm sorry about this morning." She continued. "I was tired and I was thinking about your talk with Kathy and what happened with Dickie and it all just seemed so damn difficult, so when you asked me if this is what I really wanted…my mind just jumped to the wrong conclusion. All my insecurities just bubbled to the surface."

Elliot turned to face her, putting his hands on her upper arms. "I've told you its over. I'm not going back. I don't want to. I want to be here. With you."

"I know."

"I'm serious."

"I know."

"Olivia." He wanted to be certain that she was really hearing what he was saying.

"Elliot. I know. Last night I told myself that I was going to get out of my own damn way. And I did. And look what happened." She smiled. "I had a momentary lapse this morning, but I'm not backing away. You're not going to scare me off." A sly smile crossed her face as she reached for the zipper of her sweatshirt. "In fact, I may be the one scaring you off." She started to pull down the zipper down slowly. "You think _you_ want? Well, let me tell you what _I_ want." She bit her lower lip as she pulled the zipper all the way down and Elliot groaned as her breasts came into view.

"Jesus Liv. You don't give a guy a chance." He reached for her then, grasping both breasts in his hands and crashing his lips against hers. He drove her backwards until her back met with the counter. He continued to massage her breasts and could feel himself already starting to get aroused. He dropped his mouth to her ear. "You're going to be the death of me." He whispered, pushing his groin against her.

Olivia's body was already sensitive, and Elliot's hands were causing more heat in her body. She let her head fall back as Elliot trailed his tongue along her neck until he found her pulse point. He sucked at the spot, and Olivia's legs started to tremble. She was already feeling loose limbed from their previous encounter and her body was pretty well spent. She put one hand on his chest and pushed against his chest lightly. Elliot pulled back quickly.

"Bedroom." She said with a small smile on her face. She pushed him back and hooked her hands in the front of his jeans, tugging him along behind her.

Elliot grabbed her hand and stopped walking, forcing her to stop as well. "Liv."

She turned, a question in her eyes.

"I want to." He moaned. "Believe me. I want to."

She raised an eyebrow, waiting to hear what he could possibly have to say.

"I have to go pretty soon. I have to pick up Dickie by 8. Which means I have to leave by 730."

She smiled and dropped her hand from his jeans. "It's fine El."

He grabbed her arm. "You know I want to."

"It's fine El. Do you think I'm mad? I'm not. I know you can't leave Dickie sitting out there waiting for you." She pulled her sweatshirt closed and zipped it up. "Let's just get something to eat quickly before you have to go." She walked by him back towards the kitchen. "I'm starving."

They dished out some food, and carried it into the living room. Olivia curled her legs up on the couch as she ate and looked at Elliot.

"Do you want to tell me about your conversation with Kathy?" she asked. "I mean, you don't have to tell me if you don't want to." She said quickly. She wanted to let Elliot know that he could talk to her.

"Well, it was about what you would imagine."

"So you told her that Dickie walked in on you and me?"

Elliot nodded. "I said he saw us kissing. But I may have omitted a few small details."

"Such as?" Olivia prodded.

"That fact that you were half naked and that you're panties were on the floor."

Olivia closed her eyes and shook her head, wishing she could change what happened.

"I figured she didn't need to know all of that. But it didn't help much." Elliot blew air out through his pursed lips and put his plate back down on the coffee table. He ran his hand over his mouth and down over his chin. "She was hurt." He said in a quiet voice. "Even though she knew how I felt about you…she was hurt that we were…together…just one day after I told her I wanted a divorce."

Olivia heard what Elliot said, and she felt a twinge of guilt. But Elliot had told her the marriage was over…no matter what. She bit her bottom lip, determined not to give in to regret. "I'm sorry Elliot."

"Don't be. I'm not sorry. I mean, I don't want to cause Kathy any pain, but she knew it was over. She knew I was in love with you. That wasn't any surprise to her. I think it was just the shock of having Dickie find out that way. She's protective of the kids. As she should be." He leaned over and cupped her cheek with his hand. "I'm not sorry about anything that's happened."

She rested her hand over his. "Me either."

EOEOEOEOEO

They finished eating and it was time for Elliot to leave. Dickie had come in to the city to attend a three day martial arts class at a studio in Manhattan. Kathy had hoped to channel his energy into something productive and Elliot had enrolled him in the class since it was close to his apartment. He thought it would also give him an opportunity to spend some time with Dickie.

But as he stood at the door kissing Olivia goodbye, he wished Dickie had taken the class any other week of the summer. The way Olivia wrapped her body around his was driving him crazy, and he wanted to take her up on her earlier offer to take things into the bedroom. He pulled his mouth from hers and pushed her back gently.

"I have to go." He groaned.

"I know." She said, giving him a seductive smile.

"You do know that you're killing me."

She smiled again. "I'll see you tomorrow." She pushed him out into the hallway and closed the door.

She leaned against the door for a moment, thinking about how quickly things were moving along with Elliot. It wasn't a surprise considering the build-up the past seven years. For once in her life, she knew what she wanted and she wasn't going to let herself get in the way anymore.

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia finished cleaning up their dinner, stashing the leftovers in the refrigerator and washing up he dishes quickly. This day had been such a rollercoaster. She was exhausted physically and emotionally. What she needed was a nice hot shower and a good night's sleep.

She walked into her bedroom and started to unzip her sweatshirt when she heard the buzzer. She groaned. Who could be stopping by at this time of the night? It had to be Elliot. No one else just stopped by without calling first. She wondered if plans with Dickie had changed and Elliot had come to spend the night. She sighed as she walked towards the intercom. Seeing Elliot would be great, but she really needed to sleep.

She pushed the intercom button. "Who is it?" she asked with a small laugh.

"Olivia? It's Kathy Stabler."

 _Oh shit_. Her smile was gone in a second. That was not who she was expecting. She hesitated, unsure of what to do.

The intercom buzzed again. She wondered if Kathy was looking for Elliot. She wondered how Kathy knew where she lived. Maybe if she stalled long enough, she would give up and leave.

The intercom buzzed again. She wasn't giving up. Olivia let out a huge sigh.

She pressed the intercom button. "Elliot's not here Kathy."

"Let me up Olivia. I don't want to talk to Elliot. I want to talk to you."

Well… _shit_.

She hit the buzzer, unlocking the security door downstairs. She assumed if Kathy knew what building she lived in, she probably knew what apartment too.

She zipped her sweatshirt back up and quickly looked down at what she was wearing. God, she was wearing Elliot's sweatshirt. And she could still smell him on her skin. She could still feel him between her legs.

She walked into the living room and looked around. She spotted the beer bottles on the coffee table and snagged them, bringing them into the kitchen and tossing them in the trash. She looked around again, feeling like there was so much evidence that he had just left. She wondered if the apartment smelled like sex.

She closed her eyes and let her head fall back as she let out a heavy sigh. This was not good timing and she was not prepared for this. She opened her eyes when she heard a knock on the door. She took a deep breath and went over to open the door. She unlocked it and swung the door open to see a visibly upset Kathy Stabler on the other side.

"Kathy." She said. "What are you doing here?"

"Can I come in?" she asked.

"Um. Sure." She swung the door open and Kathy walked in, stopping in the small foyer while Olivia closed the door. They stood there awkwardly for a moment, until Olivia motioned for her to go into the living room.

Kathy walked in and sat down on the couch, and Olivia had a vision of her leaning against that same couch with Elliot pounding into her from behind. She closed her eyes and shook her head slightly, trying to erase the memory from her mind.

"Can I get you something to drink?" she asked, unsure of what to say.

Kathy shook her head. Olivia looked at her, trying to figure out what she was thinking. It was obvious she had been crying at some point. Her eyes were red and a little puffy. But now she just looked pissed.

"Was Elliot here tonight?" she asked.

Olivia knew there wasn't any point in lying. "Yes. He was."

"Is that his sweatshirt?"

Olivia nodded.

"Did you have sex with my husband tonight?"

"Kathy…" She really didn't want to get into this with her.

Kathy let out a small, strangled sound. "You know what? I think back to the first time I met you. When Elliot brought you home for the first time, I knew you were going to be trouble." She whispered. "And then over the years, I saw it happening. There was no way I could compete with you."

"Kathy…" Olivia started again.

"We've been married for almost 20 years Olivia. 20 years! I gave him a nice home, four beautiful children and all of the love and support he could ask for. But you. You tempted him. You're gorgeous and you tempted my husband. You could have any man out there and you have to steal mine? What's _wrong_ with you?" She stood up. "I trusted you Olivia. I sent my husband to work every day…and trusted that he would come home. But less and less of him came home every day. "

"Whatever happened between you and Elliot has nothing to do with me." Olivia said.

"Do you really believe that?"

"It's true. I didn't do anything to encourage him." Olivia said.

Kathy let out another laugh. "You don't have to do anything. Look at you! You're like a damn pin-up girl. You scream sex!"

Olivia shook her head. "No."

"You know that's all it is. He doesn't love you." She smiled. "You spend 12 hours together every day, dealing with the same shit he does. He thinks he has a bond with you. He's built up this image of you. This need for you." She's yelling now. "And it didn't take you very long to give him what he wanted. But now that he got in your pants, he'll be done with you." She shook her head. "What else do you have to offer him except your body?"

Olivia swallowed hard, trying not to let the self-doubt consume her. She knew it wasn't true, but she hadn't known that Kathy had such a cruel streak in her. It made her angry. She knew she was hurting…that she should ignore her words. But she was done. Before she could say anything, Kathy lashed out again.

"He's going to miss his kids. He'll miss his family life. He'll get tired of you and come home. He always does."

Olivia stood up, sick of listening to this rant. "Elliot loves me Kathy."

Kathy shook her head. "No. No. No."

"I know that you've been married for a long time, and I've done what I could over the years to help Elliot see what he had at home. And I know that I didn't do anything to encourage him. But he's told me he's done and that he loves me and I believe him. And I love him too."

"You bitch." Kathy said, her tone dark. "You're a homewrecker. Have you thought about our kids at all?"

"It's _you_ that's being a manipulative bitch." Olivia lashed out. "Elliot's stayed with you as long as he has out of a false sense of obligation. How many times have you talked him out of leaving because of his kids? Or his marriage vows? Anyone can see that he's miserable!" She clenched her fists. She'd never hit Kathy, but she could feel the desire to do so. She walked away from her, trying to calm herself before she turned back around, but she was still yelling. "He finally had the balls to leave. He finally decided what he wanted and I am not going to let you guilt him into coming back home."

Kathy's jaw was set and Olivia could see the anger in her eyes.

"Even if Elliot didn't want to be with me, I still wouldn't want him to go back home Kathy. He's miserable. He's been miserable to work with. You use your kids like pawns in some sick game. He loves his kids, and he will never give them up. But you just have to face the fact that the marriage is over." She walked back towards Kathy. She lowered her voice. "It's time to move on."

Kathy's hand darted out so quickly that Olivia didn't anticipate the slap as it hit her cheek, and she quickly moved her hand to cover the sting. She turned back to Kathy with an incredulous look on her face. She had seriously underestimated this woman.

She took a step towards her and she saw Kathy watching her with wariness. "I'm going to pretend like that didn't just happen because I know you're upset." She said, her eyes narrowing. "But you listen to me." She took another step towards Kathy and she unconsciously took a step backwards, almost stumbling back on to the couch. "I love Elliot. He loves me. I want for all of us to get along, for Elliot's sake and the sakes of your kids. But you can't intimidate me and I'm not going to let you force Elliot to come back home. It's not going to happen." She stood and stared at Kathy for a moment, and then she took a few steps back. "Now get the hell out of my house."

Kathy stood for a moment, just staring at Olivia.

"This isn't over." She said.

Olivia could still hear the anger in her voice, tinged with something else she couldn't quite name. Fear? Hatred? She wasn't sure. All she knew is that she was done with this conversation.

"It's over." Olivia said, her tone dark and menacing. She started walking towards the door and opened it, turning to face Kathy.

Kathy stood in place, angry that she was being dismissed. "I'm going to talk to Elliot." She said. "You can't stop me."

"You can do whatever the hell you want." Olivia said.

Kathy walked towards her. "He won't choose you." She said as she walked out the door.

"He already did." Olivia said, slamming the door behind her.


	23. Chapter 23

_Thanks for all of your reviews for the last chapter. I guess everyone loves a good fight! Keep the reviews coming._

EOEOEOEOE

Olivia leaned against the back of the door and took a deep breath. She couldn't believe she had done that. It had felt good to stand up for herself and for what she wanted, but almost immediately, the regret started to sink in. She was worried about what Elliot would think. Would he be angry with her for confronting Kathy that way? What Elliot could say or tell Kathy was one thing. What she could say was another. She blew a breath out through pursed lips. Well, it was done now and there was nothing she could do about it.

She debated if she should call him and tell him, but she knew he was with Dickie and may not be able to talk. She wondered if Kathy would head over to his apartment and make a scene. Perhaps it would be better if he heard it from her first. She sighed and walked over to the counter, snagging her cell phone and hitting #1 on her speed dial. There was no way Kathy could get there that quickly if she was headed that way.

The phone range twice before Elliot picked up. "Hey" he said. "Everything OK?" He knew Olivia wouldn't call unless it was something important, since he'd just left her and she knew he was with Dick.

Olivia took a deep breath. "Can you talk? I just need a minute."

"Um. Sure. Hold on a second." Elliot had been sitting with Dick, so he excused himself and headed to the bedroom, closing the door.

"OK." He said. "I can talk. What's going on?"

"Elliot. I have to tell you something and you're probably not going to be very happy." Olivia decided to prepare him a little.

"OK." He said cautiously, worried about what she was going to say. "Just tell me."

Olivia took a deep breath. "OK. Well, after you left someone buzzed from downstairs."

"Was it that Adam guy? Elliot asked, his jealousy immediately spiking.

"What?" His comment through Olivia off. "No!" She let out a sigh. "It was Kathy."

"Kathy?" Elliot said. That was the last name he expected to hear. "How does she even know where you live?" he asked.

"I hardly think that's the most important thing here." Olivia said.

"You're right. OK. What did you do?"

"I thought maybe she was looking f you but she said she wasn't. That she wanted to talk to me."

"And?" Elliot prodded.

"I let her up."

Elliot let out a heavy sigh. He had hoped that perhaps she had turned her away. He knew a confrontation between the two of them would not end well. "OK."

Olivia could hear something in his tone. Anger? Disappointment? "What did you want me to do?" Her tone was laced with anger in response to his comment.

"I didn't say anything." He took another deep breath and moderated his tone. "OK. So what happened?"

"I wasn't quite sure what she was going to say to me so I just listened." She paused. "I don't really want to get into it El. But let's just say she was angry when she left. I wanted to call you in case she heads over there."

"Liv. Just tell me what she said. I need to know."

"She's upset. I don't want you to be angry with her." Olivia said.

"Olivia. You're pissing me off. Just tell me what she said." His tone was escalating.

"OK! I'm not going to tell you everything that was said but basically, she asked me to leave you alone. She said to think about your kids…that it was just a fling and that you'd eventually go back home so I should end it now before more people got hurt."

Elliot cursed under his breath. He already had concerns with Olivia's insecurity about their relationship. And while she said she wouldn't leave, he knew she had a guilty conscience when it came to his kids. "Liv. You know that's not true. This isn't a fling. Tell me you know that." He pleaded.

"Calm down." She said. "I know. I told Kathy that. I told her that I loved you and that your marriage is over. She got really angry and told me that if you had to choose, you wouldn't choose me."

Elliot sighed. "You know that's not true." He said quietly.

"You know what? A week ago, I would have believed her. But now…Elliot. I told her that you already did."

Elliot smiled and closed his eyes, relief flooding his body.

"Are you upset with me?" she asked tentatively.

"God no. I'm happy that you stuck up for yourself. For us. It makes me feel like this could really happen."

"I have news for you. It's already happened." Olivia said playfully, relieved that Elliot wasn't upset. But then she turned serious again. "What if she tries to take the kids away?"

"I'd like to see her try. You know what? Maureen and Kathleen are grown and out of the house. It's just Dick and Liz. And they're old enough to make their own decision. It might sting for a bit but it's going to be fine. We'll work it out. Kathy will calm down."

"I hope so." Olivia said, and Elliot could still hear a little bit of a question in her voice.

"It's going to be fine. I'm glad you called and told me what happened." He said.

"Well, I wasn't sure if she was going to come storming over there so I thought I'd better give you a heads up."

"Well, I appreciate it. And by the way, I do want to hear everything she said to you…and you to her."

"It's not important. You got the gist of it."

"Did she say something nasty to you?" Kathy was typically a calm person, but over the years, their fighting had escalated and Kathy had let him know exactly what she thought of Olivia and their partnership.

"It's nothing I haven't heard before El. It's fine." There was no way she was going to repeat anything Kathy said to her to Elliot. It would just make him angry and upset and they didn't need that. "I'm going to get going." She said. "I just want a hot bath and some sleep."

Elliot dropped it, knowing she wasn't going to tell him. "Alright. You know I love you right?"

"I know. Good night." Olivia hung up the phone and headed towards her bathroom. She was certainly ready for that hot bath now.

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot walked back out into the living room where he had left Dickie. They'd been watching the baseball game, and Elliot could see that it was still on.

"Was that your girlfriend?" Dickie said, disdain in his voice.

Elliot felt a spike of anger, but he didn't bite, choosing to ignore his comment instead. "Need anything to drink?" he asked, walking over to the refrigerator for a bottle of water.

Dickie didn't answer him, so Elliot walked back into the living room and sat down. "What's the score?"

"You didn't answer my question." Dickie said, shooting him an annoyed look.

"OK." Said Elliot evenly. "Are you asking if it was Olivia on the phone?"

Dickie rolled his eyes. "You got more than one girlfriend? I have to call them by name?"

Elliot turned his attention back to the game. He wasn't going to engage if Dick was going to continue to have this attitude. He wanted to work this out with him, but he didn't want to listen to him trash Olivia.

"OK, we're not going to have this conversation if this is how it's going to be. I've asked you to try to accept the situation and I know it's going to take some time. But I can't have you take it out on Olivia. She hasn't done anything wrong."

"Nothing wrong Dad? I thought about what you said, and you're still married to Mom!"

"I already told you that I'm sorry that you walked in on that. But your Mom and I had already agreed to get a divorce. We aren't getting back together." Elliot paused but Dick seemed to be listening. "I already told you that I never cheated on your Mom. Not that I have to explain myself to you, but that was the first night I ever kissed Olivia. Ever."

Dick didn't say anything. He kept looking at the TV, but Elliot knew he wasn't really watching the game.

"I'm sorry that things didn't work out with your Mom. I really am. But we've just grown apart. I wish I could change that but I can't. We're not happy together. That doesn't have anything to do with you kids. I still love you and your sisters to death. And as a matter of fact, I still love you Mom. I always will. But we can't be together."

"Because you love Olivia." Dick said it as a statement, not a question.

'It's more complicated than that." He honestly couldn't separate it all anymore. "But I do love Olivia. And I know it's going to take some time, but I want us all to get along."

"I don't know if I can do that." He said, and Elliot couldn't fault him for his honesty.

Elliot shook his head. "I'm your Dad. I'll always be your Dad and I'm not going to give up my relationship with you. So for now, I'm going to take what I can get. And over time, I hope you can learn to accept that I'm going to be with Olivia. Because she's not going anywhere. Do you think you'll ever be able to get used to the idea?"

Dickie shrugged his shoulders, effectively dropping Elliot's hand. "I don't know." He got up and turned towards Elliot. "I don't want to talk about this anymore. I'm going to bed."

Elliot didn't argue with him. He was happy that at least they weren't yelling at each other. He stood up and tried to pull Dickie into a hug but he avoided him. "Good night." Elliot said, his arms dropping by his sides as he passed by.

Elliot sat back down on the couch and settled in with a heavy sigh. He thought back over everything that had happened that day. The misunderstanding with Olivia in the morning, the conversation with Cragen, the confrontation between Olivia and Kathy, and now his conversation with Dickie. He had known that this wasn't going to be easy, but this day had been absolutely exhausting. He wasn't used to talking about things and tamping down his anger. He was out of his comfort zone and he knew it was just beginning. He needed a day of chasing perps and interrogating scum to balance all this out.

He leaned his head against the back of the couch. He closed his eyes and thought about Olivia. He wished she was here with him. He had always imagined making love to Olivia; spending hours wrapped around her luscious body. He thought back to what had happened earlier today. The feel of her breasts in his hands, the smooth column of her spine as she was stretched out in front of him, the curve of her ass as he ran his hands over her body. Everything had been too rushed. He regretted having to leave her after each time they'd had sex. He hoped they would get to spend that time together soon. Because he was really, truly addicted to her now.

He picked up his cell phone, wondering if she was sleeping. He wanted to talk to her, but didn't want to seem too needy. She had told him she was tired and that she was going to bed. They had enough interrupted nights, so he decided to leave her be.

He thought about Kathy, and wondered if he should call her. He was a little surprised that she hadn't stormed over to his apartment like Olivia thought she might. He never wanted to hurt Kathy, and he hoped that she'd made it home safely. He sighed heavily and dialed her number. He was surprised when she actually answered.

"Kathy?"

"I suppose your girlfriend called you."

Elliot was getting annoyed with everyone's attitude when it came to Olivia; as if everything was her fault. "Why didn't you talk to _me_?" he asked. "Why did you go over and attack Olivia?"

"I don't know what she told you but I didn't attack her. I simply told her that you belonged at home with your wife and your kids." Kathy said, her tone clipped.

"I've told you that it's over. I'm not coming home." Elliot said, exasperation in his voice.

"I get it. She's a beautiful woman and you were attracted to her. You wanted to have sex with her and she was more than happy to let you. But now it's done. It's over. I forgive you for your indiscretion. It's time to come home."

"You're not listening to me. Do you honestly think this is about _sex_?" He took a deep breath, trying not to get angry. "This is between you and me. How long are we going to do this? We've been separated…we've been trying to work it out but nothings changed. I don't want to try anymore. Because it would only be for the kids. And that's not a reason to keep a marriage together."

He could hear Kathy crying on the other end. "But I don't know how to be on my own." She said quietly. "I don't have anyone."

"Kath. I'm sorry but you know as well as I do that being married to me doesn't make you happy anymore."

"I can't talk to you anymore." She said, still crying, and she hung up the phone.

"Kath." Elliot said, but she was gone.

He felt like a shit for how she was hurting right now. But he knew it was still the right thing to do. He knew that she would see that at some point in the future and he hoped that she would find someone to love like he loved Olivia.

He sat there for a moment, and then saw he had a text message. It must have come in while he was on the phone with Kathy. He smiled when he saw it was Olivia. He opened it up.

" _Just wanted to say good night_."

He smiled and answered her. " _Did you get your bath_?"

" _Yes. It was wonderful_." Was her reply.

Before he could send a reply back to her, another message came through. " _I wish you could have been there with me."_

Elliot groaned. Now he was going to have that vision in his head all night. Good thing he was so exhausted or he wouldn't be getting a wink of sleep. He hit reply. " _Have I told you you're pure sin? Thanks for another sleepless night._ "

" _Well, there's always tomorrow night. Good night_."

Elliot smiled. There was always tomorrow night.


	24. Chapter 24

Elliot walked into the squad room a little late after dropping Dickie off, and saw Olivia was already at her desk. He dropped a coffee and a bag from the bakery at her desk.

"Good morning." he said.

She glanced up at him, raising an eyebrow. "Good morning." She gestured towards the bakery bag. "What's this for? You trying to make up for something? Some bad news coming my way?"

Elliot rounded his desk and sat down. "Nah. Just trying to make sure you keep your energy level up." He gave her a quick smile and Olivia looked down at her desk quickly, avoiding eye contact. Hopefully, the meaning of that was lost on Fin and Munch who overhead everything anyone said in the room.

Never one to leave anything alone, Munch chimed in. "I want to hear more. Is Benson going to be doing something today that requires extra energy?"

Olivia shot him a look. "Shut up Munch. You don't even know what you're talking about."

Munch wiggled his eyebrows. "Care to enlighten me?"

Olivia would be worried if she thought he actually might know something. But she knew it was just a normal fishing expedition for him. "You wish."

She was saved just then by Cragen walking out of his office. He walked over and stood between Olivia and Elliot's desk.

"Just got an update and our suspect is still in the wind. Did you get any idea that Hayden knows where he is?"

Elliot shook his head. "She keeps insisting that she doesn't think it was him."

"You believe her?" he asked.

Olivia piped in. "It sounded like he got pretty angry when he saw what Hayden's boyfriend had done. I couldn't get a good read on her. So I guess I still think he's our most likely candidate. Plus the fact that he's apparently running makes him look even guiltier."

"You think we should take another run at her?"

"We can try. We can also go back and talk to his co-workers and his neighbors. See if they know anything new." Elliot said.

"Might as well." Said Cragen. "Otherwise we've got nothing. Unless we come up with any other suspects."

Elliot and Olivia agreed to talk to Hayden again, while Fin and Munch took off to talk to his Jeff Davison's co-workers.

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot and Olivia returned to the precinct two hours later, frustrated by the fact that they hadn't been able to get anything more out of their victim, Hayden. She hadn't wanted to report the assault in the first place, and now he boyfriend was dead and her friend was a suspect. She didn't want to talk to them at all.

Elliot had found out that CSU had found the murder weapon, an aluminum baseball bat, and had been able to lift a few prints. The problem was that they didn't have any prints in the system that matched, so their suspect had no criminal record. They had also heard from the ME that she didn't have additional evidence for them either. All in all, they had no more leads and no direction. Unless they could locate Jeff Davison.

When they got back to the precinct, they saw that Fin and Munch were already back.

"You guys back already?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah." Said Fin, not looking up from whatever was on his desk.

"And?" asked Olivia.

"Your suspect is chillin' in Interrogation 1." He smiled at Olivia.

"What?"

"Yeah. Genius showed up at today." Munch said. "Couldn't believe it. We walked in and asked for him and the receptionist pointed to his desk and he was just sitting there."

"He hasn't said a thing but hasn't lawyered up. He's just waiting for you." Said Fin.

Elliot and Olivia looked at each other. "OK." It was nice to have a suspect dropped in their lap.

They decided now they wanted to play it and went in to question their suspect.

EOEOEOEOEO

They came out of the interrogation room an hour later, frustrated and with no information. But they did compel his fingerprints, so were anxious to see if they were a match with the prints CSU had found. He hadn't seemed fazed when they mentioned they had them, so now Olivia was a little worried.

"I'm not sure he's the guy. He has no record, and he didn't seem worried. Guy like that would normally be freaking out if he was hauled in for something, and was guilty." She said as she and Elliot walked back into the squad room.

"Yeah. I don't know but I guess we'll find out. Let's get out of here and grab some lunch. I'm starving." Elliot said.

"You buying?" Olivia smiled.

"You still owe me." He said.

"And you want me to pay you back with a free lunch?" She sauntered closer to his desk, giving him a small smile.

Elliot shook his head. "Absolutely not. I have other plans for you." He said quietly after making sure no one was within earshot.

Olivia leaned over his desk, moving her mouth close to his ear as he leaned against his desk. "I'd like to hear all about it over lunch." She whispered, sending a rush of heat through him.

"Benson. Stabler." Cragen yelled from his office door. Olivia stepped away quickly, distancing herself from Elliot. "We got a new victim down at Mercy. Get down their ASAP." He started to turn to go back into his office and then turned back. "And I don't mean in 30 minutes. I mean now."

"We're on our way." Elliot said. He gave Olivia a look. They both knew they were already on thin ice, and getting caught in such close proximity was not helping their case. They had to keep focused at work and make sure they didn't get carried away.

EOEOEOEOEO

They spent the next 9 hours dealing with their latest victim. Olivia and Elliot took an initial statement from her, and then Olivia stayed with her while she had her rape kit done. Elliot went out to the crime scene to see what they had found, and started canvassing the area for witnesses.

When he had wrapped things up, he looked at his watch and saw that it was almost 10. He hadn't been in touch with Olivia; he hadn't wanted to interrupt her when she was with the victim. He called Cragen to give him an update and found out that Olivia had brought the victim back to the precinct to take her statement and then had taken her home. Cragen had left the precinct shortly after, so he didn't know if she had come back.

Elliot hung up, and then dialed Olivia's number. She answered on the third ring. "Benson."

"Liv. It's me."

"I know."

"Are we going to go through this again?"

"Did you call to give me shit about how I answer the phone or is there actually a reason?"

"Where are you?" he asked.

"I'm at my desk, writing up my report. Are you coming back so we can add your intel and then decide what's next?"

"Can't we call it a night?"

"El. You know we can't do that. We have a rapist out there. We need to find him."

"Liv. There's nothing we're going to do tonight."

Olivia didn't say anything, and Elliot knew she wasn't going to give up. He groaned into the phone. "Fine. But I'm picking up something to eat because I haven't eaten all day and I'm willing to bet you haven't either."

"OK. But I don't want Chinese. I've had too much of that lately."

"What do you want?"

"I'm too tired to think about it. Just surprise me."

Elliot groaned. "OK but you can't complain if you don't like it." He hung up and headed out.

Olivia hung up the phone and looked at her watch. She figured Elliot was going to be at least an hour, and she had finished as much as she could on her report. She covered a yawn, and decided she would try to catch an hour of sleep in the cribs. She scribbled a note and left it on Elliot's desk so he would know where she was when he got there.

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot decided it would probably be good to go to a deli and get some sandwiches and a salad. He had to go a little out of his way to go to their favorite deli and he was surprised at how busy it was at this time of night. Damn city. Didn't anyone ever go home?

By the time he had gone to the deli and driven all the way back to the precinct, he saw it was almost 1130. He was a little ticked off. They weren't going to get anything done tonight…he should have just talked Olivia into going home. He didn't want to spend the next two hours doing paperwork.

He walked into the squad room and dropped dinner on his desk, noticing that Olivia wasn't at hers. He started to unpack the food, waiting for her to come back. After about 15 minutes, he went and knocked on the women's restroom door. Hearing no one, he poked his head in. "Liv?" No answer. He walked back to the squad room and looked in Cragen's office and the interrogation rooms, but she wasn't there either.

He walked to the cribs and opened the door slightly. It was dark, but with the light from the hallway, he could make out her form lying in one of the bunks. He shut the door quietly and let his eyes adjust to the darkness. Once he could see a little, he moved over to where she was lying. He crouched down next to the cot, and saw she was lying on her side facing him. Her breathing was slow and even, and he knew she was still asleep. He watched her for a moment, debating whether or not he should wake her to eat her dinner, but decided she probably needed the sleep more.

He covered his own yawn, and decided he might as well get a few winks himself. He wasn't going to start on the paperwork and he wasn't going to leave her here, so he toed off his shoes and lay down on the cot across from her. He moved onto his side and looked over at her until sleep overtook him and he was out.

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot was startled awake, and it took him a second to remember where he was. He looked up and saw Olivia leaning over him.

"Hey." She said quietly. "I didn't mean to wake you."

Elliot blinked his eyes a few times, still trying to wake up. He had been sleeping hard. "What time is it?" he asked.

"About 2."

"Why are you awake?" he asked. "I'm wiped."

"Yeah. I just had to use the bathroom and then I saw you sleeping here." She smiled. "I might not have been able to resist giving you a kiss. I really didn't mean to wake you."

"Sounds like it was worth it. But I don't remember it, so you'd better give me another one."

Olivia laughed quietly and leaned in to give him another light kiss on the lips.

"That was it? C'mon Benson, you can do better than that."

Olivia leaned over and gave him another kiss, this one a little bit harder.

"Really?" he growled lightly. "If you're going to kiss someone, then put something behind it." He reached up and pulled her down on the cot, quickly rolling her body next to his and rolling over on his side. Olivia let out a small sound of surprise, but then Elliot's face was over hers and he dropped his mouth on hers, opening her mouth with his and kissing her deeply. His right arm braced himself above her head, but his left hand quickly dropped down to her breast, massaging it through her clothes.

Olivia moaned lightly and then wrapped her arms around his neck, driving her tongue into his mouth and wedging one leg between his. Elliot's hand dropped down to the bottom of her shirt, gently massaging the skin at her waist before his hand traveled back up to her lace-clad breast. He broke the kiss, both of them breathing heavily, and placed open mouthed kisses down her neck, sucking and teasing the skin as he went.

"I've been thinking about this all day." He whispered thickly into her ear and she felt a rush of heat run through her. She still couldn't believe how quickly Elliot could get her aroused…the timbre of his voice alone was laden with sexual innuendo and she already felt it between her legs.

"Me too." She said. "I haven't stopped thinking about you since I imagined you in the bathtub with me last night."

Elliot pulled back and looked down at her. "Olivia Benson. Are you telling me that while I was stuck at home, you were making yourself come to thoughts of me in your bathtub?" Elliot felt himself getting incredibly hard at the thought of it, whether she confirmed it or not.

He dropped his mouth back down to hers before she could even answer, lifting his hand from her breast and flipping it, dragging his knuckles over her stomach. When he reached the waistband of her pants, he flattened his hand, and ran it down between her legs, cupping her over her pants. Olivia moaned and pushed up into his hand… she needed him to touch her.

"El. We're in the cribs." She whispered. "We can't."

"There's no one here. No one will know." He whispered as he trailed his tongue across her collarbone. "We can be quick."

She was quiet, and Elliot knew she was thinking about it. He pushed his fingers tightly against her, eliciting another moan from her and he knew she wasn't going to fight it. She wanted him as much as he wanted her.

"OK. But we have to be quick." She reached down and pulled the hem of her shirt up and over her head, practically knocking Elliot off the narrow bed. He laughed and caught himself. "This bed wasn't made for two." He climbed off the bed, lifting his shirt up and over his head. He quickly unbuckled his jeans and dropped them and his briefs together.

Olivia sat up and looked at him. He was a work of art. She reached out, running her hands across his stomach, feeling the hard muscle there. She ran her hands down his hips, trailing them down until she reached his cock. He was so hard and she trailed her fingers lightly down his shaft, causing it to twitch.

"Fuck." Elliot swore as she wrapped her hand around him and used her other hand to cup his balls. She started to run her hand up and down, coating him with the pre-cum from the tip. She licked her lips and started to move her mouth towards him and Elliot thought he might die from the thought of her mouth wrapped around him.

"Liv." He said huskily, placing a hand on her head. "No."

Olivia looked up at him, her brow furrowed. "That's the second time you stopped me. You don't like that?" she asked.

"God. That's not it. That's not it at all. The thought of you…" he shook his head. "Another time." He grabbed her shoulders and pulled her up, wrapping his arms around her and unhooking her bra. "You have too many clothes on" he murmured against her cheek. He reached down and undid her pants, dropping them to the floor.

He took a step back and Olivia ran her hands her over chest. She trailed them up to his shoulders and down his arms, resting on his biceps. "Your body is just amazing El. You tell me I'm beautiful but shit." She continued to squeeze his arms. "When you have these arms wrapped around me…I feel so…" she couldn't finish the sentence. She didn't know how to say it. She could feel his strength…his power…he was pure unadulterated male. And even though she didn't need anyone to take care of her, he still made her feel secure…safe.

As if to prove his point, Elliot stepped closer and wrapped his arms around her upper thighs, hoisting her body up on his. Olivia laughed and wrapped her long legs around him, dropping her mouth against his as she ran her fingers through his short hair. Elliot took a step towards the bunk, and bent over, laying her down on the bed. He stood back up and looked at her lying there. She was completely naked except for her underwear and Elliot got a big, wolfish grin on his face.

"You ready for me Detective?" he asked playfully as he leaned down and looped his fingers through the waistband of her panties.

Olivia smiled. "I'm not sure I'm in the mood." She said, laughing playfully as she rolled over on her side away from him.

Elliot slapped her lightly on the ass. "OK. That's fine. I wasn't interested anyway." He stood up and took a few steps back and Olivia rolled back over.

"Yes. I can see that." She tried to reach over and grab him but he backed away.

"Say pretty please." Elliot said, fisting his cock.

Olivia gave him a sultry look and bit her bottom lip. She hooked her fingers into her panties and pulled them down past her hips, kicking them off. "Pretty please El." She whispered in a husky voice and Elliot was done.

He climbed over her quickly, pushing her legs apart with his knees. He braced himself with one arm, and reached down between her legs. He felt the wetness there and ran his fingers down to her opening.

"It's OK. I'm ready for you." She whispered.

"I don't want to hurt you." He said.

"Never." She lifted her head up and gave him a kiss. "I want you." She said.

With that, Elliot lined himself at her entrance and drove into her, hearing a gasp from her as he filled her completely.

"Fuck." He hissed, feeling her clench around him. He crashed his mouth down against hers, driving his tongue into her mouth as she wrapped her arms around his neck and matched him. He stayed still, allowing her body to adjust to the sudden intrusion, until he couldn't take it any longer. He pulled out and thrust back into her, causing Olivia to break the kiss with a loud groan. She dropped her mouth to his shoulder, and he could feel her teeth against his skin as he continued to pound into her. The bed was squeaking beneath them as he continued the pace, Olivia meeting him with each thrust. She planted her feet on the bed and arched her hips upward, opening herself up to him even more.

"Oh God." Olivia moaned, her body starting to shudder. She didn't want to come yet…Elliot driving inside her felt so good and her body was on fire.

Elliot adjusted his arms, trying to keep the rhythm going but he could feel her like a vise around him and could feel the shudders wracking her body. "Let go Liv. Just let go."

"No." she moaned. "No." But it wasn't seconds later that she lost control and went over the edge, calling out his name as she shattered. Her release caused Elliot to quickly follow, and he pumped himself inside of her as she clenched around him.

"Jesus Liv." One arm buckled but he caught himself before he collapsed on top of her. He moved down on his elbows, peppering her face, neck and chest with kisses as she gasped to recover.

"Fuck." she finally said. "Just…fuck." She was breathing heavily as Elliot lifted his head to look at her. "I'm never going to get tired of that." She whispered.

Eliot laughed. "I hope not." He placed a kiss on her lips. "Me neither. I'm afraid you're stuck with me."

"As long as you keep doing that…I'm good." She teased.

"So you're telling me if I can't get it up anymore, you're kicking me to the curb? That's cold."

Olivia gave him a devilish look. "I don't see that happening any time soon. So you're stuck with me too."

"And I can live with that."

Olivia got a serious expression on her face. "We can't be messing around here at work. We're going to get caught."

"Mmmm." Elliot said, nuzzling her neck. He let his hand trail down between her legs, and she jolted at his touch on her sensitive skin. "I'm ready for Round 2."

Olivia grabbed his hand. "Did you just hear what I said?"

"Did you say you want to be on top this time?" He trailed his tongue down towards her breasts.

Olivia released his hand and pushed at his head as he latched on to one of her breasts. "Elliot. You're not listening to…" She let out a moan as he bit lightly on her sensitive nipple. "Fuck." She hissed, her back arching as his fingers ran through her folds. He slid two fingers inside her and Olivia's hips moved up to meet him.

"We can't be doing this." She moaned, her mind arguing against her traitorous body.

"OK." Said Elliot as he added a third finger, eliciting another loud moan from Olivia. She dropped her head back and arched her back as he continued to tease her breast and pump his fingers in and out of her. Her body was already in a heightened state of arousal and the way Elliot was twisting and driving inside her…

"Ohgod" she moaned as Elliot hit her clit with his thumb. Her body started trembling as he continued manipulating her body, pumping his fingers hard inside her while his thumb was relentless on her clit. Her body started to writhe, looking for escape from his hand as the pressure built inside her. Within seconds, her orgasm ripped through her and Elliot quickly covered her mouth with his as she let a sound rip from her throat. He didn't let up on her and she felt wave and wave crash through her until she thought she might possibly black out. She clamped her thighs together hard, trapping his hand, and he laughed against her mouth as he pulled his hand away from her.

"Fuck Elliot." She gasped.

"You're going to have to get more creative with your vocabulary." he murmured, placing small kisses on the edge of her mouth. "I've never heard you swear much but you seem to have a new favorite word."

"Asshole." She said.

"Is that any way to talk to the man that just made you come twice in less than 10 minutes?"

"Arrogant asshole?" she said, giving him a small smile.

"You're going to pay for that." His hand snaked up and cupped her breast. Olivia let out a small moan, her body in a super heightened state. "Tell me you love me." He said, massaging her breast and climbing over her, spreading her legs with his knees.

Olivia could feel the length of him pressed against her entrance. "God El..." she swallowed thickly as he started to penetrate her. She knew that as soon as he drove into her, she was going back over the edge and she shook in anticipation, her muscles clenching. Elliot pushed against her resistance.

"Tell me you love me." He whispered, biting lightly on her ear lobe.

"I love you." She whispered and she closed her eyes as she felt Elliot slide inside of her slowly.


	25. Chapter 25

Olivia woke up, trying to figure out where she was. She was roasting and she realized that she was cocooned against Elliot's body, her head resting against his chest. He had both arms wrapped around her and his face buried in the top of her head. Their legs were tangled and she realized that they were still intimately connected. His body was like a furnace, and after their last round of love-making, they'd been too exhausted to move and had simply fallen asleep as their bodies stayed intertwined. Then she remembered that they were still in the cribs and panic filled her.

She pushed against Elliot's chest, trying to push away from his body, but he murmured something in her hair, still fast asleep. She lifted her head up, forcing his up.

"Elliot." She said in a loud whisper, not wanting to rouse any attention if anyone was around. She had no idea how long they'd been lying there or what time it was. Her only comfort was that it was still pitch black outside. "Elliot!" She said, a little louder, poking him in the ribs. He startled awake.

"What?" he said incoherently, his voice groggy.

"Jesus El. We fell asleep!"

Elliot ran his hands down her back and cupped her ass, pulling her body against his. "Mmmm." He hummed, burying his face back in her hair. "I needed the rest. Damn woman." He joked, pushing his hips against her.

Olivia gasped slightly. She could feel he was getting hard inside of her and her body was already responding as he rocked gently inside her.

"No. No. No." she moaned. "This is serious. We can't. Someone could walk in her any minute. We're playing with fire." She said, trying to think about anything but what Elliot was doing with his body.

"We'll be quick." Elliot said, pulling back slightly before he rocked back into her, eliciting another small moan from Olivia.

Olivia's mind fought her body, but her body won out as Elliot ran his hands up her body, grasping her breast in his hand. "If we get caught, we're screwed." She whispered, a low moan escaping her as Elliot increased the pace slightly.

"You worry too much." He dropped his mouth to her neck, sucking and nipping lightly, moving his body over hers. He braced his hands by her shoulders and Olivia spread her legs wider, opening herself to him. "Oh." She gasped lightly as drove in deeper.

"Oh Liv." He moaned. He rocked into her gently, moving at a slow, languorous pace.

"Faster." Olivia moaned. This slow pace was driving her insane, the sensations coursing through her body causing her to writhe beneath him.

Elliot captured her mouth with his as he started to move faster. Olivia dug her nails into his lower back, her legs wrapped around the back of his thighs as she met him thrust for thrust. He felt her body shuddering beneath him and he increased the pace again, his breath coming in gasps as he plunged hard into her body.

Olivia started moaning loudly and Elliot quickly covered her mouth with his, capturing her groans and swear words. "Shhh." He hummed against her mouth. "C'mon babe." He rocked hard into her and he felt her walls clenching around him like a vise.

Olivia's body was on fire and she was so close. She wrenched her mouth from Elliot's, and arched her back, her orgasm ripping through her body as she felt Elliot's release inside her. She was gasping for breath as the fire tore through her body and Elliot gave her no relief, continuing to drive into her, knocking her clit again and again. "Fuck!" she yelled, wrapping her legs around his thighs and pulling him tight against her, trying to still him. Elliot's arms gave out, and he collapsed on top of her, knocking whatever remaining breath she had. He quickly shifted his weight slightly to the side.

"Jesus Liv." He groaned as her walls continued to clench around him.

Olivia didn't say anything, trying to catch her breath. Her body felt loose and she had no energy, completely spent by the sex they'd have over the past few hours. Elliot pulled out of her slowly and fell on his side next to her.

After a few minutes, Olivia had recovered slightly, her breathing slowed, and she remembered the situation they were in.

Olivia sat up on the cot, looking down at Elliot. "We fell asleep!" She moved around his body and stood up next to the bed. "This is exactly why we can't ever do this again. We could have been busted too easily." She started to scoop up clothing, tossing Elliot his jeans and his t-shirt. "I'm sure this whole room smells like sex." She shook her head, pulling her t-shirt over her head.

"Liv. Relax." Elliot looked at his watch and then reached for her arm. "It's only 3AM." He got out of bed and moved next to her. He rubbed his hand up and down her arm. "We're fine." He pulled her towards him again, wrapping his arms around her. "No one's here." He wiggled his eyebrows at her, pushing his hips against hers again. "In fact…"

"Are you kidding me right now?" She shook her head. "You have to listen to me. This…" she waved her arm around the cribs. "Can't happen again." She looked at him, but he only stood staring at her with a big smile on his face. "I'm going to get a quick shower, change, and get some sleep."

"But Liv." Elliot whined. "You're just going to leave me here?"

Olivia turned around and looked at him standing there. "Save some for later." She teased, wiggling her hips as she walked out of the room.

Elliot grumbled, grabbing his jeans and heading for the bathroom.

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia took a quick shower, thankful that she had a clean set of clothes in her locker. Sometimes she wasn't very good about making sure of that and she'd had to run home many times to change out of shirts or pants ruined by a suspect or a victim.

When she got back to the cribs, she could already hear Elliot snoring lightly. She watched him sleep for a minute, happy to see that the state she'd left him in hadn't affected his ability to sleep. She smiled, feeling the soreness between her legs and thinking about the past few hours. As much as known they shouldn't be having sex in the cribs, she admitted that she had certainly thought about it before. She could check that item off her list.

She crawled into the cot across from him and pulled the covers up, falling asleep in an instant.

EOEOEOEOEO

She felt someone shaking her and she opened her eyes slowly. It seemed like she'd only been sleeping for a few minutes, but she could see weak light was coming in through the window. She saw Fin standing over her and she opened her eyes completely.

"Liv." He said again, standing up. "Cap'n's looking for you." He said.

Olivia's eyes shot over to the cot across from hers, but Elliot wasn't there.

"Where's Elliot?" she asked, sitting up slowly.

Fin shook his head. "Don't know. That's what I was going to ask you." Fin continued to stare at her as she sat there, trying to wake up.

"What?" she asked. "Is something wrong?" She could tell he had something on his mind and she was worried that something horrible had happened and he didn't want to tell her. Her first thought was of her now missing partner and she felt a mild panic building. "Did something happen?"

"You tell me." Fin said.

"Fin, it's too damn early in the morning for games." She said, rubbing her hand over her face.

"Fine." He said, his tone short. "Do you know who these belong to?" He opened up his hand, and let a pair of white lace underwear dangle from his finger.

She knew she couldn't deny it when she saw him shake his head; he must have read it on her face. "Shit." She said, swiping at the panties and burying them in her lap.

"What the hell are you thinking?" Fin said, sitting down in the bunk across from her. Olivia cringed, thinking maybe they should have changed the sheets, and that Fin would probably die if he knew where he was sitting right now. Thank goodness Elliot had pulled up the blankets whenever he had gotten up.

"Liv!" Fin said again and she realized she had let her mind wander. "You and Elliot doing the nasty up here?"

Olivia' brow furrowed. "Fin!" She didn't want to talk about her sex life with Elliot…with anyone. And especially not with Fin or any of her other co-workers.

"I ain't blind." He said. "I knew it was only a matter of time, but you guys are smarter than this." He scowled at her. "So don't you lie to me baby girl."

Olivia groaned and buried her head in her hands. "I know." She whispered. "It just…"

"Happened." Fin said. "Well you better not let it happen again." Fin's tone sounded dark and looked up at him. He had no love for Elliot, and thought of her like a sister, so she knew how hard this was for him.

"I know. I told Elliot." She said.

"And let me guess. He didn't listen to you." Fin said, shaking his head again. "Asshole." He narrowed his eyes at her. "I know how he can get. Did he force you?"

Olivia stood up. "No! What are you thinking? No." she said, putting her hands on her hips. "He would never do that."

"I don't know. His patience level is zero and maybe he thought enough is enough."

"You can't honestly believe that." Olivia said, pursing her lips together. She knew Fin didn't approve of Elliot's methods sometimes, and that he thought he was controlled by his rage, but he had to know that he would never do that.

Fin let out a sigh. "No." He stood up and seemed to consider what he was going to say next. "Why him Liv? He's such an asshole." He reached his arm out and placed a hand on her shoulder, looking into her eyes. "You got guys falling all over you. You can do better."

Olivia cocked her head slightly, giving him a small smile. "I love him."

Fin sighed heavily. "Shit. I know it. "He shook his head again. "And that asshole loves you too." He dropped his arm. "But I'm telling you, if he ever does anything to hurt you, I'll take him out myself."

Olivia gave him a big smile. She wanted to hug him, but she knew he'd never let her. "I appreciate you looking out for me. You know that." She leaned in quickly and gave him a kiss on the cheek, before he even realized what was happening and could stop her. "You're not as tough as you pretend to be."

Fin stood up straight, and motioned towards her hand, where her panties were still bunched in her fist. "I'm going to keep your secret Liv. But you have to keep that shit out of the squad room." He turned towards the door and then looked back at her. "Oh, and tell Stabler what I said about taking him out."

Olivia nodded. "I'll be sure to tell him."

After Fin left, Olivia sunk down on the bed again. Of all the people to catch them, she was glad it was Fin. She knew he would keep it a secret. He wouldn't even tell Munch. She looked over at the cot Elliot had slept in, wondering where he had gone. She stood up and walked over, stuffing her panties in her jeans pocket. She pulled the sheets and blanket off the bed, and deposited them in the large laundry bin situated against the wall, and then headed to her locker to get cleaned up and start her day.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Olivia brushed her teeth and her hair, and touched up her make-up. She pulled her panties from her pocket and stuffed them in her bag with her other dirty clothes. When she walked back into the squad room, she saw that Elliot was just walking in with fresh coffee and a bakery bag.

"Good morning." She said, acting as if it was the first time she'd seen him, and she heard Fin grunt at his desk.

Elliot looked over at him, but Fin didn't engage, so he looked back at Olivia. "I stopped this morning and got coffee and some muffins." He said. "I wasn't sure if you'd had breakfast or not."

Olivia shook her head. "No. I haven't."

Elliot handed her the bag and she opened it up, seeing an assortment of muffins. He set her coffee down on her desk.

"John, Fin." Olivia said. "It looks like he brought enough for everyone."

"Well ain't that sweet." Fin said, his voice dripping with sarcasm.

Elliot looked over at Olivia and saw her shake her head slightly, so he blew off the comment as John rolled over in his chair and grabbed the bag from Olivia.

"I know it's usually ladies first, but since Liv wants to be one of the guys, and since I'm starving, I'm going first." John said, digging through the bag and picking out a blueberry muffin. "Thanks Elliot." He said, wheeling back to his desk.

Olivia picked up the bag and brought it over to Fin. "You get next choice." She said, giving him a small smile. She was letting him know that she appreciated him keeping his mouth shut.

As he dug through the bag, Cragen's door opened and he walked out. "Does someone want to tell me why I don't have my two top detectives in my office like I requested at least a half an hour ago?"

Elliot looked over at Olivia, his eyebrows raised. He hadn't even known Cragen had asked for them. By the look on Olivia's face, he was guessing she had forgotten.

"We're coming Cap'n." She snagged the bag of muffins and headed for the Captain's office, Elliot in her wake.


	26. Chapter 26

Elliot and Olivia looked over at each other as they walked into Cragen's office. Olivia hadn't had an opportunity to tell Elliot about Fin's discovery, but she knew there was no way Fin would have told the Captain.

"Shut the door." He said after they were inside. Olivia dropped the bag of muffins on his desk. Elliot closed the door and then turned to face him. "Sit down."

They both sat, watching him as he stood behind his desk, his focus on some papers lying there.

He sighed heavily. "You two are some of the best detectives I've seen in all my years on the force." He started, still not looking at them. "Maybe the absolute best."

Olivia shifted in her seat, wondering where this conversation was going.

"I've let you two get away with a lot over the years. And that's on me." He looked up at them. "But I made a mistake. Because now the two of you think you can do whatever the hell you want."

Olivia relaxed a bit, realizing Cragen was talking about the other day when he'd been upset that they hadn't left the squad room when he'd told them to. Still, she was surprised that he wanted to talk about that again. Maybe they were going to get some kind of note in their jacket about not following orders.

Elliot must have had the same thought, and he started to speak. "Cap'n."

Cragen interrupted him. "Do you think I'm an idiot?"

Elliot was surprised by the turn in the conversation. "What?"

"It's my job to know everything that's going on in my squad room." He continued, effectively ignoring Elliot. He looked over at Olivia, shaking his head. "And this squad room is not a motel."

Olivia felt her face flush and she quickly looked down at her hands clasped in her lap. Elliot looked over at her, seeing the deep blush on her face and he swallowed hard, horrified at her embarrassment.

"Cap'n." Elliot started, but really didn't know what to say. The first rule of interrogation was not to offer up information. He didn't know what Cragen knew, or if this was some fishing expedition. But Olivia's deep blush certainly armed the Captain with some reasonable confirmation of what he was accusing them of.

"Shut up." Cragen said, his voice notched up in volume. He looked back and forth between them. "I swear we were just in my office not too long ago and you two looked me in the face and told me there was nothing going on between the two of you. You lied to my face."

Elliot looked back over at Olivia, desperately needing some eye contact from her, but she was still focused on her hands. He looked back up at Cragen. "We didn't lie to you." He said.

"You're going to sit there and lie to me again? Do you want me to pull up the video footage?"

Olivia gasped slightly and her head shot up. "Video?" Elliot looked over at her and saw her visibly pale.

"You're in a goddamn police station! There are people here 24/7. There are security cameras everywhere! What the hell were you thinking?" He paused for a second, looking back down at his desk.

"Captain." Olivia started.

Cragen held up a hand, stopping her. "I don't even know what to say to the two of you except that I'm incredibly disappointed in you. I've stuck my neck out for you two dozens of times, and you lie to my face and do something like this that can't possibly be ignored. I don't even know how I'm going to handle this or what I should do. But I do know that I'm too angry to talk to you about it anymore." He looked up at them, and saw them staring at him, both of their mouths open slightly as if on the verge of saying something. "As of now, you're both suspended without pay. Three days."

The both shot a quick glance at each other. Three days wasn't bad considering. They looked back at Cragen and he could see relief on both of their faces.

Then the other shoe dropped. "During those three days, I have to figure out what to do with you two."

"What does that mean?" Olivia asked, slightly in shock from this entire conversation.

"It means that I don't know what the hell I'm going to do!" he snapped. "I should break you up and ship you both out! You should be suspended. IAB might get involved. I don't even know." He slumped down in his chair. He was as mad at himself as he was with them. He'd known this was the inevitable conclusion; that they were too close and that they got closer with each passing day. But he hadn't wanted to lose them, so he turned the other cheek. And now he was stuck with a mess that couldn't be swept under the rug. Without looking up at them, he motioned towards the door. "Dismissed."

Elliot and Olivia looked at each other and then back at Cragen. They wanted to say something…anything. They wanted to tell him that nothing physical had happened until recently. That they hadn't lied to him. They wanted to apologize for their indiscretion…their downright stupidity. But they knew the moment was past and that he didn't want to hear it. They both stood up and Olivia filed out behind Elliot after he opened the door.

"Shut it." Cragen called out after them and Elliot closed the door. They both let out a heavy sigh.

"What'd you two do now?" Munch joked with them. "I swear you two spend more time…"

"Shut up John." Elliot snapped.

Munch took one look at their faces and knew it was bad. For once, he shut his mouth and went back to looking at the files on his desk.

Olivia looked over at Fin, and saw the grim look on his face. She knew he hadn't said anything, but she could tell her knew what happened in Cragen's office.

Elliot snagged his keys off his desk as Olivia came around to her desk. "C'mon. Let's go." He said.

Olivia hesitated, trying to think about what she could said have said to Cragen. What she should have said. But the reality is, what she and Elliot had done was stupid. They had been reckless and they'd been caught and now they were going to be torn apart. She could feel pinpricks of tears forming and she swallowed hard, trying to calm herself. She had known that this was a possibility. That if she started a relationship with Elliot, they very likely couldn't be partners any more. She had just expected they'd have more time. More time to see if this was even going to work. More time to come to terms with the changes. More time to decide how they wanted to tell Cragen…on their terms.

"Give me a minute." She said. She headed towards the locker room. When she got there, she opened her locker, but then sat down hard on the bench.

In less than a minute, Elliot was standing behind her. He put his hands on her shoulders. "Liv."

Olivia shrugged his hands off her shoulders. "Don't touch me." She hissed. "That's how we got into this mess."

"So this is _my_ fault?" he asked.

"Yes." She said, standing up and grabbing her bag out of her locker.

Elliot grabbed her arm. "Hey. _You're_ the one that woke _me_ up." He said.

Olivia looked at his hand on her arm and he dropped it. "I told you we shouldn't. I knew it was a bad idea."

Elliot shook his head. "You're honestly going to stand there and tell me you had no part in this? Unbelievable."

Olivia glared at him. "It doesn't matter. We're both to blame. We knew better and now we're going to lose our jobs." She slammed her locker closed. "I can't believe this. There's going to be a scandal. There's _video_ for Christ's sake!" She tried to move around Elliot and head for the door, but Elliot moved in front of her.

"Calm down. There's no way Cragen's letting that video out. And we don't know what's going to happen. He's just mad right now, but he'll calm down." He ducked down, trying to get her to look at him without touching her again. "Let's not think the worse."

Olivia let out an exasperated sound, but she didn't try to get around him again.

"Let's just go someplace and talk. OK?" He asked.

Olivia let out another heavy sigh. "OK." She agreed. "We do need to talk."

Elliot wasn't sure if he liked the sound of that, but at least she was willing to go with him. He'd worry about the conversation later. They grabbed their things and headed out the door.

EOEOEOEOEO

They had decided to go to Olivia's apartment because she wanted to take a quick shower and get changed. They picked up some sandwiches for lunch on the way so they wouldn't have to go back out later.

Elliot lounged on the couch, surfing the TV channels until Olivia emerged. He looked over at her and felt a small twinge in his groin. Her hair was damp, curling around her face and neck. She didn't have any make-up and she was wearing a pair of jeans and a plain black t-shirt, both of which hugged her curves.

Olivia cleared her throat and he realized he'd been letting his eyes wander over her body just a little too long.

"I can't help myself." He said with a shrug. Now that he'd known her intimately; had seen the expression on her face and the sounds she made when she came, he'd never be able to look at her the same again.

"That's what got us into this mess." She said as she plopped down on the couch next to him.

"You're back to blaming me?" he asked, raising his eyebrow at her.

She leaned back against the couch. "No." she sighed. "Not really."

Elliot reached over and took her hand. "I don't know why you're so upset." He saw the look on her face as soon as he'd said it, and he backpedaled. "I mean, I know why you're upset. But Liv, we already knew that we had to tell Cragen pretty soon. That it was a real possibility that we wouldn't be able to be partners any longer."

"Elliot. There's video!" She pulled her hand from his and ran her hands back through her hair. "God, I can just see the headlines. City's top sex detectives caught in the act." She ran her hands over her face and then let them fall into her lap as she lay her head back on the couch. "What a fucking mess."

Elliot took a deep breath. "We don't even know if there's a video. Have you noticed camera's in the cribs? I don't think there are any. I can't remember but I think Cragen's just trying to scare us. Somehow he knows something happened and he's pissed. But he's going to cool off. He may split us up, but there's no way he's going to get rid of us. He won't put victims at risk because of this."

"But you don't know who else knows. He made it sound like there are witnesses. Maybe someone saw us or heard us." She turned to look at him, tucking one leg under the other. "And if there are witnesses or video, Cragen is going to have to get IAB involved. Then it's out of his hands."

"We can sit here and speculate all we want, but it won't do any good. For all we know, as of now, Cragen is the only one that knows."

"And Fin."

"What?"

"Fin knows." Olivia said.

"How the hell does Fin know?" he asked. "He wasn't even there when I left to get coffee in the morning."

"Well, apparently he came in and Cragen was looking for us, so he came upstairs to see if we were up there."

"Yeah so? You were just sleeping. What did you tell him?"

"I didn't _tell_ him anything Elliot." She snapped. "He found my underwear on the floor."

"You could have dropped them any time." Elliot said. "That doesn't mean anything."

"He's a detective Elliot." She said in a derisive tone. "You don't think he can put two and two together?"

Elliot put his hands up. "You're right. I'm sorry." He leaned back. "So…what did he say?" Elliot knew that Fin didn't like him very much, and he could only imagine what he would say when he found out they'd had sex.

"He said you're an asshole." Olivia said, and despite the seriousness of the situation, a small smile escaped.

"Is that the word he used?" Elliot actually imagined he'd say worse.

"Actually, it is."

"Hmm."

"He also said to tell you that he'd kick your ass if you did anything to hurt me."

"I'm sure he's not the only one." Elliot said, giving her a small smile back. He reached for her hand again. "We're going to be OK Liv."

Olivia sighed, moving her other hand over his. "It's just been a lot of change in the past few days." She moved a little closer to him. "I'm trying to adjust."

"Are you sorry things are changing?"

Olivia was quiet for a moment, and Elliot got a little worried about what she was going to say.

Olivia closed her eyes and thought back to everything that had happened over the past few days. There was a lot of great things that had happened, and some pretty horrible things. But like before, she couldn't find it in herself to regret any of it. She opened her eyes and moved a little closer to Elliot on the couch. "No." She shook her head. "There's been a lot of good and bad in the past few days. I'm sorry that Dick walked in on us. I'm sorry about how Kathy's hurting. And I'm sorry we were stupid enough to have sex in the cribs. But I'm not sorry that things are changing for us."

Elliot slid his hands up her arms and tugged her towards him, pulling her against him and wrapping his arms around her. He kissed the top of her head as she lay her head on his chest. "Me either."

Olivia pulled back slightly. "So. It seems we have some time on our hands. What do you want to do today?" she asked.

"I have a few ideas." He said, wiggling his eyebrows at her.

"I thought you might." She said.

 _Thanks for your continued reading and reviews!_


	27. Chapter 27

_Thanks for all of the people that have commented/reviewed this story. I'm having fun with it and I'm glad that people are still enjoying it. Thanks!_

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia pulled back. "You have a one track mind." She laughed, slapping him lightly on the chest.

"In my defense, I have a lot of years to make up for."

"This is serious El. We have a lot of things to talk about." Olivia pulled back. "We're sitting here on a 3-day suspension, and we have no idea what's going to happen."

"That's right. We don't know what's going to happen. We can sit here all day and speculate…or… we can do something fun."

Olivia's brows furrowed as she considered what he'd said. "Something fun?" She sat back on her heels. "Did you hear what I said? We're facing a three-day suspension. We have no idea what's going to come after that. At the very least, we're not going to be able to be partners anymore. At the very worst…" she paused. She didn't even know what the worst could be. She didn't even want to consider the options.

Elliot reached over and snagged her hands, tugging her back towards him. "We've been suspended Liv, not grounded. We don't have to stay put and agonize over what might be." He laughed at the horrified expression on her face. "Everything you said is true. We don't know what's going to happen." He had his hands on her upper arms, and pulled her forward some more, forcing her on to his lap. "And I know I should be as concerned as you are but you know what? I just decided to say fuck it. Because what's going to happen is what's going to happen. And if it means that I can come home to you every night…" He leaned in and gave her a quick kiss. "And if it means I can spend time with you like this, then they can send me back to being a traffic cop in Brooklyn."

Olivia laughed at the picture that made. "Oh yeah? We'll see what you have to say if that actually happens."

Elliot's face turned serious. "Olivia. I'm dead serious. I'd miss working with you every day, and I'd worry about someone else watching your six. But I'd be happy to give all of that up for a future with you."

Olivia let out a heavy sigh and her eyes teared up at the thought of the changes in store for them. She realized she didn't really want to have this conversation; didn't want to think about how their future was going to change. It would be easier to spend these three days in blissful ignorance. "You know what?" She looked up at his eyes. "You're right. Let's do something fun."

Elliot smiled. "That's my girl." He noticed the funny look Olivia gave him at the term, but he forged ahead. "And I have just the ticket."

Olivia raised an eyebrow at him, wondering what he had in mind, but thinking she probably had a pretty good idea. Her mouth curved into a small smile as she leaned in for a kiss, anticipating a lazy afternoon in bed. Instead, Elliot pushed her off his lap and stood up, turning to face her as she scrambled back into a sitting position after being unceremoniously dumped on the couch. "The Mets have an afternoon game today! It's still early enough. We can get there in plenty of time."

Olivia fell back on the couch and groaned. "Baseball? Really?"

Elliot got a serious expression on his face. "You don't like baseball? How can you not like baseball?"

"My mother was a college professor. We didn't exactly go to a lot of sporting events."

"Yeah, but all these years? All the guys you dated? No one taught you to love baseball?"

Olivia propped herself up her elbows and gave him a devilish smile. "No. The guys I dated weren't interested in _baseball_." She ran her right leg up her left shin and back down again, and pulled her bottom lip under her top teeth.

"Are you trying to seduce me to take my mind off going to the Mets game?" He said, his face still serious. "Because I have to tell you…if you don't like the Mets, that could be a deal breaker." He wanted to crack a smile when he saw the look on her face. He knew then that she was not used to being turned down…and he imagined no sane man ever would. But right then and there, despite what she was offering, he really wanted to take Olivia to the game. He felt this need to be out in public with her; hold her hand. He didn't have to hide his feelings anymore. He could have her by his side, wrap his arm around her, and kiss her if he wanted.

He walked over to the couch, and leaned over her, placing a hand on either side of her body. He bent down and gave her a deep, open mouthed kiss. Before Olivia could wrap her arms around him though, he broke the kiss and looked down in her eyes. "As much fun as that would be, I really want to take you to the game Liv. There's nothing better than playing hooky, sitting out in the bleachers on a sunny day, drinking a cold beer and watching the game. It's damn near perfect." He pulled back and let his eyes travel down the length of her body and back up again, his gaze returning to hers with a smirk. "Damn near." He kissed her again. "I'll make it up to you when we get home…" He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

Olivia placed her palms flat on his chest and pushed him back with a laugh. "Fine." Elliot moved back and she got up off the couch. "I guess I have to change." She motioned to her work clothes. "This isn't going to cut it."

"Yeah, it's going to be hot out there. I don't suppose you have a Met's t-shirt?" Elliot asked, a skeptical expression on his face.

Olivia cocked her head, giving him a tight lipped grin.

"OK. I'll buy you one when we get there." He gave her a light swat on the butt. "Go change so we can swing by my apartment and then we'll catch the train out to the stadium."

Olivia rolled her eyes and headed for the bedroom. When her back was to him, she smiled. Because despite the fact that she didn't really know much about baseball and wasn't all that excited to go to a game, she could see that _he_ was excited. And she loved the fact that they were going to do something that normal couples do every day. All her life she had watched others doing all kinds of day to day activities and she'd been jealous. Now it was her turn. She smiled, suddenly anxious to go to the game.

She pulled out a pair of jeans and a white t-shirt, but then re-thought that. It was supposed to be close to 90 degrees that day. She was going to roast in jeans. She looked up at some shorts that were piled on her closet shelf. She rarely wore shorts. She never had many places to wear anything besides her work clothes, jeans, or her workout clothes. She pulled down a pair of dark tan shorts and held them up, looking in the mirror. She knew she was going to be a lot cooler in them, but she felt self-conscious for some reason. She shook her head at her hesitancy, pulled off her jeans and slid the shorts over her hips. The fastened them and buckled the belt, looking at her reflection in the mirror. The shorts were long enough, ending a few inches above her knee, and they weren't too tight. She pulled the white t-shirt and stood back, considering her outfit once again.

"Liv?" Elliot knocked on the door. "What's taking so long?" She could hear the impatience in his voice.

"I'm almost ready." She said, reaching over to snag a pair of sandals. But Elliot was impatient and he let himself in. As she stood up and turned, she caught the expression on his face. Somewhere between desire and annoyance. "What?"

Elliot swallowed hard. "Maybe I made the wrong choice. There are other Mets games."

Olivia rolled her eyes in response. "The're just shorts Elliot."

"Have you seen your legs Liv?" He let out a heavy sigh as he walked towards her. "Every guy at the ballpark is going to have his eyes on you today." He gave her a kiss, resting his hands at her waist.

Olivia pulled back and tugged at her shorts. While she wasn't ashamed or self-conscious of her body, and she was no stranger to catcalls, wolf whistles or lingering stares, she never liked to purposefully draw attention to herself. But Elliot was being ridiculous. "Now you're going to dictate what I can wear?" she asked, a slight edge to her voice. She was partially joking, but also wanted to let him know that it wasn't going to fly with her

Elliot hesitated, knowing that he was being ridiculous. He'd been her partner for years. He'd seen any number of men checking her out, making comments, hitting on her…all in front of him. It drove him crazy but it wasn't his place to say anything. But now, things had changed.

Olivia saw the inner monologue on his face and she smiled. While she knew jealousy could turn really ugly, it was fun to watch Elliot try to control it. She put her arms around his waist and pulled his body close to hers. "El. Other guys can look, but you're the only one that gets to touch." She whispered. She bumped her hips against him. "Now let's go."

Elliot shook his head. "You're going to kill me." He laughed and followed her out of the bedroom.

EOEOEOEOEO

They had to take the subway down to Times Square to catch a train out to the field. They got off the train, and Elliot snagged Olivia's hand as they walked through the station at Times Square to the other platform. She looked over at him, seeing a big smile on his face. She slid her eyes appreciatively over the tight fit of the Met's t-shirt across his chest, and the muscles of his forearms. She loved how his long cargo shorts tightened at his waist and made his ass look fantastic. A pair of flip flops completed his 'outfit', and he looked so incredibly happy, that she was glad she had agreed to go. He looked back over at her and caught her smile, and tugged her closer to him, squeezing her hand slightly.

They reached the next platform just as the subway arrived and got on with a crush of fans going to the game. The seats were full, but Elliot found a space at the end of the train car and pulled Olivia around so her back was to the wall. He caged her body with his, holding on to the rail above with one hand while he braced one hand on the wall next to her head. The train doors closed, and as it started to pull out of the station, everyone jostled to get their footing. Olivia reached out for Elliot to steady herself and Elliot smiled.

"Looks like my plan worked." He laughed, raising one eyebrow and giving her a small smile. She dropped her hands immediately as she got her footing, but gave him a quick smile in return. They were relatively quiet on the ride out; neither one of them enamored of idle chit-chat. More people got on the train at each stop and Elliot found himself pushed a little closer to Olivia with each stop.

With her flat sandals on, he had a good four inches on her. So as his body was forced closer to hers, her face was level with his neck. She could feel the heat of his body and the smell of soap and a slight tinge of cologne, and she smiled when she realized he must have put some on when he changed. She looked slightly left and right and saw no one was watching them. She leaned into him slightly, his body only mere inches from being crushed up against her, and trailed her tongue along his jugular. He startled at the sensation, and then he let out a small laugh and looked down at her. He shook his head but that only spurred her on more. She started placing small open-mouthed kisses where the collar of his t-shirt met his skin and she heard Elliot stifle a small moan. She stole a look up at him, and saw he had his eyes closed. This was so unlike her. Public displays of affection were not her thing. But for some reason, they were throwing all norms out the window today and she was enjoying this small freedom. She ran her tongue along the path of her kisses, dipping her tongue where his breastbone dipped beneath his Adam's apple.

Elliot reacted quickly, dropping one hand to her shoulder and pushing her back against the wall and separating her lips from his neck. "Liv." He said huskily, leaning over and whispering in her ear. "If you think I won't take you on this crowded train, guess again. I'm feeling dangerous today."

Olivia felt a charge run through her body at his words. While she knew he'd never act on them, the timbre of his voice left her wondering what he _would_ do. She heard a small laugh, and opened her eyes, noting the guy standing next to her with a small smile on his face. Her cheeks flushed, realizing he had probably heard every word. She was embarrassed and chastised herself; this is why she didn't normally do this. But then Elliot leaned in again. "You're never going to see him again." He whispered. "Who gives a fuck what he thinks." He dropped his hands to her waist and kissed her. "He's just jealous." He whispered against her mouth before pulling his mouth from hers and placing a small kiss on her nose.

They heard the garbled announcement on the train, and knew they were almost at the field. When the train stopped, the entire car emptied out onto the platform and it was a mass of people in Mets jerseys. Luckily, Elliot knew where they were going. He grabbed Olivia's hand once again, and pulled her along behind him as they followed the crowd to the field.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

"You know." Olivia teased as they lounged in their seats, soaking up the sun. "I think I'm really a Yankees fan."

Elliot pulled his arm from around her shoulders. "We don't kid about that Benson." He joked. "If you keep that up, there's going to be consequences."

"I'm just saying." She took a sip of her beer. "I was raised in Manhattan. So if I'm going to start watching baseball, I should be a Yankees fan."

"That's it. I'm done with you." He stood up and moved one seat over, pretending to ignore her. Since the game was on in the middle of the week, the stadium was only 2/3rds full, so they had quite a few empty seats around them.

Olivia smiled. "OK." She said. She looked around. "I'm sure I can find someone else that's willing to buy me beer and a hot dog." She continued to scan the seats around them, settling on a good looking guy with dark, wavy hair in the section next to them. He was just one row behind them, but she'd seen him shoot a few glances her way before. She pointed him out. "Maybe him."

Elliot continued his act, pretending to ignore her. But thank goodness for peripheral vision. He saw Olivia stand up and stretch, doing it slowly on purpose. Her t-shirt rode up, as did her shorts, as she stretched her tall frame, hands over her head. "These seats are so uncomfortable." Then she bent over, acting as if she had to fix her sandal, and Elliot turned his head slightly, noticing that the guy she'd pointed out was getting an eyeful. He watched as his eyes trailed down her back and over her ass and down her legs.

Elliot scowled and quickly moved back over to his seat, pulling her down into hers. "Alright. Enough of that."

Olivia tipped her sunglasses up on top of her head and gave him an innocent look. "Enough of what?"

Elliot shook his head. "I've seen you flirt with perps or suspects to get information, but I've never seen you do _that_." He said with a small smile on his face. He looked back to see the guy still staring, watching the interchange between the two of them. _Probably trying to figure out his chances_. He wrapped his arm around her shoulders, making it clear that she was taken. Another glance and he could see the guy had looked away, his interest back on the game.

"I wasn't always a cop Elliot." Olivia said.

Elliot was distracted, making sure that guys' eyes stayed on the game. "What?" he said turning back to her.

Olivia smirked. "I said that I wasn't always a cop."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Elliot said, his brows furrowing slightly. He didn't know if he wanted to know more about a young Olivia Benson. That meant parties and drinking and boyfriends and sex…he wasn't prepared to hear about any of that.

Olivia saw the expression on his face and laughed. "I don't know what you're thinking about but I guarantee it's worse than what my life was really like."

Elliot raised both eyebrows and gave her a skeptical look. "Someone I doubt that's true. I think about a younger version of you, so beautiful…with newfound freedom and that body…somehow I think there are a lot of stories I'm not ready to hear." He shook his head. "Let's just drop it for now." He reached over, letting his other hand drop to her thigh, letting his fingers trail along her skin, causing goosebumps to erupt across the surface despite the heat of the day. "I'm having a great afternoon being here with you Liv."

Olivia gave him a huge smile, feeling truly happy. "I'm having a great time too Elliot." She kissed him, her hand resting on his shoulder. "And I've got some good news."

"Yeah?" he said, wondering what she'd been holding back.

"I've decided that I'm going to be a Met's fan."


	28. Chapter 28

The game had wound down; a rare win for the Mets this season. Everyone started filing out of the stadium, and Elliot had his arm securely wrapped around Olivia's waist.

He leaned over, whispering in her ear as they walked. "I've been looking at those goddamn legs all day and the only thing I can think of is that I want to get your home and have those legs wrapped around me while I'm…

"Stabler!"

They both heard someone calling his name and Olivia noted that immediately, Elliot dropped his arm from her waist. She shot him a look as they stopped, but Elliot had already turned towards the source of the sound. She heard his name again.

"Stabler!"

She saw two guys, both with Mets t-shirts on, moving towards them in a crooked line. It was very clear they had been drinking all afternoon.

"Mother fucking Elliot Stabler" one of them said as he reached Elliot, slapping one hand on his shoulder and stretching his arm out to shake Elliot's.

Elliot held out his hand, shaking the man's hand, a big grin on his face. "Mickey. How the hell are you man?" He looked over at the other guy, taking his outstretched hand as well. "Jimmy." He slapped him on his upper arm.

Olivia looked at the two men as they greeted Elliot. Both had heavy Brooklyn accents, dark hair, and muscular builds. They were shooting furtive looks over at her and it didn't take long after their initial meeting to turn their attention to her.

Mickey raised an eyebrow and shot a look at her and then back to Elliot. "Who the hell is this little honey?"

Olivia kept her face passive, even as she saw both of them clearly let their eyes wander up and down her body, lingering on her breasts before slowly moving back to her eyes. She gave them a small smile and then looked over at Elliot. She saw a small frown on his face as he watched them continue to stare at her.

"This is Olivia." He said, turning slightly back towards her. He grimaced inwardly. These were two of his oldest friends. They'd known he and Kathy forever, but he was almost 100% certain that no one knew that he and Kathy had called it quits. He looked at the faces of his two drunken friends. Lord only knows what they were thinking right now. But this was clearly not the time to have this conversation. He hesitated a moment while these thoughts raced through his head and decided not to elaborate on his introduction right now. He motioned towards each of the guys as he introduced them.

"Liv, these are two guys I grew up with. Mickey Boyle and Jimmy Collins. Been friends for a long time." Mickey and Jimmy had clearly been expecting more of an explanation, but at the mention of their long term friendship, they both got big smiles on their faces.

"Fucking long time." Said Jimmy, laughing.

Olivia stretched out her arm. "Olivia Benson." Jimmy gave her hand a quick squeeze. But Mickey wasn't having any of that. "Well, any friend of Elliot's is a friend of mine." He slurred, pulling her into a big hug. His hands were wrapped tightly around her as he kissed her on the cheek. She squirmed slightly at his hold on her, and then she saw Elliot's hand on his shoulder, pulling him away.

"Jesus Mickey. Quit mauling my partner." Elliot said, and Mickey laughed.

"Hey, I can't help myself. I see a beautiful woman and…" He shrugged his shoulders as he stepped back.

"So, your partner huh?" Jimmy said. "This the one we're always hearing about?"

Mickey slugged Elliot on the shoulder. "You lucky son of a bitch. You've been holding out on us. Your partner huh? I'd like to _partner_ with her." He shot a look over at Olivia.

Olivia pursed her lips, slightly insulted by what he was saying but staying quiet. She knew these guys were drunk, and she'd certainly heard worse. A lot worse. But there was something about guys and their friends…some kind of dick measuring she never understood. She expected Elliot to put them in their place.

"Knock it off Mick. It's not like that. She's my partner at _work_." He said, shooting a look over at Olivia. She stared at him. _What the hell?_ He'd just been telling her what he wanted to do to her when they got home and now he's acting like she's just a friend? Like it's all just business?

Mickey and Jimmy were too drunk to notice all of the non-verbal communication going on.

"Yeah right. We saw you with your hands all over her Stabler." Jimmy said.

"You're imagining things." He said.

Olivia's jaw clenched again, remembering the way Elliot's hands had dropped immediately when he'd heard his name. So much for being out together in public.

"Fine, keep her to yourself Stabler. I'd just be happy to watch." Mickey chimed in, his eyes trailing up and down her legs.

"Hey!" Elliot said, taking a step back towards the guys, partially blocking their view. "I told you it's not like that. Now have some respect."

"Aw, he didn't mean anything." Said Jimmy, slapping Mickey on the back.

"Yeah, don't get your underwear in a bunch Stabler. We're just saying…"

"I don't want to know what you were trying to say. Just knock it off." Elliot glanced over at Olivia, and saw her arms crossed and her expression cool. He was surprised she hadn't said anything to put these guys in their place. She must have figured she'd let him handle it because they were his friends.

Mickey put his arms around Elliot's shoulder. "C'mon man. We're headed to the bar. Let me buy you and your _friend_ a drink." There was a lot of insinuation in that one word. "We haven't seen you in a while." He looked over at Olivia. "And you, darling, can fill us in on what it's like to be Elliot's _partner._ " He laughed, and Olivia rolled her eyes, starting to get impatient with this idiotic discussion. Drunk people always thought they were so damn clever.

"I told you…" Elliot started, and Olivia turned to look at him. If she said he was just her partner one more time, she was going to lose it. But fortunately for Elliot, a drunken Jimmy interrupted him.

"Yeah. Come with us." Said Jimmy. "You're working all the time and we never get to see you."

"I don't know." Elliot said, glancing back at Olivia. She stared back, trying to keep the anger from bubbling to the surface. He'd stood there, denying their relationship to his friends, and now she could tell that he actually wanted to go have a beer with these guys. Well, there was no way she was going.

"You know what El?" She said, plastering a smile on her face. "You should go."

Elliot narrowed his eyes. He could usually tell what she was thinking, but right now, he was at a loss. Her voice was calm; her expression neutral.

"You're OK if we stop for one?" he asked.

Olivia shook her head. "No. Not we. You. You go. You know, it's been fun but I need to get home." She turned towards Mickey and Jimmy. "You know, take him out and have a good time. We don't have to be back at work for a couple of days, so he can be out as late as he wants tonight. In fact, he doesn't even need to be back in the city."

She turned to look at Elliot, and saw his jaw was tight. He'd heard her words, and now he knew she was upset with him. She'd basically told him not to bother coming back into the city. Which meant not to bother coming to her place tonight.

"See you later." She said, waving her hand dismissively as she headed back to the train station. She felt the pinpricks of tears in the back of her eyes and clenched her teeth together, trying to fight them. She was not going to cry.

Mickey and Jimmy, however, were completely oblivious once again. They were just happy to hear that their friend was going out drinking with them. Jimmy grabbed Elliot's shoulder and started to steer him in the opposite direction.

Elliot held up a hand as he saw Olivia walking away. "Give me a second." He said, shrugging Jimmy's hand off his shoulder.

"Liv." He called after her, but she kept walking.

He jogged a few steps to catch up with her, snagging her arm with his hand, effectively stopping her. "Stop."

She turned to look at him, her mouth set. "Take your hand off me or I'm going to knee you in the balls." She hissed.

Elliot dropped his hand quickly. "Liv. Don't go. Come with us." He gave her a small smile. "Ignore those guys and their rude comments. They're drunk. I want you to come along."

Olivia shook her head. Did he honestly think she was upset that he was going out for a drink with his friends instead of going home as they had planned? Men were such idiots sometimes.

"I'm going home." She said.

"OK. I'll come with you." He said, ready to turn to tell his friends he wasn't going with them.

"No." Olivia said, a little more harshly than even she intended.

"C'mon Liv. I want to." He said, giving her one of his patented Stabler grins.

"Yeah, but what you don't understand is that I don't want you to." She said coldly, turning away from him and heading towards the station.

Elliot stood rooted in place, staring after her. His head was spinning from how quickly things had changed from this morning. Hell, from just ten minutes ago. He knew his friends could be assholes but she'd certainly put up with her share of that over the course of her life.

"Liv." He called after her, but she didn't slow her pace; didn't look back. He stood there for another minute, contemplating whether or not he should follow her, until Mickey and Jimmy walked over. Jimmy put a hand on his shoulder. "She'll be fine. Let's go."

Elliot stayed rooted in place until Jimmy tugged at him again. "C'mon."

"Yeah." Said Mickey. "We want to hear all about your partner."

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia headed towards the train, annoyed by all of the people on the platform. She was going to get stuck waiting a while. There was no way all of these people were going to fit in the next few trains that passed through.

She tried not to think about Elliot; about what he'd said. _It's not like that_. Was he embarrassed about their relationship? _She's my partner_. Why didn't he want his friends to know they were dating? He had told her over and over again that they hadn't done anything wrong. So why did she feel like she was some kind of dirty secret? Her hurt started to morph into anger.

Well. _Fuck him_. She didn't need this from him. She didn't need him.

The train arrived at the platform, and she felt herself being jostled onto the train with everyone else. People were pressed together, unbelievably close and she found herself wishing Elliot was here to cage her in and protect her from the crush of people.

 _Fuck!_

She wanted to scream because how had she already made him part of her every thought? How was she already relying on him for every damn thing?

She was independent. She was tough. She could take care of herself. She didn't need him.

And he obviously didn't need her.

The train kept going, jostling her along with everyone else, and it didn't seem like anyone was getting off. She couldn't stop thinking about it; about him. And it was pissing her off. She just wanted to get off this train and get home. Crawl under the covers, bury her face in her pillows and scream.

She pictured him sitting in the bar, tossing back a few drinks with his friends and it made her even angrier. No way she was going to go home and wallow in pity. Screw that. She wanted a drink. Yeah. That's exactly what she wanted. Have a few drinks…maybe flirt with a few guys…forget about Elliot.

She felt a tear slip from her eye and brushed it away angrily.

Olivia Benson wasn't anyone's dirty secret.

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia held on to her anger all the way into the city. When the train finally stopped at the Times Square stop, she got off quickly. She stood on the platform for a minute while the crowd streamed around her, trying to decide where she wanted to go. She realized she was still wearing shorts and a t-shirt from this afternoon, and thought about going home to change, but didn't really want to take the time. She also decided she didn't want to go out anywhere near here…she needed to get back to some of the bars nearer to her apartment or nearer to the precinct. Places she was familiar with. She ultimately decided to go back closer to her apartment. There were a few small bars there, and that way she could be closer to home…just in case.

She walked over to the 1 train and caught it to 72nd Street station, exiting and walking a few blocks to a small joint she had discovered a few years ago. She was surprised that the place was fairly busy, considering it was about 6PM. Apparently lots of people with normal business hours stopped for a beer after work. She moved right to the bar and perched herself on a stool. She recognized the bartender from being here before, and tried to remember his name. _James? John?_

He walked over to her and gave her a big smile. "Hey." He said, obviously recognizing her.

Olivia say his nametag. "Hi Jon."

"What can I get for you?" he asked, setting down a glass of water in front of her. He set another glass down in the empty seat next to her but she waved him off. He raised an eyebrow. "You're here alone?" He asked.

"Yep. And I'll have a Guinness. And keep them coming." She said, slapping a $20 bill down on the bar.

Jon nodded, sending she was in a mood, and poured her a Guinness. He made a mental note to keep an eye on her tonight. He knew a single woman with her looks and her body wasn't going to be sitting here alone for long.

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot and his buddies didn't have to walk very far before they found a local bar. They clientele looked a little mixed, but his friends didn't seem to care. They were three brawny guys; they didn't really have to worry about much. But Elliot was immediately grateful that Olivia wasn't with them. He wouldn't have been able to stand the leers and comments from the characters situated around them. Most of the women in the bar looked like they came in early in the morning and never left until they skulked out with someone at closing.

Mickey ordered three beers and they leaned against the bar. Like most Irishmen, they thought they could hold their alcohol, but Elliot could tell how really drunk his friends were.

They were halfway into their beer when their discussion turned back to Olivia.

"So Elliot. C'mon man. Tell us the real story with that partner of yours." Jimmy said.

Mickey made a curvy silhouette with his hands. "She's got a body man. That's temptation right there." He slapped Elliot on the shoulder. "I know it's a sin man, but what a way to go."

Elliot gripped his beer hard. He knew these guys were just talking trash like they always did, but this was about Olivia…

"Knock it off." He said. He lifted his bottle, taking another swig of beer. He did not want to get into this with these guys.

"Oh, getting defensive. That must mean it's true." Jimmy leaned in. "She looks like a wild one. Tell us you're getting some of that."

"Yeah, it's just between us guys." Mickey joined in. "Kathy will never know."

"You guys are pigs." Elliot said. "You're my friends. You've known me how long? Do you really think I'd cheat on Kathy?"

"We saw you with your hands wrapped around her Stabler." Mickey said. "I mean, I'm not blaming you man." He held up his hands. 'I mean, you're only human." He laughed and Jimmy joined in.

"Kathy and I are over." He said suddenly. "We're getting a divorce." Mickey and Jimmy stopped laughing, setting their beers back on the bar.

"What?" Mickey asked. They'd both been with Elliot all the way through high school. They'd been in their wedding. Their families did things together over the years. It was by pure chance that they'd never met Olivia. "When did this happen?"

Elliot felt bad as he watched the expressions on his friends faces. This is not how he'd wanted to tell them, and he could see the pained looks on their faces. "It's been happening for a while." Elliot said, sighing. "We've just grown apart." He shrugged his shoulders. "It happens."

Mickey and Jimmy didn't say anything for a few minutes. They just drank in silence.

Finally, Mickey spoke up. "So. Olivia…."

Elliot knew what he was going to ask and he cut him off. "Listen. Olivia isn't the reason we're getting divorced. We've been partners and friends for a long time, but I never cheated on Kathy."

His friends both nodded, but Jimmy spoke up. "And now?"

Elliot took another drink. He didn't know how to answer that. He wanted to tell them that he loved her, but he just didn't know how that was going to sound when he'd just agreed to get a divorce a week ago. People wouldn't understand; and he realized that he'd made it sound so easy to Olivia. He figured once his family knew and Cragen knew, everything would click into place. And he knew he shouldn't care what they thought because he knew the truth. But how would all the talk affect Kathy and the kids? _Shit._ "You know what? I don't want to talk about this right now. I just want to have a few beers with my friends."

Mickey put his hand on his shoulder. "Yeah, we get it. Sorry man. Sorry about Kathy." He turned back and ordered another round for them.

Elliot thought about Olivia. He thought about what he'd told her, and then how he'd acted when Mickey and Jimmy had approached them. He was being an asshole. He understood now why she was upset, and he wondered what she was doing right now.

He stood up. "I have to use the can." He said. "I'll be right back." He stepped out the back door of the bar and dialed her number, looking at his watch. Chances are, she was still on the train, which meant she'd get no reception. Sure enough, he got her voicemail after just one ring.

"Liv. Listen. When the guys walked up, I just didn't think. I should have told them, but it's just complicated because I've know them for so long and the know Kathy and I wasn't thinking and… Shit. Just." He let out a groan. This wasn't coming out right. Just call me back when you get this OK?" He hung up, kicking at the gravel on the ground.

He walked back into the bar, hoping she would call him back, but knowing that she probably wouldn't.

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia was on her second beer when she felt someone slide on to the stool next to her. She turned slightly, checking him out in her peripheral vision. She ignored him, continuing to drink her beer. Her phone was on the bar, and she saw it vibrate with another incoming voicemail. She'd had two voicemails and three texts from Elliot by the time she'd gotten off the train, and she hadn't listened or read any of them. Just as soon as the phone stopped vibrating, her phone chimed with another incoming text message.

"Popular girl." She heard from the guy next to her. "But I can understand that."

She turned her head slightly, raising an eyebrow at the guy next to her. "Yeah? Well, it's not what you think." She said.

"So tell me how it is." He said, giving her a cocky smile.

She considered him for a moment, taking in his dark hair, olive skin and brown eyes. The exact opposite of Elliot. Perfect. "I don't really want to talk about it." She said, taking a drink of her beer.

"Ok." He said, sounding somewhat deflated and she realized that he thought she 'd just shot him down.

"Let's talk about something else." She offered, and she saw him smile.

He nodded. "OK." He said, smiling. "So what do you do for a living?"

Olivia shook her head. "Nope." Why was that always the first question? She wasn't trying to be difficult. But that was something that usually turned people off pretty quickly…and she wasn't in the mood. "You tell me what _you_ do." She said, seeing him visibly relax after what he saw as a second strike against him.

"I work at an advertising agency. Creative director."

Olivia visibly relaxed. Finally, someone not related to what she did every day. "That sounds really interesting. Tell me more about that." She said, shifting her body towards him slightly.

His face brightened, and she saw him glance down at her bare legs crossed in front of him. He ordered them another round of beers and Olivia could tell that he was probably thinking today was his lucky day. She smiled. Maybe it was.

 _Please leave a review. I appreciate it!_


	29. Chapter 29

_Hey everyone! Thanks for hanging in there with me. I know a lot of people got upset at my last chapter. Just remember that not every relationship is perfect and no one gets it right every time, but have faith in me as a writer. You know I'm EO all the way. Here we go._

EOEOEOEO

Elliot slammed the phone down on the bar. "Damn it." Olivia was the most frustrating person he knew. Why the hell wasn't she picking up? He knew she had to be home by now, and he knew she was getting the voicemails and text messages. "Damn stubborn woman."

He looked over and saw Mickey and Jimmy looking at him. He stared at the for a minute before he spoke. These were two good friends of his. They would understand.

"All right. I'm involved with Olivia." He said finally. "But it's not what you're thinking. We didn't start this until after…" he scrubbed his hands over his face. "I'm an idiot and now she's pissed off and she's not answering."

Mickey and Jimmy looked at other, drunkenly pleased with themselves that they'd been right. Mickey slapped him on the shoulder. "Hey man. We get it. Why don't you get the hell out of here and go find her?"

"Yeah." Jimmy chimed in. "Why are you sitting here with us ugly mutts when you could be with her?"

Elliot let out a sigh through pursed lips. "You're right. I need to get out of here." He stood up. "But we'll get together soon, OK?" He said, shaking each of their hands. "And take a cab home, will ya'?"

He left the bar and headed to the train station, dialing Olivia's number as he walked. When he got her voicemail again, he almost hung up. Then he realized he'd never said he was sorry. And while that wasn't his strong suit, he knew he owed her an apology tonight. "Hey Liv." He said softly. "I hope you're listening to my messages. I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry." He paused. "And you're probably falling over right now because you don't hear that from me very often. Probably not as often as you deserve. But…just. Well, I'm hoping you'll forgive me and I'm headed to your place. So I hope you'll..." The message cut off then and he was trying to decide if he should call again to finish it. But hopefully she got enough of the message to understand how sorry he was for how he'd handled things today and she'd let him in the door when he showed up at her apartment so he could apologize in person.

He only had to wait a few minutes for the train before he was headed into Manhattan. He looked at his watch, figuring it would be almost 830 by the time he got to her apartment. Plenty of time to talk things through and fix this between them.

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia's phone vibrated again, indicating a new voicemail. Her new friend, Andrew, looked over at her as she ignored it.

"Seems like someone is really trying to get a hold of you." He said. "That's like the fourth or fifth message you've received since I've been sitting here."

She shot him a look over her beer as she took another drink. "It's fine." She had found him interesting to talk to. She was happy to talk to someone that wasn't in the business, and she actually found his job somewhat interesting. He'd tried to probe a little more into her life, but she had successfully turned the conversation back to him each and every time. The only information he'd gleaned from her is that she was born and raised in Manhattan and no intention of ever leaving the city.

Olivia was on her fourth beer and was feeling a pleasant buzz. She wouldn't say she was drunk, but if she finished this beer, she might be. Andrew had settled in next to her, and his hand was currently resting on the bare skin of her upper thigh, gently massaging the skin there. She almost laughed out loud and how slowly he moved; he obviously wasn't very experienced in picking up women. She'd had perps that had copped more of a feel than this guy had.

Olivia looked around the bar as Andrew chatted idly next to her. Her eyes landed on a couple seated across the bar. Their bodies were close together and he was leaning in towards the woman slightly, clearly focused on every word she had to say. She could tell from their body language that they were in love, and watched as he reached up to move a stray hair from her forehead and tuck it behind her ear. Her breath hitched, and suddenly she felt tears welling up in her eyes. She turned to look at Andrew, who stopped talking when he saw her eyes brimming with tears.

"What's wrong?" he said, and she was certain he was thinking back through the past two hours, wondering where he had made a wrong move.

"I'm sorry." She whispered. "I made a mistake." She started to stand up, his hand falling from her thigh. She shook her head. "I'm sorry." She grabbed her phone from the bar and headed back towards the bathrooms, her breathing ragged as she tried not to cry.

She went out the back door and found herself in an alley. A few people were standing around smoking, and they went back to their conversation as she moved away from them, leaning up against the wall.

"What the hell am I doing?" she whispered to herself. She was angry with Elliot and she felt she had every right to be. And she didn't know what was going to happen, but she knew one thing. She wasn't a cheater. She never cheated with Elliot while he was married, and she wasn't going to cheat on him now while things were unresolved between them. They hadn't been in a relationship very long. Hell, she didn't even know if she could call it a relationship. But whatever it was, he didn't deserve that. And she knew that leaving the bar with someone else tonight would do just as much damage to her as it would to him.

She pulled out her phone, looking through her contacts until she found the right number. They picked up on the second ring.

"Casey?" Olivia said, her voice breaking.

"Liv? God, what's wrong?" Casey said, panic in her voice. Olivia Benson did not cry; did not break down. But she could hear the distress in her voice.

"Can you…" Olivia hesitated. She knew that Casey didn't know about she and Elliot but she needed someone to talk to and Casey was one of the few people she could consider a girlfriend. "I just need to talk to someone. Can you meet me?"

"What's wrong? Where are you?" Casey could tell her friend was drunk, or damn close. "I'll pick you up."

Olivia rattled off the name of the bar and the address, too emotionally and mentally exhausted to argue with her.

"Liv. I'll be there in ten minutes. Don't leave, OK? Wait inside the bar." Casey knew Olivia was one of the toughest cops she knew, but this woman on the line with her didn't sound like the Olivia Benson she knew and as she flew out of her apartment to catch a cab, she wondered what on Earth could have possibly happened.

EEOEOEOEO

Elliot got off the train in Times Square, annoyed by all of the tourists clogging up the streets. This is the main reason he never came down here if he could avoid it. He decided to walk over a few blocks to hail a cab to Olivia's. As soon as he got there, he let himself in and walked up to her apartment on the fourth floor. He knocked on the door.

"Olivia!" He knocked again. "Let me in."

He was met with silence and he cursed her stubborn nature. He knocked again, a little more forcefully this time.

"I can be just as stubborn as you." He yelled, knocking again.

More silence.

"Olivia Benson! Open the door." He pounded a little harder. He heard a door open down the hall and he turned to see an older man standing in the doorway watching him.

"I don't think she's home." He said. "Do I need to call the cops?" he asked.

Elliot fished his badge out of his pocket. "I am the cops."

"Well." He looked confused as to what to do. "I still don't think she's home."

Elliot made an exasperated face. "Thanks." He turned back to her door, knocking again. "If you don't let me in, I'm going to use my key." He knew he was overstepping boundaries here. She would kill him for using his key. He might very well open the door and find her with her gun trained on him, ready to shoot. But desperate times…he didn't want to let this go until tomorrow.

He pulled out his key and put it in the lock. "I'm coming in." he warned, turning the key and pushing the door open. He saw immediately that the apartment was dark. _Well. Damn_. Maybe she really wasn't home. He took a step inside, looking towards her bedroom. He knew she couldn't be sleeping. Even if she had been, his pounding would have woken her up. He flipped on a light. "Liv?" he called out. He walked towards her bedroom door, just in case she was hiding out. But when he pushed open the door, he could see she wasn't there. He sat down on the edge of the bed, puzzled. Where the hell could she have gone?

He sat for a minute, trying to figure it out, when a new thought wormed itself into his brain. _What if something had happened to her?_ She wasn't armed; hell, she was barely dressed. And he'd let her go off by herself. And while he knew Olivia was more than capable…she'd been upset when she left. She wouldn't have been paying attention like she normally would. And now she wasn't answering her phone. He tried to not let his mind go there. He'd seen Olivia take down suspects twice her size; she knew self-defense. She was fine.

He kept repeating that to himself. _She's fine. She's fine_.

He wracked his brain, trying to think of where she might go. The shooting range. She always liked going there to take her mind of things. It's why she was a better shot than him. She was probably there with Probably his face up on the target. He opened her nightstand drawer and saw her gun still in its rightful place. So not the shooting range.

The gym. Maybe she needed to work off some of her frustration. He looked around. If she had gone to the gym, she most certainly would have had to come home to change and get her gym bag. He opened her closet door, and saw her gym bag sitting on the floor, its contents spilling out. OK, not the gym.

He scrubbed his face over his hands and walked over to the window, looking out on the evening as the sun was setting on the city. _Olivia, where are you_?

EOEOEOEOEO

Casey told the taxi driver to wait, and as she exited the cab, she saw Olivia standing by the doorway, leaning against the outside wall of the bar. Casey rushed up to her friend and put a hand on her shoulder. "Are you OK?" she asked.

Olivia nodded. "Can we get out of here?"

"Sure. Where do you want to go?"

"Maybe just a coffee shop. Or someplace we can grab a bite. I haven't eaten."

"Sure." They walked over to the taxi and got in. Casey gave the cabbie the name and address of a place nearby that she thought might be relatively quiet. They arrived just a few minutes later, and got settled at a table with steaming cups of coffee and some menus.

Casey didn't say anything. She waited for Olivia to start the conversation. She watched as Olivia drank her coffee, obviously trying to sort out what she was going to say. Finally, in typical Casey fashion, she couldn't take it anymore.

"OK Benson. Tell me what's going on."

"I don't even know where to begin." Olivia said.

"I've got all night. Start at the beginning." Casey said, giving her a quick smile.

The beginning. What exactly had been the beginning for she and Elliot? The moment she walked in the squad room so many years ago? Or just recently? Probably somewhere in between.

"Olivia." Casey said, clearly getting impatient."

"I slept with Elliot." Olivia blurted out. She saw the shocked expression on Casey's face; clearly she hadn't been prepared for that, regardless of how much crap she'd given Olivia over the years.

"You what?" Casey exclaimed. She shouldn't have been surprised, and yet she was. Elliot was married; and she'd never pegged him for a cheater. And she knew Olivia never wanted to be the other woman. She looked over at Olivia, and saw tears brimming on her lower lashes. She reached over and put her hand over Olivia's on the table. "Liv." She said softly. "Start at the beginning and tell me what happened."

Olivia took a minute to compose herself, taking a few sips of her coffee. The waitress came over and took their order in the interim, and that gave Olivia squelch the tears that continued to threaten her lashes.

"I don't even know where to begin Casey." She looked up at her friend and sighed. "You know that things have always been complicated between me and Elliot."

Casey rolled her eyes. "That's an understatement."

"Casey…"

"OK. Sorry. I won't interrupt." She said, settling back in her seat.

Olivia started again. "You know we've always been close…" she shifted in her seat, trying to get comfortable. She wasn't used to spilling he guts to her friends…but she really needed to get this off her chest and talk to someone. "When Elliot and Kathy got separated, I guess there was a part of me that thought that maybe something would happen between us. I wasn't going to be the one to make the first move, so I kind of waited. But he didn't. He didn't do anything, so I thought maybe I'd read him wrong. That maybe he didn't have some feelings for me like I thought he did."

Casey started to say something about the two of them being in denial, but shut her mouth.

Olivia shot her a look, knowing it was hard for her to keep quiet, but appreciating the fact that she was. She continued. "So I decided that it wasn't going to happen and that I had to move on. I mean, it wasn't really a conscious decision, but then someone asked me out and I went."

"Adam." Said Casey, remembering the conversation at the gym.

Olivia nodded. "Yeah. Adam."

"And?" Casey prompted her. "Let me guess. Elliot didn't like the fact that you were dating the doctor and made a scene and Adam broke it off." She'd been around Elliot and Olivia long enough to know Elliot's overprotective nature."

"Actually, I broke it off with Adam." She took a deep breath. "And then I told Elliot how I felt." She thinks back to that now, hardly believing she had the courage to tell him. She looked up at Casey and saw a slight look of shock on her face. "What?"

"I just…I can't believe you told him. I always expected he would be the one."

Olivia shook her head. "I can't believe it either."

Olivia spent the next half hour filling Casey in on the next week, including getting caught by Dickie, her talk with Kathy, being caught in the precinct, and their suspension, finally getting to their decision to go to the Mets game today. By the time she was done, she was exhausted, and their food had come. Surprisingly, Casey had been quiet throughout her entire dialogue. Olivia leaned back in her seat and looked at Casey expectantly.

"So, aren't you going to say anything?"

"Jesus Liv. I don't even know what to say." Casey said, shaking her head. "You've had more drama in this short relationship than I've had in my entire adult life." She sat back in her seat again. "Shit." She looked back at her friend. "But wait a minute. So what happened at the Mets game and why were you at the bar?"

Olivia pushed her food around on her plate, her appetite gone. "We had a great time at the game. For the first time, I felt like this could work. We could be a normal couple. Do things that regular people do." She swallowed hard. "We were leaving the game and we were talking about what we were going to do when we got home."

"I don't want to hear about it." Casey said. "Well, actually I do. But later."

"We ran into some old friends of Elliot's. Some guys he's been friends with since he was in grade school." She clenched her jaw. "He dropped his hands from my waist so quickly it would make your head spin. And then he introduced me as his partner."

"You are his partner." Casey pointed out.

Olivia cocked her head.

"Sorry." Said Casey, understanding how upset Olivia was. It wasn't the time for jokes.

"They started to give him shit about me and rather than tell them we were together, he flat out denied it. Multiple times. He felt guilty. I could tell. Like he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't." She felt tears prick at her eyes again, and she bit down on the inside of her cheek, trying to stop it. "I mean; he was the one that kept telling me we could make this work when I had doubts. But it was like he suddenly realized that everyone would think we'd been sleeping together all along; that he cheated on his wife. Even though we talked about it.

"Liv. I don't think that's what he thought." Casey said.

"You weren't there." Olivia said pointedly.

"Liv, he and Kathy just agreed to get a divorce. I doubt they've had a chance to tell everyone. Don't you think that maybe it just wasn't the right time or place to have that discussion?"

Olivia considered what Casey said and thought back to what happened at the game. She bit her bottom lip.

"Liv. Elliot's crazy about you. And you both know you didn't do anything wrong. And more importantly, Kathy knows it too."

"I don't know Case. I mean, is this going to happen every time we run into someone from his previous life?" She makes air quotes as she says it. "Is there always going to be snickers and stares? Are people going to believe us when we say we never cheated?" I don't want to sneak around. I wanted to have a real relationship with Elliot. I mean, if we're going to break up our partnership, it had better be for something."

"You just have to give it some time Liv. There are a lot of people that don't know yet, including most of the squad. You have to give everyone time to adjust to this new reality."

"He knew how hurt I was…and he want off with his friends." Olivia said, not quite ready to relinquish the anger she was feeling.

"What would you have done if he followed you?" Casey said, already knowing the answer to the question. "You would've run him off. Told him to go fuck himself."

"Am I that horrible?" Olivia asked.

Casey shook her head. "You were just hurt Liv. And when you're hurt, you come out swinging. Elliot knows you, maybe better than you know yourself. That's why he let you go."

Olivia didn't say anything, hating that Casey was probably right.

"But wait a minute." Casey said. "I would have thought you'd go home and stew about this all night. Why were you at the bar?"

Olivia dropped her face into her hands, her elbows propped on the table. "Oh God."

Casey grabbed one of Olivia's hands, pulling it from her face. "What did you do?"

Olivia looked up at her friend. "I was mad. I was hurt. He wanted to pretend like there was nothing between us, well I was going to show him that I didn't need him either. That there were plenty of other fish in the sea."

Casey gasped lightly. This didn't sound like the Olivia she knew. "What did you do?" she whispered.

"Nothing!" Olivia said quickly.

"Liv…be straight with me. Were you actually going to go to the bar and take someone home with you? Just to hurt Elliot?" Her face was serious as she waited for her friend to answer.

Olivia shook her head. "No!" She swallowed hard. "I don't know Case." She paused, looking down at her hands clasped together on the table. "Maybe." She admitted. "I didn't really plan anything. I just knew that he'd hurt me and I wanted to hurt him." She looked back up at Casey. "I was talking to a guy. Flirting a little. But I realized I couldn't do it. That I didn't want to do it. I can't hurt him that way. I could never do that to him." She scrubbed her hands across her face and through her hair. "God, I love him so much Casey. And I was sitting there thinking _What the hell am I doing?_ I got out of there right away and I called you." She dropped her head back into her hands. "This is so fucked up. I suck at relationships. I overreacted and I almost made a stupid, juvenile mistake that would have cost me everything."

"But you didn't." Casey said. "You didn't."

Olivia looked up at her friend, so thankful to have her there. "I really appreciate you coming to pick me up and for letting me dump all of this on you. I know it's a lot."

"That's what I'm here for." She settled back in her seat again. "Do you want to know what I think?" she asked, not sure if Olivia was ready to hear what she had to say, but wanting her to hear it anyway.

"Sure." Said Olivia hesitantly. With Casey, you never knew what you were going to get.

"I think that this thing with Elliot and you has been growing over time…but I don't think you should ever feel like you broke up his marriage. If he was committed to making it work, he would have found a way. He could have left the precinct, found another job…whatever. I'm happy that one of you finally had the balls to tell the other one how you felt. Sometimes I just wanted to yell at you two to get your shit together and sleep together already. And I'm not the only one." She smiled, and got a small smile from Olivia. "I also think the man is stupid in love with you, but he's a man, so he's going to fuck things up. And you, are crazy in love with him too. And being who you are, are going to fuck things up as well. You're both so damn stubborn, and the worst communicators I've ever seen. At least when it comes to each other. So I think, as long as you realize that…you're going to be just fine. The hard part…telling each other how you feel…is over."

Now the tears did spill over Olivia's lower lashes. She was right. Casey was absolutely right. They'd been through so much together. Over the past seven years…but more so in just the past few days.

"So, where's Elliot now?" Casey asked.

"I don't know." She said.

"I bet he's called about a million times." Casey said, laughing and Olivia nodded. "Man's probably going out of his mind."

Olivia sighed. "Probably."

"Maybe you should call him."

"I'm just so exhausted Casey. Emotionally. Mentally. I can't talk thought this with him tonight."

As if on cue, Casey's phone rang. She glanced at the caller ID. "Looks like the man's getting desperate to find you." She said. "What should I tell him?"

Olivia hesitated for a second. "Will you just tell him that I'm fine? That we're fine. But I'll talk to him tomorrow?" She knew if she talked to him, he'd talk her into meeting with him. And she just wasn't up to it, no matter how much she wanted to get things resolved. There was a lot to talk about.

Casey answered the phone. "Novak." She listened for a moment, and Olivia could hear Elliot's voice on the other end, but she couldn't hear what he was saying. "She's here with me Elliot and she's fine." There was another pause. "Yeah, she told me everything." She nodded her head. "She's headed home pretty soon, but she's really tired and she wants to know if it's OK if you two just talk tomorrow. She said to tell you that everything is OK." Her eyes flicked up to Olivia's. "Yeah." Another pause. "OK. Talk to you later Stabler." Casey hung up the phone.

"What did he say?" Olivia asked. "Is he upset?"

"Well, apparently he went to your apartment and he's been a little worried, wondering where you've been. Just how many messages did the man leave?"

"A lot." Olivia confessed. "Did he seem upset? Did he say we could talk tomorrow?"

"He's not upset. He was just worried. And yeah, he said he could talk tomorrow, but he wasn't happy about waiting until then to see you." She paused. "Oh, and he said to tell you that he loves you." Casey rolled her eyes. "This is like a bad game of telephone. Let's get you home." She started to get up, happy to see some relief on her friend's face. "I have to tell you Liv. If you and Elliot are going to keep this thing going, I have a feeling I'm going to be a sounding board for a lot of shit. And if that's going to happen, I at least get to hear about the good parts too." They walked out of the restaurant. "So tell me, is that man as good in bed as I imagine he would be?"

Olivia rolled her eyes, surprised it had taken Casey this long to ask her. "I'm not up for this conversation tonight Casey."

"OK, I'll let you off the hook because you've had shit day but one of these days. You owe me."

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia was truly exhausted, even though it wasn't even 11PM. This day had been an emotional roller coaster, and she knew that a large part of it was her fault. She dropped her shorts on the floor and peeled off her bra, leaving her t-shirt and her underwear on. She crawled into bed and pulled the covers up around her, drifting off to sleep almost immediately.

She awoke when a sound startled her, but she wasn't alarmed. She knew it was Elliot. There was a part of her that knew he wouldn't be able to stay away. She made a mental reminder to talk to him about the purpose of giving him a key to her apartment. It wasn't so he could let himself in whenever he wanted. But right now, she couldn't find it in herself to be upset.

"Liv. It's me." He whispered from her doorway. "Are you awake?"

"I am now." She answered softly.

"I know you told me you didn't want to see me." He said, taking a few steps towards the bed. "But I…"

Olivia pulled back the covers and moved over to the middle of the bed, still lying on her side with her back towards him. "Come here." She said, reaching behind her and patting the open space on the bed. She heard Elliot drop his jeans on the floor, and felt the bed bow under his weight as he crawled in. He didn't move; he didn't touch her. She reached back again, and grabbed his arm, pulling him up against her back.

"Liv. I'm so sorry." He said, his breath warm on the back of her neck as he laid his arm lightly against her waist.

"Shhh." Olivia said.

"But..."

"Elliot. Please. I just want to sleep. We can talk tomorrow."

She felt him breathe a heavy sigh of relief. He tightened his arm around her, moving closer and molding his body to hers. He kissed her hair. "Good night Liv."

But she was already sleeping.

 _Please let me know what you're thinking!_


	30. Chapter 30

Olivia woke up early, and felt Elliot's arms still wrapped around her. She lay still, listening to his breathing, feeling his body against hers. Her mind wandered back to the day before. She replayed everything that had happened, and realized that while Elliot hadn't handled things well, she had probably overreacted. If she hadn't let herself get to angry…if she hadn't stormed off…the rest of the night wouldn't have happened. She pursed her lips together. She was making it sound like it was all Elliot's fault, when it was completely hers. She closed her eyes again, replaying the scene in the bar. She'd knows now she wouldn't have left with Andrew. But she also knows she owes it to Elliot to be honest with him. To tell him everything that happened.

"I can hear you thinking Olivia." Elliot mumbled and Olivia jumped at the sound of his voice. She'd been certain he was still sleeping. "It's early." He shifted against her slightly. "Go back to sleep."

Olivia didn't say anything. She snuggled into his body, wondering if this was going to be the last time she'd be able to do so after she told him what she'd done.

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia woke up to see the sun steaming into the room. The bed felt empty, and one quick glance told her that Elliot wasn't in bed any longer. She listened, but didn't hear the bathroom; didn't hear the shower running. She rolled over and snagged her phone off the nightstand, surprised to see it was almost 10AM. She sat up and stretched. She couldn't remember the last time she slept this late.

She got out of bed and headed into the bathroom. She looked in the mirror, noting her eyes were slightly puffy from crying the night before. She splashed cold water on her face and brushed her teeth. She ran her fingers through her hair and pulled it into a loose ponytail. She padded back into the bedroom and grabbed a pair of sweatpants, pulling them up over her hips as she walked into the living room.

"Good morning sleepy head." Elliot said. She saw him sitting in the chair with the paper in his hands, and a mug of coffee sitting on the table next to him.

"Morning." Olivia said. She noticed his expression was neutral and she wondered what he was thinking. He was probably wondering if she was still upset with him, despite letting him crawl in bed with her last night.

She sat down couch, in the corner farthest from Elliot, and turned to face him. She pulled her legs up in front of her and wrapped her arms around her legs.

"Do you want some coffee?" he asked.

"I can get it." She said, starting to get up. But Elliot held up his hand.

"I got it." He stood up and walked into the kitchen, returning a minute later with another mug and a bakery bag. He handed her both.

"What's in here?" she asked.

"Blueberry muffin." He said, giving her a small smile. "I snuck out this morning while you were still sleeping."

Olivia nodded. "Thanks."

"Well, I'm trying to buy your forgiveness."

"El…"

Elliot sat down next to her on the couch. "Liv. I don't know if you listened to any of my messages I left yesterday but I want you to know that I understand why you were so upset with me. I handled that thing with Mickey and Jimmy badly."

Olivia reached over and put one hand over Elliot's. "Let's not do this."

"We said we were going to talk about this."

Olivia let out a sigh and sat back, taking a large sip of coffee. She wasn't angry with him anymore, and she just wanted to forget the whole thing.

"I should have told them. But I just kind of panicked." He looked down at his hands braced on his thighs. "I didn't really think about the fact that there are all these people out there that know me and Kathy. Our family. And we haven't exactly sent out a memo or anything about the divorce." He looked back at her. "I don't even know who knows what's going on."

"They thought we were having an affair." Olivia said quietly.

"That's why I told them nothing was going on!" Elliot said. "It just…it happened so fast. And the way they were looking at you. And they were drunk. And I just wasn't thinking. I wanted them to just go."

"You were worried that they would go tell everyone that you were sleeping with your partner."

"No. That's not what I was thinking." Elliot said.

Olivia stared at him. "What happened to complete honesty?" she asked.

"OK. You're partially right. I panicked when I heard someone calling my name. It's so ingrained in me to step away from you. To never be too close. There were always so many accusations and rumors about us. I never want anyone to think that about you." He reached out and set a hand on her knee. "Never." He pulled his hand back when she didn't respond. "And I didn't want to get into it with them. They were drunk. They were being rude to you. I just wanted…" He shook his head and turned back towards her, pulling one of his legs up on the couch and turning to face her. "It doesn't matter. I'm sorry Liv."

Olivia sat and started at him, a range of emotions crossing her features. She took a deep breath.

"I was hurt Elliot."

"I know."

"We were having this great day and I felt like finally we could be a normal couple. Kathy knows. Your kids know. Cragen knows. We don't have to hide our feelings for each other anymore. It was like I could finally let go and be happy." She shook her head. "And then, the very first time we're together…as soon as we run into someone you know, you step away and deny the whole thing."

"I can't undo it Liv. But I won't do it again."

"I was so angry with you." Olivia said, her voice almost a whisper, staring into his eyes.

"I know. I should have followed you, but I thought maybe you needed some space. That was stupid. We should have talked about it right away. I went with those guys but I couldn't stop thinking about you." He put a hand on her knee again. "I'm glad you went and talked to Casey."

Olivia looked down quickly, avoiding eye contact as the guilt seeped in.

Elliot sensed the shift. "Casey said you were with her when I called. Weren't you?"

"Yes. I was." She confirmed. "But we didn't meet up until later."

Elliot thought about his trip to her apartment. She hadn't been home. So where had she been? His mind went back to all of the thoughts he'd had the night before. He didn't know why he had this irrational fear that something had happened. He leaned forward, grabbing her hand in his. "Where were you? What are you not telling me?"

She looked up at him and he could see tears brimming on her lower lashes. "I was so angry with you. I thought maybe you were going to re-think this whole thing when you realized how hard it was going to be. When everyone thought we'd been having an affair all these years. And I…" She swiped a tear away before it could spill over her lower lashes. "I was so upset for letting myself fall in love with you and for being hopeful about a future together and..." She stopped.

Elliot sat back because he could tell it wasn't what he was thinking. This was something else. He furrowed his brow. "I wasn't thinking that. Not at all."

"I know that now. I overreacted but at the time, I just wasn't thinking clearly." She stood up and walked over to the windows, her back to Elliot. "I was mad at you and mad at myself for needing you so badly."

"What did you do? he asked, and Olivia could hear the strain in his voice.

"I went to a bar." She said quietly, closing her eyes and thinking that this was the end.

Elliot let out a sigh of relief and Olivia knew that he wasn't thinking about the implications of what she said. "God Liv. I thought something horrible happened on your way home or something. So you met Casey at a bar and had a few drinks. So what?"

Olivia turned around to face him, figuring she owed him at least that much.

"I didn't meet Casey at the bar. She came and picked me up after."

Elliot had a confused look on his face. "After what? I'm sorry but I don't understand what you're trying to tell me."

"I went there to meet someone."

"Who?"

Olivia took a deep breath. "Anyone." It took Elliot a few seconds to process what she was saying, but her words finally sunk in and suddenly, he understood with complete clarity.

He stood up abruptly, and she could see the anger erupt in his features. "You went to the bar to pick up a guy?"

"I was angry with you and I wanted to hurt you. But there was also a part of me that wanted to prove that I didn't need you. That there would be someone out there that wanted me."

Elliot's mind was assaulted with images of her in some dark bar, some stranger's hands and mouth on her, and his rage was palpable.

Olivia could see his hands clenched into fists at his side. She had seen this side of him before, and it usually ended up with him taking it out on lockers, walls and perps. She felt horrible that was the cause of it.

"Elliot. I didn't leave with anyone." She tried to quelch some of his anger. "I realized I'd made a mistake. A huge mistake. I didn't do it. I wouldn't have done that to you." She was talking quickly now, but she saw the look in his eyes and she knew that she had pushed him over the edge. Anything she said now was falling on deaf ears. "I didn't want that. I wasn't thinking. I don't want anyone else."

"You went there to..." Elliot just stared at her, trying to process what she'd done…what she had intended to do. He couldn't reconcile how one small disagreement escalated into something like that. _What the hell had she been thinking?_

"Elliot. I'm so sorry. I don't know what I was thinking but I didn't do anything. I just had a drink and then I called Casey and…"

"Shut up. I don't want to hear it Olivia." He roared. He took a few steps towards her, and even though she wasn't physically afraid of Elliot, she shrank back against the wall. "You really can't let yourself be happy can you? We've been through so much…have denied ourselves for so long and now we finally get our shit together to have a shot at this." He was full on yelling now and she could feel tears pricking at her eyes. "And then we have one disagreement and your first thought is to cheat on me? Go sleep with someone else?"

"I didn't cheat on you." Olivia said knowing her defense was weak.

"Semantics Olivia." He leaned in. "How far did you let him get?" He had a nasty look on his face as he pulled back. "All's that means is that maybe you didn't fuck him but it's all the same to me. You might as well have."

Olivia was shaking her head. "It was just a drink. He didn't touch me." She said, trying to make him understand that it didn't go nearly as far as he was imagining.

"Do I mean that little to you?" Elliot said, and now he wasn't yelling any more. That almost worried Olivia more.

"No." Olivia said, reaching out her hands. But Elliot stepped back, avoiding her reach. "No. You mean everything to me. That's why I didn't. I couldn't. I realized I was making a big mistake and that I overreacted. I love you." The words were pouring out of her mouth. Anything to take that look off his face. "Elliot please. I made a mistake. Please. Talk to me."

Elliot shook his head. "I wanted to give you everything Olivia."

Olivia took another step towards him. "I know. Please. I love you. This was a mistake but this will never happen again. You have to believe me. You can trust me."

"I don't know if I can." He took a few more steps back and Olivia could see tears in his eyes now too. "I have to go."

"No!" Olivia yelled, trying to catch up to him as he moved to the door. "Elliot. Don't go." He opened the door and stopped without looking back. Olivia caught up to him, but didn't touch him. "Please. Don't go." She said quietly, hoping he would turn around and come back inside. But her heart broke as he walked through the door, slamming it behind him.

EOEOEOEO

Elliot was furious. He'd had to leave. He couldn't even look at Olivia right now, much less be in the same room. He stormed out of her apartment building and just walked, no destination in mind. His mind was reeling. He had expected to have a discussion about his insensitivity; about what an asshole he was for denying their relationship. And he would have apologized because she would have been right. He had expected to ask for her forgiveness, grovel a little, tell her how much he loved her and promise her that it would never happen again. He thought it would take a while for her to give in…to forgive him completely. But when she'd let him crawl in bed with her last night, he thought maybe things would be OK.

But this… He had never expected anything remotely like this. He ran over everything she'd said as he walked, trying to figure out what could have possibly led her to go to such an extreme. He knew she'd been upset but…

 _She'd gone to a bar and tried to pick up a guy_.

There was no scenario that would make that OK unless she'd caught him cheating himself. _None._

He thought about what she'd said. That the guy she'd met hadn't touched her. That she had realized she had made a mistake and left. He was trying to decide if he believed her.

EOEOEOEO

After Elliot left, Olivia sank down against the wall, burying her head in her hands. No tears came; instead she felt numb. She had finally gotten what she wanted and then had thrown everything away. All due to her own insecurities.

Maybe Elliot was right. Maybe she didn't know how to let herself be happy. For her whole, fucked up childhood, her mother had convinced her that she wasn't worthy of love…maybe she'd never gotten past that. She'd failed at every single relationship. She avoided intimacy…she maintained complete control, never letting anyone get to close. Until Elliot. She'd let him in. They'd become best friends. And then she'd fallen in love.

She gasped with the realization of what she'd lost. She couldn't breathe. She put her hand on her chest and pushed herself up, trying to catch her breath. She walked into the bedroom, and lay down on the bed, gasping as she felt the panic rise. She tried to take deep breathes, but suddenly she was overwhelmed with the smell of him. On her pillow and in her sheets, and she let out a loud sob. The tears came and she rolled over and let them consume her.

EOEOEOEO

"What are you doing here?" Fin asked as he saw Elliot walk into the squad room. "I thought Dad suspended your ass." He shot a look towards Cragen's office. "He's going to kill you if he sees you."

"Good thing I'm not really here." Said Elliot. He was not in the mood to talk to Fin. He grabbed something out of his desk drawer and then headed towards the small gym.

Fin stood up and followed him into the locker room. Elliot opened his locker, ignoring him.

"How's Liv?"

Elliot continued to ignore him as he pulled his shirt off.

"Liv told you that I know what's going on, right?" Fin leaned against the lockers. "You know I'm not your biggest fan Stabler. But I love Liv. So I'm just going to tell you one time that if you do anything to hurt her, I am going to personally take you out."

Elliot turned and stared at him. "You don't want to mess with me right now."

"Just letting you know how it is." Said Fin, not intimidated by Elliot in the least.

"Yeah, well, it's not going to be a problem." Elliot said, pulling on some shorts. "Cuz there' nothing going on."

Fin gave him a scowl. "Whatcha' talkin' about? You already mess things up Stabler?"

"It's not me you need to be talking to. Go talk to Saint Olivia." He slammed his locker door and headed into the gym.

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia woke up to the sound of her cell phone ringing on her nightstand. She was disoriented for a moment, but then lunged at the phone, thinking it was Elliot.

"Hello." She said breathlessly.

"Liv. It's Casey."

Olivia let out the breath she'd been holding. "Oh. Hi."

"Were you sleeping?" Casey said, sounding slightly puzzled.

Olivia looked at the clock and saw it was noon. "Can I call you back?"

"Sure." Casey said, and Olivia heard the line disconnect.

Olivia quickly scrolled through her text messages and her voicemails, checking to see if Elliot had called or sent her a message. She wasn't surprised when she didn't see anything from him. But she was surprised to see a text message from Fin. Fin was not a communicator. He spoke as little as possible, and he certainly did not text her. She opened up the message.

"Everything OK?" That was all the message said. Olivia was puzzled, wondering what Fin knew. And how he knew. She hit REPLY. "Everything's fine." She hit SEND. She climbed out of bed and went into the bathroom. When she got out, she had another message from Fin. "I'm here for you."

Olivia didn't know what the hell was going on, but obviously Fin must have run into Elliot. She hit REPLY once again and replied with a simple "Thanks."

She opened a new message and typed in Elliot's name. She knew she had to reach out to him, but she didn't know what to say. She decided to keep it simple. "I'm sorry. Please talk to me." She hit SEND. She opened up another message. "I love you." She waited for a few minutes, waiting for a reply. When none came, she wandered out into the living room, plopped down on the couch and called Casey back.

As soon as she heard Casey's voice, she could feel the tears again, and she told her everything that had happened with Elliot.

EOEOEOEOEO

Elliot punished himself with a grueling workout, trying to rid himself of the anger and frustration. He tried to keep his mind off Olivia, but not surprisingly, he couldn't. When he was done, he took a long, hot shower, trying to think about what he was going to do next.

This couldn't be the end. They had been together too long; they had been through so much together. The truth was that he was absolutely, completely in love with Olivia Benson. He just didn't know if he could get past this…If he could trust her again.

He toweled off and got dressed again. He grabbed his phone off the shelf and saw he had a message from Olivia. He sat down on the bench with a heavy sigh. He still wasn't ready to talk to her. But he knew in his heart that he wasn't going to be able to walk away from her.


	31. Chapter 31

Olivia heard a knock on her door, and even though she knew it was Casey, she hoped to see Elliot on the other side of the door when she opened it. She braced herself, but saw it was indeed Casey at her door, several bags in hand.

Casey barged her way in. "I brought lunch."

"I'm not really hungry but thanks." Olivia said as she closed the door. "I told you that you didn't need to come over. You're working."

Casey looked at her watch. "I don't have to be in court for two hours." She settled herself on the couch, taking sandwiches out of the bag. "And I have to eat anyways, so I decided I may as well keep you company."

"Worried I'm going to off myself?" Olivia said, a half-hearted attempt at humor.

Casey gave her a look and kept unloading food.

Olivia sat down next to her with a heavy sigh. "How many people are you feeding?" she asked when she saw four different sandwiches and a variety of salads and chips.

"I didn't know what would sound good to you."

"Nothing sounds good." She said, watching Casey take a bite out of a sandwich. "Mostly I just feel like I want to throw up."

Casey set down her sandwich quickly. "Thanks. Now I'm not hungry anymore."

'Sorry."

"Have you heard from Elliot?"

Olivia shook her head.

Casey grimaced. "Sorry."

"I just keep telling myself that it's only been a couple of hours. He was pretty upset and I know it always takes him a while to calm down. Sometimes it takes days." She picked up her phone and looked at it for the hundredth time in the past hour. "But I do think he went to the precinct because I got a strange text message from Fin. So he had to have been there."

"Probably some new holes in the wall around there somewhere." Casey said, only half-joking. She'd been around long enough to have faced a pissed of Elliot. She'd been on the receiving end of some biting comments from him on several occasions herself.

"Yeah." Said Olivia. "I just…we need to talk. We have to go back to work the day after tomorrow and Cragen wants to talk to us and I'm not even sure what's going on or what's going to happen." She ran her hands over her face and back through her hair. "I guess in some ways it doesn't matter. There's no way we can be partners anymore." She picked idly at some lint on her sweatpants. "But we can't go into Cragen's office if we haven't even seen each other or talked through this. We have to decide where we're going to go from here."

"Where do you want it to go from here?" Casey asked, already knowing the answer.

"You already know the answer, don't you?" She said, looking at Casey as she fell back against the couch. "I messed up. But I need Elliot to talk to me so we can work through this. I need him to know he can trust me. Technically, I didn't do anything. I mean, I can see if I'd actually cheated on him, but this was just a drink." She looked up at Casey. "I'm not saying it was OK." She added quickly. "I'm just not ready to give up on this. It's what we both want…what we've both wanted for so long. He has to see that."

"I don't know why you're taking all of the blame here. Elliot was the one that acted like an asshole and pretended liken nothing was going on."

Olivia sighed. "I know and I'm still a little angry about that. But I get it I guess. It wasn't the time or place to have that discussion with those guys. We should have just left together and not gotten into it."

"You're just going to let him off the hook?"

"No. I'm not saying that. But in thinking back to what happened, it just snowballed so quickly. I mean, first he messed up by denying our relationship, but then I got more angry about it then I probably should have, pushing him to go with them and basically telling him I didn't want him around and didn't want to talk about it, and then he made the mistake of listening to me, which made me madder and then I went and pulled a dumb stunt that I knew would hurt him and piss him off." She groaned and dropped her head in her hands. "Talk about dysfunctional."

"Yeah, well you two have always known how to cut each other to the core and you fight like someone's handing out prizes for first place.

Olivia rolled her eyes at Casey but then looked down again. "I just don't know how to get him to talk to me Casey. I know if we can talk we can get past it. But that's never been my strong suit. Or Elliot's." Her voice was quiet.

Casey seemed thoughtful for a minute. "Well, I could call him and tell him I need to meet with him about a case and then you could be there." She offered.

"So you think it's a good idea to be deceitful to get him to talk to me? I'm not sure that sets the right tone. I think he'd been really pissed that I ambushed him."

Casey nodded. "Yeah, you're right."

"I'm just going to try to be patient and let him have some time and try to reach him later." Olivia leaned back on the couch. "As much as it kills me."

EOEOEOEO

Elliot want back to his apartment after his workout at the precinct. He took a shower, and got cleaned up, but had no idea what he was going to do with himself the rest of the day. He leaned against his kitchen counter, his arms outstretched, rocking slightly on his feet. The workout had helped to dispel some of his anger, but thoughts of Olivia kept running through his mind. He sighed heavily. This time yesterday, the only thing he could think about was spending their three days off wrapped around Olivia's luscious body. Now…

He slapped his hand against the counter in frustration. Despite everything that had happened, that's still where he wanted to be.

 _Fuck_.

He grabbed his keys off the counter, slipped on his shoes and headed out the door.

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia took a shower, but didn't feel like getting dressed. She didn't have any plans on going out. She pulled on a pair of black yoga pants and pulled Elliot's NYPD sweatshirt over her head, inhaling the scent of him. She dried her hair a little with a towel, and then dropped it on the bathroom floor. She brushed her teeth, spitting into the sink. She opened up her medicine cabinet and grabbed her birth control pills. Not that she was going to need them any time soon…

She sat down on the toilet lid, tears pricking at the back of her eyes again. She shook her head. _Knock it off Benson_. She couldn't remember the last time she had cried this much; and it sucked because she knew it was partially her fault. She swiped at her eyes angrily and stood up. She had to find something to do to take her mind off this entire mess.

She walked out to the bedroom when suddenly she heard a knock at the door. Her breath froze in her chest as she stopped dead in her tracks. She couldn't move. She knew it had to be Elliot, and as much as she wanted to see him, there was a part of her that didn't. As long as he wasn't there to tell her it was over, she could believe they could work this out.

She heard another knock, pulling her out of her reverie, and she headed into the living room to get the door. She took a deep breath before opening it. As expected, she saw Elliot standing there, leaning with a hand on either side of the door. He didn't say anything, just looked up at her without lifting his head. They stared at each other for a minute before he finally broke the silence.

"You gonna let me in?" he asked, a tinge of anger in his voice.

Olivia stepped back without saying anything, giving him access. He walked past her quickly, moving across the room to the living room window, keeping his back to her. Olivia closed the door. She was torn because she was so happy that he'd come over, but she could tell he was still angry with her. As much as she wanted to resolve this with him, she wasn't sure either one of them had tight enough control over their anger to talk this through.

She walked into the living room, stopping next to the couch. She didn't know what to say or to do, so she waited for Elliot to make the next move.

"You still upset with me?" he asked, not turning to face her.

Olivia hesitated a moment, but answered quietly. "It's not that simple."

"It's a yes or no question Olivia."

She pursed her lips together at the use of her full name. She didn't have to ask if he was still angry. "It's not Elliot. If I tell you no, I'd be lying. If I tell you yes, you'll refuse to talk to me and you'll walk out of here." She sat down on the corner of the couch, turning so her body was facing his. He still hadn't turned to look at her, but he hadn't left. She took that as a good sign. "Are you still upset with me?" she asked.

"Yes."

His stark answer surprised her after what she'd said to him. She had thought he would soften it a little.

"I didn't want to come over here." He confessed and Olivia's breath hitched and she waited for him to continue. When he didn't, she asked the question.

"So why did you?"

Elliot turned around quickly, startling her with the intensity in his eyes. He let out an exasperated huff. "Because…" He shook his head. "I just couldn't…" He shook his head, his eyes narrowing. "I just had to."

Olivia knew that admission was tough for him.

'I'm glad you did. I wanted to see you too." Olivia offered, letting him know she felt the same way.

Elliot paced back and forth in front of the window. "Talking has never been easy for us. And I'm still upset about what you did…or at least what you thought about doing." He stopped pacing and looked at her. "I know I fucked up too, and that's why you're mad at me too. And I didn't want to come over here because I know we're just going to end up yelling at each other." His voice was already starting to escalate slightly, so he stopped talking, taking in and letting out a deep breath. He shook his head, as if he didn't want to speak the words coming out of his mouth. "But I just had to tell you…"

Olivia pushed herself up off the couch. "Tell me what?"

Elliot didn't answer. Olivia took a few steps towards him, reaching out and putting a hand on his bicep. "Tell me what?" She knew he was feeling the same contradiction she was. The anger was still there, but she wanted to tell him that they could get through this; that they would be OK.

Elliot eyes met hers. He moved his hands and wrapped them around her, pulling her into his chest. He buried his face in her hair and she felt his warm breath against her scalp. She could feel his heart thudding in his chest.

He held her for a moment before he spoke. "I just needed to tell you that this isn't the end." He pulled back, placing his hand on her shoulders. "And I had to know that you feel the same way."

Olivia nodded. "I haven't been able to stop thinking about it all day. This can't be the end of us."

Elliot nodded, relieved to know she felt the same way. He ran his hands down her arms, pressing his lips together. He just wanted to forget the whole thing and pull his mouth against hers, but he knew that wasn't the answer. "I have to go." He pulled his hands from her and walked past her.

Olivia wanted to tell him not to go, but he knew it had taken him a lot to come over at all. So she didn't say anything as he walked out the door. She curled up on the couch, pulling her knees to her chin. She lay her cheek against her knees, thinking about everything that had happened in the past 24 hours. She hadn't been lying when she told Elliot she was still a little upset with him, and she thought about all of the things they had ahead of them if they decided to keep going forward. Elliot had a whole personal life that was separate from her; friends and relatives she didn't know; a history she hadn't been a part of. There would be snickers and I told you so's by those that had been convinced they'd been having an affair for years. She would have a new partner…she might even have to get a new job. All of these thoughts raced through her mind, creating a long list of why this was going to be so damned hard. But Olivia had never taken the easy way out and she wasn't about to start now. The rewards were worth it.

EOEOEOEOEO

It was really hard for Elliot to leave, but he knew he had to. His anger was still simmering below the surface, and he knew it wouldn't take much for him to go over the edge. Especially if both of them were still hurting. He scrubbed his face over his face as he paced outside her apartment, trying to decide what to do next. He wasn't used to having free time. His life had been work and family…and Olivia. But none of those were an option right now. He let out a heavy sigh and headed for his apartment.

When he got there, he settled on the couch and turned on the TV, trying to get interested in something. Anything. To take his mind of Olivia. He came across the Mets game, and quickly passed over that. That was the start of all of this trouble. He finally found an old movie and lay down to watch. Before long, he had nodded off to sleep, the stress of the day finally catching up with him.

When he woke up, he was disoriented, surprised he had fallen asleep. He looked at his watch and saw it was almost 5PM. He sat up, running a hand over his hair. He stood up and used the bathroom, and then walked back into the living room, picking up his phone to see if he had any messages. He was surprised to see that he had a message from Olivia. He thumbed it open.

"Thank you for coming over today."

Her message said so much, and he was so grateful that she'd sent it. She was acknowledging how hard this was for both of them, and how hard it had been for him to come over to see her, even though he wasn't ready to talk. He thought about Olivia's face when she saw him in the doorway; the look of relief that crossed her features. He knew they'd work this out, and suddenly, he didn't want to wait any more to resolve this.

He hit REPLY and typed a message.

"Dinner?" he hesitated a second, unsure of what her response would be. But he thought she was ready to accept. He hit SEND.

He didn't get a response for several minutes and he could almost see her on the other end, trying to dissect what he was doing. He wanted to text her and tell he not to overthink it. Another minute went by before he got a reply.

"I'd like that."

He smiled. His first smile since they'd left Citi Field. "Do you want to go out? Or stay in?" His hit SEND. He got a reply almost immediately.

"My place. 7PM."


	32. Chapter 32

For the second time that day, Elliot knocked at Olivia's door. He was nervous, and he shifted from one foot to the other as he waited, a bottle of wine in his hand. When the door opened, Elliot smiled slightly, taking in the sight before him. Olivia had left her hair in loose waves and kept her make-up to a minimum. The natural look he loved. She was wearing a simple black dress, nothing too clingy or revealing...and her legs and feet were bare.

"If you're trying to distract me and make me forget why I was upset with you, you're probably on the right track." He joked, knowing she would never resort to those kinds of tactics. But she, like him, had definitely made an effort.

Olivia smiled. "I could say the same for you." Her eyes scanned over the length of him, taking in the fit of his jeans, and the fact that his blue striped shirt matched his eyes. "Is that a new shirt?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"You should be a detective." He said, slightly embarrassed at having been caught. He didn't know why he felt compelled to dress up, like it was a date or something. But he was happy to see that she had felt the same.

She gave him a shy smile and stepped back, motioning for him to come in. He handed her the bottle as he walked by. "I brought wine." He stopped just inside the door as she closed it behind him, his nose sniffing the air. "Something smells good."

Olivia brushed by him as she walked into the kitchen, and he followed behind her. She moved over to the oven and opened the door.

"You didn't have to cook. I would have taken you out." Elliot said.

She looked up at him as she shut the oven door. "I know. I wanted to." She stood up and turned towards the wine sitting on the counter. "Although I didn't have much in the house, so you're getting lasagna." She handed the bottle of wine and the corkscrew to him. "So don't complain and open the wine."

She leaned against the counter as he opened it. He poured both glasses and handed her one, leaning against the counter across from her. "Sounds good to me. I haven't had a good home cooked meal…" his voice trailed off, thinking it probably wasn't a good time to mention his ex-wife.

Olivia raised an eyebrow again, knowing exactly what he was going to say. She let it pass. "Well, don't get used to it."

Elliot smiled at her comment. It meant she was planning on future dinners with him and he took that as a good sign. He took another sip of wine and they stood awkwardly, not knowing what to say.

The timer went off, breaking the silence and Olivia almost breathed a sigh of relief. She grabbed the oven mitts and opened the oven, pulling the lasagna out of the oven and set it on the stove. "It has to sit for a few minutes." She said, pulling off the oven mitts and setting them on the counter next to the stove. She felt Elliot's presence behind her before she felt his hands land lightly on her shoulders. He didn't push his body against hers, but he leaned in to whisper in her ear. "I'm sorry Olivia."

Olivia swallowed hard, almost unable to believe that Elliot had apologized. And that he had apologized first. "Elliot." She whispered. "I'm sorry too."

Elliot wrapped his arms around her, trapping her up against his body as she kissed the apple of her cheek and Olivia let her head drop back against his shoulder. She took a deep breath as relief coursed through her. Elliot gave her one final squeeze and then released her, stepping back and grabbing his wine glass.

"Let's eat."

She turned and gave him a small smile and then he turned and grabbed the bottle and her glass and headed for the table. Olivia hesitated a second, taking a deep breath. She knew they still needed to talk, but the anger was gone. She just wanted to work through this and move forward.

EOEOEOEOEOEO

Olivia dished up the lasagna and they started eating. Neither one wanted to ruin the mood by addressing the serious issues, so it was quiet. Finally, Elliot broke the silence.

"So. Fin must have been worried that you wouldn't deliver his message to me. He decided to warn me in person today."

Olivia gave him a small, close lipped smile. "I thought maybe you had seen him today. I got a strange text message from him."

"Yeah. I didn't dare tell him that I'd already messed up." He smirked a little. "He's the only guy I'm legitimately scared of."

Olivia nodded. "Smart man."

'Some times."

"You're lucky Cragen didn't catch you at the precinct."

"I can be pretty sneaky."

Olivia laughed lightly. "Not as sneaky as you think." She thought back to their night in the cribs, and assumed Elliot was doing the same.

Elliot poured some more wine into each of their glasses, thankful for the easy conversation.

Olivia pushed her plate back, grabbing her wine glass and taking another sip.

"You barely ate anything." Elliot said.

"I wasn't very hungry." She said.

Elliot ate a few more bites and pushed his plate back as well. "That was really good."

"Thanks."

Elliot picked up his wine glass and leaned back in his chair. "This almost seems like a date." He said, taking a sip. He looked over at Olivia. She was sitting forward in her chair with her elbows on the table. She was holding her wine glass with both hands, staring into the amber liquid.

"I wouldn't have left the bar with anyone." She whispered. She shook her head lightly. "I don't…" She looked up at Elliot. "I don't want anyone else." She bit her bottom lip, her eyes moving back and forth between his. "I need you to believe me."

Elliot stared back at her, considering her words.

She looked back down at her wine, unable to read the expression on his face. "I have spent my whole life keeping people at arm's length, remaining unattached…making sure I wouldn't get hurt by breaking things off first, or not getting too emotionally involved in the first place." Her eyes shot back up to Elliot's again. "But with you. Elliot. My feelings for you scare the hell out of me. I'm in so deep." She took a long sip of wine. "I guess I always expected that I'd get hurt…that this wasn't going to work. So when you blew my off like that, I just felt like everything I thought would happen, did." She set her wine glass down, and wrapped one hand over the other. "It's not an excuse. There is no excuse. I'm just trying to tell you what was going through my mind." She swallowed hard and stole a look back at Elliot, but his expression hadn't changed. "I can't take it back. I can't undo it. But I just need you to know that something like that won't happen again. If you give me another chance, I won't be so stupid to throw it away again so easily." She blew a breath through her lips, relieved at having gotten it all out. She grabbed her glass and took another sip of wine, setting it back down before she looked back at Elliot.

Elliot was still leaning against the chair and he still hadn't said anything. After a half a minute, he sat up in the chair. He grabbed the bottle of wine and finished off the bottle when he filled his and Olivia's glass.

"You know what I've been thinking?"

Olivia furrowed her brow slightly, surprised to hear a question. She had expected a response to what she'd just poured out. She just stared back at him, but he waited, as if he was expecting her to respond.

"What?"

"I've been thinking that I can't remember a time that I didn't love you. I've been thinking that I've waited so long to be able to say those words to you. I've been thinking that I've never been so happy as I was when you said the same to me. And I've been thinking that I've waited a long time to let everyone know how I feel about you." He stopped talking and leaned over, placing his hand over Olivia's. "So there's absolutely no reason for me to have denied it yesterday." He shook his head. "I really was just caught by surprise…and I know it doesn't mean much, but I feel like a complete asshole." He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand, watching as it smoothed over the skin there. "You should have told me I was being an ass, and I shouldn't have let you walk away." He pulled her hands towards him slightly, looking up at her and seeing his image mirrored in her eyes. "No more walking away from each other."

Olivia didn't say anything.

"Liv?"

"I don't understand how you know what I'm thinking all the time, and yet we never seem to be able to talk to each other about really important things. We both want this to work out, and yet the first small ripple and it escalates into something that almost destroys us. I just don't know how to do this." Olivia stood up and took a step away from the table, turning her back to him.

Elliot stood up and came up behind her, resting his hands lightly at her waist. "Liv, _you_ don't have to do it. _We_ have to do it _."_ He slid his hands up her arms, causing goosebumps to break out across her skin. He rested his hands on her shoulders, squeezing gently. "We're probably going to fight…and we're going to mess things up sometimes. But that happens in all relationships." He leaned his head down to rest his cheek against hers. "Tell me you want to give this another shot."

Olivia reached up and slipped her thumbs underneath his hands, pulling them off her shoulders. She turned around, placing them back at her waist. She looked up at him, her eyes moving back and forth between his. She trailed her hands up his arms until they reached his shoulders. She ran one hand up, caressing his cheek, thinking about how she felt about the man standing before her. She knew she didn't want a future without him in it. She leaned forward, pushing up on her toes slightly, tipping her face to his. "Kiss me Elliot."

Elliot grinned, leaning down and placing a warm, open mouthed kiss against her lips. He tasted the sweetness of the wine and the tang of the marinara sauce on her lips and he hummed against her mouth. "Hmm. You taste good." He said, pulling his mouth from hers.

He took a piece of her hair in his hand, twisting it around his finger. "I believe you Liv." He said.

Olivia was a little confused by his statement, until she realized that he was finally commenting on the statement she'd made earlier. She smiled, knowing that was a big leap of faith for him and his jealous nature. She couldn't think of anything to say to acknowledge it except a quiet thank you.

"So…" Elliot said, rubbing his thumbs back and forth at her waist. "You're all dressed up, and I'm a little dressed up. What do you want to do now?"

Olivia shrugged her shoulders slightly, giving him a small smile. "Hey, I made dinner. The rest is up to you."

He slid one hand around her waist and pulled her closer, using his other hand to take hers. "How about if we dance?" he asked. He lay his cheek against hers and started to sway in place, moving her body gently with his.

"There's no music." She whispered.

"I hear music Liv."

They swayed in place for a few minutes and Olivia sighed contentedly against his cheek. Sometimes Elliot shocked the hell out of her. She thought she knew everything about him, and then he did things like this.

"Sometimes you surprise the hell out of me." She said quietly.

"Good. I hope there's a lot we still have to learn about each other." He whispered against her cheek as they continued to move together.

They were quiet for a few minutes, just moving together. Elliot's hand moved softly against the small of her back, and she curled her fingers around the back of his neck with her right hand. Their other hands were clasped together and trapped between their bodies.

"El." She whispered. "Make love to me."

Elliot stopped moving and pulled back slightly, looking down at her. She placed one hand on each shoulder, running his hands up her neck and tangling his fingers in her hair. "Are you sure that's what you want?" he asked.

Olivia bit her bottom lip and nodded. "Absolutely."

The word wasn't even out of her mouth before Elliot had tilted his head and dropped his mouth on hers. He pulled her bottom lip between his, sucking lightly before he released it and nipped at her top lip with his teeth. He deepened the kiss, kissing her as if he'd been worried that he'd never have the opportunity again. "God Liv." He moaned. He was relentless against her mouth, and as his tongue swiped hers, he heard a small moan come from deep inside her. He tugged her hair slightly, opening her mouth more widely and he devoured her, giving her no opportunity to take a breath. She dug her fingernails into his shoulders and she felt warmth spread through her body.

Elliot finally relented, pulling his mouth from hers. Olivia gasped to catch a breath, her body still held close to his. She ran her hands down over his shoulders and down his chest, smoothing her hands back and forth across the muscles on his chest. She reached for the top button of his shirt, unbuttoning it slowly before moving to the next one. After the third button was open, she placed an open mouthed kiss on his chest and then ran her tongue down the trail of open skin she was revealing as she finished the last of the buttons. She continued to kiss her way back up his chest as she pulled his shirt back over his shoulders, letting it drop to the floor.

She ran her hands up his arms, her fingers tracing the tattoo on his arm. She always marveled at the strength of him; the way his muscles strained against his skin. He was beautiful and she spent so many years looking at him, admiring but not touching… She looked up at him from under her lashes and saw he was watching her, his eyes dark with lust. God, she wanted this man. She ran her hands back down his arms, grasping his hands. She started walking backwards, tugging at his arms as she pulled him with her to the bedroom. Once they were inside, Olivia stopped next to the bed. She dropped his hands and turned around.

"Help me with my zipper." She motioned towards her back.

Elliot rested his hands on her shoulders, and brushed his thumbs along the soft skin of her neck. He ran his hands down her arms and back up again, before moving one hand to the zipper. He slid it down, revealing the smooth skin of her back. As he pushed the dress off her shoulders, he placed gentle kisses on her bare shoulders, holding the dress in place. Olivia moaned lightly as he trailed his tongue back across her left shoulder, and she tilted her head slightly, giving him better access. He kissed and sucked on her neck beneath her ear and she shuddered slightly, letting out a small moan. He let the dress drop from his hands, and she stepped out of out and kicked it out of the way.

Elliot's breath hitched slightly as he took in her dark, smooth skin, the back of her black bra and the small black panties barely covering her ass. He let out a low growl, stepping closer and cupping her ass with both hands. "Jesus Liv. I'm never, _ever_ going to get tired of this." He kissed her shoulders and neck, squeezing her ass before letting his hands trail up her sides until they brushed the sides of her breasts. He moved his hands to cup them, feeling the weight of them in his hands and squeezing gently. He pulled her back against his body, pressing his erection against her ass, eliciting another small moan from her.

He ran his thumbs over the swell of her breasts, sliding them over the skin and then down the satin, feeling her peaked nipples beneath the fabric. He continued to tease her with his thumbs and Olivia pushed her hips back against him, letting her head fall back against his shoulder. Her eyes closed and Elliot's mouth continued to attack her neck. His hands fell from her breasts and Olivia let out a small sound of protest, until he reached between their bodies and unhooked her bra. In an instant, his hands were back on her breasts, squeezing and tugging her nipples, and Olivia felt a rush of liquid heat between her legs.

She gasped as he continued to tease her neck and her breasts and she rocked against his erection again, causing Elliot to moan. She knew he was probably marking her neck but right now, she didn't care. The only thing she could focus on was his hands…and how much she wanted them to move down her body…to feel the heat between her legs. She was aching for him to touch her and she rocked her hips back against him one more time. Elliot's right hand dropped from her breast and smoothed down her abdomen until his fingers reached her panties. He stopped, slipping one finger slightly under the waistband, moving slightly back and forth across her skin.

Olivia growled in annoyance. "Damn it. Stop teasing me." She moaned and she heard a small laugh from Elliot.

"Patience." He said, knowing it would only spur her on.

She reached down and pulled his hand from her, turning around quickly. "I don't have any patience when it comes to you." She reached for the belt of his jeans, unbuckling it quickly. "And you have too many clothes on." She pulled the belt out of his jeans, and made quick work of the button and zipper of his jeans. She tugged them down over his hips and down his legs, and Elliot kicked them off. She ran her hand over his length and Elliot pushed his hips forward, pressing himself against her hand as she slid her hands up and down his erection. She moved both hands to the waistband of his boxers, pulling them down and freeing his erection. She trailed her fingers lightly down the length of him before grasping him firmly in her hand. She licked her lips, her thighs clenching together at the thought of him inside her. She ran her hand over the tip, and then ran her hand back down his length, sending a shudder through him.

He grabbed her hand with a growl, and pushed her back onto the bed, startling her slightly. She landed on the soft surface and laughed lightly, moving to pull herself up on the bed. Elliot grabbed her legs, stopping her movement, so that her legs were still hanging off the bed slightly. He stood between her legs, looking down at her and he let his eyes travel up her body. He swallowed hard, desire rooted deep in his groin, his dick twitching as his eyes moved over her body; her long legs, the small black panties, her full breasts rising slightly with each breath, the flush of her skin...until he reached her face. He saw a small seductive smile on her face and her eyes were filled with lust.

God, he wanted this forever.

He ran his hands up her thighs, letting his thumbs glide along the soft skin of her inner thighs until they reached the seam of her panties. He leaned over, placing small kisses along her thighs and she writhed beneath him. He heard her say his name softly and he reached up, placing one hand on her hip as he put his mouth over her. She gasped softly, trying to push her hips up into him, but he held her down. He let his tongue tease the seam of her panties and he moved his hand to pull them aside, giving him access to trail his tongue between her folds.

 _So fucking wet_.

She groaned loudly then, and he found her clit with his tongue as he slid a finger inside her, eliciting a loud yell from her as he teased her with his tongue and her finger. He slid another finger inside of her, moving and stretching her.

"Fuck." She growled. Elliot's fingers were thick and rough inside of her and she knew she was going to come hard with the motion of his hand and his tongue teasing her clit mercilessly. She felt her body starting to shudder and she fought against him, her body trying to escape his relentless teasing.

Elliot could feel the slow trembling of her body. "Come for me Liv." He dropped his mouth against her again, sucking and teasing her clit until he felt her entire body spasm as her orgasm ripped through her. She clenched against his fingers and he felt her release coat his fingers as she moved beneath him, her hands grasping at his head as she tried to push him away.

He lifted his mouth from her and leaned back, dragging her panties down her hips and off her legs. He looked down at her, seeing the drowsy, drugged look on her face as she looked up at him. He crawled on the bed, trying to push her legs apart with his, but she was too close to the edge of the bed.

"Move up." He said.

"Hmmm." She moaned, her body still limp from her orgasm. Elliot crawled over her, his thighs against her outer thighs and his arms on either side of hers.

"You have to move up on the bed." He said, dropping his mouth to her neck and placing kisses on her heated skin.

Olivia propped herself up on her elbows slightly, forcing Elliot to sit up slightly. She pulled herself up on the bed, so now Elliot's face was even with her breasts.

"Is that better?" she asked in a husky voice.

"Hmm." He said, taking one of her breasts in his mouth, teasing her with his tongue. He put one knee in between her legs and pushed them apart. He moved his other knee in between her legs, and used both to spread he legs. His erection knocked her entrance and her hips moved up to meet him.

Elliot pulled his mouth from her breast and moved back to hers, forcing her mouth open with his and driving his tongue to meet hers. He moved his hips forward, penetrating her slightly and she gasped, still sensitive from her orgasm.

"OK?" he asked quietly.

She gave him a breathy yes and he pushed inside, moaning as her tight walls clenched around him, seemingly fighting his intrusion.

"Jesus Liv. You feel so good." He moaned. He stopped momentarily, letting her body adjust, before he pushed in further. Olivia lifted her hips up slightly, trying to open herself more to him. He reached down and grasped her right thigh with his hand, hooking his arm beneath her thigh and pulling it to the side.

Olivia let out a long, loud groan as he entered her completely, filling her and stretching her. Her eyes slipped closed as Elliot's head fell to her shoulder, and they stayed that way for a few minutes, just feeling their bodies joined in the most intimate way.

Elliot couldn't wait anymore. The way her body was gripping his…he had to move. He raised himself up slightly on his arms and started a slow rhythm as he pulled out and then plunged back inside of her. He continued this slow movement, Olivia's hips rising up to meet his with each thrust, and he never wanted this to end.

"Faster." He heard her whisper and he smiled down at her, taking in the flush of her cheeks and her messy hair. Her eyes were still closed and she was pressing her fingers into his lower back, as if she was trying to push his body even deeper inside of her. He pressed his lips against hers in a slow, deep kiss. He pulled back and she opened her eyes.

Her eyes told him everything he needed to know. He increased the pace, moving his hips faster, and Olivia met him thrust for thrust. Their bodies were sweaty and you could her the slick sounds of their love-making as he moved against her. He was close…so close, but he wanted her to come again first.

"Liv." He said, his voice sounding strangled.

She clenched her muscles tight around him, and his last two thrusts inside her drove her over the edge. Her back came up off the bed as she dug her nails into his lower back and he was right behind her, releasing himself inside of her. Her walls clenched around him like a vise, drawing everything she could from his body.

He continued his motion, moving inside of her as long as he could. But he finally collapsed on top of her, forcing the breath from her.

" _Jesus fucking Christ_." Elliot moaned against her shoulder as he tried to brace himself back up on his arms. He lifted from her slightly, allowing her to breath as he nipped lightly at her shoulder and neck, growling lightly.

Olivia ran her hands up his back, and then pulled her arms out from around him and draped them lightly around his neck. "I agree." She whispered.

Elliot pulled out of her gently and fell to her side with a grunt. He rolled back up on his side, facing her with one hand propping up his head. He placed his other hand flat on her stomach and she jumped at the contact, her entire body highly sensitized. He traced patterns on her stomach and she laughed.

"That tickles." She said, putting her hand over his to still it. She pulled his hand up to her mouth and kissed his fingers. "I love your hands." She said, giving him a sultry look.

"Yeah?" he asked. He pulled his hand from her grasp and trailed it down between her breasts, over her stomach and her right hip, sliding down to her ass. He looked down at her with a smirk on his face. "Well, I like your ass." He gave her a squeeze. "Wait, I take that back." He ran his hand down her outer thigh. "I don't think I have a favorite part."

She slapped him playfully on the arm. "Well, I could say the same for you. I was just saying that I like your hands, but you're in amazing shape El." She ran her hand back up his arm. "I've been waiting to get your clothes off for years." She bit her bottom lip and gave him a lusty gaze.

"You don't know anything about waiting Benson." He ran his hand back up her outer thigh, tracing the path it took with his eyes. He continued, running it up lightly over her hip before resting it at her waist. He swallowed hard, looking back into her eyes. "Liv. When I said I wanted this with you…I meant the whole thing. I want to get married…I want it all." He felt her stiffen slightly under his hand and he smiled.

"Elliot. Let's not get ahead of ourselves." Olivia said lightly. Her mind was reeling from Elliot's words. It's not that she'd never thought about it, or that she didn't want those things too. It just seemed like things were moving so quickly.

"I don't mean right now…but someday Olivia. When you're ready."

"This is all going so fast El." She said.

He laughed. "It's been over seven years Liv. I have news for you. That's not fast."

She laughed. "I guess you have a point."

"I just want you to know that I'm not going anywhere. Whatever comes up, we're going to work through it." He moved his hand back over her stomach, rubbing his thumb against the skin there.

Olivia could tell he had something on his mind; something else he wanted to say. She trailed a finger over his cheek, worried that he thought she didn't feel the same way. "I know. I'm not going anywhere either."

His eyes moved down to where his hand was resting on her stomach. "Do you…" He hesitated. "Do you ever still think about having a baby?"

Her breath hitched in her chest, surprised by the question. It had been awhile since she'd mentioned anything about that to him.

His eyes moved back to hers, searching for the answer she wasn't giving him. "Liv."

"Sometimes." She said softly. "But I know that's probably not going to happen for me and I'm OK with that." The truth was that she had thought about it a lot recently in the last few weeks as she'd gotten involved with Elliot. He had four children already, and she knew that by choosing him, she was giving up that desire. But she was happy with Elliot; she loved him and couldn't imagine her life without him, so she was willing to give up that dream.

"Why would you give that up?" he asked, an incredulous look on his face. "Being a parent is one of the most amazing things in the world."

His statement made her a little upset. She didn't understand how he could say something like that to her. She sat up, pushing him back and away from her body. She pulled up her knees and wrapped her arms around her legs, dropping her head onto her arms. "Sometimes you have to make choices in life." She said quietly.

Elliot waited a beat before placing his hand on her lower back. He trailed his hand up her spine, sending a shiver through her body. He grasped her bicep gently. "Liv. Come back here." He tugged at her arm, but she pulled away from him.

Elliot sat up quickly and wrapped himself around her, burying his face in her hair. "We're going to have to make a lot of choices here Liv. Our lives are going to change. But you're my other half, and I'll gladly make any choice I have to do be with you. But this is one thing you don't have to make a choice about. When I said I wanted the whole thing, I meant it. I want to marry you some day. I want to have a baby with you. Hell, we can fill a whole houseful if you want. You're my other half Liv and I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"You already have a family El." She whispered. "It's OK. This is enough for me." She didn't lift her head and Elliot wondered if she was crying. "I love you and this is everything I wanted."

Elliot laughed lightly and moved to her side. She lifted her head to stare at him, her brows furrowed. Elliot cut her off before she could say anything. "Olivia. Do you think this is some big sacrifice I'm making?" He reached up and brushed her hair from her face. "You think I take that lightly? A baby's a commitment; bringing a life into this world is serious. I _want_ to have a baby with you Olivia. I love you." He rubbed his hand on her cheek. "If that's something you still want, and when you're ready."

"Elliot." She said, and he could see her lip trembling.

"We don't have to decide everything this minute. I just wanted to let you know what I'm thinking. You need to know how I feel about you. OK?"

Olivia nodded. "OK." She hadn't expected the discussion to take such a serious turn, and her mind was still trying to comprehend everything he was saying.

Elliot pushed her back gently, guiding her back down on the bed. He crawled up next to her and pulled her close, wrapping his arms around her. "I'm glad we made up. You're going to have to be careful from now on though. I may pick fights with you intentionally if all make-up sex is going to be this great."

Olivia smiled, happy that he was trying to ease them back into something simple; something playful; after the last few minutes. She slid her body up and over his. "You're going to find out that sex is much better when I'm happy." She kissed him. "And right now, I couldn't be happier."

 _AN: I know everyone's going to get on my case that they forgave each other too easily, but they both want this… and they both know they have some important decisions to make. Only one more day until they have to meet with Cragen. But please leave a review…happy or not. I love to hear from you._


	33. Chapter 33

Olivia woke up suddenly, feeling Elliot wrapped around her. His arm lay across her stomach, with his hand splayed out across her rib cage. She was snugged up against the wall of his chest and his face was buried her hair. She could feel his chest rise and fall slowly, and she knew he was asleep. She was facing the window, and could see the reddish streams of light from the sunset filtering through the drapes in her room.

She felt a delicious ache between her legs; their second round of love making had been a little more fervent than the first. She knew that their sex life was never going to be a problem; the chemistry between them assured that they would continue to enjoy that part of their relationship. It would never be boring. But the rest…

She thought about everything Elliot had said to her earlier in the evening. A part of her felt like things we moving so fast. But another part of her knew she'd had thoughts about having those things with Elliot before. She had…at a time when she shouldn't have been having those thoughts. When Elliot went home to Kathy at night, she'd thought about what it would be like if they left together. Went home together…a baby waiting at home with a nanny. She felt a small pang of guilt. Despite what Elliot said, she would always wonder if she was to blame for his divorce, even in some small way. If she'd never come to SVU, would he still be married today? She let out a small sigh…they couldn't turn back time and she didn't want to.

She shifted slightly and Elliot groaned a little, shifting with her. He pressed his body into hers, squeezing his arm tight around her. _Possessive, even in sleep_. She smiled to herself; she never needed anyone to protect her, but now, she thought it might be nice to lean on someone just a little. She closed her eyes, letting herself fall back to sleep.

EOEOEOEOEO

The next time she woke up, Elliot was nudging her. "That's your phone." He said, his voice groggy with sleep.

"Huh?" she asked, running her hand across her face, trying to wake up.

"Your phone." He repeated, loosening his grip on her. "You gonna get it?"

"No." she muttered. "It's not Cragen, so it's not important." She snuggled back into him, but then he groaned and started to pull away from her.

"Where are you going?" She asked, holding on to his arm so he couldn't move.

"Bathroom."

Olivia felt chilled when he got out of bed. She rolled over to face the bathroom, catching the sight of his bare ass as the door closed behind him. She smiled, pulling the covers up around her and snuggling into the pillows.

"You going to get up?" she heard Elliot ask. She opened her eyes to see Elliot standing next to the bed, pulling on his boxer briefs. As she watched, he picked up his jeans and pulled them on, but he didn't bother zipping them. He stood there, looking at her, a smirk on his face. "I'm hungry."

She raised one eyebrow, still not moving from underneath the covers. "And you're expecting me to make something for you?"

"No." He leaned over and kissed her forehead. "I know that dinner tonight was probably the last time you're going to cook for a while." He stood up, staring down at her. "Let's go out."

"Right now?" She looked over at the clock. "It'll be after 10 before we get anywhere."

"You got somewhere else you need to be?" He picked up his t-shirt off the floor, pulling it over his head. "Or do you just need your beauty sleep?"

Olivia picked up the pillow next to her and threw it at him. "Very funny."

Elliot pounced on the bed, pinning her arms next to her head as he crawled over her. "You'd better be careful Detective or I'm going to have to arrest you for assault." He leaned in and gave her a kiss. He took his right hand and hooked a finger beneath the sheet, lifting it slightly, peeking under the covers.

Olivia swatted his hand away. "I thought you were hungry."

Elliot growled slightly, placing a kiss on her chest. "I am." He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

Olivia bucked her hips, trying to throw him off. "Get off so I can get dressed and we can go." She said, laughing.

Elliot gave her one last kiss before he slid off the bed. Olivia climbed out of bed, dropping the sheets and blankets. She shot a look at Elliot as she walked to the bathroom, putting a little extra sway in her hips.

Elliot groaned and fell back on the bed, clutching his chest. "You're going to kill me Liv."

EOEOEOEOEO

They ended up at a diner a few blocks from Olivia's apartment. They sat across from each other, looking at their menus. Olivia looked up and saw Elliot looking at her, a small smile on his face.

"What?" she asked.

"Nothing." He leaned back, continuing to stare at her.

Olivia kept eye contact for a minute before she turned back to her menu. "Whatever you say Stabler."

"I could get used to this." He said.

Olivia looked back up at him. "Elliot, we've been eating breakfast, lunch and dinner together for years."

Elliot just smiled. "Yeah, but not after having amazing sex."

"Shhh." She whispers, looking around quickly.

"No one's paying any attention." He laughed. They ordered something to eat and settled in to wait for their food.

"I have a question for you." Elliot said.

Olivia raised an eyebrow. "You need me to stroke your ego a little?" she smirked. "You were great." She said in a monotone, teasing him.

"Yeah, yeah. I already know that." He teased back. "But that's not what I was going to ask you."

"OK." She said, tensing slightly. They'd already had a lot of serious discussion for one day, and she wasn't sure what else he could possibly bring up.

"Where do you picture yourself five years from now?" He saw the tension in her face and rushed to clarify. "I mean, at work."

"What is this? Free career planning?" she laughed. She saw he was serious, so she shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know. Probably doing the same thing I am now. I haven't really thought about it." As the last words came out of her mouth, she realized what Elliot was asking her. She leaned back in the booth. "You're thinking about if one of us has to leave…"

"Liv, you belong in SVU. The victims need you. There's no question that if one of us has to leave, it'll be me."

"You don't get to make that decision. I can do something else. I can help rape victims in other ways. I can be a rape crisis counselor, or get involved with shelters. Or do advocacy."

Elliot shook his head. "Liv. I'm OK with moving on. I don't love it like you do. I don't need it."

Olivia shook her head. "El…"

Elliot reached across and put his hand over hers. "You know what? Let's not talk about it anymore. I'm sorry I brought it up. I don't want to ruin the evening. Let's just hope neither one of us has to leave. Maybe Cragen will just split us up."

Olivia let out small sigh, knowing Elliot was right. It was all just speculation at this point. "OK." She agreed. "But if he does split us up, I get Fin."

"Deal."

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia checked her messages while Elliot was in the bathroom, and listened to a message from Casey. She called her back, letting her know that everything was OK and that she and Elliot had worked things out. True to Casey's nature, she wanted to know the details. Olivia laughed, telling Casey she would call her tomorrow, hanging up just as Elliot walked back to the booth.

Elliot slid into the booth. "Cancelling your date for tomorrow night?" he asked, a smirk on his face.

"Nope. Just confirming. He's picking me up at 7."

"You're a pain in the ass." Elliot said. He slid the check across the table towards her. "Just for that, you're buying."

Olivia gave him a smirk. "Jokes on you. I don't have any money or a credit card on me." She said, holding up her hands. "I didn't bring anything with me."

"Figures." Elliot pulled out some cash and dropped it on the table as he slid out of the booth. He grabbed her hand, smiling down at her. "Let's get out of here."

They left the diner, walking out onto the sidewalk. The streets were relatively quiet, and Elliot wrapped his arm around her shoulders as they walked down the street, pulling her into his side.

"What are you doing?" she asked, looking up at him.

"We can do this now."

She nodded, snaking her arm around his waist. "Yeah, I guess we can."

"What do you want to do now?"

"I don't know. It's kind of strange to have nothing to do. We don't have to be up early. We're not on call." She laughed. "I can't remember the last time I had this much free time."

"And yesterday you were freaking out, telling me I wasn't taking this suspension seriously."

"Yeah well. Things change." She said thoughtfully. She looked up at Elliot as they continued to walk.

"Yeah." He replied quietly. He smiled at her then, the grin nearly reaching from ear to ear. He pulled her tightly against his side, giving her a squeeze before letting her go. "They sure do."

They walked in silence, arms wrapped around each other, for a moment, just enjoying the peace and quiet and the rhythm they maintained together.

"Let's stop at a bodega and get some stuff for breakfast and then let's go home." Elliot said. He didn't feel like going to a bar or anything like that. He just wanted to go home and snuggle up with Olivia and just be.

"Awfully presumptuous of you." She said, giving him a sideways glance and a small smile. She knocked her hip against his. "I haven't asked you to stay over."

Elliot stopped walking, placing his hands on her hips. He turned her so her back was to the building they were walking by, and he gently pushed her up against the wall, trapping her with his body. He dropped his mouth against hers, kissing her deeply. His hands moved at her waist as he pushed his body against hers. He dropped his mouth to her neck and sucked at the sensitive spot beneath her ear. He felt her shudder slightly and he moved his mouth up to the shell of her ear.

"Tell me you want me to go home." He whispered.

"I want you to go home." She said, laughing lightly.

Elliot pushed a knee between her legs, forcing Olivia to change her stance slightly. He pushed his upper thigh against her, moving his right hand to her breast, squeezing lightly. He trailed his tongue down her neck, nipping at the skin there.

"What was that?" he asked, moving his mouth back to her ear and nibbling on her earlobe.

"I want you to go home." She whispered again. She had every intention of having Elliot come home with her, and she knew he knew it too. But it was fun to tease him. She wondered what lengths he'd go to change her mind. Especially here in public.

Elliot pulled back slightly, giving her a strange look. It was almost as if he couldn't believe she was challenging him. He dropped his mouth against hers again, opening her mouth with his and driving his tongue into her mouth. He ran his hands down her sides, sliding them underneath the hem of her t-shirt. He ran his hands along her bare skin at her sides, and then brought them back down. He dipped his fingers into the waistband of her jeans, and tugged her towards him again. He flattened one hand against her abdomen and started to slide it down the front of her jeans, slipping his fingers beneath her panties.

Olivia's breath hitched, surprised at his boldness here in public

"Get a room!" She heard and Elliot's hand stopped. They both looked at each other, and then looked at the group of young guys that were walking by. They both burst out laughing, and Elliot noticed Olivia's cheeks flushed slightly. She pushed up off the wall, but Elliot pushed her back.

"Liv." He said, looking down at her, a devilish grin on his face.

She pushed him back and stepped around him, snagging his hand and pulling him along as she started walking. "There's a small grocery store around the corner."

EOEOEOEOEO

Olivia woke up when she heard dishes rattling. She rolled over and saw Elliot walking through the bedroom door, balancing two plates and a glass of juice. He was bare chested and clad only in his boxers, and Olivia thought he looked sexy as hell.

"Careful Stabler or you're going to spoil me." She said as he handed her a plate.

"I'm not spoiling you. I just didn't want you to get out of bed." He wiggled his eyebrows at her as he sat down next to her with his own plate.

"You have a one track mind."

"Thank God."

Olivia dug into the scrambled eggs on the plate. She couldn't think of the last time she'd had breakfast in bed. Or had anyone make breakfast for her period. "Umm." She moaned lightly as the eggs melted in her mouth.

"Should I be worried that you make the same sound eating eggs as you do…"

Olivia swatted him. "You do not want to finish that sentence." She teased. "These are really good. What's in them that makes them taste like that?" she asked, trying to figure it out.

"Old family recipe. I can't tell you until we're married."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "I guess I'll wait then." She picked up a piece of toast. "Seriously though. Why all the royal treatment? We could have made breakfast together."

"I just wanted to do something nice for you."

"And…?"

He pressed his lips together. How did she know he had something else to tell her? He looked over at her and saw she had stopped eating and was watching him intently.

"And?" she prompted again.

"Cragen left me a message. He wants to see us in his office at 3 today." He watched her reaction, but she just kept a poker face, not showing any reaction at all. She settled her plate in her lap.

"So, this is it." She said.

"Liv. Let's not think the worst. We don't even know what he's going to say."

Olivia took a deep breath. "I know."

Elliot saw her bite the inside of her cheek, and he knew she was trying to hold back tears. She never liked to let him see her cry and all of the drama over the past day and a half had made her break that rule often enough.

"It's just going to be so…different." She said. "I'm not saying it's going to be bad. It'll just be different."

Elliot nodded. "And if we're not working together, we'll be together every night."

"Unless we're working."

"Well. Yeah. I guess." Elliot said.

"We spend all of this time together because we work together. Sometimes we spend 12 or more hours together. Sometimes days on end. So now…you're going to be spending that time with someone else." Olivia said quietly. "And what if that breaks us?"

Elliot knew she was thinking about he and Kathy, thinking that the time he spent away from her had been the end of their relationship.

He grasped her hand, intertwining their fingers together. "Olivia. I love you. Time apart isn't going to change that."

"But…"

He took her hand and pulled it up to his mouth, placing a kiss on her open palm. "But nothing. It wasn't just the job that pulled Kathy and me apart. And it wasn't you. Our time was just over…our feelings changed." He reached over and put two fingers under her chin, turning her face towards him. "There is no way in hell you're getting away from me. We'll find the time. We'll make the effort."

Olivia sighed, wanting to believe him. She shook her head. "OK."

Elliot could tell she was still skeptical. "Let's just see what Cragen says." He leaned over and gave her a quick kiss. "Now eat your breakfast and let's talk about what we want to do the rest of the day."

EOEOEOEOEO

They walked into the precinct a half an hour early. Olivia hadn't been able to focus on anything after breakfast, nervous energy flowing through her body. Elliot had tried to take her mind off their meeting, but he hadn't been successful, despite his best efforts.

"This feels strange." Olivia whispered to Elliot as they walked off the elevator. So much had changed in the past few days; she felt like her life was completely different than it has been the last time she walked out of the precinct just two and a half days ago.

"Well look who showed up for work." Munch said as they walked into the squad room.

"Sorry John." Said Olivia. "We're not here to work. We just have a meeting with Cragen." Olivia nodded towards his office. "Is he in?"

"Yeah. But he's in a mood today." Munch said, shaking his head. "Something…" he dipped his head, looking at them over his glasses. "Or someone…has upset him."

Olivia smiled. She knew he was fishing for information. She looked over at Fin, raising one eyebrow in question. Fin just smiled back. She was really surprised he hadn't said anything to his partner, but she appreciated that he could keep a secret.

Elliot sat down in his chair, looking through the message slips that were piled there. Olivia noticed some files and message slips on her own desk, and pulled out her chair to sit down, when Cragen's office door opened and Casey walked out.

Casey's face brightened when she saw Olivia and Elliot. "Hey Liv!" She smirked at Elliot. "Hey Stabler." She walked over to Olivia's desk. "Do you have time to talk?"

Olivia stood up. "We're waiting to meet with Cragen…"

At that moment, the Captain walked out of his office. "Stabler. Benson. You're early." He made a motion towards his office with his hand. "Good. My office."

"Later." Mouthed Olivia as she moved around her desk towards Cragen's office. Elliot fell in line behind her. Elliot closed the door behind them, and they stood there awkwardly until he told them to sit down.

"So." Cragen sat down at his desk. "Did you enjoy your days off?"

Olivia looked over at Elliot, thrown by the question. Neither one of them said anything, figuring he really wasn't looking for an answer.

The Captain leaned back in his chair. He started back and forth between them for a minute before letting out a heavy sigh and leaning forward again. "This situation stinks." He let out another heavy sigh. "I've been sitting here for the past couple of days trying to figure out what to do with the two of you. And it's really been pissing me off. And do you know why?"

Elliot and Olivia still weren't sure if he was looking for an answer, but Olivia shook her head slightly.

He continued. "It pisses me off because I knew…" He looked over at Olivia. "The day you came into this squad room I thought…this is going to be trouble. You were smart, fierce…independent. I was happy because I thought that you would put Elliot in his place; that you weren't going to take any shit from him. And you didn't."

Olivia was confused. She wasn't sure where this was headed, but he obviously needed to get this off his chest.

"I thought you two would keep each other on your toes…challenge each other. I expected your partnership to last a year…maybe a little longer." He looked back and forth between them again. "But this something amazing happened. You two became the best team I've ever seen. And I could see how close you'd become, but I let it go because you were doing what needed to get done."

He leaned back in his chair again, just staring at the two of them. "Do you know how many times I almost split you two up?" He shook his head. "But in the end, I never did because I knew it didn't really matter. We were going to end up here having this conversation one day. I just didn't know when."

Cragen stood up, and walked over to the window that overlooked an empty interview room. He stood there momentarily before turning around to look at them again. "You two are my best detectives and the biggest pain in the ass of anyone I've ever had working for me." Elliot and Olivia glanced at each other briefly before they turned their attention back to the Captain. They both didn't dare say anything, knowing he had to get this out. "You have no idea how hard it has been to try to figure out how to handle this." He leaned against the window. "I guess before I tell you what I decided, I should ask you if…" he let out a large sigh. "I'm assuming you two are going to keep seeing each other?"

Elliot looked over at Olivia, and saw she was looking down at her hands in her lap. Elliot nodded. "Yes. We are." He put a hand over Olivia's and she flinched slightly, surprised.

Cragen nodded. "I assumed so." Olivia looked up at him then, and saw him purse his lips together. She was nervous; she didn't want to hear the next words that were going to come out of his mouth. She shot a panicked look over at Elliot, and she could feel the tension in his body.

"Well, I've thought about it a lot." Cragen said, walking back over to his chair and sitting down.

"Cap'n" Elliot said. He couldn't take this speech any longer; the way Cragen was dragging this out.

Cragen raised his eyebrows, as if reprimanding him for interrupting. "As I was saying. I've decided that I'm not going to make one of you leave the department."

Olivia and Elliot both visibly sighed. Even though each of them had been willing to leave for the other, they didn't really want to.

"You're both too good and I don't want to lose either one of you. But you can't be partners anymore." He sighed. "I figured this has been going on a long time already; you two deciding to date or whatever this is, is just a formality." He held up a hand. "However, this is on a trial basis. And I mean it. I'm watching you. You have to keep this out of the squad room. I don't want to hear about any funny business in the cribs again…or anywhere else in the building for that matter. If you both want to stay here, you have to be professional at all times."

Olivia's cheeks flushed again, still wondering how they'd been caught. She wanted to ask, but wasn't sure if this was the time. In reality, it didn't really matter because it absolutely couldn't happen again.

"There are times when you're going to have to work together…and you have to remember that there are victims involved." He leaned back in his chair again. "OK. So…do you have any questions?"

"Who are we going to partner with?" Elliot asked.

Cragen cocked his head slightly. "Hadn't made a final decision. I was thinking Fin and Liv. Only because I think you and Fin would kill each other."

Elliot nodded. "I'd feel better if Liv was with Fin."

"It's going to be a big adjustment for everyone. And Fin and Munch might not be too happy about being split up. You're going to owe them."

Olivia smiled. "Yes we will."

"Anything else?"

Olivia spoke up. "I was just wondering…" She looked down at her hands in her lap, not sure if she wanted to ask. "How did you know about what happened? I mean, there's not really a video is there?" She looked up at the Captain, and she could feel the redness in her cheeks.

Cragen shook his head. "There's no video Olivia. But do you guys really think you're the only ones in this building? You know better. There are people on duty all the time. People using the gym and the locker room. Someone heard a commotion in the cribs and was checking it out…"

Elliot interrupted. "We don't need to hear any more."

"Yeah, well I'm pretty sure there's going to be some talk around the precinct that you're going to have to endure. Unless everyone's done talking about it by now."

Olivia rubbed a hand across her forehead, as if in pain. There had always been rumors around the squad and now someone had actual confirmation. "Everyone's going to think this has been going on all along." She groaned, looking back at the Captain. "Captain, I swear…"

He waved a hand at her. "That's your problem. Maybe you two should have thought about that before you decided to use this precinct as a motel." He was still slightly mad about their lack of judgement, so he wasn't going to let them off the hook. "Any other questions?"

Olivia was still too busy thinking about the rumor mill. John alone was going to be a handful. She could already hear him asking for all of the details.

Elliot chimed in. "When?" He hadn't really said anything about any additional days of suspension or a note in their jackets.

"I'm going to break the news to them right after this. So I want you back at work tomorrow."

They both nodded. "I have to tell you two something. You've caused trouble for me so many times. There were lots of times I wanted to ship the two of you out of here." He shook his head again. "But I couldn't because ultimately, you got the job done. You have a rate of success that I'm afraid I won't be able to duplicate. And I care a lot about the two of you." He looked at Olivia as he spoke. "In a way I'm glad we're here today, because I was getting tired of watching this ridiculous situation drag on. It was evident to everyone but the two of you." He stood up again, forcing them to look up at him. "But just because I'm happy that you two finally figured this shit out doesn't mean that I'm not watching you. I am. Even more closely than before. Got it?"

"Got it." Said Elliot.

Olivia nodded. "Got it."

"OK." Said Cragen. "So do you two want to stick around while I tell Munch and Fin?"

Elliot looked over at Olivia and they both shook their heads.

"No." said Elliot. "But tell you what. Tell them to meet us at Maloney's at 6 and we'll buy them a drink."

"Or two or three." Added Olivia.

"OK. Now get out of my office." He said, sternly. As they left his office, a smile crossed his face. He really meant what he said when he had told them that he cared about them. He really did, and he was happy that they had finally worked things out between them. His only regret was that having to break up such a successful team.

Elliot and Olivia walked out of Cragen's office and headed back towards their desks.

"Everything OK?" Fin asked. "You were in there for quite a while."

Olivia nodded. "I guess so. We'll both be back tomorrow."

Fin raised an eyebrow at her. "Really." He had a surprised tone in his voice. "Hmm." He turned back to the file on his desk.

Munch walked back into the squad room and walked towards them. Just as he was about to say something, Cragen walked back out of his office. "Fin. Munch. My office please."

Fin shot Olivia a look but she looked away. She felt really horrible that the two of them had to be split up just so she and Elliot could stay in the squad room. After they had gone into Cragen's office and he shut the door, Elliot moved a little closer. "Let's get out of here before the fireworks begin." He said, motioning towards the door.

"I feel horrible. Maybe we should tell them that if it's really an issue, one of us can leave."

Elliot rolled his eyes. "Let's not go there right now. I'm happy with how things worked out and I don't want to offer for one of us to leave. They'll have a chance to calm down before we meet up with them. And then we can take it from there."

Olivia looked skeptical, but she nodded. "OK."

"Let's get out of here. It's our last free night for a while. Once we're back to work, we know it's going to be harder to spend time together."

"OK." Olivia looked at her watch. "It's not even 3:30 yet, and we aren't meeting the guys until 6." She said as they started walking towards the elevator. "So we have 2-1/2 hours to kill. What do you want to do?"

Just then, the elevator doors opened Elliot pulled her inside. He hit the button to close the door. He started to move to kiss her, until Olivia pointed up to the camera. "Best behavior." She said with a smirk.

Elliot groaned, but backed away from her.

She gave him a mischievous smile. "Let's go home."

 _Thanks for your reviews guys. I thought this might be the last chapter, but there's going to be one more!_


	34. Chapter 34

Elliot and Olivia climbed into the sedan, and Olivia let out a heavy sign as she sank into the seat.

"I didn't realize how stressful it was going to be to have that discussion with Cragen." She turned her head to look at Elliot. "I had no idea what he was going to say."

"He certainly had a lot to say." Elliot grumbled. "I didn't think he was ever going to get to it."

"I feel like we got lucky." Said Olivia. "I had almost convinced myself that one of us was going to have to leave."

Elliot pulled away from the curb. "Really? I didn't think he'd go to that extreme. I thought he'd give us a chance."

"Well, you had more faith than I did."

She stretched out, the stress of the day catching up with her. "I could use a nap."

Elliot shook his head. "No time for that Detective. I've got plans for you."

Olivia looked over at him and smiled, then turned her eyes back to the road. She closed her eyes, relaxing for the rest of the ride.

Ten minutes later, Elliot pulled up in front of her building. He looked over at her, surprised to see that she had actually fallen asleep. He shook her gently and she woke with a start.

"Hey sleepyhead." Elliot said, giving her a gentle kiss. "Glad you got your nap in."

The got out of the car and walked into Olivia's building. Olivia headed for the elevator.

"I'm too tired to walk the stairs." She explained

The elevator doors opened, and Elliot followed her in. The minute the doors closed, he wrapped his hands around her biceps and pushed her up against the wall, giving her a mischievous smile.

"Have you ever had sex in an elevator?"

Olivia laughed and pushed him off of her. "No. And I'm not about to now. Besides." She pointed up towards the ceiling. "There are cameras here too."

"Yeah, but Cragen wouldn't get this footage." He said, leaning in and giving her a kiss.

Olivia shook her head. "From now on, you have to be on your best behavior." The doors opened and Olivia slipped out, Elliot following close behind.

He moved in close behind her, his hands resting on her hips. "Dad's not here though. That's just at the precinct."

Olivia pulled out her keys, opening the door as quickly as she could while Elliot's hands started roaming, slipping under the hem of her shirt. She pushed him back with her ass, opening the door and slipping inside. Elliot was right behind her, letting the door slam shut.

He snagged her arm, and pulled her back towards him, pushing her up against the door, his hands on her upper arms. "You have no idea how unhappy I am that Cragen's got us under surveillance." He dropped his mouth to her neck, placing open mouthed kisses there. "Do you know how many times I've thought about you and me at the precinct?"

"Yeah?" Olivia whispered, wondering if Elliot's thoughts mirrored some of her own.

"Yeah. In the cribs…in the interrogation room." He trailed his hands up her body, grasping her breasts in his hands, massaging them through her t-shirt. "There were times, when we were interrogating a suspect…God, I just wanted to bend you over that table… He didn't finish that thought as he captured her mouth with his, kissing her deeply. He moved his hands back down to her waist, sliding them underneath her shirt and pulling it up and over her head. He ran his hands back down to her breasts, taking them in his hands and burying his face in her cleavage.

"Mmmm" he moaned, reaching up and dragging one strap down her shoulder, freeing her breast. He took it in his mouth, licking and teasing her, and Olivia felt a rush of liquid heat between her legs. Elliot dragged the other strap down, and lavished attention on her other breast. Olivia was writhing against the wall, running her hand through Elliot's short hair.

El replaced his mouth with his hand, continuing to massage her breast while he moved his mouth down her body. He trailed his tongue down her abdomen until he reached her belt. He dropped his hand from her breast, unbuckling her belt as he placed kisses on her stomach.

"Elliot." She whispered, her body trembling slightly in anticipation. He unbuttoned her jeans and then unzipped them, his tongue trailing downward as her skin was revealed. He reached up, tugging her jeans down her hips, forcing Olivia's legs apart slightly as he continued to pull them down over her thighs. Olivia jolted as he placed his mouth over her, and she pushed her hips forward.

She wanted his mouth on her bare skin…his tongue between her legs.

Her legs buckled as he ran his tongue over her covered slit, and he pulled his mouth away, catching her. He moved her over to the small table in the entryway, swiping the mail and other junk to the floor. He turned her around, placing her arms on the small table. Olivia gave him a sly smile, bending over as Elliot dropped back to his knees. He ran his hands up the back of her legs, pushing them apart slightly. He placed kisses along the back of her thighs, sending shivers through her body.

Elliot reached up and hooked his fingers through the waistband of her panties, pulling them down her hips. He kissed his way up her ass, as he trailed his fingers up her inner thighs.

Olivia moaned, he body clenching as she anticipated his hands between her legs.

"El." She hissed. "Stop teasing me." She tried to free her legs but they were trapped by her jeans.

"Patience." He whispered against her skin and he reached down helping her free herself from her jeans. Once her legs were free, Olivia widened her stance and looked back at him over her shoulder.

"I want you." She said, her voice low and throaty. Elliot stood up, trailing his fingers up the back of her thighs again. He stood up and pulled his t-shirt up and over his head, and then quickly shed his jeans. He leaned over, tangling his hand in her hair and placing kisses on her shoulders. Olivia let her head drop down on her hands, and Elliot ran his hands down her spine. His ran his hands over her ass, squeezing as he nipped and kissed the skin on her lower back. He slid his hand down between her legs, and Olivia gasped as he penetrated her slightly with his fingers. She pushed her ass back into his hand, and Elliot slid his fingers inside of her.

"Oh God." Olivia moaned, arching her back as he moved inside of her.

Elliot pulled his fingers back out, sliding his fingers between her folds and hitting her clit, causing Olivia to jump slightly. He ran his fingers back over her clit a few times and then back down, stretching and twisting inside of her. He moved his fingers in and out and he felt Olivia's muscles clench around him. He pulled them back out, and slid between her folds again, running back and forth over her clit. He could feel her body starting to tremble, and he pulled back.

"Goddamnit." Olivia moaned. She was so close and Elliot knew it…he was dragging this out and she was going to kill him. She pushed her ass backwards again, needing him to ease the ache between her legs.

Elliot dropped down to his knees, squeezing her ass with his hands. He spread her cheeks slightly, teasing her entrance with his tongue.

Olivia's head dropped down as she let out a long, low moan. Elliot slid his tongue up her slit, hitting her clit and then he drove his tongue into her, driving her over the edge. Her entire body shuddered as her orgasm ripped through her and Elliot replaced his tongue with his fingers…her walls clenching around him as the waves of pleasure coursed through her. Elliot pulled his fingers from inside her, sliding his body over hers, peppering her shoulders with kisses and supporting her body with his.

As Olivia's breathing evened out again, she pushed back against him, forcing him to stand up. She turned around, running her hands over his chest. She looked up at him through her lashes. "I'm going to fuck you so hard." She said, pushing him towards the bedroom.

Elliot raised an eyebrow, surprised by her statement. He'd seen the predatory side of Olivia only once before…and it was sexy as hell.

Olivia continued to push him towards the bedroom, and he let her push him onto the bed. She crawled over his body, running her hand along the length of him. She lowered herself on top of him, grinding her hips against him, and capturing his mouth with hers. She kissed him hard, opening his mouth with hers and teasing the inside of his mouth with her tongue. He wrapped his arms around her, kissing her hard as her breasts pushed into his chest.

He pushed his hips up into her and moved his lips to her ear. "I want you so much." He growled.

Olivia moved backwards down his body, placing kisses down his chest and abs. She grabbed his boxers and pulled them down. He kicked them off with his legs. Olivia ran her tongue along the length of him, causing his dick to twitch. She mouthed the tip, teasing him with her tongue. She slid her mouth over him and Elliot let out a loud groan. She took him in, relaxing her throat to accommodate him and she slid along his length sucking and teasing him, moving in a slow rhythm until she felt him start to clench.

"No no no." He sat up slightly, grabbing her head and pulling her off of him. He didn't want to come anywhere but inside her right now. She gave him a sultry smile, licking her lips, and she moved back up his body. She slid her wet folds over him until he was positioned at her entrance. She slid backwards, taking him in slowly and they both moaned, Olivia's eyes closing, as she sat up, taking him in completely. She clenched her muscles around him, rotating her hips slightly as she balanced herself with her palms as she braced herself against his thighs. He pushed his hips up, trying to get even deeper and Olivia let out a low guttural tone that hit him in the groin. She continued to grind against him, clenching her muscles and Elliot grabbed her hips.

Olivia leaned forward, bracing her hands on his chest, and Elliot looked at her flushed face…her eyes still closed. She moved slowly…lifting her hips up and then back down…the friction causing a wonderful burn throughout his body. He reached up, caressing her cheek with his hand and her eyes fluttered open. She gave him a small smile, her eyes hazy and her face flushed, and he thought she'd never looked more beautiful.

"I love you." He said quietly and her eyes slipped closed again. Elliot pulled her down against him, causing him to slip out. She protested, but Elliot rolled her over onto her back. He spread her legs with his, and slipped back inside of her. She spread her legs wide, taking him in completely, and Elliot drove into her, increasing the pace to her fervent moans. She felt the familiar feeling in the pit of her stomach and she clenched her muscles together, lifting her hips up to meet his.

She opened her eyes, and saw Elliot staring down at her. "I love you." She mouthed as they both hurtled over the edge together.

EOEOEOEOEO

When Elliot and Oliva arrived at Mahoney's, Fin and Munch were already there. They had already talked about it on the way over, and had decided that they were going to act like business as usual. They didn't want to cause any more friction.

"Well, look who showed up. The two love birds." Said John as she slid into the booth.

Olivia pressed her lips together, unsure of how to respond. She knew they were going to have to get a few licks in.

"Hey guys." She said.

Elliot remained standing. "I'm going up to the bar. What do you want Liv?"

"Just a beer."

"OK." He looked over at Munch and Fin. "And what about you guys? I'm buying."

Fin rolled his eyes. "You think buying me a drink is going to make up for stealing my partner?"

Just as the words were out of his mouth, a waitress stopped by. Elliot slid into the booth and ordered for he and Liv, and Fin motioned for her to bring them another drink as well.

"Liv can't order her own beer now?" asked Fin.

Olivia rolled her eyes and decided to dive right in. "Listen guys. I'm sorry that things worked out this way. I never wanted you two to have to break up."

Munch leaned in. "Fin got the better part of the deal. Why can't I be your partner Liv?" He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

"Because Cap'n knows I'd kill Stabler." Said Fin.

Olivia smiled. "That's pretty much what it boiled down to." She dropped the smile and got serious again. "Really. I didn't want you guys to have to split up, and if it's really a problem, we can figure out something else." She shot a look over at Elliot, who had been staying quiet this entire time.

"Yeah. We can figure out something else." He offered, not really happy that Olivia had brought that up as an option.

"We know that means that one of you would have to leave, and as much as we didn't really want to split up, we know it's just as hard on you. And we don't want either of you to leave." Said John. "Plus, I figure if I'm paired up with Stabler, he'll give me some juicy details on your sex life."

Olivia rolled her eyes and Elliot chimed in right away. "Not going to happen."

"C'mon. I'm not getting any. I have to live through you guys." He leaned towards Elliot again. "I bet she likes to be on top."

Olivia felt her cheeks flush, thinking back to just a few hours ago.

"Aha!" John said, pointing at her when he noticed the redness in her cheeks. "I'm right."

Olivia slapped his hand down. "Knock it off. I'm not discussing my sex life with you and if I ever find out that Elliot is, he won't have to worry about having a sex life anymore."

"God, I don't want that in my head." Said Fin. "I already know too much."

The waitress brought their drinks. They all took a drink and it was quiet for a minute around the table.

Finally, Fin broke the silence. "Listen. We've been joking around but it isn't like we didn't see this coming."

Olivia looked over at Elliot. Apparently, everyone had been expecting this except for them.

"So it'll be an adjustment, but we'll all get through it."

Olivia smiled. Fin was the last person she had expected a pep talk from. "You surprise me sometimes. I don't hear you say things like that very often."

"Yeah well there's lots of words of wisdom locked up inside here. I just don't let it out very often." He looked over at Elliot. "And I know you and I don't get along very well…but you have to know man. I got Liv's back. I'm not going to let anything happen to her."

Elliot nodded. "I know."

Olivia smiled, looking around at the guys in the booth with her. They'd been a great team for a long time. She trusted all of them with her life, and she knew they trusted her too. And even though the pieces were being shuffled around, she knew they'd work it out.

She raised her bottle, and everyone else did the same. "Here's a toast to all of the men in my life. To having each other's backs…I love you guys."

The clinked bottles and they all took a drink. Olivia looked over at Elliot, feeling settled for the first time in a long time. She loved Elliot with everything she had…and for her, there was no looking back.

Elliot caught her look and gave her a small smile back, glad to see her look happy. In some ways, he couldn't believe things were finally working out for them…he felt like the luckiest man alive.

"Ah man." Said Fin. "Go ahead and kiss her."

Olivia and Elliot both let out a small laugh; more than happy to oblige.

 **Authors Note:**

 **I just want to say thank you to everyone that read this story, and to those that left a review. A special shout out to my beta** _ **writersrefinery**_ **. This story wouldn't be half as good without her guidance and suggestions. I will be posting an epilogue shortly, so watch for that.**

 **It's on to my next story…and if you haven't read my other stories, feel free to browse. Thanks!**


	35. Epilogue

One year later:

Olivia looked up from where she was sitting at her desk. John and Elliot were on their way back from interviewing some witnesses, and Fin was in court, so the squad room was fairly quiet. Things had been crazy in the city this summer, so she was somewhat glad for the reprieve.

She thought back to everything that had happened over the past year, glancing down at the diamond on her left hand. She smiled…thinking back to the night 6 months ago that Elliot had proposed. She'd been surprised because it seemed like it was too soon. But in reality, she'd been expecting it, even anticipating it, and she'd accepted without hesitation. As of now, she refused to set a date though, and it frustrated Elliot to no end. Somehow, just having that commitment…the ring on her finger…seemed like enough for now. She tried to explain that to him, and he said he understood, but still pushed her on it sometimes.

She ran her hand over her abdomen, caressing the small bump forming there. She smiled. A year ago, they'd had to tell Cragen about their relationship, and he'd split them as partners. Now, when Elliot got back, they were going to tell him about this latest development, and she was certain she'd be on desk duty for the next 5-1/2 months.

Things had gone relatively smoothly with the partner change; a lot better than she had anticipated. She missed working with Elliot. She still did. But now it was almost strange on the rare occasion they did end up partnering together. She could understand why people who were involved shouldn't work together; it definitely changed things.

Olivia was getting used to change. After several months of carting clothes between each other's apartment, she'd finally given in and they had moved in to a new place together. Elliot's kids had finally come around, each in their own way. And now it wasn't uncommon to have several kids camped at their apartment. Kathy and Olivia had some to a level of détente that was tolerable. They would never be good friends, but she never expected they would be.

Olivia had lived a solitary life for so long…and now she rarely had a moment to herself. She rubbed her belly again. And those moments were going to be even fewer very soon.

She wasn't complaining.

She'd never been happier.

Elliot talked about moving to the suburbs when the baby was born. There was no way in hell that was happening. She was putting her foot down about that.

Elliot had asked her if she wanted to stay home with the baby. A year ago, she never would have dreamed about leaving SVU. Now…she could imagine it. She didn't think she was cut out to be a full time mother, but for the first time in her life, she thought about doing something else. And she thought that it might be OK. She hadn't decided yet.

She was shaken from her thoughts when she heard footsteps, and she swiveled around in her chair and saw Munch and Elliot walking into the squad room. Elliot rested a hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently.

She watched as Elliot walked by her desk and a small smile crossed her face. Sometimes she was amazed at how much she loved him. Their appetite for each other hadn't changed over the past year, and the fighting and lack of communication were behind them. She would never have thought they would be here.

She never thought she'd be here.

"Liv." She heard Elliot call her name softly, and she looked up to see him standing next to her desk. "Ready?"

Olivia nodded and stood up, following him as they headed towards Cragen's office. She was a little nervous, knowing that her life was about to change again. But she knew it was all worth it.

Elliot knocked on the door and stuck his head in. "Cap'n. Can we talk to you for a minute?" He looked at Olivia and gave her a big smile as he followed her into Cragen's office, shutting the door behind them.

The End.

 _Thank you!_


End file.
